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43rdaccount Archive

View 6 posts and 525 comments by 43rdaccount on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

thanks for sharing that was great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 12:48 AM
2

what a sweet story!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/22 12:47 AM
30

:')
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/22 02:26 PM
25

it's more than an abstract cultural "stigma" that's the problem. there's all kinds of risks involved that are not cultural but inherent to the situation (violence, rape, STDs, PTSD...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/22 03:05 PM
194

It's embarrassing why is he admitting he's not a man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 02:21 AM
125

totally the right move!! Ive met the worst men who were accomplished academics on paper
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 02:20 AM
5

nooooooooooo </3 </3 </3 this was so sad. where are her girlfriends to protect her from this </3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 04:26 AM
10

I don’t care if you’ve been celibate for an eon there’s no way that you’re in pain for days from normal sex. 💯💯💯 this is the worst part. she didnt get nothing from this. panic attacks and her heart torn </3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/22 04:24 AM
15

FDS has a podcast! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-female-dating-strategy/id1558083287 I also like this podcast: Probably Cancelled https://probablycancelledpod.libsyn.com/website
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 02:40 PM
5

Just DM'd the FDS twitter 🤞🤞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 03:40 PM
9

There's definitely Marxism/socialism only episodes, but from the podcast description: "A revolutionary feminist podcast where we seek to fill the voids left by mainstream liberal feminism. " !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 03:30 PM
2

Maybe the host of Probably Cancelled would be a good guest for Female Political Strategy We should make it happen! Does anyone know how to recommend her to Reaux Lilith and Elle?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 03:29 PM
27

in any of the cases though it would happen out of his own initiative IMO it's inevitable for the inequality to bubble up into his conscious intentions. Not the exact same situation as you, but the last 2 men ive been with have both lost weight after i left them. The most recent one especially lost 50lbs in a few months and looks completely different now. I never told him to, it was just obvious, I exercise regularly, watch my alcohol intake, etc. Unfortunately the relationship went more toward t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 10:43 PM
47

When people are in a relationship I personally think it's inevitable for certain things to change in each person, be it big or small habits. You can learn something negative just as much as you gain a positive change (e.g. some relationships make women have lower self esteem, less expressive and confident) If a person who is seriously into you is dating you and sees how much you value something (like fitness and looking good) imo they would pick up the skills/habits you value. I feel like especi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 10:37 PM
13

The fall of the Soviet Union brought mass privatization of all parts of the economy of the former USSR states. People had education, food, healthcare, job and pension guarantees that all vanished from one day to the next. That with the massive inflation caused the most horrible economic crisis that lasted throughout the 90's. Mortality increased, infant deaths, suicides, unemployment, theft, violence... The peoples of the former USSR went through the equivalent of a war in terms of deteriorating…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/22 09:10 PM
2

I'm in a very similar situation rn. I'm still not sure what to do, but what I've been doing is offering to have her come sleep over and stay with me for a weekend, to get away for a bit. I agree with the other commenter that the change will come from her -- and that will only happen once our friends see their own value and realize they deserve better. My friend and I have been meeting to apply to jobs together before her afternoon shifts. I think once she realizes she can get a new and much bett…
/r/askFDS27/02/22 02:13 AM
44

You’ll end up being his whole world, and he will prob smother you ^^^ 100% A good partner will have a similar sociability to yours. This guy not only has a different one, but he has a very unhealthy one. You should not need to teach your man to make friends and be friendly
/r/askFDS22/02/22 01:43 AM
1

omfggg 😂😂😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/22 06:58 PM
2

this sis uses porn in treatment for sex offenders 🤕🤕🤕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 07:55 PM
3

omg the man at 11:18 making a good point... and then when asked if we should consider censoring porn? No! Not all! 😭😭😭😭 so close!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 07:52 PM
6

incredibly based!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 07:49 PM
7

"[A law in Namibia defines prostitution as:] sexual acts for a consideration which is non-sexual" at 27:38 that's exactly it!!! so insightful great lecture thanks for sharing OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/22 07:22 PM
15

omgg your profile picture 😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 05:34 PM
38

ugh guilty of some of those but you're right and its time to do better <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/22 05:32 PM
31

💯💯🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/22 05:32 PM
3

omg I love Gabor Mate!! And his son's political journalism (The pushback with Aaron Mate)
/r/askFDS03/01/22 05:03 PM
18

it's so insidious!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 05:34 PM
86

uhh thats a no from me dog. not doing that Ever again dating means going on dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/21 05:31 PM
5

I agree and was not on OLD myself. Of course it's still possible to meet people more spontaneously, just like it was before dating apps
/r/askFDS05/12/21 02:43 AM
35

🙄🙄🙄 he needs to get over himself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 03:20 PM
2

imo its related to the commodification of sexuality and gayness. imagine the marketing intern in a presentation room in the HQ high rise pitching to the board members: LGBTQ opens up a whole new market! it's profitable for capitalism to have a group that distinguishes itself. if our way of life needs to be a certain way, then it can also create new needs, and new "solutions" to those needs. the idea of a gay "community" is pretty new, and not a necessary development imo. we dont have enough thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 04:26 AM
1

hmmm seems theres no harm to seeing this out for a couple months, while still sticking to your boundaries. I guess if you have worries about attachment style, really think about what your boundaries for that are: What would be indicators that he is AA/FA or that he is triggering your AP? What would it look like for the attachment styles not to match? If a problem or miscommunication is identified, how do you want the thing to be handled? The future will make you more secure in this, or reveal th…
/r/askFDS20/10/21 02:08 AM
1

one thing im wondering is: why isnt he looking forward to a night out with his wonderful gf after this stressful week of his? a nice dinner, relaxing evening.. why wouldnt that help him too? if not, why couldnt he communicate that? "im tired today could we stay in instead? i would love to relax at home with you and go out another time when i have more energy" idk its weird
/r/askFDS23/09/21 10:14 PM
4

mmm i mean i wont lie i do worry about who starts dating my friends and i want the best for them, so i do chat up new partners and be on lookout for red flags. but honestly i wouldnt ask my friends to vet someone that Im supposedly into. id be excited for them to meet, you should have a good feeling about introducing your partner to friends and family, it shouldnt be like a worry. it sounds like your friend has doubts about him? it doesnt sound like she is acting from her own will ... idk if tha…
/r/askFDS23/09/21 10:05 PM
5

imo it can be a good sign if a man imagines marrying his gf and voices that passionately, even early on. as long as they dont act on it too quick and stay rational wrt building up their lives (house, job, school, finances..), then all it means is that he is in love and that he is the type of man to want a marriage, want to meet the love of his life now/soon. i find it cute :-) the point is to stay serious with what is important in life, dont do things that let you fall for the usual traps women …
/r/askFDS23/09/21 09:53 PM
103

great point, same applies to class society: you cannot appeal to the moral good of the rich to help your people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 04:31 PM
2

ugh great question that i dont think has a general solution :-( the worst is when you keep a conversation for so long and it was a waste of time one thing that helps is mentioning this to your coworkers so they can interrupt a conversation that's going off topic e.g. by pretending they need you somewhere else
/r/askFDS09/07/21 04:20 PM
3

im a couple years out of college and ive made better friends now than during college. it sounds like you might just not make deep connections in college, which happens more than you think! it's kinda like high school, lots of people graduate without ever making genuine lasting friendships. personally, i found that my college had lots of rich superficial people and lots of gossip and drama, which just means it wasnt really a social environment that matched my growing up or the type of person im t…
/r/askFDS04/07/21 05:00 PM
12

omg how you just summarized my months of confusion in 3 lines
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 05:28 PM
16

wtf i swear they hate us and dont want anything to do with women.. wish theyd just leave us alone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 02:53 PM
5

mmmm maybe this is weird but a realization i had coming into the year was like "this is a year where i probably will not have a meaningful romantic/sexual relationship" just like in terms of probability and realizing thats not a goal at this stage of my life. im excited about all the other aspects of my life and work the result is that when a man is hitting on me im not thinking about how things might perfectly develop, i dont see neutral/goodish interactions as green flags, they are just empty …
/r/askFDS12/05/21 03:07 PM
2

hey i relate a lot. i dont think what you wrote is enough to say anything about your attachment style. unfortunately i feel like it's just part of living in a capitalist world where you dont really do meaningful work and dont have a solid community i know this doesnt help but i just wanted to say your post is very relatable <3
/r/askFDS27/04/21 10:38 PM
6

omgg love her just went through her tiktok. this made me lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:24 AM
6

♡♡♡♡♡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:22 PM
78

yes for sure its so transparent hes plotting to either appeal to court as a victim or, at the minimum, ruin her work trip
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:14 PM
155

lmao he's phrasing it as a kidnapping but he can literally just get the kid after his shift XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 10:04 PM
6

“don’t expect him to treat you like a queen if you’re not going to treat him like a king” omgg i hate when people say that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 09:54 PM
1

thanks for the advice <3 im trying to keep these things in mind, especially bc im paying for it myself. i feel like id probably be overthinking it with any other therapist too and should just focus on the things youre saying. a good thing about him is that so far he's appreciated my bullet list of objectives i emailed him. in my experience, other therapists are likely to want to limit any communication thats outside the sessions (which is fair i guess bc of the nature of the labor being paid by …
/r/askFDS04/04/21 05:52 PM
2

thank you <3
/r/askFDS04/04/21 05:35 PM
7

hey thanks for the link, and omg that quote sums it up so well. and thanks for your impression too. i cant tell if these thoughts are normal for someone starting therapy still... i know it will take time to build trust but yea im just getting bad vibes.
/r/askFDS04/04/21 04:31 AM
2

he is in his 30s probably. i am mid 20s. in the first session when i was sharing something about an ex being close to my age he interrupted to ask for my age. idk little things that i felt were rude. just bc it's therapy doesnt mean it's free for all invasion of privacy
/r/askFDS04/04/21 04:18 AM
6

i feel you, my ego is pretty vocal too lol i would say: 1) dont pit women against each other. she is a whole person, like you are a whole person, so what are you really saying with "she is an upgrade from me" ? 2) what else could have possibly happened? you found a good partner, your ex was likely to too (either he becomes less shitty and finds a good person/gets life together (good for him!) or he stays shitty and its still likely he will be with someone, we all know bad people who got rich, gr…
/r/askFDS04/04/21 03:41 AM
0

probably your new normal
/r/askFDS04/04/21 03:18 AM
8

</3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 03:27 AM
25

femicide is the top cause of death of pregnant women!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 03:24 AM
5

i greatly regret putting myself in these horrible disgusting situations. the only advice i have is to recognize that it wasnt your fault since at the time you didnt know what you know now. appreciate your growth and your current life, and i guess thank god it didnt continue or get worse
/r/askFDS01/04/21 06:56 PM
7

sounds about right
/r/askFDS01/04/21 06:52 PM
3

♥️♥️♥️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 11:18 PM
3

:-((( damn this is tough. i think it makes sense to want to share with the father... could you maybe share with other family members more? also you could write the anecdotes down in a special journal and think of reading them to your kid in the future! like a photo album. and just like cute pics, you dont need to share every cute thing the kid did with the ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 04:05 AM
1

thanks for the support!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 03:57 AM
2

thanks for the thoughts <3 i have been communicating with potential therapists for the past few weeks, but im very picky about it and havent found someone i feel good about yet im trying to find the balance between working through my issues and falling back to habits of overthinking and ruminating about it. honestly ive journaled a lot about it a few months back and.. i felt that it was really a time suck bc i had already spent hours analyzing it, wrote pages about it, and i wonder how much it h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 03:54 AM
2

