How to help my husband be masculine

Wife_and_Mama · 2024-09-17T17:18:04+00:00

If you're religious, try to find a church with small groups, so he can get to know other men. If not, encourage him to cultivate a hobby that will allow him to meet other men with his interests. That could be anything from playing Dungeons and Dragons or Magic to hiking to shooting or even just online gaming.

Be encouraging, without being emasculating when he does show initiative in masculine ways. For example, if he mows the lawn one afternoon, wait until he showers and jump him. If he chops some firewood, make his favorite dinner. Don't tell him that's why you're doing these things. Just let the cause and effect work its magic over time.

Most importantly, though, realize that your husband is and always will be the man you married. It's great to encourage his self-improvement and things you think will make him happier. It's not great to wish he was someone different. Whether or not he succeeds in becoming more masculine, be willing to accept him ad he is.

meridianenergy · 2024-09-17T17:42:27+00:00

Maybe he's just not a conventionally masculine person, in which case i don't think you should be trying to encourage him to change. My opinion is its our job to make our partners feel self assured and confident in who they are, and vice versa. It's almost emasculating to want him to be more masculine

Prudent_Influence_62 · 2024-09-17T18:02:28+00:00

Help him grow in confidence in his strong traits. “You’re so smart! How do you know so much about _____?” “I’m thankful you’re so wise with money.” “Thanks for getting us home safely.” “Thank you for staying on top of the bills.” “You’re such a natural leader.” Whatever it is that he does well, encourage it with praise and appreciation.

Speak highly of him in front of other people. I read in a book that one of the most humiliating things for men is when their wife jokes about how they’re messy or don’t know how to cook or always leave the toilet seat up, etc. It sounds innocent to women but the men around them cringe because it’s so humiliating and disrespectful. Men always want to be seen as competent and they especially want their wives to view them as competent. Find opportunities to praise him in front of others and never poke fun at his weaknesses.

Let him be your hero. Don’t try to do everything around the house. Let him pick up your slack and thank him for it. Let him help you solve problems, clean up messes, and fix things. Allowing for opportunities for him to be your hero (it can be small- he picked up food on his way home!! Hero!!) is so so good for men’s masculinity.

TheBunk_TB · 2024-09-17T17:15:29+00:00

Encourage him to develop healthy male friends and healthy habits

_Pumpkin_Muffin · 2024-09-17T18:08:46+00:00

I'm curious about helping his confidence with a gym membership. Did you encourage/suggest/push him to get a gym membership? Did you set it up for him?

This does not sound like the way a sensitive nerd would instinctively choose to gain confidence.

Worried_Indication40 · 2024-09-17T17:21:52+00:00

The best advise i can give you is get him a gym membership. It will help build his confidence.. Good luck

TheStoicSamurai · 2024-09-17T20:12:49+00:00

"Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" ... you know the drill. Don't force him into anything. Ignite the flame inside of him to want to be masculine. He will find the methods by himself afterwards. Radiate feminine energy so he has to balance it out with masculine energy.

mangoes_now · 2024-09-17T22:26:27+00:00

This is largely a question of biology, and the die was cast long ago.

I think the best recommendation you've received so far is that he checks his testosterone level and supplements it if it is low (and if he's okay with being thereafter dependent upon exogenous hormones).

Lifting weights would be better than testosterone, but let's face it, very few people can actually stick with an exercise routine, so while better it's maybe not realistic.

I think the worst recommendation you've received so far is therapy.

mildlystalebread · 2024-09-18T07:19:52+00:00

I think the single most important thing to build confidence is allowing him to push outside of his comfort zone and thrive. Things like taking on new skills, joining a class or group, planning by himself a trip somewhere completely new, going on challenging hikes... Basically anything that will require him to be a bit more brave but just difficult enough and meaningful enough for him to make it and be proud of it.

BrilliantLifter · 2024-09-17T19:38:30+00:00

Get his testosterone tested. If he’s below 500 total testosterone then injectable testosterone will turn him into a confident muscular powerhouse in no time. Speaking from experience here

AutoModerator · 2024-09-17T17:04:20+00:00

Title: How to help my husband be masculine

Author Useful-Tomorrow8852

Full text: Hi all,

My husband is a very sensitive man, he is a nerd and also a bit of a loner. He grew up on the shadow of his father who pushed him around, bullied him and kept him down and miserable. Why? I don't know.

He was severely bullied throughout school and ended up with no friends.

I think all of those experiences affected his masculinity.

How can I help him? How do I build his confidence?

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dlstiles · 2024-09-17T17:49:29+00:00

I think your ideas are good. There are good life coaches out there and therapists too.

thesillymachine · 2024-09-17T18:09:18+00:00

Sounds like therapy would be beneficial.

throwawaytalks25 · 2024-09-17T20:13:52+00:00

My husband is a very sensitive man, he is a nerd and also a bit of a loner but he has opportunities to make friends.

Minus the nerd part, mine is the same. He is sensitive, quiet, and very avoidant, while also scared of getting hurt. Because of this making friends isn't really something he ever tries to do because he has been burned before.

He was severely bullied throughout school and ended up with no friends.

Same for mine.

I think all of those experiences affected his masculinity.

Perhaps that affected my husband the same way, I guess I hadn't thought about it like that before. He doesn't prefer to problem solve (just listen), he has a lower libido, doesn't prefer initiating, and prefers to follow rather than lead (except at work).

HappySpinningSeal · 2024-09-17T20:46:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

HappySpinningSeal · 2024-09-17T17:30:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How to help my husband be masculine
Author	Useful-Tomorrow8852
Upvotes	13
Comments	37
Date	September 17, 2024 5:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1fj4mtv/how_to_help_my_husband_be_masculine/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-help-my-husband-be-masculine.1530528 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530528

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