"I will kill us both"

Throwaway account as my (soon to be ex) s/o knows my main.

For context: A week ago, my s/o and I were driving to see his family in a different state. This was set to be an 8 hour drive. From the beginning of the drive, he began to instigate an argument focused on my "negative mood" in the days prior. FWIW I did not believe that I had been exhibiting a disposition or attitude that was particularly "negative" or divergent from my normal "mood".

As I begin to ask clarifying questions to understand why he felt this way, he became increasingly enraged. He started calling me names, insulting me, and quickly flying off the handle.

It's important to note that at the time it was pouring rain - blinding rain - in heavy traffic, and we were mini hydroplaning every minute or so. He is already prone to road rage and for this reason I have typically avoided long car rides with him.

After what seemed like an hour of this behavior, he said (read: Banshee screamed), "I will run us off the road and kill us both right now".

He guttural screamed this not once, but twice. He continued to scream at me while I sat there quiet - trying to figure out to best handle this off the rails man, in a moving car going 80+ mph, in a storm, hours from home. His family lives in a small rural town without an airport, my only choice was to stay in the car, endure the weekend, and return home with him.

In these quiet moments, I recalled a story in which he told me he had done the exact same thing to his mother - during an argument on a car ride. When hearing this story for the first time, I naively thought that had he grown as a person and that he would never do this to me as well.

My takeaway from this is to believe someone when they tell you who they are - the first time.

Also, IF THEY DO IT TO THEIR MOTHER, they will do it to you as well - no doubt.

I did not believe the red flags but now I know better. Thank you to this community for showing me the importance of vetting and walking away when BRIGHT red flags present themselves. I may have fell short this time, but I now know better going forward.

*We do live together and I am actively figuring out how to leave as soon as possible with my dog.