omg solidarity sis. and i love baggage reclaim!! ive read so much of that blog, everything on there is so accurate. i just clicked around and found this post which is what im doing wrong and where ive been at for months honestly i do keep busy and despite having a full to do list every day, there's always these moments before falling asleep, after waking up from a dream with him, while im cooking or running or walking somewhere... it's like my default is thinking of him :-/ at this point all i c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 03:16 AM
2

omg the only video game i can play is 'baba is you' lol ive been getting into puzzles recently, like filomino and star battle from this site which has the same effects you're describing i think, of something kinda mindless that still keeps your attention. i can also do it on my commute (where i usually day dream about my ex..)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 03:00 AM
2

it's amazing to hear about your resilience and strength... much love to you sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 02:33 AM
30

any advice for someone who's done all this for months but is still heartbroken? </3 i feel so silly because it wasnt even a serious relationship, and the circumstances are almost optimal for me to get over this person (we dont have mutual friends, we dont use social media, i do yoga and run regularly, im not interested in dating rn, i have many hobbies and friends...) we stopped contact in october, and even before that we had fought a bunch of times and were never really together so i actually f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:54 AM
6

i personally would find this overstepping, although i dont really know IG etiquette. also lots of people dont want to talk about their ex and dont want things that remind them of their ex. as others have said, if you really wanna try, send an unassuming message that doesnt mention depression or the ex, with a clear way for her to say no to talking
/r/askFDS15/03/21 12:33 AM
1

omg hard relate. im over a year "sober" now, you dont realize when youre in it how bad it is for you to use sex as a way to cope with things. and it's only a temporary high
/r/askFDS09/03/21 04:24 PM
1

hey i was in a similar situation but i was the flirty friend. i agree with everyone that how your boyfriend takes this on will make clear what to do. in my situation, over a couple years, we did very inappropriate and disrespectful things short of hooking up, and the guy wouldnt stop any escalation until i started to get it together and stopped drinking so much i also agree with everyone that talking to the friend isnt your job, and isnt the root of the problem. in my case, the gf reached out to…
/r/askFDS08/03/21 07:38 PM
1

no no what i meant to express was that they arent lacking anything, and that's kinda my whole point, theres nothing theyre missing or 'demi'(as in 'half') of i myself dont experience sexual attraction at all until a bond is formed, so dw i totally grasp that. and i am bi actually but ig not super relevant what i was saying is that society is hypersexualized, and 'the norm' is porn addicted men, which makes people feel the need to make labels like demisexuality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 03:31 AM
46

Another guy took me on a walk date (I know, I know) and spent the entire hour convincing me that casual relationships/ friends with benefits/ hookups are better than relationships and that I should try it. Even in my pick me days, I had the brains to tell him that he's uninteresting and annoying and I left right there and then. literally had the same date lol oh and he told me he slapped his ex without warning during sex, what a charmer
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 05:16 AM
0

but, what is this magic thing that you are in such a lack of, that is somehow missing in you as a person? i guess the point is that maybe instead of seeing this as you being "unable" to do something, what you are describing might just be by virtue of you seeing people around you in their entirety and not automatically sexualizing them... sounds like the right way to treat humans, tbh what might be relevant instead, i think, and maybe u/gcsubthrow agrees w me, is that most men today, through many…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:31 AM
21

no it;s not an ultimatum, it's totally reasonable, dont let him make you doubt yourself like this this does not sound like a loving relationship. he does not sound excited or enthusiastic about imagining your life together. he honestly sounds like a child who doesnt want to clean his room because his mom asked him to how do you feel after reading this thread and comments? i hope it hasnt been too harsh
/r/askFDS23/02/21 02:11 AM
40

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i literally cant believe she went through all that for this guy what do we do to women for them to not be able to see their own beauty it's so heartbreaking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:21 AM
20

nooooooooooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 02:17 AM
7

What a meaningless pathetic existence exactly... it's just .. boring! with all the beauty and motion in the world.. what a sad waste
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:23 PM
27

omg the little tornado in the first image haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 09:19 PM
10

i also cant imagine myself using dating apps. and i kinda wouldnt want to get with someone who swiped on women like that, i honestly find it objectifying and weird. not that it;s a deal breaker, but ideally i'll end up with someone who also finds it so ... grossly capitalist and unnatural i would recommend just focusing on your friendships and hobbies, i feel like meeting someone through your social circles is the best way to find someone with good intentions and who will probably already have s…
/r/askFDS18/02/21 03:45 AM
142

unfortunately most sex workers prostitute themselves out of necessity and cant get out of the industry, and rejecting a client is rejecting livelihood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 03:36 AM
10

to answer your questions: when im listening to music, i usually think about whatever the music inspires, e.g. if im listening to very dancey music, i imagine myself dancing with people i know in my go-to party setting as for repetitive tasks etc thats when i "indulge" in daydreaming the most! whenever im feeling kind of mentally not myself, i go for a run and it helps clear my mind to let go for a dedicated time this kind of gets into my answer for your main question: to manage my focus, i make …
/r/askFDS15/02/21 11:42 PM
18

hey, i deal with this and have been thinking about it recently too. i think daydreaming is related to the default mode network, which in its turn has been found to be very active among depressed patients... additionally, it might be creating a disconnect from your real life. so i get why it might be something you want to reduce.. i personally want to lessen it because i daydream a lot about my ex and, after many months now, i should try to reduce that (quite obsessive) habit however, if the rest…
/r/askFDS15/02/21 11:28 PM
13

i used to hate my birthday i guess from low self esteem, i used to get so anxious and nauseous when people sang the hbd song as a kid/teen. then i had a couple birthdays when i was really mentally not okay and i wasnt taking care of myself and it was depressing. and now since working on my relationship with my family ive had a couple birthdays that were really sweet and lovely! i agree if someone really hates their birthday like i did, they probably still have some personal growth to do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:27 PM
6

good to hear youre celebrating your birthdays now with your grandmas cards :-) thats so sweet <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:26 PM
5

i think about this a lot, it bothers me too. i think it comes from the idea that mothers' lives start and end with their children. i've definitely done that to my mother a lot in the past, especially when i was a teenager and during our times of conflict. our relationship has grown a lot in the past couple years and im grateful for that :-)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:14 PM
5

what the fuuuuuuuuck so wrong on so many levels, im so sorry :-(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:16 PM
11

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:16 PM
5

During one breakup I had, I walked every time I was upset. I got in such good shape. It was amazing lol omg nice!! in november i did yoga every day as a challenge to myself to get over this person, i would frame it as: is today the day i set myself back (and text him) or is today a day i do yoga instead it did help a lot + i got fit, unfortunately had to stop bc of knee problems. but yea OP do something like this!
/r/askFDS09/02/21 04:51 AM
16

good for you for realizing it :-)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:49 AM
39

a relationship with a 🤢🤢🤢 MAN! 🤢 lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/21 04:39 AM
16

omgggg but thats how i feel!!!!!!! i love my friends so much and theyre so much better than their bfs :-(((((
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 03:17 AM
29

i mean men are humans too (i think) so they must feel that same emptiness, and they crave intimacy too. i think it's just that women are more likely to get to the intimacy != sex conclusion (and get to it earlier) because of the particularities of our social conditions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 07:13 PM
1

yea exactly you just leave them, hoping they disappear on their own
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 03:52 AM
17

hey! same!! (unfortunately) also i didnt talk to my friends about it, i think thats usually a sign you know you're doing something wrong to yourself. besides the immense shame that accompanied it, it just completely fucks up your mental health, i would have weeks in a dissociative haze, completely unlike myself, still recovering from the interaction, and obviously that affects the rest of your life too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 07:31 PM
20

as far as i know, there's no blood test, no. if you have papillomas or warts or abnormal cells in your pap smear, they can get a biopsy (by colposcopy if it's on the cervix (sucks!!!)) to test if it is one of the bad strains (those (that we know of) that cause cancer, the ones the vaccine covers) i have abnormal cells on my cervix due to hpv if you wanna ask anything!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 07:19 PM
2

:-(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:43 PM
11

exactly lol even without the controlling/self-centered aspect, she should block him bc he's dumb
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:43 PM
7

filling up my schedule helps me a lot too, so you dont have time to sit and daydream or sulk in sadness lol
/r/askFDS04/02/21 06:33 PM
3

We as woman have to discard that blue prince fantasy who is going to help us to build up our confidence, that level of love and support takes years, and you are not going to get that type of relation with a bad self-esteem, I know it is hard but you have to get over this yourself yes!! this! you will grow past relationship anxiety once you grow as a person and build up your self esteem, your career, your life... it will be an event that is independent from the future life partner you might end u…
/r/askFDS04/02/21 06:31 PM
3

My counselor has advised me to date and go through the counseling at the same time.. 'keep dating to work through your issues’ is it just me or is this weird? you're not a guinea pig to test theories on, and dating is not something you wanna risk trial and error with. you can date someone and end up in a messy situation that sets you back, heightens your anxiety or makes your attachment worse.. each experience gives me better ways to navigate it in the future i also dont think that's necessarily…
/r/askFDS04/02/21 06:22 PM
7

ugh been there too The worst part was realizing that we weren’t even friends </3 same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 02:16 AM
10

blegh wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 12:52 AM
2

wow im so sorry :-( imagine knowing someone you care about is unhappy for months and not actively try to change anything. honestly sounds like he's plainly telling you he doesn't plan on moving soon, maybe secretly hoping you keep accommodating to him (visiting him more, idk). it's turned into a whole power dynamic mess also 10 apps in 5 months means he either does not want to get a new job, or he has too much anxiety and fear about it... which either way means the same thing to you... you're be…
/r/askFDS02/02/21 04:10 AM
4

I wanted to tell him him imposing an LDR that I didn't want and changing our plans because something came up which individually worked in his favor and left me totally stranded was also "overwhelming." ugh! the best comebacks are always a little late lol but yea that's the biggest part for me, it really seems like he wasnt supportive of your career, and wasnt supportive emotionally. the whole thing is just really inconsiderate of him on all the multiple levels you listed... it sounds like you've…
/r/askFDS02/02/21 03:56 AM
2

ugh i hated when you described how you were in the kitchen with everyone else discussing w the boss... i just hate when that happens!! ive been sent to the kitchen too many times lol
/r/askFDS02/02/21 03:45 AM
2

what should I be asking for or what kinds of changes should I be looking for honestly, that sounds exhausting. what would it mean to explain to him how to love you (in a real sense, imo if you love someone they already make you happy)... what would it mean to get back together with someone who isn't 100% about you? what would the next month, the next year look like? does it look exciting, full of fun dates and growing intimacy? or does it look shaky, uncertain, possibly very sad... would you wan…
/r/askFDS02/02/21 03:34 AM
4

i thought of the same thing! if i had to tell a daughter/my little sister/my mother about this mess, what does it show...
/r/askFDS02/02/21 03:29 AM
7

men always text again, even years later when they're just in a low and lonely point in their lives, so it's nice to not fear that happening on your phone which you carry around everywhere. those "hey it's been a while, i was thinking of you" texts suck your energy, even if you dont realize it in the moment, but it's bad energy also i try to cultivate a man-free life (as much as possible, excluding work and family) and part of that is removing unneeded contacts on my phone ((obv do whatever you w…
/r/askFDS02/02/21 03:22 AM
8

facts ^
/r/askFDS02/02/21 03:14 AM
5

no you're not too harsh, you're not harsh enough! you can just say you dont feel theres good energy, that should be enough
/r/askFDS02/02/21 03:12 AM
14

would you recommend it? what's its name?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 04:33 AM
25

