Looks matter..

2021-11-29T04:06:27+00:00

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Known_Guarantee4493 · 2021-11-29T05:17:46+00:00

Pay attention to your thoughts my friend.

You want to meet and engage with women and have fun but here’s what’s playing in your head:

“My looks are holding me back.”

“I’m average looking.”

“How can I possibly compete with people who are hotter than me?”

You are quite busy repeatedly judging yourself, making predictions, and comparing yourself to others so it’s no wonder you’re struggling with women! There’s no room in your mind to really see them and engage with them with your authentic presence and personality.

Are these thoughts true? Well… does that matter? What really matters is whether or not the thoughts help you. Does thinking about those things help you to engage with women you find attractive? If not, notice the thoughts and let them go. Let them float away. Detach from them. Then remember rule #1 of the confidence game: the actions of confidence come first, the feelings of confidence come later.

Approach the girls you’re interested in, don’t attach to thoughts about your looks, just be present with her and be authentic. Your FULL presence and true authenticity is what girls find attractive, especially because it’s rare. But you can give that rare and valuable gift. Just pay less attention to your inner self-judgments and more attention to her.

Ambitious-Joke9252 · 2021-11-29T17:29:06+00:00

Personality will win over people. Develop that and you should be golden.

2021-11-29T02:37:13+00:00

Love yourself, accept who you are, have high morals and strong principles. Make these things your Armour and THAT is what the world will see

ManagerIllustrious72 · 2021-11-29T16:07:42+00:00

Inner game and conversational skills matter the most. Learn how to speak in a way that is natural but allows for open ended conversation (don't rely on questions for conversation. Do you talk to long-time friends like that?)

Tashy1994 · 2021-11-29T18:54:21+00:00

Confidence matters. Looks only get your foot in the door. With women anyway. Men, yeah looks matter a lot unless the guy is in love

PiratesFan1429 · 2021-11-29T00:31:41+00:00

It's your attitude that's unattractive

Snoo_96502 · 2021-11-29T17:09:58+00:00

Us older and hopefully wiser ladies (35/F) don't go for the attractive guys anymore because we've learned that these guys tend to be cheaters, jerks, selfish pricks, or insert another undesirable trait here.

If you take care of yourself physically and emotionally and are secure in who you are as a person then that is more attractive to me than any "good looking" dude with a 6-figure salary. Another mistake people make is assuming that just because a guy is a father that means he will automatically be a good husband. Absolutely not true, those things do not correlate together.

uglypedro · 2021-11-29T14:08:30+00:00

So not true. Actually, the exact opposite is true. A so's looks grow on you over time. True, a real good looking guy can get a date easier with a girl he hardly knows, but say it's a coworker and the guy is a 6 or7, as you get to know the guy, and like his personality, his looks improve.

lateahalligator · 2021-11-29T16:03:23+00:00

I'm very average looking as well and have had good success with women. Things I've done is make sure my body is attractive. I'm not a gym rat but I make sure to be fit. It looks good and gives me more confidence. I dress well. In my teens I went clothes shipping with girls that were friends and was surprised as to advice they gave me on what to buy. That has carried forward throughout my life. I think most important though is wit and mental game. Sharp wit, boldness, and humor has gone a long way.

Schuhsuppe · 2021-11-29T19:50:41+00:00

What people dont realise is that there are good average and not so pretty people on both ends. You may be ugly but that does not mean there are NO others to find.

And looking ugly can be treated. Work on your weight, get some good clothes and get yourself a good haircut and many people will look decent at least!

I_am_Jaguar · 2021-11-29T22:02:50+00:00

Everything just revolves around confidence. I have been in a room where sometimes I was the hottest and sometimes I was not and I live by the norm of no competition. Looks are just a basic thing but if you don’t offer anything apart from looks then it becomes difficult. I believe in impressing someone with my mind not by looks. Don’t forge something that doesn’t come naturally. We all have to accept our limitations in life. A man is incomplete one or the other way.

LoneWolfRyan · 2021-11-29T07:04:21+00:00

Looks aren’t as important as hygiene and confidence/mentality

Groundbreaking_Cup95 · 2021-11-29T07:01:20+00:00

I’m. Very attractive dude. Over heard my mates in a pub talking about when as I was talking to someone else at the table, they said I’m probably a 9/10. I get dates with girls and girls give me attention. But when I go on the date, I flop. Girls have no sexual interest in the person that I display to them. It’s not so much looks, but how you take care of yourself and the mindset this conveys to a woman. I have been confident before in life and I got laid a quite a bit. But I’m going through an unconfident patch.

Think of your mindset producing your mood, which is a scorecard. Happiness/confidence is the metric which you are scored. The happier you are, the more you will convey that vibe, the higher you will score socially (I.e. the more you are “doing something right”) and the more pussy you will get. In an era of mediocrity, people with any at all self discipline are more attractive on average because so many people are depressed and lost.

