I've seen a couple of posts lately where the man isn't in such a great spot and the comments seem to suggest throwing the whole man out, simply because he can't be Perfectly Stoic, 24/7. Can anyone, though? Are any of the lovely ladies here the Ideal Woman, through and through, 24/7? Extremely doubtful on a good day.

I've been with my guy for 6 years and recently married him. I've learned that these phases come and go. We all go through periods of stress and disappointment, even men, believe it or not.

Here's how I handle those phases, so that we can promptly exit them and move on:

  • this is when I take extra care to be his Soft Place. I am gentle and aware that if he's getting criticism outside of the home, I need to give the exact opposite. So when he walks in the door, I am delighted to see him and have missed him all day. Be his cheerleader, ladies, not the damn referee. I make sure to look extra cute, just for him, and flirt.

  • I take on my share of the chores and most of his. When he's stressed, he can do the bins and cat litter, everything else is for me to handle.

  • I spoil him with food. Yesterday I made a frittata for brunch after he woke up, apple crumble, and pumpkin soup for dinner. Today we've got leftovers and I've got a cottage pie planned for tonight. Ladies who can be stressed with that much good food being handed to them? Not my guy anw. He asked me "what's going on today, you've been feeding me so good"? I just said "husband benefits baby"(married less than 2 months.) and his face lit up like a teenager in love. He said "I'm so happy I married you!" He spent a good chunk of the evening praising my cooking, and how well I take care of him.

  • I pamper him. I got off work earlier than him on Friday so I went and got some massage oils, pedicure set and a manly face mask. I dare him to be stressed with a face mask on. 🤣

Most importantly, I stfu during these phases and let him deal with it. I don't even mention it as a phase. Everything is fine, and I am DISCREETLY helping him recharge his batteries, gain some confidence and strength for the next week. This means NO contradictions, no suggestions, whatever he decides, roll with it. If I have nothing nice to say, I say nothing.

I suppose some would call me a Pick Me, but I've not so much as lifted a finger for another man, and yes, I do want my husband to pick me, every day. :) I want for nothing with him, and I'll be dammed if a bit of stress gets between us. 💖

Feel free to let me know ways in which you cheer YOUR man up or, if you are a man (hi guys!) how do YOU like to be cheered up? :)