Normalisation of sexual harassment against men

JohannReddit · 2022-09-03T23:39:03+00:00

Check out a portion of the most recent Oscars opening monolog (FF to 1:45) when Regina Hall essentially gropes some of the more attractive male celebrities in attendance and passes it off as a joke about testing for covid.

Not sure if the men were "in on it". But can you imagine the backlash if the genders had been reversed?

Huffers1010 · 2022-09-04T02:42:00+00:00

I'm in an industry which is very touchy-feely, and women often approach for a hug. I don't like it and usually hold out a hand to shake. I reckon about a third of women walk straight past it, saying something along the lines of "oh, come here!" and grab me anyway. It probably happens weekly, I'd say, and not always the same person. I should add, most of these people know I'm married and absolutely all of them can see I'm extremely unattractive, physically, so I'm emphatically not claiming they're throwing themselves at me for any reason other than to take the piss. I feel mocked as much as violated.

If I did that to a woman, I'd be looking for a new job in minutes. If a woman does it to me, it's funny.

I'm just going to start shoving them forcefully away at some point, and we'll see how that goes.

Either-Formal4826 · 2022-09-03T22:43:11+00:00

One thing that comes to mind is when people tell men who are going to prison “don’t drop the soap”. You’re essentially saying “be careful or you’re gunna get raped hehehehe”. It’s a disgusting and evil thing to say but people think it’s an acceptable and funny joke.

blackdahlialady · 2022-09-04T03:54:10+00:00

I think it sucks that TV and movies tend to do this. It's never okay for someone to touch you without permission. I have a male friend that I occasionally make out with but I always ask him if I can touch him first. I would never just go in and assume he'd be okay with it. I'm so sorry for what you have to go through as men. I can't imagine having your body touched and then having someone go, it's not a big deal.

Since we're talking about TV and movies, I just remembered a good example of this happening. If any of you have seen the movie Wedding Crashers, the part where I believe it was the mother of the bride. She showed one of the guys her new breasts. She had gotten implants or something. She was telling him to go ahead and touch them.

He went back and told his friend about this and how it surprised him and his response instead of being supportive was what the hell are you bitching about? You got to touch a hot older chick's knockers. I just think that that is another good example of how we brush off harassment and sexual assault against men.

Edit: I think it's unfortunate and frankly disgusting that we as a society teach others that men are constantly horny and will take whatever attention they can get. They mistakenly assume that because of this trope, men are always welcoming of this kind of attention.

They don't stop and think about the fact that just like women, they are going to come across people who are interested in them but they don't return the feelings. It's okay to feel that way and to reject someone's advances. What's not okay is to have someone downplay or outright dismiss your feelings about this.

It's not okay for someone to touch your body or to continue to hit on you when you've expressed that you're not interested no matter the gender. I'm tired of people acting like it's only messed up if it happens to women.

YesYesYesVeryGood · 2022-09-04T05:31:57+00:00

Imagine if he pulled away and slapped her. He then stomps away and says "Pervert!"

Professional_Ad8074 · 2022-09-04T00:05:15+00:00

Ugh.. Im a female and back In high school in my broadcast technology class I had gone around acting goofy pinching the guys butts in my class. I was always a clown. We were all friends in there, one of them was my best friend out of the class too but now looking back I wish I hadn’t done that. I don’t even remember any of their reactions. Even if I was joking and they weren’t bothered, I still shouldn’t be doing something like that. I violated them just to be silly but because of the double standard, I thought it was ok.

Can you imagine if one of the guys was going around pinching the girls butts? Granted there was only 3 of us in there-but still. That stuff shouldn’t be normalized and it was even worse back then.. this was nearly 15 years ago…

So to any man who has ever been sexually harassed and felt uncomfortable or felt they couldn’t say anything because of the stigma- I am so sorry. You shouldn’t have to ever deal with that…ever. I hope you have the strength and courage to fight back if it ever happens to you.

Double standards are nasty 🤮

❣️

mgtowolf · 2022-09-04T00:47:59+00:00

One of the weird things I remember being a kid. I used to think I was supposed to think girls were gross/annoying etc because that's how boys on TV acted, and that I was some kind of weirdo because most girls I knew were OK in my books lol.

ExMuzzy · 2022-09-04T12:11:22+00:00

The movie 40 days and 40 nights shows a man getting raped for laughs and has him apologise to his girlfriend for getting raped. The writer essentially called a person a baby during an AMA for having a problem with it.

trashtony69 · 2022-09-04T09:10:11+00:00

Welcome to the normalisation of sexual harassment of men in media. It’s not very often it’s not played for laughs.

YesAmAThrowaway · 2022-09-04T09:11:02+00:00

Reminds of how the ppl that did Little Britain were live on stage, got a male audience member up and proceeded to expose his naked butt to the audience. The guy clearly didn't know this was going to happen and looked very surprised, though not entirely unamused.. Not just embarrassed, but thrown off by it. Everybody laughed. I have lost respect for the Little Britain guys since then.

