Had an incredibly weird date today:

(and a BIG realization:)

Didn’t like the girl’s attitude from the beginning. Didn’t even like the texting.

Gave her the benefit of a doubt though. And kept doing it.

Took her to an awesome date and gave her the experience of not only going to sick secret places and doing cool things, but also completely opening up and being 100% real and vulnerable.

As I was doing it I knew that it was not being appreciated. This girl thought she was hot shit and was completely ungrateful.

Eventually took her home. Didn’t make a pass at her, made her feel completely comfortable.

She was trying to show me her model portfolio, telling me about how she’s interested in sexology and what not.

I was completely unreactive. Didn’t wanna see her naked pictures. Couldn’t care less.

At the end we were talking about sex and I lightly pulled her hair. That’s when she got up, said she has to leave and walked out the door after having spent a couple hours at my place.

I gave her validation and the game was over. Duh.

Look, maybe I’m a sore loser, but honestly, it’s ok that nothing happened between us. She is just not gonna experience a couple of months of incredible sex and whatever else was gonna happen between us. That’s ok.

I know there’s so many lessons here but here’s the biggest one for me:

There were times I was aware that I wasn’t having fun in the company of this girl. She was pompous, ungrateful and very self-involved.

I felt like I wasn’t having a good time and DID NOT STOP IT RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

That was my mistake. My time is valuable and yes, I “persisted”, but ultimately, I should have recognized when I wasn’t having fun and snipped it right there.

I betrayed myself. I made myself not have fun. When you betray yourself, you don’t get the girl.

Catch the vibe. @ alex.vmnt