Looking for hard truth

throwawayfun_222 · 2024-01-21T21:34:30+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you are going through a tough time right now. Based on your post history, it looks like you’ve come into some money from an accident you were in. If you can financially, my suggestion would be to find a therapist who specializes in trauma. Even if you try 3-4 different therapists and none of them stick or you don’t find that you’re meshing well through the initial rapport sessions, sometimes venting out loud to them really helps you pin point the specifics of what you’re struggling with.

Low impact walking, lifting weights and focusing on a cleaner diet may help right now. You don’t have to eat a strict diet, but maybe lowering the amount of caffeine, sugar and inflammatory foods will help your mental state while recovering.

Have you tried repairing any of your relationships or friendships yet?

CranberrySoftServe · 2024-01-21T21:37:21+00:00

I think you already know the hard truth. You outlined the things you need to improve on: Cooking, cleaning, self care, fixing mental health issues, you've identified that certain behaviours are bad, you've identified that you are not taking responsibility for your life and are blaming others.

What are you actively doing to address any of this? Are you in therapy? I don't think you need suggestions from us, it sounds more like you're seeking validation. You've already identified the issues and can work backwards to fix them. You just need to actually want to do it enough to make yourself do the work.

Scared-Tea-8911 · 2024-01-22T13:07:58+00:00

None of us are licensed therapists or psychiatrists in a therapeutic relationship with you. From your description, it sounds like you really should be having these discussions in the context of a therapeutic relationship, vs with un- or under- qualified people on the internet.

Eating disorders, a cluster B and/or BPD diagnosis, troubled relationships, difficulty accepting responsibility etc. may all be symptoms of the same psychological root causes. I think it is in your best interest to get with a psychiatrist and ensure that: 1. Your medication plan is balanced and appropriate - and is flexible enough to account for both manic and depressive episodes. 2. You have regular contact with a licensed therapist who specializes in eating disorders and executive function issues. 3. You have an emergency plan/medical support system in case you ever have any extreme feelings or issues on your medication.

Addressing symptoms (like dressing poorly or not cooking yourself food etc.) is unlikely to be successful if you have unmanaged psychiatric issues that will undermine your progress! It may even make things worse - you will be setting yourself up to be unsuccessful, if you don’t have your conditions managed before you jump into a new self-care program.

I would strongly advise you to be in treatment/counseling for the disordered eating, get a good handle on your cluster B/BPD, and speak with a therapist about your self-reported selfishness/lack of accountability before any of the other issues are sustainably solvable.

I could give you recommendations on meal planning, gratitude journals, planners, capsule wardrobes, etc… but none of it will stick if you don’t have the hard work done up front! It will just give you a facade of well-being with the other issues still not addressed.

Jenneapolis · 2024-01-21T23:24:16+00:00

Get yourself into a routine first that includes small wins. Maybe you have a goal of cooking one meal a week for yourself. Maybe you walk for only 10 minutes a day, to the corner and back. But make some very small goals with a daily routine. Once you master those for a week, set higher goals. Don’t focus on anybody but yourself right now.

JustAnotherBoymoder · 2024-01-21T23:58:07+00:00

I have BPD too, and that's been my biggest impediment to dating, more so than conventional deal breakers. Men may put up with their peace constantly being disrupted for a 9/10 woman, but they'll never do it for a 7/10 or below woman. If you can get to the point of emotional regulation that you at least don't involve others, you'll see a great increase in the men you attract and the quality of your relationships.

Exstntial-strawberry · 2024-01-22T18:46:55+00:00

I’m proud of you for reflecting and being self aware of yourself. This is the first step to getting better and healing. ❤️‍🩹

ArkNemesis00 · 2024-01-22T02:48:12+00:00

Are you on medication for the BPD?

Substantial-Elk5388 · 2024-01-22T00:31:05+00:00

You should get a job and get out and live your life and get therapy, not just stay inside, that’s badly effecting your mental health… I’ve known people with bpd and they are very unfair… they cut people out for one perceived misunderstanding. I had a friend with bpd who got angry over a personal experience of mine that didn’t align with hers and she cut me off forever which was really hurtful. She also used to complain against every one and try to mess up their life by making complaints against them like to their jobs and stuff, you have to be self aware and not take things personally and think everything is about you..

AutoModerator · 2024-01-21T21:22:24+00:00

Title: Looking for hard truth

Author Mobile-Ad-8925

Full text: Thank you I’m advance for taking the time to read this.

I am single, 29 female. I live alone in an apartment. I was in a car accident and have been living off that, so no work or volunteer. I’m not feminine whatsoever, my energy is very masculine. Been diagnosed with a plethora of mental illnesses, BPD being most obvious. But to be honest I’ve looked at cluster B diagnoses and I could easily fit all of them.

I don’t cook or keep up with cleaning, I’m really bad at cooking there is no love involved whatsoever, and my eating is pretty disordered. Dressing myself is really hard in that I never know what is appropriate to wear without drawing too much attention.

All of my relationships are extremely troublesome, I’m sure for others even more than me though of course it is me who is isolated. I have pushed every single person out of my life by my bad behaviour. I think I don’t make people feel good at all.

Basically I do not take responsibility for my life whatsoever and chose instead to blame everyone else for my problems, which makes them 10x worse.

I’m selfish to the core. I’ve noticed that praying for people without telling them helps keep me in the moment and feeling connected to others when they aren’t there. I am very open to any suggestions. I’ve been healing since 25 and I may be missing something.

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-01-21T21:22:25+00:00

Thank you for posting to RPW. Here are a couple reminders:

If you are seeking relationship advice. Make sure you are answering the guidelines for asking for advice on the rules page
Do not delete your post once you have your answers. Others may have the same question!
You must participate in your own post. If you put up a post and disapear, it will be removed.
We are not here for non-participants to study us. If you are writing a paper or just curious, read our sidebar and wiki and old posts.
Men are not allowed to ask questions and generally discouraged from participating unless they are older, partnered and have Red Pill experience.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

BBCSnowbunnylover · 2024-01-21T22:51:49+00:00

I looked at your post history. You really need someone to talk to. Fellowship is very important. Reach out to me in your dm. It is a good thing that you pray. Give your problems to God. GOD will never forsake nor give you something you can not handle. We ask God to strength the spirit and weaken the flesh for it is the flesh that tricks us into depression and self doubt.

Objective_School_738 · 2024-01-21T21:43:19+00:00

Maybe you should communicate these prayers to those people. For example, I finally reached out to my ex with a prayer thanking God for giving him a spouse to love him when I wasn’t able to. That same ex now checks on me more regularly. It’s possible to mend relationships so that you don’t feel so bad about yourself and your past mistakes. If you’re able to learn to learn from those past mistakes, they transform into lessons that will benefit your future. If you need a friend, please DM me. I’m happy to listen and let you vent. I’ve done so much in my past so I can relate and probably tell you some stories that’ll make you seem like an angel. It’s just about rewriting your story and not letting your past become a burden.

Title	Looking for hard truth
Author	Mobile-Ad-8925
Upvotes	14
Comments	27
Date	January 21, 2024 9:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/19ce6e7/looking_for_hard_truth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/looking-for-hard-truth.1243503 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243503

Comments