Edit: factual corrections, here's the video: https://youtu.be/zFJmYzKELFg

CommissarSteel56 · 2022-09-04T12:27:06+00:00

I have noticed this with my own family. Growing up my younger sister(16 at the time) would sharpen her nails and scratch my arms. She would also full on punch my arms, shoulders and me in general any time she thought it would be funny. Especially if my parents were around. I was 20 at the time and much larger than her, I never retaliated unless she drew blood(my code so I don't get into trouble).

One day she decides to scratch my arms again, this time in front of our parents during a movie. She scratched so hard that blood gushed from the gashes. In response I grab her hand, which still has my blood on it and scream at her to stop. My mother and father start screaming at me to let her go, threatening to call the cops on me until they see the blood on her hand and my arm. They spoke to her in her bedroom after the movie. Me they read the riot act for "grabbing at someone smaller and more helpless"

wineblood · 2022-09-03T22:40:10+00:00

Most TV shows depict things incorrectly just to get viewers to be engaged. I'm not dismissing your concerns about this scene, but the bar for TV/film is very low.

Training-Rich5057 · 2022-09-04T11:12:53+00:00

Double standards and hypocrisy.

[deleted] · 2022-09-04T09:16:08+00:00

Anime pretty much says it all.

There’s Is This A Zombie? where the male lead gets degraded and brutally beaten every time he gets suspected of sexually harassing a girl. One of the girls though goes on a sexual harassment spree towards him by staring at his ass, giving him a dirty love letter, approaching him in a creepy manner and even posting pictures of his ass on the internet. Oh, and she even confesses it to one of her female friends who confronts her about why she’s so obsessed with him before also starting engaging in a bit of it. She then scolds the guy for sexually harassing her after she was caught.

Shimoneta is another one since we have this one girl who goes after the male lead in a lustful manner. There’s even a moment where she literally gives him cookies in which she mixed her “juice” in the batter. And I don’t even want to talk about this one scene where she rapes him. All of which is played for laughs.

Another one that comes to mind would be Gate which also shows how differently sexual misconduct is portrayed depending on who does it. We have a rape scene where the corrupt prince rapes his slave who’s shown to be in pain. We have another scene later in the series where one of the female leads tries to rape our male lead. But of course, unlike the other one, this one was stopped before it could get serious and besides the male lead feeling uncomfortable, they clearly tried to make it funny. Yeah that sounds reasonable.

Some anime that especially seems to love it would be How Clumsy You Are, Miss Ueno, Aho-Girl and The Fruit Of Grisaia because these ones are insane. Basically we have a girl who tries to win a guy’s affection by using all kinds of perverted methods, all of which are clearly played for laughs. Not to mention how they push a bunch of narratives about guys being nothing more than sex machines who specialize in sexual misconduct. Fortunately they at least had the decency to make the guys probably asexual (their sexualities have never been officially confirmed but they sure seem asexual) to make all their tricks fail.

Amagami SS had a scene where a girl groped the male lead in public before screaming that he was the one who groped her after he confronted her about it.

Now these are just a few of the ones that I watched.

Hell, this normalization even affected me in real life. I was sexually harassed and assaulted multiple times by girls, but I was under the delusion that sexual misconduct can only be men-on-women, so I literally didn’t even know it was sexual misconduct until years later.

I could even talk about how big of a hypocrite one of the girls who assaulted me was. She was someone I had to be around while I stayed at a psychiatry for other teenagers. I was playing table tennis and missed the ball which landed next to her. She then put into her bra before warning me not to touch her boobs. Since I at least had some decency and was totally the privileged male in this situation, there was nothing I could do. This same girl would casually inappropriately touch me on multiple occasions before ganging up on me with another girl.

slaveknightgael40 · 2022-09-04T09:56:42+00:00

You think thats bad what about "love island" and "the bachelor/bachelorette" how is that not cancelled when was it realistic relationship behaviour and anything close to what happens in real life

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-04T20:00:40+00:00

You can make a complaint about this to censorship. Use gender neutral terms.

Historianof40k · 2022-09-04T12:35:45+00:00

ah god i am gonna have to tell this story when i was in either year 8 or year 9 can’t remember i was groped by a another boy and teachers brushed it off

r7anubis · 2022-09-04T16:52:57+00:00

Welcome to today's world, where horrible, toxic men are accepted (for being dominating in bed, and having a lot of money)

Welcome to today's world, where good men, who are not good looking, or a gentleman, are rejected (for being a simp/pussy/too docile)

This is 99% of cases. Leads to divorce, alimony, child support, etc.. (Mostly burdens men)

1% of cases = happy ending. Very rare

bmania77 · 2022-09-04T01:22:28+00:00

Chad problems

PaddleFishFap · 2022-09-04T01:28:55+00:00

You need to take tv/ Movies writing with a grain of salt. These types scenes usually written like to build drama or conflict drive a characters story. Yes usually it can be excessive.

Educational_Bet_6606 · 2022-09-07T17:37:06+00:00

That's been the case fir decades if not longer

Title	Normalisation of sexual harassment against men
Author	Mailingriver_
Upvotes	506
Comments	78
Date	September 3, 2022 10:31 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/x56qcw/normalisation_of_sexual_harassment_against_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/normalisation-of-sexual-harassment-against-men.1130189 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130189

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