Anger and no interest in initiating

Marcus_Aurtrillius · 2018-01-12T23:35:01+00:00

Two months ago, you said:

Also, if any of you catch me hamstering again, point me to this post, and kick my ass twice as hard.

Here you go. I'll step aside and let the ass kicking commence...

ImSteveMcQueen · 2018-01-13T03:34:22+00:00

3 months ago, u/man_in_the_world gave you the answer to why you were fucking up then, and it continues to answer why you're fucking up now.

I'll even link it.

You're doing it wrong.

How do I know that? Because if you were really MRPing for a year, you'd be a completely different man than the angry manchild living in wifeys' frame. Plus, you'd be at the top of the dread ladder, and would absolutely know if you should cut the cord or not.

Halfassing everything, withdrawing from the relationship, being a butthurt fuck.

Wondering why your wife won't just fall down and worship the ground you walk on. You're a miserable morose moody motherfucker. You think that'll change even if you lose the spouse/marriage? You still have to live in that skin you're wearing, better make sure you've altered it to your own liking.

Your last OYS was in fucking August, and your DL was 180. Any progress?

Whole ass yourself for a while... which is what you should have done a year ago.

Sucked a year of your life away

So now,

Back to the beginning

Rian_Stone · 2018-01-14T00:50:09+00:00

I'll bet a 10 minute face to face conversation would show how obvious you've bullshitting yourself.

Case in point. One year,

- 20 lbs
20k words writing, 40k that I've got privately
got of SSRIs, stopped drinking
bought and sold houses, moved to different province withinn45 days
left military
2 year fuck you fund saved
flirted with everything that walked and was hot
main event, decision to stick it out with her.

Butthurt was the furthest thing from my mind. I was too busy to be angry. I was almost smug when my ol lady was bawling about me being a narcissistic asshole, and and how she couldn't take it anymore.

And I'm by no means the quintessential man. I'm the fucking baseline here.

Let me ask, do you have a shopping list of shit you're sorted out in that year?

Senor_Martillo · 2018-01-13T16:06:47+00:00

Fuck man, I was about to write almost the same post, then logged in and saw you wrote it for me. So thanks for taking the ass beating I would have gotten instead. I'll step in here and take a few licks of my own.

It's hard as hell to project positivity and be the "fun alpha" everyone talks about when you're busting your ass at the gym, work, around the house, with the kids....and getting zero recognition for it. I am right there with you. DL5 or so, by the book, and ain't shit changed.

We're told to be OI - but everyone wants positive outcomes.

We're told to DGAF - but if we truly didn't give a shit we wouldn't be here. We'd just bounce and go fuck tinder sluts.

I lost my OI last night. Took the fam out for a nice dinner, wife was fun and flirty, everything was coming up aces. I get the kids into bed early Then she decides to stay up and finger fuck her phone. Falls asleep on the couch. I go to bed, butt hurt. She comes in an hour later asking what's wrong, and true to form, I can't escape the conversation cuz I'm in bed. I go mini-Rambo and end up having to discuss our shitty sex life and her feelings for two hours. I did my best to fog and deflect, but my fate was sealed. Now I have to go see a counselor with her.

TLDR: you gotta keep the anger and butt hurt out of the conversation or it WILL end up in a discussion of said feelings, in which you will lose. Verbal battle with a woman is a no-win situation. Take me as a cautionary tale.

Sepean · 2018-01-12T23:43:23+00:00

A guess - you think your SMV is climbing and you feel you’re not getting what you’re worth from her, or you’re just bitter at how she used to treat you. Either way it is probably subconsciously, your post reeks of built up resentment and attachment issues.

Likely some part of your frame is missing so to her your SMV isn’t that high. Have you played dread? That gives you a fix on your actual SMV and aligns your frame with it due to abundance mentality. And your wife will respond to a change in your frame.

screechhater · 2018-01-13T02:03:15+00:00

What’s wrong ? Boo boo take off the wife goggles, or are you posted at yourself for being such a drunk albino some bitch ?

Whatever it is get over it and your ego, so you can practice on her and see if can drop the panties again.

snatch_haggis · 2018-01-13T02:07:51+00:00

Okay, went through and read some of your past posts and comments, OP.

Honestly my read is that your wife doesn't like you very much, and you don't like her either. Unless you've just been completely and wildly off the mark the entire time in literally everything you've done for a year, or you're omitting some really important details, I think it's as simple as that.

You tried a trial separation, but it was so short (3 days) as to not even qualify as a separation. I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I don't see any way this goes other than at the very least a longer, true separation.

Honestly, I think you both are wildly unhappy, with yourselves and with each other, and I can't imagine your kids aren't fucking miserable too.

That's a helluva way to live and I really hope for all of your sakes, you all find a new direction to go that gives everyone a shot at a better, more joyous life.

BluepillProfessor · 2018-01-13T17:38:43+00:00

I am spending a lot of time trying to work out where its coming from

Where could an emotional acknowledgement be hiding?

Look inside Padawan, there you will find all your answers.

Hint: It is VERY common to get mad at yourself because you realize that your wife's behavior is YOUR fault because of the way you interacted with her.

snatch_haggis · 2018-01-12T23:12:32+00:00

All I'm hearing are your feels... What behaviors are making you angry? Without understanding that, all we can do is guess at the cause.

BostonBrakeJob · 2018-01-12T23:37:32+00:00

Quit bullshitting yourself, you know where it's coming from. You probably know [whatever it is] "shouldn't" be pissing you off, but ignorance isn't the answer.

Cough up the details...

RuleZeroDAD · 2018-01-12T23:42:02+00:00

Its your choice whether to give a gift or not. Stop reacting to your wifes moves, and be how you want to be. You are either a man that likes to give gifts (expecting nothing in return), or some one who doesn't believe in gifts.

Someone wrote what was quoted. Do you think providing value and bringing the good feelz applies to everyone but you? Stop LARPING the part of a fun, masculine husband. You sound about as entertaining as a root canal.

You either like your wife, or you don't. Shit or get off the pot.

BobbyPeru · 2018-01-12T23:46:41+00:00

STFU and lift heavy stuff

rocknrollchuck · 2018-01-13T00:18:56+00:00

You're angry at her, but she's a reflection of you. So you're angry at yourself.

Also(from your post 6 months ago):

I have been working my ass off for the past 6 months, and feel little change in my marriage

Covert contract - is this still where you are? Or have you buried it down deep so you can say you don't know where the anger is coming from? I think you know...

red-sfpplus · 2018-01-13T01:48:52+00:00

Dont initiate.

Hate fuck her a few times.

There is a difference and the outcome and if you are successful will give you a reality check in where your progress and SMV really are.

If you succeed in pile driving her, congrats keep it up and let go of some of the anger.

If you fail, check the ego and check it hard. Double down the work ethic.

bogeyd6 · 2018-01-13T02:58:21+00:00

You put in a half assed effort, but I will pass along a gem to you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/7do3z3/she_doesnt_deserve_the_new_me/

Reach180 · 2018-01-13T12:46:16+00:00

If you're mad about something, figure out why it makes you mad rather than wondering why they keep doing this thing that pisses you off.

It's you. Get control of your emotions. Look at yourself. If yourself is all you control, then you need to become a master of it.

Title	Anger and no interest in initiating
Author	223552
Upvotes	0
Comments	52
Date	January 12, 2018 11:06 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7q0j4q/anger_and_no_interest_in_initiating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/anger-and-no-interest-in-initiating.204958 https://theredarchive.com/post/204958

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