it's so sad that feeling this way at 26, 27, 28... even 23 or less, is so widespread for women when men at this age are still so irresponsible and will be until theyre like 40 (i say this as someone who has interacted with all kinds of men when i was 20, from late 20s scrubs to 30yos who have their shit together, i literally couldnt imagine them having this anxious mindset, they still act like boys) i feel you hard though, and im 23... i think the only thing you should take away from these thoug…
/r/askFDS29/01/21 08:26 PM
9

thanks for sharing, and good for you for leaving him!!
/r/askFDS29/01/21 08:03 PM
2

good idea!! i might go to a museum too lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 09:13 PM
1

omg i was called that once and i could not believe it, it hurt me so much i immediately left. i was crying on my way back home in retrospect i cant believe i let him make me cry. the funniest thing is what pushed him to call me that: he wanted to finger me while we were in a park and i had said no. he demanded a reason why i didnt let him and when i kept repeating bc i dont want to, then he said i was childish XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 01:04 AM
-4

yea he did, here;s the quote https://twitter.com/daniel_dsj2110/status/1328870823051063296
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:22 AM
-9

um he still chose to include that BS in his autobiography, at least that's clearly LV af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:17 AM
4

aw thank you you're so sweet!!! fds is full of wonderful people <3 i had a good healing day with my family today, did yoga, feeling good :-) it's really a tough movie to watch, some scenes made me nauseous or made me cry. good thing i watched it on my own so i skipped forward when needed lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:39 AM
3

do not watch late at night before going to bed like i just did rip
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 06:17 AM
4

thanks for the rec!! i just finished watching it after seeing this thread. it was very triggering indeed. for those who havent seen it yet: it's about rape and suicide
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 06:01 AM
2

lately i've been basically planning dates with a close friend because i really just enjoy it! also i've been thinking of writing down all my date ideas and like places that are near each other that can be done together... i guess im saying make sure you still have outlets to express your outing planning and positive energy and ideas :-) as for when you're dating: instead of thinking about it as a 'you' problem, i would try to see it as a sign that this person is not a good match. you really valu…
/r/askFDS16/01/21 07:57 PM
8

ugh i feel you, i could write a book with all the paragraphs i sent, there's really nothing else i regret as much as that. a few months ago when i was last doing this whole charade i would write long texts and send them to myself. it personally did not help much bc i still felt whatever i was feeling and it didnt lessen the pickme mess ultimately i think i need to completely stop using texting as a way to communicate anything important. the advice above about restricting yourself to 3 sentences …
/r/askFDS15/01/21 05:28 AM
2

<3
/r/askFDS14/01/21 03:51 AM
42

:-((((( this made me cry, poor woman the babyyy 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 02:53 AM
25

until he told me he had jerked off earlier in the day 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️ but yea your points are so true!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:30 AM
17

there was a poll of fds users a few weeks ago and iirc biggest group was early 20s!(?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 03:08 AM
3

true empowerment <3 congrats!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 03:47 PM
2

i can guarantee you that no, the only reason they bothered me was bc i was 20 and looked naive af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 10:59 PM
4

he's crying too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:54 PM
4

my coworker is a mouth breather and working with him remotely is the fucking worst
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 09:09 PM
12

they dont want to thats the point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:42 PM
8

we hold our hands together, squeezing in cringe. after each sister shares we gag and bemoan in unison. this is pickme anonymous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:13 AM
4

ugh same sis. when i first came across fds i felt immense embarrassment and shame, and above all regret, from the realization of what i had actually been doing to myself, but tbh now im just grateful i understand better. it could have kept getting worse even but thankfully im 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️ Back On Track 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:07 AM
3

So, there are tons of people sleeping with each other for validation, thinking the other likes them and getting aroused from that validation, when in reality none of the two people sleeping with each other are actually into the other and they’re basically just using the other person’s body as an invalid ego trip/masturbation aid. omg so true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 05:02 AM
7

wow why you calling me out like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:58 AM
12

that little crack of your heart when, after putting some thought and time into your outfit+hair+makeup and you look your cutest, he shows up looking like he just rolled out of bed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:57 AM
11

a weird one that happened to me 3 different times was at the sports center swimming pool. and like i have a hair cap and marks around my eyes from the goggles and everything, there's other people in the lane, i have a workout to do, absolutely not the place to chit chat and they interrupt my laps. how could you even save my number we're in the pool lol they waited for me outside the locker rooms but i escaped c-:
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 04:40 AM
3

honestly, my first reaction was like damn maybe you could reach out to a common friend and ask them to tell him to get a therapist/go to a ward..? BUT, then i really tried to imagine the situation. imagine being so heartbroken from a breakup.. what do women usually do? we immediately looks things up online, try to make sense of our emotions. how many of us here have questioned our sanity bc of relationships (romantic or even friends)? it's not a big assumption to guess that this guy is aware he …
/r/askFDS05/01/21 09:25 PM
4

hey im sorry youre dealing with intense heartbreak. im at like 2-3 months now(?), for a very dumb and superficial situationship. you can message me anytime to chat if u feel like it! eventually you will feel much better than before, after focusing as much as possible on everything else in life (we all have a ton of shit we keep putting off, now's the time to really test yourself!) so now i feel pretty happy with my progress in life and the work im putting into things, my day-to-day... motivated …
/r/askFDS05/01/21 06:20 PM
3

this one was great too! dating for anxious attachment styles (hint: dont date lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:58 PM
12

thanks for sharing! lead me to read more articles from the author But I’m not that girl I used to be anymore. I’m not faking it anymore. I want to be real and I want something real on my level. I want to treat myself well and do myself good. I don’t just want a functional relationship. I want a strong connection that’s based on authenticity, vulnerability, and genuineness. I want to like a man for who he really is. from 'false intimacy'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 05:52 PM
6

yay!! good for u! getting there myself 0:-)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:30 AM
11

saaame it made me so disciplined with exercise bc it felt like a physically and mentally needed it. makes you look great too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:14 AM
14

i had the same realization! "he's just another boy" honestly helps a lot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:00 AM
14

movie dates can be nice. theres lots of virtual film festivals through BAM and others right now. let him set a day and time and pick an interesting film, and he can get the tickets if there are any. he can set up the screen syncing, i usually use twoseven.xyz or metastream. you can video call after it ends to discuss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 02:41 AM
2

omg im so inflexible too, give me all the planks and strength exercises you want, but it took me ~month of yoga every day to comfortably get my forehead to touch the floor in extended child's pose 🤣😭 when i tell you happy baby is an impatient, uncomfortable baby with me 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:41 AM
1

is your relationship with your family still bad these days? sounds to me that's the bigger remaining issue... i would also be heartbroken to separate these two worlds im a part of. i know i would want to share my history w my future partner, show them where i grew up. i still havent figured out what my partnered life would look like (where to live, if we had children, what languages they would speak...) but i meant it's gotta be a balance that works for you. maybe it would be nice to focus on re…
/r/askFDS03/01/21 11:17 PM
4

the no sex rule isnt just about taking the time to see if a guy is nice or friendly or stupid and getting to know him. it's about clearly stating romantic intentions. it's still possible he is not going to be in a relationship with you, despite your previous friendship, despite a sexual attraction. it's less probable for him not to have serious, genuine intentions after 3 months of dates and (non-sexual) quality time you know yourself best, and should avoid possible situations that would leave y…
/r/askFDS03/01/21 11:00 PM
1

^ i agree.. at this stage, i would try not to speak/facetime for hours. ideally, dating during covid should still take the form of like discrete, finite dates (can happen on video chat/virtually!) and not bffs/family/intimate partners calling/bonding for company
/r/askFDS03/01/21 10:41 PM
12

both are valid and good reasons
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 07:48 PM
5

<3 love this response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:37 PM
37

the most important aspect of good sex for me is being in the moment/letting go, being relaxed and connected to my body. it's like chasing what it feels like to be on drugs, but i think it's much more valuable to develop this as a habit/mindset to tap into, and to not kind of outsource this to drugs (which can be bad for you!). the following things help: dancing! it's kind of like practicing that mind body connection. practice in sensuality too. was super meaningful to me as a previously shy and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:37 PM
69

honestly this is hilarious 🤣🤣 being so babied that his mom picks the engagement ring 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:59 PM
24

i was thinking about that today. imagine masturbating more consistently than brushing your teeth
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 02:25 AM
1

oooo ok i see thanks for reply! im gonna PM you a related question if you dont mind
/r/askFDS02/01/21 12:09 AM
1

is it just me or is the second example you shared of "better not say this" very normal...? i guess you're controlling yourself and holding back a thought(?), but idk i havent heard of calling that sort of worry or awareness you're describing as control.. how is it different from keeping others' feelings in mind and not spouting things that hurt the people around you? interested in reading abt this if you have an article to recommend?
/r/askFDS31/12/20 09:21 PM
2

writing pseudonymous posts on fds or other forums can serve as an outlet for you while still reaching people and helping them!! thats how fds grew so much. actually i right now am glad you are sharing through this thread i agree with others that sharing a personal and intimate story online with your name linked to it is a bad idea. you might not see the need for or the value of that privacy right now, but really since there are other, equally healing ways to work through this, theres really no n…
/r/askFDS31/12/20 09:01 PM
4

mood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 08:41 PM
10

good on you for standing your ground! leave that negativity back in 2020. you can do this!! <3 in a couple years you will look back as see this as a pivotal moment that adds to your strength and integrity, feel the energy from that! my friend went though a bad breakup recently, my advice would be dont feel guilty about reaching out to family and friends for support right now, ending a relationship of 5 years is huge, if i were you, i would try as much as i could to minimize being alone, and acti…
/r/askFDS31/12/20 08:32 PM
5

that also resonated with me. and i apply this to others things i value in life too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:38 PM
37

lmaoo was speaking to a 37yo man who was complaining about his gf being on her phone a lot, watching tik tok... i asked: is she 20 years younger than you or something?? you know that got him quiet! they're always telling on themselves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 04:29 PM
5

lmao yea i feel you. i think escapism.. cant be escaped lol to be fair we are living in a once in a century economic crisis, plenty to be depressed about. when it comes to finding a partner however, easy to see how people who dont love life arent able to love you..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 03:11 AM
17

i cannot get over how much disrespect mothers go through!!!!! and it's normalized everywhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 02:02 AM
24

thanks for motivating me to do this, was a good exercise :-) i agree w your list too!! General life outlook, habits: Loves life, curious, likes learning and trying new things, likes nature, sunrises, hiking, sea… has hobbies, good at planning dates Values family, respects parents Not american/euro-centered mind, we can talk about all sorts of things Actively takes care of mental health, knows own mistakes and has already progressed Concrete things i want: Makes me playlists + shares music Will r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 01:54 AM
18

👑👑 congrats!! what a way to start the new year :-D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 12:14 AM
3

congrats <3 i looove the ring! it looks like a hand of fatima eye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 10:39 PM
2

dont be ashamed sis! i went through something so similar a couple years ago. you're still amazing, you're still yourself, just less naive now, and thats a good thing! take this regret/shame and turn it into energy to push you forward. im so glad you see more clearly now, it can only mean you will take care of yourself better in the future <3 unfortunately, the insecure, inexperienced smart guy is a type we kinda just have to go through before coming to realize that it almost automatically makes …
/r/askFDS25/12/20 10:36 PM
14

this is a great (and thorough!) class analysis of prostitution by a former sex worker. it was written in response to the DSA passing a resolution in support of the decriminalization of pimps and johns. it's pretty long, i would recommend skipping the intro bc of violent descriptions. at the end she added clear bullet points summarizing her points!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 03:11 AM
51

been there!! what a mess. honestly, suppose you "convince" someone to take you back, is that really what you want, to be with someone you had to ask to want you? it's so surely going to be unfulfilling, unromantic, passionless, disingenuous ... why do this to yourself. have the power to imagine better for yourself, something actually nice, i dare you to! dignity and integrity were words that almost didn't resonate with me before and didnt feel relevant to relationships, but my mindset has change…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 08:13 PM
2

