My 30 day plan

pikadildo · 2016-12-19T20:45:37+00:00

Read Way of the Superior Man. And one other book to be suggested in the comments. (I have read Pook, WISNIFG, Rational Male. I read a thorough synopsis of NMMNG on TRP, but not the book)

Good lord read NMMNG already not some horny retard teenager's crib notes. It's on the MRP prerequisites list for a reason.

ETA: Where's MMSLP in your list? Do you even sidebar?

sh0ckley · 2016-12-19T20:21:45+00:00

Do not read The Way of the Superior Man yet.

I started there and it fucked my shit way up because I had no foundation.

There are very few reasons why explained in that book and those reasons are the foundation of RP Truth.

EDIT: if you read The Rational Male already then you might be ok.

ParadoxThatDrivesUs · 2016-12-19T21:09:21+00:00

Ok list, but I'm worried you're still doing it for the wrong reasons. Don't do these things to save your marriage or make a point or spark the right reaction. All that stuff is outside your control.

Do these things to break the mental link to your wife and improve yourself, for yourself. That's 100% under your control. Find yourself -just you, yourself - and then build from there.

I would read MMSL and MAP. Seems like they've fallen out of favor here, but I think they're solid.

Triadis3 · 2016-12-20T03:34:07+00:00

Oh, bud.

STFU does not mean stop talking to your spouse.

You're doing nothing with this but falling right back into her frame, letting her know that she still has the power to piss you off. So you keep failing her shit test.

The opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy. Don't get enmeshed.

STFU means don't get drawn into her head/conversation/emotion/games.

You keep being the best version of you. Minimize the chatter, but still be a man who sees that he can be happy with his own thoughts, company, and without entanglement. Nothing will shake her frame like you refusing to engage - EXCEPT for you going all butthurt by silent treatment.

STFU is a tool to remind yourself you don't have to talk/respond to your wife, especially as you can't spar with her yet.

Continue to game/initiate. Be the happiest, most unshakable version of you.

Rest of your map looks good.

I'd still initiate when I felt like it though - she's your wife, you WANT to have sex with her. Get the fuck out (leave the premises) when you get the hard no, though...start conditioning her. No sex=no husband.

I'm a little triadish, so take this with a grain... go to a dept store and spritz a tiny amount of woman's perfume on your neck before you go back.

Good luck brother.

nastynickdr · 2016-12-19T21:12:29+00:00

You can talk to her. Flirt with her, tease her, be cocky and funny. She starts bitching, you remove yourself from her presence, unnafected. Her bad mood doesnt affect you. Just dont DEER and dont take shit tests seriously. Give zero fucks and keep working on yourself and your MAP. Dont be afraid of her or what she will say, dont overthink stuff.

If she asks you why you dont talk to her, pretend that your lips are glued to each other "hum hum hum hummmm"

Books, if you havent read: NMMNG, WISNIFG, MMSLP, top posts of /r/marriedredpill. Save way of the superior man for later.

redmountainpill · 2016-12-19T20:13:38+00:00

I like the actionable items you have. Just a couple suggestions:

1-- this makes you look weak and butt hurt. Maybe it's what you need to do to break out of your wife's frame. After a big fight with my wife this weekend I considered doing the same. But the silent treatment never works on a woman who already hates you. Look for u/druganswers "nice card" post. Keep it light and crack some jokes. If she's still bitchy leave her alone.

3-- you're fighting oxytocin and prolactin. They are stronger than your dick right now. If she's not responding sexually after 9 months to a year, then you amp up the dread. Monk mode may be a viable option for you. I really don't think you'll gain much traction on the sex front. Focus on how you appear to others and gain control of your anger. And wrap it up tight or get a vasectomy bro. No more accidents.

stonepimpletilists · 2016-12-19T19:52:59+00:00

Logistics will be kept to a sentence

why not just make them as long as needed? that seems like restrictive for the sake of being restrictive.

