TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

surfinfan21 Archive

View 8 posts and 260 comments by surfinfan21 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Dude get some perspective. I’m not even disagreeing with you about obtaining the benefits of marriage elsewhere. But calling a women you assumingely disagree with philosophically a feminist as an insult is extremely demeaning and not cool. And if this place is such a shit show then why are you here? If you want to stick around, why not try and fix it. But please don’t bring your sexism with you. For the record, I’ve seen plenty of male judges do old school things with custody and many female jud…
/r/seduction22/05/20 05:14 PM
2

Read my next comment. I’m not here to convince anyone to get married or not get married, but when you talk about serious legal decisions such as marriage you can’t talk in absolutes. It’s not a scam. It’s not for everybody. But you never know who is reading this stuff and you should be careful about how you present your thoughts. I think you have a lot of valid knowledge to share. Whether that’s from personal experience or not, I would be open to hear about it if you took a more subdued tone and…
/r/seduction22/05/20 12:51 PM
2

Read my next comment. I talk all about PoA.
/r/seduction22/05/20 12:48 PM
4

What!? None of those issues are exclusive to marriages. All of those issues would be there regardless of whether or not your married. What do you define as worse? Because in reality divorce law is very fair. How do you get screwed?
/r/seduction22/05/20 12:41 AM
8

Sure. But think about it practically too. And the best example is why gay right advocates were pushing for same sex marriage. Sure except for tax advantages everything else you can do legally through various documents. Will’s, 401k beneficiaries, etc. But, imagine your loved one gets into a car accident and is rushed to the ICU. You’re at work. God knows where the medical power of attorney is. You rush home to get it, before getting to the hospital. The entire time not knowing what is happening.…
/r/seduction21/05/20 10:57 PM
25

Dude wtf are you talking about? I'm an attorney and did divorce work for a few years. Being married still has many advantages, There are also many disadvantages for two committed people to not be legally married. What happens if one person gets sick. That second person has no power to do anything to help them from a legal perspective. This is the wackiest thing I've read in a long time.
/r/seduction21/05/20 09:23 PM
57

My fiancé and I broke up approximately 6 months ago and that relationship felt just like this. Especially this sentence: We’ve done all we can to function as a family unit, the smiles in the photographs mask the reality of life, the evenings spent apart on our phones, the resentment, the emotional distance between us, the same routine, the lust of one not reciprocated, always sending the first text, always buying the nicest cards, always giving the first hug, always initiating intimacy, always t…
/r/seduction15/05/20 05:08 PM
4

This is a great example that I’m sure will hit home for a lot of guys. And it’s another example of what more experience men talk about all the time. It’s about being authentic to yourself. Right? If she tells you she just wants to be friends you should be thankful that she’s being so honest with you. Now you have to ask yourself a tough question. Do you want to be friends with this girl or are just looking for a hookup? Either way just be authentic and honest.
/r/seduction15/05/20 12:56 AM
2

Why this has any upvotes is completely beyond me.
/r/seduction13/05/20 11:14 PM
1

I love the mental chatter part. Appreciate it.
/r/seduction30/04/20 08:04 PM
8

Very well put. I‘be been struggling with this my entire life. Despite outward appearances of success, I have constant anxiety about whether the “right choices” I’ve made were right for me. Most of the time they weren’t Any tips on engaging that inner authentic self?
/r/seduction30/04/20 07:19 PM
19

r/stoicism
/r/seduction30/04/20 07:17 PM
2

Haha. Thanks. And I’ll check that out.
/r/seduction25/04/20 08:14 PM
3

Any tips on practicing to speak slower and lower?
/r/seduction24/04/20 10:13 PM
5

Again, asking here will not lead you anywhere, the posts should be more about experiences and tips people could use, where people can learn more about it, dump them and go try what they have in their heads. I've said this multiple times on this sub. I couldn't agree more with this statement. Field Reports are my favorite thing. When I first found this sub about 10 years ago every other post was a field report. Honestly, a lot of them sounded made up, but it didn't matter to me. Field Reports are…
/r/seduction17/04/20 07:10 PM
3