<333 i was asking myself the same questions when i was 20. now im soooo glad i wasnt always with a man, bc its so draining!! and it seriously holds you back from doing more fulfilling things, trust me. 20yo boys have little to add to your life. dont think i need to say this, but just in case: def stay away from older men. ik it's hard to imagine but men dont necessarily need to have a role in your life at this stage, cut them out from the play! even though i was never in a serious relationship o…
/r/askFDS19/12/20 05:24 PM
5

Sounds like you're doing things right! Honestly, I would say don't date for the sake of dating in itself, and I recommend this for any woman not just your age. It's very likely you will find many people who want to get serious with you throughout your 20s, so why start getting into that so early??? Focus on school, work, whatever you do. Enjoy your relationships with your family, friends... Building on all of that will be more satisfying than most likely outcomes from dating as a woman in her ea…
/r/askFDS18/12/20 06:17 PM
4

and i choose you doesnt mean i respect you or wont treat you like shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/20 04:45 AM
17

i'd be behind you if you want to call him out and block him! sounds like a queen move
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 09:02 PM
7

<33 yay !!! so happy for you. also love your username!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:56 AM
5

UGH i feel you, my coworkers are super condescending dismissive of me when i bring something up but then when the problem persists they point it out to the boss themselves. my strategy is to keep doing good work and to "document" what i do in the open as much as i can, in meetings and on the slack channel as opposed to private conversations
/r/askFDS09/12/20 07:31 PM
8

:-(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:02 PM
7

for real you're so clear-headed and strong!! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:09 AM
11

if he wants to be with you indefinitely, it shouldnt take a huge leap of imagination to be able to talk about getting married or planning your future together? it should be exciting??? theres nothing to get stuck on, if he's not understanding you now, how would it look like later... not smooth, not easy..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:08 AM
16

omg you were just bringing it up and wanting to plan and he got defensive 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ yea you were not on the same page, you spotted that and made the only decision you could make. it's great you're living with intention!! life's too short to stay in passionless, plan B companionships
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:03 AM
1

i saw the same thing a few years back, i was with my brother at the time. it was so surreal
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 11:50 PM
3

practice? practicing what?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 02:36 AM
11

omg amazing! <3
/r/askFDS03/12/20 02:16 AM
10

why is everything about power dynamics :-( cant they keep things simple. i guess foucault was right lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:50 AM
15

:-( sounds about right. the disrespect mothers get is so normalized
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:47 AM
2

some people truly cannot conceptualize the fact that other people exist for reaal thats ittt, thats what it got to
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 04:21 AM
1

i agree with the other comments about giving things time. even after you start committing yourself to your new standards and start pushing for your goals in a steady and sustained way, you still need time to see the results changing your person. once the life you want to lead becomes a habit, then you will be able to look months or years back and see your clear achievements, instead of looking at yourself with regret or discomfort. affirmations and praise wont sound empty or silly, because you w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 08:55 PM
4

yea i get you... most relationships die somehow eventually. being emotionally mature includes the ability to recognize when things arent going anywhere or when something is harming you. think of blocking as a tool to use when you come to such a realization. it's like clearing your cache, it will make things easier for you to not have this background worry in your mind. so in this case, it's an ideal thing to do <3
/r/askFDS24/11/20 11:54 PM
6

yay congrats!! but what are you feeling guilty about specifically? that he might feel hurt you blocked him?
/r/askFDS24/11/20 04:02 AM
6

all 20-25yos on tinder?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 10:17 PM
27

Y’all- he hopes I’m well!! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:58 PM
2

F
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:53 PM
7

omg i relate to sooo much of this, especially those moments where what they say is so off and disenchanting it sounds almost absurd. im so sorry all this happened to you </3 my shituationship started in April and had a couple "rounds", despite me browsing fds since our first breakup. seeing how yours lasted for so long, im worried about relapsing :-( but it was also inspiring to read and im so happy for you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:50 PM
28

damn we sure ruin things when we call them as they are
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:09 PM
4

ughhh i could never live with a man
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:19 PM
10

as long as you're being patient with yourself and doing well in the main areas of your life (school, work, friendships, art, politics, whatever is important to you), dont stress about what you should or shouldn't be remembering... there no set way or timeline to get over things, so dont be quick to project things onto yourself. try to evaluate objectively: in the past year, what have i done or started to do to better my life and get closer to my goal? that's all that matters. if your exes are ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:13 PM
5

yea i feel that lol a guy saw my reddit post about him and i felt bad for somehow... breaching his privacy? exposing him??? humiliating(?) him even if it's not directed at him / tied back to him in any way??? but ultimately if it's only inspired by them (or more accurately by your experiences with them, which are just as much yours as they are theirs) you're not doing anything inappropriate and dont feel shame about it. i thought your campaign was so funny and relatable! i wanna be your friend l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 08:59 PM
3

ugh same </3 i see him every night in my dreams :-(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 11:57 PM
4

omg noooo too accurate 😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 11:47 PM
1

the disrespect 😩😩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 09:05 PM
8

yayyy congrats!! it takes huge effort to decenter men and stop seeking validation from them. i think im getting closer and closer to it :-)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:35 PM
5

a lot of queer white people i know dont actively care abt racism or social justice but think their gayness automatically makes them somehow progressive. the point is identity politics isnt inherently radical at all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:28 AM
6

fds is sisterhood 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:20 AM
2

omggg this thread is killing me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:13 AM
2

omggg imagine... i would be down to try it bc i dont use dating apps anyway idgaf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:12 AM
3

noooo you woke up to this message :-(((
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 12:06 AM
2

another based post by u/curlysoosh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 11:29 PM
2

im not trying to tell you what your love language is, obv you do you. just from reading this, it sounds like you're pointing out examples of gifts you like (vacation) and that you dont like (jewelry). preferring cuddles to massages wouldnt make you less of a touch love language person, right? idk just thinking out loud
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 11:27 PM
3

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 10:10 PM
1

the screenshot is about more than building community, you see the other points it brings up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 11:58 PM
1

i dont find this super insightful? it's not specific or critical enough, and can too easily be used for a non-commital softboy's bid for polyamory is the "obsession w love" actually lamenting women who want committed relationships? or is it closer to fds advice about not settling, loving the single life and not needing men? the phrasing is sus either way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 10:44 PM
4

</3 the reasoning is: they show care for interesting things, we might have a connection that way, they can see the beauty in life... to me the beauty in human connection and love is clearly related to the sublime in art. yet it's still possible for these same men to fear intimacy and depth and not see the humanity in you. it's definitely misleading to say the least.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 10:17 PM
1

ughh i hate ittt!!! my coworker has said that to me when i felt 100% normal and it felt so inappropriate like, who tf are you to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 05:55 PM
5

💯💯 last guy i was with said something like i wish i could make you happy (master of self-pity) and i was so offended he didnt see i was already happy and doing great lol 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 01:34 AM
10

omggggg ily
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 10:45 PM
2

omg awesome. im gonna add this disappointing book that had a WHOLE chapter for a very detailed gang rape of the lead character very unexpectedly and gratuitously toward the end of the book, with zero plot value. award winning author ofc ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 07:57 PM
23

my last situationship similarly started really intensely the first week. the second week was a total vibes reversal, almost zero communication, and i wish i had the clarity of mind to cut him off that second week before getting used to hot and cold behavior for months. try to find someone who's clear on wanting you and being into you!! <3
/r/askFDS07/11/20 06:08 PM
3

man this thread is leaving me so confused </3 the last person i was "with" made me feel _something_ so intensely ... i had felt nauseous multiple times when physically around him, from the nerves i think. and at the start of our dates i would be slightly shaking and unable to think or use my phone. this lead me to believe i was too anxious from our dynamic but all of the other stuff shared in this thread applied to us too :-( idk what to think
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 11:32 PM
21

this is so cooooL can i follow you on github or something??? <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 08:40 PM
57

i used to love doja cat so much </3 her raceplay mess was so disappointing... no surprise she's a super pickme :-(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:27 PM
4

this is it, it's so obvious lol i hope she dumps him asap, with or without the surgery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:22 PM
4

yay so happy for you, you'll look back at this and be proud of choosing yourself <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 04:57 PM
69

why dont they clip their nails 😭😭 do they like being the scissorhands mf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:22 PM
6

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 11:18 PM
1

wow amazing!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 01:24 AM
7

💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 08:02 PM
4

forreal i need to listen to this every morning
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:56 PM
11

hey op, i read the whole post. thanks for sharing, i hope writing it out helped you sort your thoughts... you really sounds like an amazing person, i hope you find a way to protect yourself from what's bringing you down... in this case, from my understanding of your post, you will need to move on from this guy and find someone who truly deeply cares about you. feeling attached to him now might seem enough to justify staying with him, but it's really not. you can build that kind of bond with anyo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:56 PM
31

same ive never orgasmed w a partner but can easily give myself one. im done with being embarrassed or sad about it though! it's so clear to me it's because i can't be vulnerable or feel safe with the men ive slept with. nothing to be sorry about in that case, aint my fault!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 04:35 PM
20

this is a perfect example of why im suspicious of the mainstream usage of attachment theory. shes blaming and gaslighting herself and her anxious attachment style, when really the issue is from putting herself in this messy situation. instead of seeing the problem for what it is and moving on, she's putting in her head "damn why am i so anxious and insecure.."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 05:57 PM
67

literally thinks the world revolves around him.. love ur comeback OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 09:07 PM
1

holy shit thats horrible. so fucked up, especially with your ex... thanks for sharing. in my experience too my GYN was dismissive especially when I was a teenager. it wasnt until i had a really bad one at school once where i was passing out and vomiting and had diarrhea from the pain that they brought up removing the cysts and i went through it one of the cysts grew back again and GYN wants to remove it. the thing is i felt really weak after surgery, it really sucked to have to stop working out,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 03:30 PM
13