#4 is good, getting up there in the dread

For your question, because she asks, is not an obligation to get an answer. Shrug shoulders, fog 'yeah, i can see how you feel that way', then continue.

bogeyd6 · 2016-12-19T23:29:05+00:00

Would only be removed on the main subreddit, but it's not even OYS quality yet. You got some work to do.

FireTempered · 2016-12-20T05:30:34+00:00

Yes, you are beginning to mold your views here. Keep working.

Some suggestions: Yes, STFU but don't go mute. Yes, read, but you might re-read some of the basics, as there is a lot to learn from them and it takes time and experience using them to get more from them. I have read NNMNG 3 times, so far. But most importantly, think carefully about what you are doing. Never forget that as you have become red pill aware, you are dealing with anger, and ego investment in the old blue pill lies.

If you were going to re-wire your whole house, it will take a while. First the messy job of stripping out all the old, bad wiring. Then studying how to actually install wiring that you have never done before. Then getting the materials together. Then starting to set in place new wires and route them in new ways. Then hooking it all up….. Do you see that this project could take a while?

You are big project and you're making progress here. Best.

drty_pr · 2016-12-20T08:08:48+00:00

When you go Mr. Mute, don't forget to be fun. I presume at some point though out your relationship you were fun? Or did she simply see you as nothing more than BB post CC? If the former is true, then slowly start to bring some of that guy back. Slowly though. You can't go from 'guy that I fuckin hate and am stuck with because we have kids' to 'guy that I fell in love with that's now became a man' overnight.

Also, this may sting a bit, you need to check that fuckin ego at the door bro. Seriously. Most every comment that you reply to, is done with an undertone of defending your ignorance. Stop that shit. You're not a victim. You're fuckin nobody. If you can't take it on the chin with grace from some dudes you'll never meet, then how can you have frame when dealing with bullshit from Mrs. Prarrott?

bogeyd6 · 2016-12-19T23:30:22+00:00

If I were you, I would spend the next three months lifting and reading only. Just let the other shit fall by the wayside. STFU through everything. Your marriage is already untenable, what's another 90 days?

omarcoming16 · 2016-12-20T03:03:48+00:00

So much better until the "and then some questions" part. You framed both questions with "her"... this is about you, and no one else. Ok, maybe your kids too, but certainly not "her". Until you start wanting to be awesome just for the sake of you being awesome, you'll struggle.

Gods speed man, hope the next 30 days go well for you and only you. Ok, maybe your kids too.

2cingle · 2016-12-20T07:17:47+00:00

STFU. Literally and completely. I plan to say virtually nothing to my wife. Logistics will be kept to a sentence. I will try to communicate as much as I can without words - body language, smiles, etc.

I wouldn't (though you might) adopt an attitude constituting a sea change in my communications with my wife that I couldn't maintain over the long haul. Partially I'm disinclined to advertise that I'm working on myself; I wouldn't want her to get the idea that I'm "learning new games to try out on her" (from her perspective) so as to give her additional ammunition. I'm more inclined to be in stealth mode so her antennae don't go up. You know you should respond to legitimate communications from her. Your responses could be measured; is that what you mean?

Read Way of the Superior Man. And one other book to be suggested in the comments. (I have read Pook, WISNIFG, Rational Male. I read a thorough synopsis of NMMNG on TRP, but not the book)

Yes, as others posted, actually read NMMNG; skip Deida's book. It's too early and depending on your sensibilities (and in my view) it's overwrought. Shiva I'm not.

... clean out the dishwasher, laundry, etc. whatever needs to be done those nights.

Why are you doing these things? Does she change the oil on your vehicles and the lawnmower? Do you take turns mowing the lawn? Raking leaves? Who cooks at your place? Who scrapes and touches up the paint on the exterior? Washes windows? Need I go on?

screechhater · 2016-12-21T05:48:08+00:00

Take a couple of steps back and relax

Your entire list is a Covert Contract. You are setting all this up to get her to notice.