It's simple in theory but for a lot of guys its all about unwinding years and years of learned behavior. In its simplest form push pull is no different than how you would tease a girl when you were in kindergarten. As a society, boys have been trained to discard that type of behavior and as a result most of us are terrible at it. Worse we feel uncomfortable doing it.
/r/seduction17/04/20 06:55 PM
2

For me what worked best was watching Craig Ferguson flirting highlight clips on YouTube before every date. A mixture of seeing how it is done right plus practice worked really well for me. What you quickly realize is that it has less to do with the canned lines and perfect phrases and has more to do with highlighting your personality. For me, I'm very light hearted, fun, and smile a lot. I play those attributes up. This is important and it goes to OPs point. This is how I am and will always be. …
/r/seduction17/04/20 06:52 PM
1

Fair enough. I do say all of that after learning quite a bit. But at the same time there was a lot of stuff I learned here that is absolutely useless for me because it’s now my seduction technique. Honestly one of the most useful techniques I learned just watching Craig Furguson YouTube videos from his show.
/r/seduction14/04/20 05:18 PM
13

PUA has basically evaporated as far as I know. When I first came to this sub over 7 years ago it was nothing but PUA. It has transferred to a focus on self-improvement/lifestyle minded. What are you looking for specifically? You can search for some old PUA stuff in this sub but it's likely not very helpful.
/r/seduction14/04/20 03:11 PM
41

You are certainly right. Reddit also really tends to highlight your own personal biases. In terms of r/seduction I don't come here for the PUA lines and tactics. There isn't some magical phrase or eye contact you can do to seduce a woman. However, it is really about being in a flow state, being your best self, and just putting yourself out there. So for me, I love hearing about other people's experience and reading field reports. A lot of times people try to extrapolate a scenario that worked fo…
/r/seduction14/04/20 02:04 PM
2

If you want success with any woman, you make respect the first thing you establish in the relationship. Don't worry about her liking you, don't worry about getting the pussy. Because a man who is respected and admired in his relationship will have a steady flow of pussy coming in when he wants it. If his woman is not legitimately not feeling well and not in the mood to have sex, she will make it up to him when she recovers or give him head as an alternative. Your self respect is what makes you a…
/r/seduction13/04/20 02:46 PM
2

I'm a freedom lover. As long as someone does not force their will upon me or vice versa, they should be able to do whatever they want. No. You're an idiot. And you're also incredibly dense and inconsiderate. But since asymptomatic people can never know, it doesn't matter that I'm gettint groceries or not, we still go outside. I'm not living my life based off of what if. Apparently you know better than the WHO and the CDC. You clearly don't understand that you can unwittingly spread this to other…
/r/seduction10/04/20 04:29 PM
2

You’re ignoring all of the other people in the world. What about someone who has to go to the grocery store because they can’t get delivery? There’s no delivery in my area right now because the demand is so high. That person now has a higher chance of getting the disease because people like you don’t stay the hell inside.
/r/seduction10/04/20 03:57 PM
2

You’re just wrong though. You’re risking other people’s life too. You can be an asystematic carrier of the disease. If you run into an older adult who has to leave their house to get groceries you can spread it to them. That is why almost every country in the world has a shelf in place order. Don’t be so dense that your actions only affect you.
/r/seduction10/04/20 03:48 PM
1

till I finally said ok maybe I can use some help. As soon as I did that, every area above accelerated. You mind if I ask what type of help you are talking about? I've been curious about seeking out a professional mentor but not exactly sure how to go about something like that.
/r/seduction10/04/20 03:18 PM
1

till I finally said ok maybe I can use some help. As soon as I did that, every area above accelerated. I'd recommend checking out r/personalfinace. Some great basic information.
/r/seduction10/04/20 03:16 PM
0

This was actually pretty great. A lot of stuff in here that I've been working on myself. I learned a lot of these lessons the hard way, costing me a LTR, but a lot of these principals are applicable for while you are in a LTR and while you are just casually hooking up. She can also test you by trying to get lots of things from you. You have to draw a line in order to show you are not a pushover. Be nice and do things for her (she's your girlfriend and you - presumably - care about and respect he…
/r/seduction10/04/20 03:08 PM
2