Stop being a fucking victim. Unattractive men get pussy just as much as attractive men, if they use their strengths to their advantage. Just look up unattractive men that married hot women. Why do I mention this? The value of looks are a social construct. What do they really add to this world? They give us a dopamine rush when we look at. Chemicals in your brain. That’s it. Many things in life are the same. This isn’t an area of helplessness I.e. you are a victim to the views of others that are based on intangible realities that are out of your control. It is the opposite: your ability to create value for yourself, that you recognise, will lead to you conveying this regardless of the values girls hold. They will see your beaming happy face and subconsciously think “wow that dude must be doing something right, he’s so happy and I want to be around him. I want to meet him”.

The fact you re unhappy shines through. You are unhappy because you are ugly and you think it matters. Does it matter? Stop telling yourself it does just because society thinks so. Make up your own mind, value your own opinions over the opinions of others, and other people will respect you for it, or might even change their mind.

Value is largely socially constructed. This is why unattractive men get laid.

dark_helmt8 · 2021-11-29T04:08:47+00:00

For guys, its muscles and money. For girls, boob job

pearlofwine · 2021-11-29T10:55:39+00:00

Being physically attractive will get you a foot in the door but it won’t get you a quality person. What I mean is that a person has to attract a person’s attention physically first of all f( unless it’s purely a business transaction ie sex worker), and afterwards other things come into play. If you’re a man then a woman will in the majority of cases want to see other things on top of the initial physical attractiveness. They’re looking for self confidence ( not to be confused with cocky alpha male stereotypes), be self assured, be friendly, natural and you send out positive vibes. Women are more intuitive compared with men. They can tell ( call it a feminine sixth sense) if a man is pretending to be someone he’s not. That doesn’t inspire confidence in him. He can’t be trusted and therefore the woman won’t feel safe and comfortable enough to want to let down her natural barriers ( since every woman knows that men are biologically programmed to find a woman physically ie sexually attractive). There is more at risk for a woman than a man that’s why a woman is looking for other things in potential partner. She wants to see your value.. not in monetary terms but in what you can bring to the table to make her life better. Positive attitude to look, fun to be with, interesting character/personality, potential ( important), can he evolve or develop himself in anyway, does he show strength of character ( resilience, determination), what are his values? Does he have a purpose in life ( women like a man who shows he uses his soft skills not just making tons of money by being a so called alpha male). How does he react with other people? Does he help people? I’ve met several partners because I volunteer for a homeless charity and one that helps abused women/ ex sex workers. Is he generous and not just with money? Does he look after himself? Most women don’t go for bodybuilders. They want a man who does sport, eats healthy and isn’t afraid to show his imperfections and vulnerability to them.

MK2718 · 2021-11-29T16:53:41+00:00

Become an Attractive High Value Man (w/o Good Looks, Money, or Fame)

gillmanblacklagooner · 2021-11-29T15:40:29+00:00

Wow! Let's take a step back: Long game they are still as important as the first date. Even more! You do want to maintain yourself sharp and fresh. Keep improving your look, your trim, your healthy habits. This is selfcare, this is self respect. We all talk about first impressions... but we certainly know someone who got sloppy and "gave up himself" after his relationshiop. Keep hitting the gym, keep maintaining your good-looking, keep the healthy habits. Again: this is selfcare, this is self respect.

2nd point: Your body deserves attention. Take care of your body being picky with whatever you consume: food, drinks, information...You don't need to be a Men's Health cover or a fitness/bodybuilder, but do some exercises. Even home workouts can be tricky and improve your posture... which lead us to the next point...

3rd: Communication. Get connected with yourself: what do you truly wants? Who do you wanna be? Work for it. You words and body language says a lot about you. You don't need to be the funniest guy in the table to be charming. Stay true to yourself.

4th: Don't push any trend or fashion style over yourself. Find your style and dress with the occasions. Example: you can put your rock'n'roll style at a bar and other places without looking straight from VMA, got it?

Extra: Born in a first world country is definitely not a sign of lucky to A LOT of people there... beautiful or ugly... you better trust me.

annanas____ · 2021-11-29T16:01:05+00:00

Stay within your league. I agree with most people here, confidence is super attractive and intelligence and humor matter too but if I think a person is unattractive I’m never gonna hook up with them. But from my experience people are more likely to accept flaws if they are flawed themselves. So if you’re a 5 try to go for other 5s, not 10s.

2021-11-29T16:54:56+00:00

If you don’t have the looks, maximize your status in some area, don’t listen to the attitude/personality BS

SnooDingos7816 · 2021-11-29T17:24:29+00:00

Yes. Once you acknowledge this you’re on the right path and anyone who tell you the don’t matter at all is lying. Losing weight, building muscle are all good but eventually things such as height, personality, IQ, and Financial Smartness all seem to be the deciding factors. Oh and don’t forget age

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-11-30T06:49:46+00:00

Looks don't matter.