<3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:15 AM
48

lmaoo calling out all the college aged white couples
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 11:09 PM
17

damn sorry to hear that. thanks for sharing. i have a medium sized cyst right now but didnt want to go through surgery bc the twisting and heavy periods have subsided (only a 1-2 times a year now), but my GYN didnt mention cyst rupture, they were just talking abt how surgery is easier sooner than later. i'll read more about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:45 PM
31

i didnt know cysts could rupture, is this just when they get too big? if you're too physically active?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:17 PM
21

ugh so true. is it opposite day??? this world is upside down
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 07:22 PM
3

omg i love you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 05:52 PM
82

that's actually a smart thing to do lol bc unfortunately too many "smart" men are assholes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 11:09 PM
1

girl same, i was randomly remembering it while doing dishes today and could not stop laughing to myself XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:42 PM
2

omg ty <33 i dont want to ever lose it XD
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:33 PM
30

does anyone have a link to the original "i can take you to this field" post i cant find it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:50 AM
3

so lovely to hear OP ❤️ i highly value that too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:44 AM
2

omg cuute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:43 AM
2

❤️ so sweet ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:42 AM
13

i still cant with this joke 🤣🤣🤣 omggg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:39 AM
10

this is you (with your own goals) in a year i guarantee. good for you!! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:37 AM
2

you're definitely not broken OP! <333 im also similar. for me it's a mindset / mental block where it's hard to relax with someone else watching and truly let go (can masturbate fine on my own without a toy, with "healthy" (non-violent, not related to assault or porn) thoughts). it does help when im under the influence of something.. 😌😇 and as mentioned above it's also been better since ive stopped porn and been meditating and doing yoga more regularly. for me it's felt like a rewiring of my brai…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:31 PM
6

woah never heard of a gynecologist prescribing that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:19 PM
19

and you havent considered that it's daylight savings time, please dont overwhelm him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:11 PM
32

for me intense self care really did come from a place of self hatred, so it helped to distance myself from SM standards. i understand that other people enjoy it, i do too if i dont get too intense about it, i.e. when it was really based on low self esteem. i kind of go through phases of dolling myself up or being extra healthy and then at the opposite end kind of getting into a hippy mode of enjoying nature and existence and my body for what it is and its imperfections and kind of distancing mys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 09:04 PM
9

yay happy birthday! 💖 ive been wanting to go for a walk on the beach before it gets too cold where i am, but my friend doesnt feel like it. this makes me want to go alone
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 03:33 PM
10

omg love her makeup!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 01:05 AM
132

ofc theyre beautiful and he looks 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 02:19 AM
29

it's because all these movies are written by men !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:32 AM
11

the mother is def better off <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:49 PM
9

wait what i thought they were both women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:41 PM
7

thanks for sharing OP, it's the first I hear of Valerie Solanas. and i really liked the article
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:47 PM
3

the article OP shared says that it was parodying Freud and shows many quotes from both authors
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:46 PM
12

similar to my manifest.json 😇 go get it sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 07:35 PM
1

i have a small list of things i could do to make myself feel better: yoga, go for a run, text/call people i care about (sometimes backfires if everyone happens to be busy or everything feels off/disconnected bc of the anxiety), journal, cook, deep clean, read backlog of bookmarked interesting articles i saved for later... make one for yourself and truly fill your time with concrete things, and get used to enjoying spending time with yourself and your own thoughts... that's what I've been trying …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 12:26 AM
8

omg i loved this show in 8th grade ... i cant believe i watched that smh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:59 PM
2

omgg 🤣🤣💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:43 PM
5

yea same i just dont like pets 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 08:21 PM
2

hey, dont have much advice, but i really feel you on this 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 02:10 AM
2

my best friend listens to it even though she tells me the hosts are rich assholes whose opinions shouldnt matter. idk why she listens to it if she admits it's so toxic, it's one of a couple things that make me feel i'm growing out of this friendship.... :-(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 06:11 PM
3

theres an fds playlist too 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:43 AM
3

i feel this hard for my friends </333
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 05:03 PM
3

🤣🤣 omg love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 04:01 PM
18

that was actually pathetic 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 02:47 PM
5

ugh mood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:57 AM
8

and sad :-( we deserve to take care of our bodies and minds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:43 AM
7

i also go for a run when i feel those thoughts creeping in 😅😅 i actually made a list of 73 things i would rather do than think about boys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:20 PM
2

yo real talk that scene was so scary to me as a kid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:12 PM
6

i think theres totally that type youre talking about too, of men who know and understand they're being shitty. thats usually when we get the "you deserve better" non-apologies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:09 PM
21

older sisters of the world unite!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 07:15 PM
31

ugh why are they so scared to call, it's just easy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 03:37 AM
26

when that first happened to me i thought i had a std and was crying about it 🤦‍♀️ i even profusely apologized to the dude bc i thought i gave him herpes... but the gynecologist was like calm down ur fine, use lube wish she told me sex shouldnt stay hurting this much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:54 PM
8

amazing 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:50 PM
152

the disrespect... fr who gave them this self-importance??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:28 AM
8

wtf that scrote is disgusting!! also youre right on them avoiding dating apps to not get reported
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:25 AM
41

damn i hadnt even read the surgery part and thought that was disrespectful af. hope you have a speedy recovery <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:21 AM
2

say bitch .. say say say say bitch i am what you get between a texas and a bay bitch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:04 AM
48

too many sis i know too many...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:02 AM
6

omg is this the best meme format ever??????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:56 PM
7

what he's sending them to do is the bare minimum, like taking care of yourself. i wouldnt be so quick to call it HV behavior, in fact have you met someone who follows his ramblings? all it gives them is the courage to be assholes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:52 PM
0

the example i gave at the end was to show you how things that are normalized in a given country or society would shock others looking from the outside in i didnt want to make my comment too long so i didn't get into too much detail, but as points of clarification, i am not from saudi arabia, but i did live there, and i'm personally very politically against prince MB Salman, for various reasons but most obviously for his initiative in accelerating the horrifying war on yemen that has birthed a ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:35 PM
4

ive lived in SA for 10 years, although it's much much different now from when i was there. SA didn't used to allow tourists (there literally wasnt a tourist visa) but theyve opened up the past few years and changed society's structure a lot. the things you mention might seem weird to you, but it's really not that bad when a society is just organized differently. for example: no women on the street. that's true because some cities are just not walking cities. you only go by car from one place to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:50 PM
3

i still like this song but yea im not suprised https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ_RSRgb_A0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:37 AM
2

damn rip
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:36 AM
14

yo same my music tastes changed a little, or at least lotta music dont hold the same place for me anymore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:35 AM
7

some things to think about: is this a temporary thing? what is his talk like, does he plan on getting a job soon? if the answer is no, then the answer is no. also, this has been a long term thing already right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 03:18 AM
3

im 22 rn, you are goals 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:50 AM
5

PRINCESS NOKIAAA U CAN CALL ME ON MY CELLULAAA
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:37 PM
1

damn that's crazy. Thanks for sharing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 08:21 PM
10

thats interesting i didnt know they gave u pills when you freeze your eggs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:01 AM
7

😭 honey why
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:05 PM
6

while im having sex with him: "i know youre submissive, 43, i just know because you are, i know you want me to be more rough with you" i just hate men 😣😰🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:09 PM
3

this is a good question i muse about sometimes.. my two cents: let's say this relationship is for real.. then the anxiety must get adressed at some point, right? it probably wont disappear on its own. either he starts reading self help books, finds a group and makes more friends, goes to therapy -- whatever it is, some event will need to happen, a beginning to the change, for his own sake if i were in your position, maybe i would share how im dealing with these types of issues as a sort of motiv…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 04:23 AM
5

women def look so so much better, but the industries (fashion, cosmetics, hair stuff etc) that allow this probably would focus on more men too if there was such a need. it might be a kind of chicken and egg problem, but imo women look so amazing bc we are socialized, expected and used to spending the time on and putting in the labor for our appearance for men, not because we have more "tools". the industries capitalized on the value/scrutiny of our appearance (just my thoughts obv im not arguing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:32 AM
2

theres great advice in this thread, all i wanted to add is that dont feel the need to "disclose" this fear unless you get to the 3+ months point and it's become relevant in short dont be vulnerable when you dont need to. men might try to take advantage of it: they might sexualize it and treat you like an "innocent" to mold, they might use this information to present themselves deceivingly differently to you, they might neg/insult you about it... anyway theres no reason to mention it if it's earl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:40 PM
11

imo the fact that we have more options makes it harder for us to look good -- we have to keep with trends, we have to worry about more aspects of our looks, you still wanna look original etc. in the end men can look "good" by doing much less than us, and it doesnt matter if their shorts arent super unique and they didnt need to figure out the right foundation for the season, the right eyeshadow for the outfit, the right outfit for the occasion bc they have less variables and less variability in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:26 PM
53

bloqh' ✌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 07:18 PM
12

this is actually hilarious lmaooo the way he keeps a straight face 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 05:26 PM
29

wow this song is actually great advice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 02:13 PM
7

i have a 12 year old sister who is on tiktok all day ... i am so scared for her but i cant have an honest conversation with her. i just sent these links to my parent, as a first step. ultimately i just wish she could learn to value herself, but i understand it's part of her age... when i was 12 i wasnt nearly as concerned about looks and makeup and my body yet, so i am really worried about the self hate that is brewing and will permanently shape the person she will be come in the future ... </3 …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 04:50 AM
5

🗣🗣 👆 should be everyone's first thought when she's mentioned
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:31 AM
6

^ tea ☕.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:26 AM
2

ty <333 i love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 07:25 PM
3

i also need to know^ !!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:13 AM
2

omg love it 👑👑👑 congrats on all these big steps leveling up!!! total goals 💪🏽💪🏽💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:11 AM
157

my gf wont give me a good boy award for having a dick 😪😢😢 these feminists are making her think independently 😨 what do i do 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 03:39 AM
2

damn fucked up how that man conned his way in. thanks for the tips <3 i need to be more vigilant abt letting anyone into my place
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:30 PM
3

this makes a lot of sense thank you. i definitely need to be more aware of false bonds i might be creating when im being nice/polite to men in the neighborhood
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 09:26 PM
7

thanks for sharing op, interesting lists. does anyone else feel like some points are too general though idk i feel like most women would identify with a lot of these points
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 02:28 AM
10

needing to be drunk is a bullet point on the gdoc list OP shared above ^
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 02:27 AM
6

heyy u have a throwaway tag bc the mods saw u have a new account. it's just on this sub tho and it's to keep track of accounts whove been on this sub a long time or are newish so when u read the conversation u keep it in mind :-) also the mods check that ur not a guy i think dont have advice for the post 😅 im in the same boat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:18 AM
6

i feel like this is (slightly) similar to a woman growing past love-bombing/narc relationships and meeting more mature people. at least ive seen a sentiment expressed on the sub before of missing the intensity of what became abusive relationships but i dont think that leveling up and growing will prevent anyone from feeling a connection with people like this guy tho. idk whats wrong w him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 03:59 AM
1

when will all the communicating i have with people be this simple 🖤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 03:50 AM
13

damn sis ur so right, ty this helps me. i gotta detach him from the thing i want and feel in my heart, which is just companionship/neurotransmitters
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 03:41 AM
69

i felt it rot my brain
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 03:17 AM
1

damn similar story here. why do they dip like that? i figured theyre embarrassed of their performance 🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:40 PM
6

wow good for you sis!!! 👑 and your point is really interesting... im really curious if theres any research on this...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 02:31 AM
109

first of all, dick is abundant and of no value, so jot that down
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:26 PM
7

damn it's so dumb the app proposes that reaction. maybe they propose a heart for all sex related words on purpose 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:52 PM
6

it's hard to go through a day without these things being forced into ur brain
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:08 PM
2

slightly off topic but a few months ago i was out with a group of people and a guy i never really talked to before chatting me up. he eventually asked me what my favorite disney movie was and i answered lilo and stitch (theres no debate!! nani is amazing) he managed to ruin it for me by saying how it's interesting i picked that one bc he was from a large island by the pacific ocean and that his favorite was aladdin when i look like jasmine 👍👍😓🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:04 PM
3

👑👑 love that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:00 PM
2

ugh such a waste
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:18 PM
3

It was like I was a pitcher pouring my heart and soul into a bowl with a hole in the bottom. ugh perfect analogy. so sad this is a widespread problem
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:17 PM
15