If you're willing to risk HIV, Chlamydia, murder, robbery, on a regular date or casual sex, you can risk it on a virus you don't know if someone else has. There's no difference in my eyes. This is why you're getting down voted. It is extremely selfish and dangerous. It's not like HIV, Chlamydia and Murder. 1) HIV is not airborne and 2) If I get HIV or murdered my entire house doesn't also get HIV and murdered. Absolutely do not be going on random dates with strangers right now. Taking some time …
/r/seduction10/04/20 02:45 PM
3

You missed another worst case: Do nothing and post on /seddit about beta bf's. Which coincidently is what you're doing.
/r/seduction10/04/20 02:41 PM
2

I appreciate that. This sub is really great. I didn't always know what I wanted. It took a lot of reflection and I'm continuously looking inward.
/r/seduction09/04/20 04:40 PM
30

I love the positivity. I'm like this in most areas of my life, except dating. I could lose my job and my first thought is, "okay, awesome, time to start my dream job!" I don't know why when it comes to dating I get so thirsty. Definitely something I am going to keep in mind and try to focus on. Thanks!
/r/seduction09/04/20 01:54 PM
14

Good reflection. Rereading my post it comes off very vein and superficial. I meant all other things being held equal. Basically comparing two girls that have the same personality, interests, ect. It did make me pause and think though. I just got out of a 7 year relationship where we were engaged for 2 years. I felt like I was settling in areas of the relationship and that has kind of been the focus on my growth. Being a bit more assertive and definitive in the things that I’m looking for. Using …
/r/seduction09/04/20 12:09 PM
10

Do you think it could also just have to do with difficulty level and settling? My few girlfriends and my fiancé were 8s. But the girls I hook up with tend to be 5-6s. I just started to reflect on the last few girls I hooked up with. With online dating I match with a lot of women. Usually end up getting only getting the 5-6s to actually meet up. Then the girls I’ve meet IRL are usually through friends. And my friends’ friends are usually not that good looking. To pull in hotter women I’m sure I’d…
/r/seduction09/04/20 11:15 AM
2

Wow really cool. Any tips for making a move like that? I just turned 30 and realized I’m heading down a life path that I don’t want. I moved from NY to Boston for school and kind of got stuck here. I really want to pick up everything and move to California. I don’t even know where to start. It was easy when school was my excuse to move. But finding a job across such a far distance seems daunting. I can’t imagine moving to a different country.
/r/seduction07/04/20 03:11 PM
5

I’d start by reading this post.
/r/seduction19/03/20 11:36 AM
6

I think your take on the dating scene is accurate from what I’ve seen too. And the women who were hot when they were younger are really struggling now. They enjoyed being hot and jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend. Now all the good guys are gone and they’re not as hot as they use to be. I have a good feeling about my thirties.
/r/seduction17/03/20 02:22 AM
27

As a guy who just turned thirty I feel personally attacked lol. But I have my shit together and just got out of a 7 year relationship that started in law school. But I get what you’re saying and I agree. There’s actually really few men and women who are actually worth dating. That’s why divorce rates were so high for baby boomers and why so many younger generations are just staying single. Without the need for a spouse to support you it’s really tough to settle down with someone when you can see…
/r/seduction17/03/20 02:03 AM
2

I wouldn’t use the word retaliation. Putting her in her place, retaliation etc. all implies that you are over invested in a girl that 1) you don’t know and 2) is not into you. It’s just the wrong mentality. Instead stay true to you’re wealth and just move on. The minute you feel like you have to “show her” you’re already invested in her more than she is into you.
/r/seduction07/03/20 05:09 PM
6

Don’t. This is honesty pretty crappy advice. You have. You can be direct without being a dick. “Put her in her place.” ?? Women are allowed to not be interested in us. Instead, I say “Hey listen, I’m really digging you and I’d love to get to know you more. Let’s go out Saturday night.” If it’s a yes great go have a good time. If it’s no or indecisive than move along. Simple as that.
/r/seduction07/03/20 01:49 PM
1

why ask for the kiss? It depends on the situation. Right? If you’re at the club, it’s loud, and she’s dry humping you on the dance floor, I’d go right in for the kiss. If we were walking through the park and we were flirting just a bit with some hot cold signs, most men would just throw in the towel. Give a hug at the goodby and that’d be the end of it. Going in for a kiss might be to forward given the environment and the IOIs. But none of that means she doesn’t want to kiss you. But since the m…
/r/seduction28/02/20 04:19 AM
3

