What am I doing wrong on dates?

secret_barber · 2015-02-09T01:14:57+00:00

You sound nice.

Raidicus · 2015-02-09T01:32:28+00:00

You're getting the "wow he's a great guy" treatment.

It's vaguely related to friendzone, except that you're attractive.

Which is why I tell ugly dudes if they think it's their looks holding them back they have another thing coming...

FrameWalker · 2015-02-09T01:19:37+00:00

On dates, I usually talk with girls about our passions, dreams, occupation, Family, and I connect with them on a lot of things.

I think this is too much for a first date. I keep my first dates to ~1 hour and I keep it really light. A little bit of small talk to learn about things. I do some early frame announcement - "I don't like the idea of marriage, I'm not looking for anything too serious" and I do escalate the kino but very gently. Leg pressing on leg under the table, pushing them. I don't handhold, and I don't kiss on the first date unless we're at my place or their's.

Sounds like you've got the pull - the buildup of comfort or rapport down. Now work on the push - the cocky tease, the one liners that get them to say "you're funny" or "oh my god did you just say that?" with practice they get easier. If you can alternate the pull and push in rapid succession you're in. Not only is the girl massively attracted to you because you're "such an asshole", but she feels comfortable enough to show you her most intimate bodyparts.

Date 2/3 is where this push/pull can really develop. Date 1 should be very light and fun. You're better of neutral and mysterious, let your height and body do the work for you.

synaesthetic · 2015-02-09T11:17:00+00:00

Living at home really stifled my relationship success. Once I moved out and had my own place things went much better. That might help your situation as well if you can make it happen eventually.

stickfiguresk · 2015-02-09T06:34:52+00:00

I used to have the same issue. Eventually I realized 95% of pre-wall women coast through dates with the "just let it happen" mentality. This gets closer to 50% for women that are past the wall.

One: Always be closing. Escalate. She WILL NOT escalate because women's operating system is set to: he's going to treat me as an object.

Two: Have a bed that you two can land in and push for it. The relationship can only grow into whatever setting you put it in. Can't get drunk or get naked where you're at? Don't have enough time to have an after party? Guess how it's going to go. Setting is vital.

From now on, you will see the bitch coasting through the date and how the environment enables the evening to tank. If you just want her to show up for the 2nd date, then make the night different: no coasting allowed.

There's a story about David Lee Roth. When he'd bring home women, he'd offer to show them his platinum/gold records hanging on his wall. Each one would lead closer and closer to his bedroom. Then, after the last one, "and here's my jacuzzi! Care for a dip?" Which was right next to his bed.

thenarrrowpath · 2015-02-09T23:47:08+00:00

At the end of the date, I go in for a kiss, and I am never rejected.

Good fucking man! Always go for the kiss.

Just keep going at it. Try more kinoing. Try teasing more. Try getting a BJ in your car or on the street. Try bringing them back to your parents place or going to theres. You just have to experiment a little. Girls in their early 20s have the attention span of a moth. Sex is really the only way to keep that attention unfortunately.

alreadyredschool · 2015-02-09T09:37:59+00:00

Action dates? Have fun together and talk less. Create attraction through action.

8675309c · 2015-02-09T17:49:34+00:00

there was a thread in TRP that covered this. a (tinder) woman would rather date an asshole than a nice guy. rejection from an asshole is shallow. rejection from a nice guy is much deeper because it says her personality sucks

be an asshole

Title	What am I doing wrong on dates?
Author	giffengoods
Upvotes	29
Comments	30
Date	February 9, 2015 12:29 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2v8w5s/what_am_i_doing_wrong_on_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-am-i-doing-wrong-on-dates.146023 https://theredarchive.com/post/146023

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