💯 💯 💯 his last message about someone to figure things out with is such a red flag, boy get over urself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:27 PM
51

he didnt and he's blaming you!! im so mad ugh >:-( makes me wanna take u on a beautiful date to spite lazy boys
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:23 PM
11

alan dershowitz deserves nothing good from this world. he has consistently been on the side of the oppressors in struggles worldwide, including being a despicable mouthpiece for the destruction of palestine and other targets of western imperialism as it is unfortunately the norm among elite lawyers and harvard professors, the blood of hundreds of thousands of innocents are on his hands and his "academic" contributions have never been anything other than regurgitated racist capitalist propaganda …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 05:28 PM
4

fuck these numbers are disgusting i hate this world
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 04:56 PM
14

did you reply saying you dont care abt quantity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 09:49 PM
7

r/FDSSuperFans
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:27 AM
19

lmao 🤣 love it 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 11:18 PM
3

ur username 💪💪👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 07:54 PM
10

ugh same. it's embarrassing yo. a good rule might be to focus on the present and on things around you during the conversations
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 09:24 PM
42

i swear men are so out of touch with reality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/20 07:37 PM
14

thats so true. crazy men and cops 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/20 12:04 AM
11

for real this breaks my heart, shes so gorgeous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 02:28 AM
8

guilty of the twitch stream thing 😓😓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:10 PM
34

grown ass men sounding like 12yos
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:52 AM
1

ugh i hate when they bring up their intentions... like i dont live inside your head you dummy, it doesnt change nothing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:30 AM
3

hey i just wanted to thank you for such a detailed and clear comment. i relate to a lot of it and saved it in case i need it in the future. hope u have a nice weekend 😇
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 05:27 AM
10

🤣🤣 i love xkcd!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 05:47 PM
7

i dont think the article at any point implies that attractiveness isnt a part of finding a match or an important standard, and the conclusion is definitely nothing like "u shouldnt be healthy or take care of yourself", those are things anyone would obviously encourage!!! and the post actually doesnt make that sort of either/or dichotomy at all, from what i read my takeaway was that i shouldnt use looks to justify any trash men i ended up with; all women have it the same bc lvm are indiscriminate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 04:10 AM
4

i think the mods saying we're beautiful was simply in direct response to claims by the rest of reddit that r/fds is full of "femcels", by which they mostly just mean ugly. so it was just funny 🤷🏾‍♀️ the article is not saying caring for yourself isnt important, but that your looks are definitely not the reason you're ending up with trash men. consequently relying on your looks to fine a better man isnt enough of a solution either!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 03:46 AM
12

no one is saying you should force yourself to like someone youre not attracted to... at all. in fact we're def against that!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 12:23 AM
1

wow thats great to hear 😊😊 good for her!! 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 04:50 AM
3

yikes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 05:55 PM
23

wtf even is 12 characters "hey how are you" is 15!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 07:44 PM
6

ugh theyre literally all the same arent they. it's about turning themselves into the victim.. like tf you trying to pull
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:15 PM
13

for real, dont worry about seeming harsh or like a bitch, it really helps clear your headspace!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:14 AM
6

i actually had this discussion with my doctor this week bc of my medical issues. kinda feel similarly to you... im in my early 20's, kids and pregnancy are not on my mind at all. i gotta get my career running and im thinking about school and moving to a diff city and so many other priorities! i hope i wont think that not raising my own children will make me less of a woman. it's been a dream/set expectation since i was little. it's just how we're raised yknow. but im really okay with it for now,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 06:07 AM
21

that dont sound like a rejection to me????? at all sounds like hes just looking for an easy lay, or you intimidate him by being real, or he's emotionally stunted and doesnt know how to act like an adult man. any of these are reasons to celebrate he showed you his true self early before you get invested/put in more effort please dont give him validation/attention when he texts you next week or so (bc they always do....) it will with 100% probability be out of boredom or for his own ego boost. jus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:59 AM
14

100%!! it aint a loss or rejection, it's a dodged bullet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:53 AM
13

when ive been with men who exhibited similar behavior, it sometimes boiled down to them admitting theyre bad at communicating or understanding their emotions, so i liked to explicitly list their "emotional problem" or stunted emotional abilities as something they needed to work on in therapy, or as something that turned me off and a reason to end things. who wants to be with a child anyway!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:50 AM
22

damn stay strong sis! do not back down. this happened to me so many times. it's classic textbook gaslighting. essentially it's shifting the focus on his intentions and perception of reality, when actual actions and consequences are what matter. in my experience the cause is a mix of a) being too self centered to understand there is a world outside his tiny fucking head, and b) not respecting you as a whole rational human with valid observations better to drop him, but if you insist on raising hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:44 AM
143

and he was acting offended!!!!!! lmao men have so much ego it's ridiculous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:26 AM
76

^^ queen shit. pandemic and coming across fds gave me the final push. never felt better!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 05:23 AM
11

ugh same i would let anyone walk over me... story time!! i would always be the one texting or calling or planning something with my friend. she never initiated anything. i eventually realized this imbalance went on long enough and wanted to see how long it would take her to reach out to me after a few weeks, she calls needing me to help her with something online, but she needs me to come all the way to her place with my laptop and also she misses me so we should hang since im the one whos been M…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 04:17 AM
15

ding ding ding! thats why they seem to turn into completely different people around other men. they would never treat the men in their lives (friends, coworkers, idols) like shit, because they actually respect them as humans
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 08:29 PM
14

the full video is so well done, i immediately subbed, great critical analysis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 02:30 AM
89

these stats are so scary... killed while pregnant!!! 😭😭😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 10:49 PM
0

same i think id be fine with never getting married but i expect i will mostly for the legal benefits
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 05:11 PM
6

that sounds different from fds rules to me. if a man stops chasing us, we cut him off not to make him miss us and come back, but we cut off for good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 03:29 AM
2

aw man im sorry sis :-(( sucks to realize you were not as close as you thought
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 03:20 AM
81

when youre 37 and sexualizing 13yos 👍🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 12:54 AM
11

"yes i selected looking for a relationship... but wouldnt any human interaction essentially constitute a relationship at its most basic? with varying degrees of intimacy of course... by chatting right now we might even say we already have some sort of relationship" - actual bullshit a guy who wanted fwb tried to pull on me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:43 PM
17

i agree with what everyone is saying here: if he wanted to bond with you, he would! and the fact that he wasnt is proof enough that he did not want to bond with you. u deserve better and in the meantime enjoy your single self!! he will most probably hit you up after quarantine, but i wouldnt give him a chance: everyone is affected by quarantine yet we are still in contact with our friends, family and loved one, so dont let him dump all the blame on q !!! no free passes, treat dating like a job i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:35 PM
20

aw i feel you girl we've all been there. id recommend making a 5 point list of things you should try to do if you are thinking too much about a guy and wanna text him. for example, next time you feel the urge try to do one of these things: - watch a SheRa videos or other fds approved youtubers - come to the sub and interact with the posts! comment and get to know everyone, feel the feminine strength 😇 - reach out to a female friend instead! maybe send her an fds meme - call your mom and have a c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:26 AM
2

perfect tag for this post lmao had me in stitches
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:02 AM
6

omg do you mean this weird storytelling style that reads like it was written by a 14yo non-english speaker for a essay prompt and that has too many cliche details
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/20 05:01 AM
38

yea sure you tell yourself that.. kermit sounding mf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 08:24 PM
35

i personally would prefer just writing on weekly threads with our thoughts and selected quotes, theres benefits to that imo: the discussions are archived and part of the sub, not ephemeral we dont need to figure out a meetup time or that kind of logistics. anyone can participate at their own time/pace, it is inclusive to people in diff time zones safety .... we can remain pseudonymous it's more casual might be easier for quiet people, and one or 2 voices cant dominate. also might be easier for p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:52 PM
33

it's one of the most basic things tho. if you havent already please read the whole handbook, might convince u tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 05:42 AM
3

ugh i hate seeing these patterns propagate through generations :-((( i wish that they didnt give up after a certain age. it comes from self-hate really, if they believed they deserved better they would try to find someone better... i wish i could convince the women in my life of that. the worst is seeing old pictures of them when they were young, and realizing how much time they wasted on these trash men... </3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 03:18 AM
6

UGH glad to hear you're out of that situation <3 the entitlement is astonishing #KickHimOut2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 03:01 AM
3

aw man that really sucks. good you see it critically though... i know i cant go to my mother for advice or support on rape or sexual assault. it's heartbreaking because i wish i had that kind of relationship with her, but it just hasnt been that way so far she also takes it so personally when i joke about possibly not having children -- she on the other hand jokes about needing grandkids soon all the time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 02:53 AM
14

girl every time a comment makes me LOL i see it's you 😂😂💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 01:30 AM
-4

oh ok i thought you meant the authors of the link bc slate is a liberal site but the article seemed ok to me (skimmed it) maybe you meant the people who made the "blm porn" but obv thats by gross creepy porn producers not concerned abt racism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 01:25 AM
19

who do you mean by "wokies"? also: what kind of fucked up disgusting disrespectful world do we live in to have "blm porn" exist. honestly fuck the world rn im so pissed, the fucking disrespect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:18 PM
26

theres no closure with men like him, just delete him, dont even answer back. trust me sis you'll feel a weight off your shoulders
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:13 PM
14

thank you for the stats sis im saving this post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:11 PM
74

youre too uptight/serious = dont call me out on my shitty behavior youre too naggy/bitchy = lower your standard or have less integrity youre too paranoid/crazy = im deleting the texts, i will lie until you have proof your standards are too high = isnt my smelly dick enough?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:08 PM
4

if you can stop contact without it affecting your job, do it you dont need a semblance of friendship, just the bare minimum needed for the job if he continues to message you like that, i think you will need to bring it up to a supervisor or boss bc that's work harassment and you can expose him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:02 PM
24

ty youre so right, gotta stop normalizing this shit!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:58 PM
26

what the fuck brent u entitled ugly fuck as an aside: i think that folder is a good idea! might start something like that myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:57 PM
15

lmaooo the exclamation marks had me dead!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:53 PM
8

thank you for this post -- just did a texting cleanse on my phone. i still have to do other apps and photos (ugh so ashamed of pickme-era nudes) but this already felt amazing and like 50lbs lighter. out of sight, out of mind!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:36 PM
9

wow thats a great idea!! i find writing lists always helps me with my mindset. maybe i'll find 50 short term and 50 long term things id rather do than try to find a partner, great addition to my journal :-)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:31 PM
6

hey sis <33 im so glad to read your comment, you describe exactly right the bittersweet behind her gaze, when i know she is thinking of the sacrifices she made for us to be where we are and have a different life than she had. i wish we could come together, my mother my grandma and i, instead of having to play a sort of double agent because they cannot help the competitiveness... i want woman solidarityyyy <333 that would give me life, i want us to love ourselves as much as we love each other
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:19 PM
6

damn youre right some teachers might already have their suspicions. it's really obvious when someone isn't acting professionally, but we're normalized to "mind our own business" if it has to do with a man's reputation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:19 PM
12

i hope i didnt share too much personal info, sorry for the block of text everyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:16 PM
21

unfortunately yes, my mother has many pickemeisha characteristics, although in other ways she is still an inspiration and model to me in her own right. similarly, my parents' relationship is dysfunctional in my opinion and has completely exhausted my mother, she is barely a shell of her older self now, but again there are some aspects of their relationship and values that i hope to reflect in my relationships my mother has lived through so much, and many things in her past explain her behavior a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:16 PM
9

also im so sorry you couldnt sleep last night ❤️❤️❤️ it;s literally so amazing you are finding strength to bring this to light. everyone will thank you, the students, the teachers, the parents, all the women... hopefully this asshole gets fired quick and doesnt cause you any more trauma or problems
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:53 PM
11

i was gonna say the only time it would be too late was if he left the school, but even then it would not!! schools need to have a system in place for this, so that they can evaluate the teacher;s behavior and take necessary precaution in the time it takes to fire his ass and expose him (ETA: what i mean is it should alarm admin and teachers anyway. some will try to bury it but hopefully they would take initiative and organize something to protect students in the future) about schools being onlin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:50 PM
17

lmaoooo 👑👑 love her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:42 PM
22

it hurts because all the disrespect and LV behavior he did to you was undeserved, but remember: you didnt do anything wrong! it was 100% arbitrary because he's too selfcentered to give a damn! so, if you think he might actually be putting effort with someone else, it might make you think it was your fault and that he finds her better than you. but please OP never forget: it doesnt have anything to do with you, his pathetic behavior was never a reflection of your worth, he's just, quite simply, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:39 PM
32