This doesn't mean that you shouldn't take care of yourself or make an effort to not look like a slob (you should do that for yourself). It does mean that looks don't stop you from meeting someone. Your game does.

I have a friend that looks like Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket. He's obese, keeps a shaved head, wears ugly glasses. The man still gets crazy hot women because he has game. He knows how to make women feel.

I'm not the best looking guy in the world myself, but I have so much sex that I haven't jerked off in months. I have to take Cialis to keep up with the women in my life.

Knowing how to make women feel safe, connected, lustful and in love are possible no matter how you look. If you can't do that, it doesn't matter how good looking you are. You won't get laid.

Look at it this way; have you ever seen Southland Tales? The movie is pretty shitty but it showed Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as an insecure, unconfident dufus. He was not even remotely attractive in those scenes. Without his usual confidence that his other movie roles had, all the muscles and chiseled jaw line couldn't do shit for him.

Work on your game. Know how to make women feel and you'll do well.

sunkized · 2021-11-29T07:56:54+00:00

Take breaks. Drugs. It's harder in certain areas depending on your race too.

Ducharbaine · 2021-11-29T18:35:04+00:00

Be Attractive
Don't be unattractive

Sad fact is ugly and skinny beats average, but fat.

GCaasi · 2021-11-29T08:49:04+00:00

I belive people treat you as they percieve you. Therefore it's very important to have good personal hygiene, dress propperly and have some respect for your image as a whole. To be honest, it's also a big part of becoming a man. The way you take care of yourself reflects how you will take care of others. And this simple things will take even the least attractive person in the world, to become at least a 5/10

2021-11-29T12:56:40+00:00

I see that many people say "go to the gym" and bla bla

Start with the basics - have longer hairs, go to the barber and get a nice haircut regularly. Buy some clothes, nothing too fancy, some jeans, black pants, white and black t-shirts, shirts and here you look like a new person. If you are overweight, get a little more thin, move a little more, go for 10k steps everyday. Don't lift weights, If you don't like it. Sbam, if you are not deformed, you will look like top 20%

rewinder909 · 2021-11-29T14:45:02+00:00

Not anyone can be good looking but everyone can be attractive. Go to the gym get fit, get clothes that fit You. These 2 will change your attractiveness in no other way possible. Have a minimum hygiene, shave, haircut, clean clothes, clean nails. Train your voice speak from the chest not from the nose, fix your posture with exercises. Put a deadline and do these you will see the difference. Of course age, looks and money matter but not as much as confidence in the long run. The more you're old the more they matter.

hotshot117 · 2021-11-29T21:15:44+00:00

Fully agreed

Not the sole thing that matters. But a HUGE one

2021-11-29T22:17:50+00:00

Being white is more important... good looking doesn’t have as much weight when you are black; trust me I know.

mikeymoon94303 · 2021-11-29T22:59:38+00:00

Step your game up show ur better

pearlofwine · 2021-11-29T23:03:52+00:00

Do you like girls with big tits? If so, imagine the perfect women with the perfect personality and body and face. Now imagine her but with a flat chest, would you say "ew I'm not dating her No way" that would be stupid right?

That's the same for a women who wouldn't date a guy who's perfect in every way except his face. If you have abs, a sense of humour, stand up for yourself , respect her. You won't have problems

2021-11-29T23:43:34+00:00

Beside the looks maxing gym appearance etc, just your aura and energy makes you good looking. If your personality, charm basically (seduction) skills are on point your looks sky rocket because you’ll be something entirely in the eyes of people. Look up ugly narcissists for example women still fall for them because it’s what they believe themselves to be true try i

Available_Session770 · 2021-11-30T00:22:16+00:00

Looks don’t matter to some people. I personally didn’t find my boyfriend attractive at all until I got to see his personality and him interact with dogs and babies. All of a sudden he was the best looking guy I’d ever seen haha and I mean he isn’t ugly but who you are matters so much more than what someone looks like. Looks change…personalities can be a little trickier to do so

spookydaddy666 · 2021-11-30T05:01:39+00:00

I lost 60 pounds over the course of about 3 years No matter how ‘confident’ I pretended to be losing the weight is what changed the women I could pull day and night. Especially in my face went from a double chin round face to a jawline and nice features. Just get to low enough body fat % where you can see your abs and then you’re lean enough.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-11-30T12:54:27+00:00

Please read the rules before posting. And also the Updated Rules post.

The whole looks matter/don't matter "debate" is over and done on this subreddit.

They matter and they don't. BOTH.

Now do you want to sit there and whine about the things you can't control? Because if so, this is the wrong sub.

This sub isn't here to rubber stamp a fixation on looks.

It's here to support people who want to focus on things that are very attainable, such as improvement in inner game, which can compensate for looks.

Title	Looks matter..
Author	pearlofwine
Upvotes	58
Comments	65
Date	November 29, 2021 12:29 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r4iqdb/looks_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/looks-matter.1271594 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271594

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