Advice for first date ever!

Henriqueykg · 2018-05-09T13:02:49+00:00

In my opinion you shouldnt try to kiss her at the last moment of the date, the tension will be building up and she will feel kinda overwhelmed as time goes by. It is quite certain that she wants to make out with you, so dont be afraid to man up and go for a kiss when you feel like doing it. Its your first date, try having fun and im sure it will be a sucessful date! Ignore the awkward feeling if it eventually pops up, when that happens I relax thinking that we are all humans just trying to have some nice time together. Good luck dude!

prpfl · 2018-05-09T13:27:05+00:00

Bro the one thing I learned through trial and error: When you're not sure if it's the moment to kiss her, it's the moment to kiss her. The moment of doubt, increased heartbeat, etc. That's a moment. Don't let it pass by by analyzing it instead of living it. If you wonder based on how you feel if this is 'the' moment, it's the moment. Don't wait until the end.

Also: if it doesn't work out the way you want it to, don't sweat it. Learn from it. You say that you're 22 and that it's a "sad thing" but it's actually a great thing. You have so many more years to try, win, learn, try, fail, learn, try, etc.

You'll get there man. Don't overanalyze. Be you, and believe that she's lucky to go on a date with you. If you don't believe that yourself you're not going to be able to sell it to her either my man.

Keep us posted and most importantly: have fun! Seriously. That's the most important advice in this whole text: have fun. She'll join you.

NeverLace · 2018-05-09T12:54:12+00:00

Dont pay for her
Assume attraction
Be outcome independent
Try to escalate to atleast a kiss
Have fun
If you're having trouble talking, ask her questions and let her to the talking.
Don't date co-workers

Also good job on statementing the date and then not chatting before the date.

_playswithsquirrels_ · 2018-05-09T17:52:01+00:00

Just leave it at drinks, it's far less commitment for both parties. You guys will naturally get hungry after drinking, and if the date goes well, you can transition to dinner then.

Do not go in "planning" to kiss her. Read the mood, read her body language, and if it feels right, go for the kiss. Getting a kiss is not a measure for success, connecting and building rapport is. I recently went on a few dates with a girl -- didn't get a kiss the first two dates -- got laid on the third.

Using texting as just a medium for meeting up is fine. If you haven't had much rapport yet, she might feel uncomfortable having text conversations. I normally save any conversational texting for after at least the first date, when I have more to go off of.

Buddahkaii · 2018-05-09T14:18:47+00:00

Bro, 22 is a good. I went on. Few dates but didn't get paid till I was 22-23. Now it's not a problem haha.

I used to overthink a lot. Your best bet is to be yourself, enjoy the interaction and just feel each other out. If it works it's great if not move on. Don't put too much pressure on yourself with just one girl.

Also, drinks is a good idea in a nice place where. You can talk but also have some good background music, atmosphere and a decore to talk bout ( although the last. One not necessary).

If things go smoothly and you sense she's not in a hurry move( no plans), have a plan B and C for foods/fun to offer her. If she's into you she'll follow !

As others have said, if you are wondering if it's time to kiss her. Kiss her.

Best of luck !!

idkman93 · 2018-05-09T12:51:02+00:00

From an experienced person:

You sound like me when I was 16 (which you may be)

I became successful with women when I stopped running scenarios in my head. This post looks like a giant scenario type of thing

caroinee · 2018-05-09T15:06:23+00:00

People say don’t ask fish how to fish but I would just like to share what I think if it helps you anyhow:

• 30 minute reply: this could mean she is getting advice from other girl friends, considering that she was very excited at first, but trying to “cool down”; or she’s just busy too. Either way, she still responds so that’s a good sign.

• Coffee date into dinner date: I can’t really promise if it’s a good idea. Usually first date are ideally something light and casual where people can have fun but can exit quickly (if they need to) without feeling held to “suffer” through dinner. If the date goes well, she will let you know she doesn’t want it to stop yet.

• Advice on first date: If possible, sit adjacent to each other, not opposite, so both of you don’t feel obligated to look at each other all the time and keep the conversation going. It can get awkward when no one is saying anything. Therefore, sitting adjacently allows both to break from the conversation, look around, and even talk about anything comes to mind when they see something interesting.

• Kiss on first date: Ideally to show interest/ attraction. Like one of the comments say, go for it when you feel it - the tension between the two. However, initial touch is needed, like slightly touch her, depends on context, you act accordingly, THEN you can develop more into a kiss.

• Some comment says don’t pay for her; I can’t speak for all but I would personally assume it’s more of a hangout, especially the first date. If it’s coffee, maybe she can pay for her own; but if it’s something like ice-creams then it would be cool for you to pay. However, if she doesn’t contribute in later dates then it’s kind of a problem.

Keep us updated!

Best,

doughbo32 · 2018-05-09T12:43:56+00:00

You said it yourself, you're a spontaneous person. Start with drinks, if the vibes are right suggest going somewhere to get some food.

Henriqueykg · 2018-05-09T13:03:06+00:00

In my opinion you shouldnt try to kiss her at the last moment of the date, the tension will be building up and she will feel kinda overwhelmed as time goes by. It is quite certain that she wants to make out with you, so dont be afraid to man up and go for a kiss when you feel like doing it. Its your first date, try having fun and im sure it will be a sucessful date! Ignore the awkward feeling if it eventually pops up, when that happens I relax thinking that we are all humans just trying to have some nice time together. Good luck dude!