OMG do it do it do it now!!!! since youre graduated they cant threaten you with anything (grades, recommendation letters, passing etc) so unleash fully! good luck sis, all the girls still students will thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:27 PM
10

she shouldve posted on r/Amiwithanasshole instead of wondering AITA.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:20 PM
10

exactlyy, nice for what????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:17 PM
9

lmao that some truth right there !!!! men are entitled to whatever they want
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:15 PM
22

thats the main issue to me: u/AndromedaUntouched you deserve someone who actually likes to spend time with you! when you are stressed, do you want to stay away from the people you love, or your friends? no! spending time with them probably helps you or makes you feel better. to me, it shows that your bf might not see you as a whole person or friend, but as "The Girlfriend": he can come to you for sex, for emotional work (therapy), for whatever other things as long as HE needs it. please dont get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:14 PM
15

and that made him kick her out of her own home??? wtf fuck that guy!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 07:05 PM
37

ugh sorry you have to worry about running into him now, i hope he doesnt harass or stalk you at the park
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:54 PM
58

that comment is so fucked up, i hope the OP doesnt take it seriously or let it affect her ETA: pure gaslighting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:49 PM
83

u/ThrowawayRA_advice1 fr girl, we are not exaggerating, get rid of his creepy ass! you know he is setting a tone to the relationship. do you see yourself with this guy another year? another 5 years? do you think he will stop or change his behavior? he is on track to being the creepy 40yo uncle who feels up his pubescent nieces at the family function if you hate that society sexualizes teenage girls, do not normalize, dismiss, or make excuses for it! #KickHimOut2020 you deserve better than pornsi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:48 PM
28

ugh so so true!! it made me doubt myself so much it's almost like i forgot who i was, i lost confidence in my decisions and reasoning, felt like a shell of my past self
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 06:25 PM
2

fr, i used to want to think of sex and love as separate but that automatically makes sex transactional where each party needs to get something out of it. i now try to embrace sex as an expression of passion and love. havent had sex since joining fds tho lets see 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 05:34 PM
8

💯💯 saved this post, such a common habit ingrained in us, needs to be consciously unlearned. we been on it 👑💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 04:29 PM
7

forgot to add my mother is a BIG excuser of men, does so much free labor, my brother is her clear favourite, she puts up with my father, all of these have clear reasons bc of her past and i do not resent or blame her at all, but as you said it's just such a common thing and it's not good for her overall :-(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 04:26 PM
7

OMG my family is the same, my mother and grandma have such a strong tension and they keep one-up each other, it's exhausting. and they judge the parenting, the kids, the cooking, the body/beauty, etc. of all my aunts and female relatives :-( i think part of it is that theyve lived through so much, the only solace of their suffering is the wisdom they get from the harmful experiences, so now they know all about How to be a Woman, if that makes sense? it's a pride thing and a validation of their e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 04:23 PM
3

this is so on point and so helpful to me, thank you so much for writing it 💜🖤💕 as i went down the list i thought "damn this one is the one that applies most to me" for each one i read 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 03:00 PM
9

in my opinion men keep some of their manners and basic decency for select parts of the population, namely other men, especially if they admire them. unfortunately, they hate us, and theyve always seen women as less than man, which is why they treat us as such
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 02:55 PM
2

ive never used a dating app. in the past, I've initially met men through friends or intersecting social circles, at college and at work during the pandemic, im just not dating and enjoying the time freed up by not thinking about men 😇 i like to think of it as being consistent with my hobbies: lots of stuff are still closed where i am and it's still not safe to live normally, so ive just dealt with not going to yoga studios or going out dancing bc it's not a hobby thats safe right now. just like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 02:25 PM
4

not based. it could be a woman trying to make the best of a horrible situation, saving up money to leave him i hope, but im sad to hear a sister's stuck with an entitled, probably ugly and cheap scrote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 03:07 AM
7

prostitution is real money tho 😅 this woman is getting scammed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 02:56 AM
11

fr it sounds so fake 😅🙄 and ur friend fell for it hard!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 12:44 AM
8

thanks for the rec i'm gonna look for it!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/20 04:33 PM
3

oh yes been pulling it together, enjoying being single and working on myself! ty girl 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 07:39 PM
9

i feel the same way. i used to describe it as feeling empty or dead inside. sometimes, when the guy was particularly violent and kicks me out 10min after he comes, it would take me a day to recover psychologically, it was like i turned mute and was always on the verge of crying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:49 PM
46

succinct and on point 👍👍 loved the comment on drunk driving not being normalized, gonna use that comparison in the future!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:34 AM
12

wow how tf did he think that was a good thing to say. i bet he'll be like "U cAnT tAkE a cOmPLiMeNt"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:08 AM
12

💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:05 AM
32

i swear 80% of the time men act irrational is when they cant deal with their ego or with being "a bad guy" in their selfcentered narrated shitty movie of a life. zero efforts into growth or dealing with the tough shit of life, they wanna be born perfect and always right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 04:02 AM
20

😒 it's bc it doesnt mean anything. he is probably projecting someone he knows or not over his ex 🤷🏾‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:43 AM
46

ugh why do they want us to be cute little girls. fr your drawings have so much character! clear talent and skill 👑 (also: saw pics of ur cats omg 💜💖💕)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:39 AM
5

what the fuck??? 6 weeks and 3 years ago, straight up harassment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:28 AM
24

😂😂😂😭 omg ily
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:24 AM
146

also: 2 weeks?? a boy can dream 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:24 AM
32

😂😂😂🚮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:21 AM
54

hes a lawyer?? assumed it was a college frat boy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:20 AM
10

wtf im so sorry hes so horrible. thats peak male arrogance: assuming their apologies are worth a damn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:19 AM
43

this is all about him him him, doesnt even use word like "abusive", doesnt mention the fucked up thing he did... he just gave u a "cold shoulder"??? didnt have enough "unconditional love"????
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:17 AM
47

omfg im fucking BLINDED by his EGO 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:17 AM
9

thats fucked up, no sense of reality at all. sorry that happened 💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 01:09 AM
17

ugh that sounds so frustrating. i hate people who want to be right all the time and argue with you until you apologize when u never did anything wrong. they just wanna make themselves the victim
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 10:56 PM
157

last guy i was with literally started crying bc he was convinced he was on my "shit list" of POS men... not because he wanted to keep me or anything, just because he hated to know that someone doesnt like him. he literally cant physically think of anyone but himself 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:52 PM
5

🤮🤮 wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 08:48 PM
3

pickmeishas are probably the type of people who think that police and army are courageous jobs 🚮🐷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:42 PM
3

good for you, have a cookie. i hope he picks you 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:07 PM
2

1) theres enough subs on reddit about bdsm, so it's not a big deal to exclude it from this sub. just go there for that. 2) "debating" or even talking about bdsm like you want to in this thread is already taking up space instead of posting sm useful to help and support each other or share information to make ourselves stronger. just read the facts in the handbook and respect the space and the kinds of conversations we want to have here 3) bdsm is already normalized and mainstream, and mainstream …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 06:04 PM
10

af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 05:46 PM
8

nooooo poor honey 😢 im legit scared for her physical and psychological wellbeing 💔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 03:20 PM
20

i would bet on this being a man. also love your first point, it shows how a lotta people (esp on reddit) bc of their fetish of Rationality and pseudoscience think that spouting statistics is on its own a deciding argument. you can dig up any number to align with any stupid point but it will still be dumb as fuck lol and logically impotent
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 03:14 PM
6

damn was so sure it was fake. sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 03:09 PM
7

so true, gotta remember this quote. is the rest of the book as good?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 03:04 PM
11

thats so on point, men dont see us as whole humans, being a potential girlfriend already brings up their emotional issues where they forget basic dignity and respect for others. idk what it is, their brain shuts off
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 02:59 PM
2

just watched it and omgg shes hilarious and has such a great personality, and her voice is absolutely breathtaking!!! truly so amazing 👑👑 i loved her dancing with her son at the end too so sweet 💕 her song picks went from the nobody supposed to be here remix to church choir 😂😂😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 01:44 AM
41

fr. it's part of how they discredit us: all our interests or wants are frivolous, women are stupid etc. it's bc they dont see us as whole human beings who are capable to experience life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:43 AM
13

exciting ur getting cats!! 💕 all i wanted to comment is that i loved how you used "emotionally constipated" 😂 omg u had me deadd had a similar thing with the last guy i was with, i was saying "i hope u fix your emotional problem" and he got hurt i called it that lmao sorry im out of pity to give the frustrating thing is that they know theyre being assholes. youd expected them to research distant attachment style, or go to therapy for their mommy issues, and at least try to fight for you and comm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/20 12:40 AM
7

ugh i hate that this happens. i really try to convince my siblings and dad but it's so hard to get through, especially to my brother and dad. it's more than just for my mom, wont they feel horrible as she gets older and loses all her strength and is close to death? it's already been hard seeing her weaken and have health issues, the strong woman we have in our minds. i know they will regret it in the future and they will want to have lived differently. it's even for their own sanity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 07:21 PM
42

fr, how did he pick that photo, either looked for black woman stock photos or stole from insta without consent for his shit blog, which has happened to a friend of mine separate note: i love her earrings!! wanna get some like those
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 03:15 PM
3

omg ty for mentioning her im obsessed with inayah now!! shes so amazing 👑👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:00 AM
6

bloqh' bloqh' bloqh'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:36 AM
52

lmao exactly wtf, basic necessity of employment is not the same as his ridiculous requirements
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:31 AM
10

i agree w this. OP, if youre feeling a bit off by his behavior, he might be lovebombing you and trying to make you trust him and bond with him quickly so that he gets emotional or sexual benefits. honestly, id say trust your gut! if you think this is more on you than on him, then yes work out your psychology with the books recommended ^ if it might actually be on him, and he's being too forward, you can be vigilant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:29 AM
12

it's your choice, if you have the patience/urge do it, but it might make him more entitled and expect justifications from any woman he meets after you. you dont want to find yourself in a situation where you are asked to explain yourself while he counters everything you say and gaslights you or puts you in a concessions position. theres nothing to negotiate or explain, so text should be quicker, clearer, and simpler
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 03:23 AM
1

bernie was seen as the scary far left. rightwing news make fun of biden as being weak and senile (which he is). nothing scary or left about him saying left politics is as bad as right politics is just sloppy and dishonest. "democrats and republicans are the same" is a totally different statement, and is accurate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 05:04 PM
2

if those men are anti-feminist then they are, by definition of feminism as a progressive left-wing movement, anti-leftist. if they claim to be feminist but as you said are misogynists, then they are not representative of any kind of leftism 🤷🏾 i totally agree that there are men who lie about their beliefs and who they are to take advantage of us, but i find truth in their actions not their words
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 08:03 PM
-1

no leftists have not been doing that. as the comment above you said, the myth of "leftists pushing polyamory and destroying our family values" has been a right-wing propaganda talking point since the 19th c. leftist politics is about changing the capitalist status quo. movements like communism, socialism, democratic socialism, anarchism, all address serious socioeconomic issues like the exploitation of the working class, war and prison industrial complex, racism, commodification of people... the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:55 PM
1

