And especially inexperienced or virgin men. It is a sheath of optimism which shrouds a knife of lies and omission, and we would appreciate it if we were told the hard truths instead.

The masquerade and overarching theme is that we're not missing out on anything and that if we work on establishing ourselves and "getting your shit together" then we'll attract somebody. But here's the implicit speech: "get your shit together and somebody will finally settle for you and settle down with you". Listen, people, and listen carefully........

Me and many other men want to experience being wanted for who we are inside and out, NOT for the life around us. We want a mutually tenacious, crazed, enthusiastic, endowed with lust attraction. We want instant throbbing boners for our significant other and we want her to have the same response for us and we want her to be submissive and enthusiastic about it (before it's too late.....).

In the light of "unrealistic expectations" rhetoric, we're told this is seen exclusively in scripted media. FALSE: it's seen almost exclusively in youth (with some exceptions). By perpetrating this assertion as true we sell inexperienced men past their prime a false sense of security and, subsequently, more dating opportunities to women of a similar age demographic.

Those who get the quintessential experience seldom talk about it while cherrishing the memories in secrecy, and those who don't get it will deny it and shame you for wanting it and simply believing it's possible.

"But women's libidos peak in their 30s"...... Some of us are lucky enough to maintain peak libidos in our 30s, but absolutely nobody is suddenly getting an influx of sex hormones and dopamine at that age to substantiate the claim. What is true however is that some of us are sexually suppressed by cultural and/or familial influences. If you aren't burning up in heat and wanting to fuck AT LEAST 3 times a day minimum, you're not peaking and your wellness isn't optimal. If you need to warm up and make love preceeding sex you're not peaking and your wellness isn't optimal.

My advice to us inexperienced guys getting older: get out of active dating, invest more emotional and monetary resources and time into what brings meaning to your life, become polygamous and date passively; never go out of your way to meet women. Any and all dating/sexual opportunities should be low effort and easy as maintaining any other valued friendship in your life. Don't expect much, just be yourself and relish what you've got left. And this probably goes without being said but absolutely don't deceive anyone: communicate your interest in polygamy.

Be cognizant of any resentments and jealousy, and get therapy if needed as this will be your undoing and ruin your life. I have redeemed much of my mind and much potential by adopting this attitude, and found a polygamous mother of 4....she's great 🙃