2018-05-09T18:15:26+00:00

Ok a few things:

When you get drinks, leave it at drinks. I’ve had first dates that start great but drag on too long. Also, you might seem clingy or desperate if you try to keep the date going. That’s me speaking from experience lol

Frankly, I say definitely kiss her. Worst case scenario, she rejects you? Whatever, either try again later or never see her again. Honestly just kiss her whenever. A lot of the time I actually leave it till the end if I can’t tell how she’s feeling. Typically I’m about to go my separate way and then I say “wait” grab her hand and lean in. If she’s into it, she’ll kiss you and if she’s not, she’ll turn her head and let you kiss her on the cheek, or go for a hug or something. And whichever happens, you’ll know exactly how she feels about you. Trust your gut here.

Don’t overthink the texting. If you want to make plans, text her. If you see something that makes a good inside joke between you two, send it. You don’t need to force a text convo. That’ll give you less to talk about during the actual date. It doesn’t matter if she took extra long to answer, maybe she didn’t want to seem over eager, maybe she was in the shower, whatev.

My main rule for texting is never send more than two unanswered texts. Say you’re talking for a while and the convo stops. That doesn’t count. But if it goes 1) wanna go out then; 2, the next day//later on) hey just wanted to see if you’re interested I doing something; and she doesn’t answer either, drop it. It’s probably over, and you don’t want to start inadvertently harassing her.

canarywocoalmine · 2018-05-09T22:41:53+00:00

1st: Scope out the place you are going. You want to sit next to her, not across from her, it allows touching much more easily. 2nd: Initially, don't be worrying about the kiss, but worry about creating reasons to touch, innocently at first, say something that makes a point and touch her arm, say something funny and if she laughs, touch her. Rotate your body so your legs touch, slowly get into her space. When you first meet, I'd recommend giving her a hug. If you can find a reason to touch her hand, do it, for instance, does she have really nice or interesting fingernails, say "let me see your hands", take them in yours and tell her she has nice nails. 3. Make eye contact slightly longer than it feels like you should. Let her look away first. 4. Starting at 5:00 is actually good. Won't be busy yet. After a drink or two, if things are going well, find a place to eat. Don't eat there, better off moving locations. Same rule though, try to sit next to her. Most restaurants will serve at the bar. Sharing appetizers is always fun. You can even try feeding her. (FYI, scope out the restaurant in advance as well and look at logistics, swivel barstools are great, you naturally end up swinging them into each other.) 5. BTW, while moving locations, try opening your arm so she can put her arm through it. It's less intrusive than hand holding. You can also transition from it to holding her hand. At the restaurant, you can also put your hand on the lower part of her back and guide her into the restaurant. 6. One thing to try if you start touching her a lot is to pull back a little, lean back, stop touching, see if she re-initiates touch. If she's doing that, kissing her is going to be pretty easy. 7. If at any time you go a bit too far (this also helps if you are moving slow, i.e. from forearm to upper arm to hands, to legs, to thighs to neck), do not apologize or really comment on it. I.e. if you touch her and she recoils, just go back to what you were doing last and give her more time to get comfortable with you.

Most importantly dude, consider it all an experiment. You're just learning right now, women respond very similarly, only the timing really varies. What you learn here will be usable later.

And stop worrying about being 22. I'm 49, just figuring this stuff out now, but fortunately dating women in their early 30s :-). This is a skill and just keep practicing and have fun for gods sake, it's great to be a man!

geosmeo23 · 2018-05-09T15:36:52+00:00

Don't worry about dinner. Use it as a way to get out of the date if it's not going well, she will probably do the same... " I need to go home to eat dinner". Although I would have a snack before so that you don't get too hungry. Who knows, if you really click, maybe you'll go for dinner. That's the kinda fun thing that happens on dates.

Yes it's better to connect in person. Don't worry about messaging.

Just relax. Enjoy yourself. Your just meeting s person. She will also be nervous. Just try to meet her and connect with her. Youve met loads of people in your life so far. Just do that

GuyFromDaStore · 2018-05-09T23:45:28+00:00

Don't overthink it, and don't feel bad if the date didn't go well, its your first date ever and first dates rarely go well. My best 1st date ended with drunken sex but I had known her for years so the sexual tension had been building for a long time.

coldbrew18 · 2018-05-10T07:03:58+00:00

Don’t worry about a kiss. Go with the flow. If it flows to a kiss. Do it.

If you start to fell awkward, be honest with her. She’ll probably think it’s endearing.

Most importantly, listen to her.

Luffydude · 2018-05-09T12:56:30+00:00

ohhhh boy

Definitely watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2aS5z6qsLc

2018-05-09T13:12:43+00:00

cook dinner together

Title	Advice for first date ever!
Author	liftisagift
Upvotes	85
Comments	51
Date	May 9, 2018 12:14 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8i5h9r/advice_for_first_date_ever/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/advice-for-first-date-ever.1446298 https://theredarchive.com/post/1446298

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