As I’m getting older, wiser and more experienced in this world, I’m constantly learning what works the best for me in the journey toward becoming the man I aspire to be.
I enjoy RedPill. I think the problems with a lot of guys behaviour, limited beliefs and simply illusions is bang on. You can’t begin to fix anything before you know what the problems are and this sub does a great job of recognizing those.
One thing in my personal journey I’ve realised lately is that this ‘Alpha/Beta’ terminology is useless. Most specifically ‘Alpha’.
I went through the initial year of the pill as I’m sure many have, really fixated on this idea of being ‘an Alpha’. Until recently. I said to myself ‘fuck it I’m not using that term anymore’. The results in the way I feel about myself and my level of groundedness has changed completely.
‘Alpha’, to me, is an animal thing. We see it everywhere in the animal kingdom. The alpha lion, ape, bear. The head of the pack, the hunter gather and great impregnator.
The only problem is, we’re not animals. I get the RedPill take. We’re looking at ourselves as animals and how we meet our wants and needs on an animal level. But animals are far more simple, primal and black and white than humans.
We are far more unique, layered, individual and live in far greater spectrum of grey area. We have a greater array of personalities, emotional make-ups, complex experiences. Some parts of us are strong and powerful whilst others are limited. In some areas and situations we will thrive, whilst in others we will fail, fall and need to learn. We’ll never become an all encompassing mythical Alpha Male
To make a list of behaviours and say ‘this is an Alpha male’ completely neglects all the complexities that make us unique and individually us.
For younger guys in their teens or early twenties I think the term and many descriptions can be benficial. It can give a goal, an outline and begin the right path. For older guys above 35 like myself, running around trying to be Alpha and RedPill, wondering if the behaviour is Alpha enough is, well, sad.
It can show an incredible amount of insecurity, lack of self awareness, self-knowledge, self assurance and confidence. If by then you haven’t faced challenges, overcome obstacles, have some awareness of what drives you and to what goals and don’t have any understanding of your uniqueness, then you’ve done something wrong.
So I’ve wiped that term from my vocabulary and it’s been freeing. I prefer ‘healthy, strong, confident, self assured, driven, self-reliant’. I prefer to strive to be the best version of myself. My absolute fullest potential. Me. Unique. I lead others. I work with people in their absolute rock bottoms. I work with people who feel broken and need someone who has been there and risen from impossible odds to be a role model. I work with gangsters, criminals, ‘bad boys’ and all the guys this sub obsesses about as the “alphas’. I’ve seen enough to know true Alpha doesn’t really exist. Humans do.
Does my own past, trials, accomplishments and position mean I get to jump up and down and AMOG everyone in a room? Fuck no. I’m just a motherfucker putting in the best I can to leave a mark.
So my vocab has changed. I’ve also lost the inner narractive of ‘is what I’m doing Alpha enough? Is this choice RedPill enough? Is this going to reach my highest SMV’? That bullshit screams insecurity and lack of identity.
I do what I do because it’s what I do best. I work in particular ways because it’s the best way I work. I pursue what I pursue because it’s what I’m passionate about, what I stand for, and utilizes my strengths in the best way possible. There is always someone who seems better. Someone who has more. Someone higher status. So who is the Alpha? Nobody.
Women don’t think in terms of ‘Alpha’. The don’t see that way. It’s a term from the animal world, and leaned on heavily by Rollo Tomassi in Rational Male. It’s limiting, superficial, and tries to oversimplify the complex. Of all Rollo wrote, I think bringing into the manosphere the term Alpha was dubious decision. It has a lot of young guys running around acting and talking like fuckwits. A pale imitation of what they aren’t.
Be you. Be the best of you. Don’t be what some other man said you need to become. What also seperates us from the animals is that we’re born to play many different positions. Doctors, lawyers, builders, athletes, business owners, architects, trainers, coaches, fireman, soldiers and on and on.
This obsession with Alpha can also lead to comparison. ‘Is what I do RedPill Rollo Alphaness enough’? ‘Is that guy with bigger muscles more Alpha Chad than me? Was her ex more Chad than I am’?
Women want strength. A guy who knows who HE is. Who’se desire to fulfill what he is is greater than her. Fuck, as I’ve seen GLO write, if sexual strategy is a big part of who you are then you’re doing something wrong.
Freeing myself from this illusionary chase has allowed me to remember who I am. Maybe the strength in that is I’m self referencing. I choose what I do and what I pursue. I choose the mark I want to leave on the world and people around me. I don’t ask others their opinion, I don’t seek permission.
There is something powerful when you put away the books, and sidebars and ‘roles’. When I sit in a space of no comparison. Not less than the next man. Not better than the other. Totally just present with my individuality and being able to say ‘this...this is pretty fucking good’. It’s not in my muscle mass, my clothes, hair or jawline. Any motherfucker can have those. What good is the outsides if the insides isn’t unique. To truly know oneself is the beauty.
Trying to become ‘Alpha’ is childish. When we become a man, we let go of childish things.
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