I understand your concern. For me the value I get from this sub is the reinforcement to just get out there and live. When I need to get into the zone, either before a date or when I’m not really feeling myself, I’ll come here and read a few of my favorite posts about mindset and just getting out there. That’s why I love success stories and field reports. I don’t even really care if they’re real. I basically throw all the PUA shit to the side. Having a pick up line never works unless you already …
/r/seduction28/02/20 01:30 AM
54

Okay. I didn’t believe you. I took a quick look at your post history. You were actually downvoted and someone actually recommended you ask her if she was autistic. And that person was upvoted! Wtf? The problem with this sub is that there are way more virgins and amateurs than there are experienced men. Dumb advice that would never work gets upvoted because it makes people feel good. Truth is most people don’t want to put in the hard work. Instead they come to this feel good sub to convince thems…
/r/seduction27/02/20 11:49 AM
3

Appreciate the response. What’s really interesting is you started with “know you’re worth.” For me in a lot of different areas I get a strong sense of impostor syndrome. I wonder if that correlates to women at all.
/r/seduction25/02/20 05:52 PM
10

Any recommendations on the not being dependent on other people’s opinions part? I feel like that’s the biggest obstacle for me right now. A shitty trait that transcends many areas of my life.
/r/seduction25/02/20 04:18 PM
4

Wow this is so true. I’ve come a long way but I just realized although I’m a very positive person I I do rely on others and external stimuli. Fuck.
/r/seduction07/02/20 11:47 PM
24

This thread is fucking amazing. There are more bad posts then good. But I stick around for the few posts that really motivate me to get off my ass and meet beautiful women. I have no problem talking to almost anybody. But for some reason I get all tense when I’m about to strike up a conversation with someone I’m attracted too. For better or for worse this sub has helped remind me to get out there.
/r/seduction05/02/20 12:16 AM
1

Great post. I really need to commit to this too. I’ve gotten a lot better but I still have not made a ton of approaches to women I’m attracted to. I’m much more confident talking to men or women older than me. How did most of your interactions go? That was the one thing I’d like to hear more about. I’m looking forward to your updates.
/r/seduction03/02/20 05:56 PM
2

If you’re ever in Boston I’m always down to go out, dance, and meet girls. I absolutely love dancing. I do have one group of friends that always call me up when they want to go dancing. I’ve noticed that I’ve been the right mindset a lot more these days with the exception of just a few days. I’ve noticed that it seems to be directly correlated to days that I am genuinely happy. I went through a pretty big life change recently breaking up with my fiancé, changing jobs and moving. But I haven’t be…
/r/seduction29/01/20 11:18 PM
12

Awesome post. For me it’s all about getting in the right mindset. I have huge confidence problems despite being relatively successful with women. For me I have to get into the right state of mind and into the flow to harness my confidence. It makes the biggest difference in the world though. Also I love going out by myself. None of my friends like going out to meet women. So I basically have always done it solo. There’s something fun about sitting at a bar all night and meeting new people. Even …
/r/seduction25/01/20 02:19 AM
1

I get you’re younger but movies, concerts (sit down) and dinner are terrible dates no matter the age because they take your attention away from each other and leave no room for escalation. I’d scalp her up and say hey listen I actually can’t do the move. Can we bump our date back a little bit and do X. Then pick something fun like mini golf, a club, Dave and busters or another video arcade place ( my top pick for you). Then go into it and be fun a flirty. Tease her when she beats you or loses to…
/r/seduction22/01/20 01:34 AM
2

See my other comment. I was thinking of r/NMMNG “no more mr. nice guy” which is basically the recovery room for r/niceguy.
/r/seduction17/01/20 07:27 PM
1

Hahah. I just clicked the link I was thinking of r/NMMNG. “No More Mr. Nice Guy.” I have no idea what r/niceguys was. Holy hell that shits hilarious.
/r/seduction17/01/20 06:10 PM
1

