Age differences

freebumblebee · 2015-09-11T00:53:08+00:00

For me, my SO is 10 years older than me. This works out really well for us, because he's established enough in his career that he wants to settle down, and he wants to do it with a woman who prefers to be in a supporting role. Most single women his age are either divorced, single moms, or are very career focused (or a combo!), none of which he wants. Most single men my age are not looking to settle down yet or if they are, they're looking for an "equal" partner or a replacement mother to take care of them--neither of which I want. I find the age gap also lends itself to a favorable power dynamic between us. I also enjoy being the young, attractive girlfriend (which I know is shallow but hey, I'm being honest).

There are some negatives though. His timeline for kids is a bit more rushed than mine, because he wants to be able to keep up with them. There are definitely some social repercussions, although more from my side. He usually gets high-fives with the occasional fear that I'm a gold-digging whore. I usually get mild concern or confusion, and occasionally a very rude, "He's going to die at least 17 years before you," or "Why can't he find a woman his own age to date?" I also don't love that he will age before me--already has--as opposed to us doing it together.

I think dating older than you can be beneficial if only because men generally want to settle down later, and you could be hard pressed to find a non-religious 20 year old man ready for marriage and a family. If you are in a more religious or traditional community, then I take that back entirely and think you might be better off with a man your own age.

springchicken28 · 2015-09-11T01:25:12+00:00

My husband and I are the same age 10 months of the year (right now I'm the younger woman as he's 29 and I'm 28 for another month). I am happy with our lack of age gap especially since we've been together since we were teens. I feel like being the same age means we have really grown up together and learnt to navigate life together. This is a big pro for me. We were also both 21 when we had our first daughter so we've both been able to keep up with the kids together and there was never any reproductive pressure on either of us. As far as cons are concerned, biologically I think women tend to mature slightly earlier than men. This was more of a problem when we were early 20s but now that we're older I don't notice as much and actually love his fun, young at heart spirit. I have a few close friends dating older men and that seems to work well too :-)

Rowboat14 · 2015-09-11T19:39:13+00:00

I'm 23 and my husband is 31. I like the age gap, it works well because I got to be a young mum (had my first at 21) and he is still young enough to be active with the kids, but old enough to have an established career to support a family.

TempestTcup · 2015-09-11T01:50:12+00:00

My husband and I are 6 months apart, which works well for us, in the past and present. It's nice to have the same, yet separate, memories and same values growing up. We were teens in the 1970s, and both had intact families that lived one mile apart from each other. We have been together since our early 20s, so we've basically grown up together. It's been a fun ride!

I think any relationship can work, regardless of age differences, as long as you value each other's contribution to the relationship, and you have a unified front and similar ideas of your future together.

Washiface · 2015-09-12T00:12:48+00:00

My husband is older than me. I'm 28 he is 37. I personally prefer older men, but I was only attracted to people my own age until I was about 25. I find older men know what they want in life, which is very appealing to me as someone who is very directed.

tradmarriageftw · 2015-09-12T03:28:18+00:00

I am 2 years older than my husband. I was never attracted to older men. I think it does sound ideal when I hear women here talk about getting married young, when I was that age I was meeting guys that were fun to be around, but I could never move forward with because they only wanted sex. Then I met my husband and he said he wanted to have his life established before we married. I asked what he thought about us marrying and building our lives together instead and he proposed. 2 years is really nothing, we both have said we do not notice the age difference. I love that we grew up remembering some of the same things and that we get to experience a lot of firsts together, especially as we are both making more money than either of us has ever made before.

LifterofThings · 2015-09-12T22:50:17+00:00

My bf's about 5.5 years younger.

Prior to meeting him, I'd dated older, and he's got his shit together more thoroughly at 25 than a lot of the dudes I went out with who were 35+.

I don't think age mattered hugely to me in the process, except that we did have to have a discussion early on where I expressed to him that I probably wanted kids and that if he wasn't looking to "settle down" until he was into his 30s, that we weren't going to work out. Lucky for me he stuck around. :D

vguertin88 · 2015-09-11T02:01:34+00:00

My husband is a year and a half older than me. I have pretty much dated guys my age to a year or two older than me. I want to experience things together for the first time and if I date older, we will be able to experience less, that was kind of my thinking. I never dated younger, I always felt like we wouldn't be on the same page with the same priorities. Idk if any of my reasoning is true or typical but those were my reasons.

DDJo15 · 2015-09-11T15:16:59+00:00

My husband and I are exactly a month apart. Before I dated him though, I almost always went for guys that were at least 2-4 years older than me. They always seemed to have their heads on straight, more so than any men the same age as me. My husband was the first guy that I ever met that was the same age that had his priorities straight and I think that is why I always went for older guys previously. I think it is nice for us being so close in age that our timelines in life are basically the same. We are both 29 now and our first child just turned 1.

littleteafox · 2015-09-11T17:50:15+00:00

My last SO was a year younger than me. But typically I am attracted to older guys.

Eucalyptus-mint · 2015-09-13T10:04:20+00:00

I know I'm a little late to the game, but there is a five year age difference between my partner and I (he's older). I was dating people five years older for a while before I met him, though not on purpose. We both seemed to be on the same wavelength, priority-wise, so it worked out well for us. I know he feels he is a bit behind where he would like to be in life compared to his age, but he got set back a bit between a tough economy and a breakup with his previous GF of 5 years. I have been so impressed with the strides he has made even within the last few months though! The age difference works out well for us and most of the time we are unaware of it because we both act like children with one another. The only times it effects us is when one of us talks about our childhood and the other was either to young to experience it or too old to be interested in it, and our children timeline because he wants to be as young as possible for them. Even without the age difference, we would still not have similar growing up experiences because we're from two different countries (both in the west) and have two different living experiences (rural vs. suburbs), so we get to teach one another about things the other doesn't have experience with. It makes for an interesting time between us :-).

[deleted] · 2015-09-11T01:35:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Age differences
Author	freebumblebee
Upvotes	9
Comments	18
Date	September 11, 2015 12:45 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3khbzg/age_differences/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/age-differences.85595 https://theredarchive.com/post/85595

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