You don't need to do this for her. It's easily done for Numero Uno- You

"STFU. Literally and completely. I plan to say virtually nothing to my wife."

Not good. STFU, think before you speak and fall into her frame, avoiding DEER and other situations. STFU as in let her talk circles and talk her self out. Just let her talk, if she is being a bitch let her talk. It might be quite comical

"Read Way of the Superior Man. And one other book to be suggested in the comments. (I have read Pook, WISNIFG, Rational Male. I read a thorough synopsis of NMMNG on TRP, but not the book)"

No, read NMMNG in book format. Fuck everything else and knock this out ASAP

"Remove all hope of sex. I'll initiate (with very few words) if it seems appropriate, but I generally dont even expect this to happen."

Just get sex on the brain under control

"Be out of the house at least two nights a week. "

For what reason ? Good, but explain as to why

"Continue lifting heavy weights (Obviously)"

Good

"Commit at least two other nights a week to household projects (change light bulbs, mow the grass (it needs it once more where I am) clean up the garage and storage, clean out the dishwasher, laundry, etc. whatever needs to be done those nights."

Good

"My wife bosses me around, and I fear her emotions. She does not give a shit about me, and is disgusted by me. Won't even touch me, and barely talks to me. I've been beaten down by this for years, and I'm trying to come to some congruency within myself. In order for her to really enter my frame, I have to have a solid one to begin with. I'm spending the next 30 days really focusing on this"

Listen up. OYS and I mean comb through every fucking thing in that house that belongs to you and clean it and you up. Look in the mirror and decide the changes

Look up respect and healthy relationships. Nothing in there about being a bitch or unhappy

Stop the nonsense of her entering your frame. Work on owning your shit. It will come trust me

Doormat_Dad · 2016-12-21T15:05:10+00:00

A lot of this seems in a bitter anger frame which I totally get.

Consider doing something for yourself as well that you will enjoy: for example I love surfing and had to force myself to get out there and surf again. After a while the passion for it came back and I looked forward to it.

Also consider spending some of your money on yourself. I know that is hard to do when you have a SAHM. Small things: I had my car windows tinted last week despite wife going ballistic about it afterwards.

I would also remind you that having a 4 month old is probably going to severely hinder your sex life so accept that and be prepared to wait a bit and not be butt hurt

pikadildo · 2017-01-05T05:29:46+00:00

It's been two weeks since you made this plan.

Time to self-evaluate and post your progress in the OYS thread in the real sub.

J_Incognito · 2016-12-19T22:57:07+00:00

WWCD - what would Chad do?

Would Chad not slap his girl's ass if he wanted to? Would Chad put up with her shit? Would Chad give a fuck what she thinks of his actions or opinions? Would Chad let her influence him in anyway? Would Chad accept frumpy pajamas and starfish sex? Would Chad shy away from saying he wants a BJ? Would Chad stare at other women; Would Chad talk to other women? Would Chad pursue his interests, masculine hobbies, lifting, and try to better himself?

One month for every year. Start now.

logger1234 · 2016-12-19T23:10:46+00:00

"STFU. Literally and completely. I plan to say virtually nothing to my wife. Logistics will be kept to a sentence. I will try to communicate as much as I can without words - body language, smiles, etc."

Why? If you are a low-value man, well, at least you were providing beta comfort. Take that away before you have turned into a high-value man and instead of fearing your loss she'll want you gone.

What you are describing is something called "Monk Mode" in the literature, typically for 2-3 weeks. I'm not seeing a super call for it here. (RedMountainPill puts it well " the silent treatment never works on a woman who already hates you." - besides, the silent treatment is FEMININE, and we are going for EXTREME MASCULINITY.)

Title	My 30 day plan
Author	prarrott
Upvotes	1
Comments	39
Date	December 19, 2016 7:36 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5j8eda/my_30_day_plan/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/my-30-day-plan.206753 https://theredarchive.com/post/206753

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