Yeah it’s a mess sometimes. I haven’t been over there in a while TBH. The sub isn’t very active so it tends to be a lot of the blind leading the blind. But there’s some good achieved content.
/r/seduction17/01/20 06:08 PM
2

Just wanted to mention r/niceguys isn’t what most people think it is. I highly recommend the Book and people frequent the sub. Half the people in this sub are niceguys, myself included.
/r/seduction17/01/20 11:40 AM
9

I completely agree. I started in the sub around 10 years ago and recently got back to this sub after ending a 7 year relationship. (Anecdote, don’t stop seducing when you’re in a LTR. These skills are transferable whether your single or in a relationship). The advice has completely changed. It’s now much more about finding yourself and who you are and letting attraction come from there. While there’s some truth in that, it totally misses the point that most men lack. It’s how to actually escalat…
/r/seduction14/01/20 10:01 PM
14

Have you ever been on a date and felt like you wanted to kiss her? What did you do in that situation? If you didn’t go in for the kiss, you’re not being true to yourself. If you started to make excuses, what if she thinks there’s too many people around, I need to go somewhere private, I wonder if she’s into me, etc., than you’re doing it wrong. What do you think? What do you feel? Are you into her? Are you having a good time. Do you want her to kiss you?
/r/seduction11/01/20 09:49 PM
2

I’m working on this too but it’s about transitioning from verbal to nonverbal communication. Verbal is the greeting. Introducing yourself and small talk. Granted you should be doing the nonverbal part the entire time. But it gets escalated the more flirtatious you get. Holding eye contact, touching when you make a joke. Example. Elevator women you wouldn’t have touched them when you made that first joke. But you would put your hand on their arm or leg the second joke. Also I love awkward pauses.…
/r/seduction10/01/20 11:31 AM
2

That makes a lot of sense. In fact I’ve noticed it happens much more often since I started working out and really getting into EDM music. A friend of mine actually told me that on a trip he’s never seen me more myself. I definitely know the feeling so I’m going to practice more and see if I can find a trigger to condition myself. Thanks again.
/r/seduction09/01/20 06:12 PM
3

Obviously an awesome write up. From my own personal experience I completely agree. I get with so much more women when I’m in my flow. I’m charismatic, witty, and quick. And when I’m in it I know. But sometimes I find that it’s difficult to get into that state. And the more I consciously try to be there the harder it is to do. Any suggestions?
/r/seduction09/01/20 05:27 PM
2

It’s definitely possible. And this is where subduction comes in to play. The less outcome dependent you are the more seductive you are. You’ll start to notice people start texting you more first and start chasing you. Doesn’t mean you don’t still chase. But if your not worried about them texting you who cares if they don’t. It’s a flittering measure of people you don’t need in your life. I’d love to talk about more if you want. Feel free to pm me.
/r/seduction04/01/20 04:59 PM
4

I didn’t mean to be harsh. But I ended a 6 year relationship to a women I was engaged to because I was in your same shoes. There’s too much love out there in the world to waste it on someone who won’t reciprocate. Also for what it’s worth you may want to read “No More Mr. Nice Guy.” By Robert Glover. My biggest fear is that all my relationships will turn out the same way where I’m codependent and investing more in the relationship than my partner. Learning to set boundaries of acceptable behavio…
/r/seduction04/01/20 01:26 PM
2

This is very interesting and I don’t have a suggestion but just wanted to say I’m in the same exact boat. 29 got out of a 6 year relationship and engaged for 2 and I feel the same way about what I’m looking for from dating. For what it’s worth I have not been super upfront with my past because I don’t think it’s relevant for a short term relationship. I think this may backfire on me but we’ll see. Honestly I have no idea how to handle it. I’m kind of looking forward to how other people respond.
/r/seduction04/01/20 01:15 PM
5

"it's not my fault if I have commitments. Well you have your answer. He just told you you’re not one of his commitments. Sorry to be so blunt but what are you looking for here? A magical way to seduce someone who’s told you they’re not interested. I know this isn’t a relationship advice sub but you haven’t been together long enough for this to be something so hung up on. Either get what you want or get out.
/r/seduction04/01/20 01:10 PM
1