thanks for setting the record straight comrade, couldnt have said it better myself. this thread is a hot mess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:47 PM
-2

wow at the willful ignorance and strawman wrt your first two sentences. what leftist wants women to be public property?? who the fuck are you talking about lmao ridiculous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:45 PM
-1

postcolonialism is not a leftist political movement, it's an academic analysis, kinda like critical theory. if you are an academic in postcolonial studies, you spend your time reading heavy theory by the likes of fanon and said. maybe you meant independence movements in ex-colonies?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:42 PM
1

is that anecdote relevant? biden is in no way and has never been part of the left. his politics and actions have always been anti-left
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 07:18 PM
20

is it bad i kinda cant think of video games as a hobby? to me it's like saying "drinking is my hobby"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 04:37 AM
35

omg WHAT men are such children
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 03:11 AM
1

yo i love seeing comments like yours on this sub. fds is a community that thinks critically fr
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 03:06 AM
16

damn almost... belongs on selfawarewolves
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 07:02 PM
5

ugh i feel you, im sorry that happened. my therapist kept pushing this narrative of how i cant get intimate with people, she made up a whole theory already and she keeps wanting to talk about it despite the fact that im ok with being single rn. im in fact happy to be single, def not in the mindset to date or be with someone. she kept bringing up my last date that didnt go anywhere, overanalyzing it, wouldnt take my dismissal of it seriously until i told her it was just an impossible match: the g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 06:36 AM
4

that guy telling u a reason ur not perfect is negging you. dont waste your energy on assholes. this whole post is examples of people around you perpetuating societal expectations by scaring you into thinking you wont find a man and that not having a man is bad 1) you will find your person when the time is right. theres no need for pressuring you like this. there is no imaginary clock ticking somewhere 2) you shouldnt let them trick you into worrying about satisfying men. men arent a necessity no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 06:21 AM
37

wdym it's a whole clown show
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:33 PM
3

hey! welcome :-) i think you can make your own post with a seeking advice tag, or shorten the writeup to comment on a thread like this one
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:16 AM
4

same here, fds has been such a supportive community 💜🖤💖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:11 AM
6

💕 u got it sis! 💪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 05:10 AM
9

i dont think it's fair to talk about "the real you". we all have different lifestyles and jobs that call for varying levels of attention to appearance. to me, dates are an opportunity to look nicer than usual and i dont think it's obscuring "the real me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 06:38 PM
2

damn that sounds on point, i'm gonna check out the video. my 12 year old sister scrolls tiktok all day and im so worried :-(( because i know what the internet pushed me to try and how it screwed my perception of self
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 05:03 PM
10

ofc i totally agree with the disconnect between our efforts and men's, not only in appearances but in all aspects of dating. but i think it'd be too easy for scrotes to use this video and argue that it's not their fault "women are crazy/doing too much!! when i say casual i mean it, not my fault they wanna look perfect" we all know they dont actually want us to lower our efforts at all, their egos love how the world is tailored to their whims and fantasies. i wish she landed on a different conclu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 04:40 PM
3

rooting for u sis! <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 04:08 AM
4

ive actually never heard that before, ty! it's concise and insightful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 04:06 AM
1

the mods will find your posts and add you a flair. if it takes more than a week you can message the mods to remind them! welcome :-)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 04:03 AM
13

it makes me cry to think of my 12 year old sister's coming years. i will help her as much as i can but i know some things are beyond my protection
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 04:27 PM
12

🤮🤮 stopp i cant even make myself read the whole paragraph
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 04:53 AM
29

also congrats on getting out of that relationship!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 04:39 AM
108

omg you JUST got out of a 6 year toxic relationship, id totally take this time to relax and recover, enjoy being with my self 💕 also im so mad at you saying the clock is ticking at 26!! check out the handbook if you havent already, it gave me the confidence to know theres no rush to put up with idiots on OLD. men are a dessert not a necessity! and thats only fine men 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 04:39 AM
2

i would personally love a curated playlist of music that he either knows i would like or music that made him think of me :-)) my favorite present would be a few books that align with my interests. i exclusively go to second hand bookstores, so finding multiple books that i would enjoy takes a lot of searching and time
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:32 PM
14

omg every single one of these were used in the thread on subspace today 🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 01:21 AM
2

your original sentence-long comment didnt have a link before you edited it. if you dont care about labels, why are you focused on the use of "BDSM" in this post if you understand what is meant. obviously this thread is about women being in subspace, not FLRs again, if you are in a bdsm relationship that works for you, FLR or not, good for you. use whatever label you want
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 08:17 PM
1

sure, endorphins can be caused by a multitude of things including pain, exercise, music, meditation.. OP doesn't deny that pain can trigger endorphins release and a good feeling of euphoria. it can happen outside of sexual contexts too (tattoos, piercings.. acupuncture possibly?) i understood the point to be on subspace specifically: how is it different from dissociating? subspace is more than just an intense endorphin response similar to a runner's high, since it might imply a loss of words or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 08:10 PM
3

sure, and when we say "men suck", people can answer "not all men" 🤷 it's mostly true that society mostly pushes women to be submissive, which manifests in many women commending subspace, which as far as we can tell is hard to distinguish from dissociation (the point of this thread), which is definitely bad for our mental health! if you have a bdsm relationship that works for you, good for you sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 07:54 PM
2

the link is about being assertive or "going with the flow" in sex -- that isn't really relevant to what OP is talking about?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 07:30 PM
25

yes exactly. if you have many stressful things in your life at the moment, you might want to escape by dissociating... it's so unhealthy 😓 i wish i could speak to my former self -- she was so broken
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 04:18 PM
51

ugh i really think this is true, and it's so fucking sad... that's why "sub drop" is almost always experienced: you didn't stop dissociating. i tried to find articles on this, if anyone has anything please share! all i found was this old reddit post where they openly acknowledge it's hard to distinguish subspace from dissociating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 03:51 PM
60

40% 🐷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:13 AM
3

online dating -- check out the sub wikis and handbook, lots of tips there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 08:44 PM
6

yess thats exactly it, ty for putting it that way! i couldnt find the right words last time i was 'arguing' w an asshole
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 01:08 AM
7

🧐🤨🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 12:16 AM
3

omg tysm for sharing. i def needed it -- im guilty of all 5 things 🤡 gonna check out the rest of her channel also shes so gorgeous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 06:45 PM
1

skip ahead, shes speaking truth!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 06:43 PM
4

id hope to think it would look like when you have a disagreement with a best friend: you feel comfortable being fully honest and theres never any disrespect, you feel better after talking things out not worse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 06:29 PM
3

ugh yes ive been told word for word what the american man was saying, before and after
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 06:20 PM
1

sounds like a fun workout! im going to try interval sprinting, that should challenge me for a while 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:04 PM
1

same boat! 🏃‍♀️ do you know of any program / routine to follow? i know i can run 5 miles at 9-10min pace but the same route gets boring and i dont feel like im progressing bc i cant go faster esp now thats it's hotter out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 04:42 PM
2

man so much empty talk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:55 AM
2

oof good instincts sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:42 AM
27

OH MY GOD so fucking selfcentered
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 05:34 AM
7

i do agree with your first point, but idk in the same way you filter people off their profiles, having a friend of a friend ask you out on a cute date is already showing more serious interest in you than an OLD match that maybe didnt have clear red flags on profile but took a couple days of chatting to show he's emotionally unavailable. yea you catch on to it and dismiss him bc you learnt to see through the bs, but you can learn to do that irl too also in OLD you go through a much higher volume …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 12:15 AM
4

ive been thinking along the lines ur describing. i havent tried OLD ever yet so i figure it would be as you say good "practice" at discerning red flags and being blunt etc, and undoing my pickme habits but even the idea of dealing with men online is just exhausting. the fact that it's gonna be filled w low effort trolls already makes me unwilling. im not on social media and lack that kind of skill so im really thinking it's just not gonna work for me anyway im kinda torn, any ladies in a similar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:55 PM
5

eyy im kind of on the same page. im 23 and ofc my thoughts might change over the next decade or so. i dont think i could take birthing a being into this world, physically or psychologically (maybe even "morally"). but i have worked with children before and absolutely love spending time with them! for now i could only see myself adopting if i feel confident in my life partner, they should be as caring and passionate about the idea of family as me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:25 PM
3

i had bad experiences with this (admittedly it was a very LVM ... too embarrassed to say more). even if he has a car and will drive you around, you dont wanna find yourself depending on him for escape if ur at his place and something goes wrong, it made me more likely to be passive and to do wtv he preferred, esp wrt scheduling. hour long train ride wouldnt feel too good either and i wouldnt admit to myself that it just put me in a tired mood. if he has the habit/money to use cab services and wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:47 AM
1

40% 🐷🐷
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:33 AM
2

i hope im being that person to my sister 🖤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:29 AM
4

omgg 😭😭😭 to a T
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 03:07 AM
2

yea ofc i try to control stress for my mental and physical health. i wouldnt say im trying to keep a cool girl cover, im done doing that and trying to be appealing, im just gonna be honest with other people and with myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 04:47 AM
2

thanks for sharing! for each question i was wondering is my answer different from my pickmeisha past self?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:03 AM
2

i hope you're doing better overall and having a smooth recovery.. im sorry that happened to you, it's so incredibly childish. he couldn't even be a friend to you, it's not even about committing to a "Serious Relationship". it's like being a girlfriend is lesser than just being a friend. wouldn't he have checked on his bros after surgery???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:19 AM
4

lmao "very easily overwhelmed" i love it! i recently ended a budding thing with a guy for this sort of selfish hot and cold shit. in our "breakup" conversation over the phone, i absolutely loved referring to his "emotional problems" and "irrational behavior", calling it as i see it! he wanted me to find another way of saying it lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:14 AM
2

hey, im sorry to read all this :-( thanks for sharing.. i really felt this part: It took years of unpacking to understand that my influence was not absolute and quit blaming myself. That society, family dynamic and my son’s innate inability to see people as people are factors. That my son had all the tools, reasons and upbringing to respect me but did not. I didn’t fail - son made choices from a wide range of experiences, good, bad and in between. because i came to a similar realization about my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 07:45 PM
2

yup and mothers can teach that too by only teaching and asking for help from the daughters and never from the sons
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 07:38 PM
2

in my opinion fds addresses the larger problems with covert sexism,, misogyny thats in all stages of modern dating and relationships. these problems are sadly ingrained in us and explain why women react in quite predictable ways such as pickmeishas, mothering/nurturing, lowering our standards, putting up with bs etc. the principles that fds encourages are beneficial to anyone recognizing that these are patterns that need to be stopped, called out, unlearned and uprooted from our conceptions of o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 07:33 PM
2

damn great guide, should be its own post! just saved it. thank you sis <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 07:14 PM
1

same!! just found this sub this week and it's putting into words exactly how i feel about everything. already changed how im behaving with this guy, and been sending fds memes to my friends too (y)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 06:54 PM
1

damn thats whack. ive never tried online dating before.. i suppose i shouldnt try tinder. would yall recommend any of the other apps?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 06:09 PM
2

omg what an asshole, im sorry that happened to you </3 whats the deal with men never getting over body types and preferences they got used to when they were 12
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 01:24 AM
1

^ exactly! if u wont feel proud of your growth then i will for you <33 i also sometimes get in this cringe headspace remembering how i was, but ultimately i try to remind myself it's both normal and a good thing to be looking back and recognizing how much you've changed (for the better!). also, it's totally not your fault society set us up to seek validation so much -- we're fighting this together! fwiw, i wouldnt even swear off talking about it ever again, you dont know who it might help to hea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 04:50 AM
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