Go search Craig Ferguson flirt on YouTube. It’s seriously not about what you say but your body language, how you say things, and pausing to let tension build. He literally has a segment called the awkward pause and girls start squirming in their seat and he doesn’t say a god damn word.
/r/seduction03/01/20 02:24 AM
2

What subreddits?
/r/seduction02/01/20 11:51 AM
1

Just saying Hi is such a simple awesome tip I’m going to start implementing. I live in a huge City and have been more active than I have in my entire life. I see beautiful women everyday. My brain constantly comes up with reasons why not to approach women. She looks married, she looks busy, it would be weird to approach a girl in the park, etc. etc. etc. The funny thing is I have no problem talking to random people, unless its an attractive women. If I find them attractive, my brain tries to sta…
/r/seduction17/12/19 12:03 AM
3

I don’t think it really matters. In fact, you can use the cold to your advantage. Here is an example. I tell a girl I met on-line to meet me at the Pub. When she gets there we hug. We start chatting, I tell her a joke and right before the punch line, I pause for suspense, slightly put my hand on her thigh and tell the punch line. If you get a laugh its amazing. The hand on the leg trick is great if she’s into you. It can be done in a bunch of different scenarios. Then after a while, you go to a …
/r/seduction08/12/19 02:27 PM
2

Awesome. Glad to be able to help. It’s actually the focus of my improvement right now too.
/r/seduction27/11/19 10:30 PM
48

No pressure OP.
/r/seduction27/11/19 02:05 PM
1

How do you know this to be true? Seriously. I’m not trying to be rude either but have you done a control tested study? Couldn’t it possible that the opposite is true? From my experience as an average looking dude, I’ve lost many opportunities not realizing that a woman was attracted to me or being intimidated to approach. It’s more likely your missing signs that women are actually attracted to you. One thing is for sure. If you continue that mindset you’re more likely to be unhappy long term.
/r/seduction27/11/19 01:59 PM
3

I’ve met many women I feel that way about. Women are like diamonds. They only seem rare because you portray them as rare. That doesn’t make them any less beautiful or special. You just have to recognize that if it doesn’t work out with this one, doesn’t mean you’ll never find another women again you share that connection with.
/r/seduction27/11/19 11:33 AM
5

I’m a bit late but nobody seemed to answer your question. I had the same issue. I had these great dates, laughing, everything but couldn’t turn the conversation sexual. I searched this subreddit upside down. Then I came a cross a crazy recommendation. I thought it was a joke. They recommended YouTube videos of Craig Furgerson the late night tv host. Go Search “Craig Furgerson Flirt” on YouTube. I watch his videos before every date. He effortlessly escalates without physical touch. I swear if he …
/r/seduction26/11/19 11:47 PM
18

I haven’t read the book. And I’m someone who’s suffered from oneitis. I’d say your still looking at it the wrong way. No one girl is precious. Date girls that are attractive. And love yourself more than all. That sick feeling you get when you’re “in love.” Isn’t love. It’s fear. Love is much more complex. Think about your best guy friend or your favorite relative. That’s love. You don’t live in fear of losing that person right?
/r/seduction26/11/19 11:25 PM
3

Nice. Thanks for the response.
/r/seduction23/11/19 12:46 AM
1

Late to the party but I’m interested in how you handle multiple women. I’m trying to balance multiple dates right now and it’s actually pretty tough. When do you state your intentions of not looking for a relationship? Also I might be looking into this too much, but I feel really guilty when I cancel plans. With anyone. Men or women.
/r/seduction23/11/19 12:16 AM
3

Yes.
/r/seduction23/11/19 12:11 AM
2

I’m the funniest, most handsome and charming guy I know. I also don’t know many guys.
/r/seduction23/11/19 12:11 AM
1

You have a very specific question that is applicable to a lot of people and not specific to this sub.
/r/seduction16/11/19 10:31 PM
1

But what we’re saying is sex is always going to be in her control if you go down that path. It’s okay to wait. But you also have to make sure she understands sex is an important part of a relationship to you. And I say that understanding you’ve only been on a few dates.
/r/seduction16/11/19 10:21 PM
1

Just fucking google it.
/r/seduction16/11/19 01:21 PM
1

Have you ever watched a Todd V infield video? He practically has girls falling over him. Unless his videos are fake, it’s certainly possible to get a girl to warm up to you in a short period of time. What he’s doing different? I have no idea.
/r/seduction16/11/19 01:19 PM
2

I agree with your overall vibe. I really do. I think it’s important to have a positive outlook. But going back to something you said originally. “Good things happen to people who wait.” This is my biggest gripe with OPs original question. It’s a scarcity mindset and by the very nature of his question, it shows that her taking it slow is in contradiction to his want. Slow being a measurement less than his anticipated speed. Right? That alone for me is the red flag. With the male/female dynamic, g…
/r/seduction16/11/19 04:29 AM
2

First, It’s obviously not unreasonable to wait a date or two to have sex. But it has nothing to do with what she says. With anybody, men and women, it’s about their actions. People who want to have sex have sex. People who don’t have excuses. I don’t think this is a shit test, but it seems like he’d know if she was interested or not. And if she was he wouldn’t be asking us for advice. What’s your take?
/r/seduction16/11/19 03:59 AM
1

Nah dude. She’s being nice. And she’s saying she doesn’t like sex with op.
/r/seduction16/11/19 03:50 AM
2

Then why isn’t she still with him? Also why are you talking about other guys on the first date? Trust me on this point, the guy you’re responding to is dead on about the sex. She’s always going to have the upper hand. I’d like you to indulge me on a thought experiment. As yourself this, what do you want? What do you really want. Because your on seddit and asking questions so you must at the very least be interested in seducing someone. Now take it a step further. Do you want a deep relationship …
/r/seduction16/11/19 03:48 AM
1

Do you practice KINO on girls? I was the same way in high school. Varsity football player. Had girls around me all the time but never getting laid. Recently I realized it’s because I just never made a move. Even as simple as shit like putting your arm around their shoulder, gently placing your hand on their leg, lower back, gently brushing their arm. All the type of stuff that shows them your interested while simultaneously turning them on. Think of it this way. Picture your crush talking to you…
/r/seduction16/11/19 03:32 AM
4

You mind sharing with me as well? It’s funny I was on Seddit almost 10 years ago now and it was so different. Just got out of a 7 year relationship and trying to refresh my game. But when the top post is from a women saying don’t approach women, it’s hard to find decent discussion.
/r/seduction15/11/19 02:02 AM
1

It’s no different than talking to any other human. Just say anything. Eventually you’ll get comfortable with it and can show interest. You want to sleep with women right? Well how the hell is she supposed to know if you never make your intentions known?
/r/seduction15/11/19 01:58 AM
5

Dude. I feel personally attacked. Lol. This couldn’t describe me better. But I have a great story to share with people who feel the same way. I just broke up with my fiancé who I was dating for 7 years because we realized we weren’t happy. I was a passive naive boy. Putting everyone’s needs above mine. I stuck around through some huge bullshit because I didn’t want to rock the boat. It eventually made me miserable until one day I said fuck it. Now I’m making a conscious decision to try and be “s…
/r/seduction15/11/19 01:55 AM
1

Jumping on late but I have something that may help. Check out the book No More Mr. Nice Guy. I had (still have) similar issues with approaching attractive women and men. I secretly seek their approval. It took me a while to connect that to my insecurities with expressing myself and accepting my sexuality. When you have these anxious thoughts, really tap into why you’re feeling this way. Look deeper than just the fear of rejection. What need are you trying to fulfill by approaching and ultimately…
/r/seduction14/11/19 02:18 AM
6

I am by no means an expert or even good at PUA. But one thing I know for damn sure. When I do shit like this, which is a lot, it feels way worse than getting rejected. In fact, the only moments that keep me up at night cringing are these. I dont even remember any of the times I was rejected. Try and remember that the next time you’re out. Remember the feeling of going home alone without even trying. That feeling alone has pushed me over the edge to approach, kiss, etc.
/r/seduction13/11/19 02:40 AM
1

Yeah. I live with roommates too but it hasn’t always stopped girls from coming over. I’ve also been trying to maintain an outcome independent philosophy. Everyone’s got shit going on in their lives and you never know why someone might not be in the mood to have sex.
/r/seduction11/11/19 05:58 PM
3

Great field report. I seem to have a very similar style as you and I also have issues F closing. I kiss close every date and generally have pretty good escalation but struggle making the next step. What have you been doing to work on this?
/r/seduction11/11/19 12:07 PM
3

What do you mean by your purpose?
/r/seduction11/11/19 12:08 AM
1

OP is right. I got out of a seven year relationship with my fiancé a few months ago. Although we were having sex it was really just pity sex. At the end I put my foot down and said I’d rather not be having sex at all. Suffices it to say the relationship ended shortly after. But it’s really all about valuing yourself first. Then the rest falls into place. I once saw someone’s comment on this sub and I ask myself this on every date as a measure of the women. “Would I treat myself like this if I wa…
/r/seduction10/11/19 01:22 PM
2

Oh my god! I’m 29 years old and I just learned how to actually flirt with someone. This is beyond mind blowing. Crazy it’s so simple and when you think about it, it makes so much sense. Bringing the tease into the connection between the two of you focuses both of you into thinking about the relationship you share in a fun and exciting light. Damn. Lights going off for sure.
/r/seduction08/11/19 01:35 AM
2

Just be honest. I get you may not have anything else going on all weekend. But when do you want to go out with this girl? And don’t say whenever. Do you watch football on a Sunday. Go grocery shopping? Lundy? Sunday isn’t good for you? Tell her. Say hey Saturday night doesn’t work but I can do Sunday. How does that sound? It’s a good sign she came back with a counter time. If she wasn’t interested she wouldn’t have done that. Don’t play games here. That’s not attractive. Really you shouldn’t tre…
/r/seduction05/11/19 02:41 AM
6

Do you ever have dreams about approaching women? Dating women even? Why does unconscious you do it? It’s because subconscious you wants it. It’s a primal natural feeling. Start listening to that voice. Because what is realty really. Life is fucking crazy. You were nothing for all of eternity then you just popped out and here you are. What is the difference between dreaming and reality? Nothing really. It’s just a state of mind. Obviously your actions in your dreams have no consequences for other…
/r/seduction05/11/19 02:29 AM
5

Great read. It's clear you put a lot of thought into this. It's also nice to see other people with the same values. A bit of criticism: missing from self love. Fapping.
/r/seduction23/09/14 08:19 PM
6

On a further note about the valleys. The valleys come along almost always when I'm down about myself. Maybe I skipped a week at the gym. I drank too much. Whatever it is it's usually personal. The moment I get back into my routine, going to the gym, eating healthy, working on myself, my game improves again.
/r/seduction31/05/14 04:56 PM
2

I have two rules for tinder: Never tell anyone your secrets.
/r/seduction27/05/14 11:24 PM
1

Interesting. I never thought about this. Usually I just confirm. I'm going out with a girl this Friday who's driving pretty far to meet up with me. I told her today to meet me in a general location around 6. I wanted it to be a mystery as to where we were going/seem spontaneous although everything is planned out with alternatives in case anything goes ary. I was going to text her earlier in the day to confirm because I always assumed it was the gentlemen thing to do. Before a girl gets all prett…
/r/seduction21/05/14 01:58 AM
1

I agree. That quote was meant as the bullshit internal dialog my shitty dating mind conjures up.
/r/seduction14/05/14 01:59 AM
7

Bonus: this may lead to a stipe tease.
/r/seduction14/05/14 12:52 AM
-2

WHY ARE WE YELLING?!
/r/seduction24/02/14 04:03 PM
35

Bold move cotton. He literally can't see anything out there.
/r/seduction24/02/14 01:42 PM
1

Well as OP mentioned also, lookin good improves your own confidence. Men care about looks way more then woman. And I know I'm comparing myself to other men all the time. Probably more so then woman. When I throw on my nice suit I KNOW I look good and it reflects through my actions.
/r/seduction31/01/14 12:49 PM
0

I was actually being factitious. It was a great article and the whole point of seduction is to counter balance those four societal misconceptions that are engrained in us.
/r/seduction31/01/14 03:12 AM
1

Great read. No advice though? :(
/r/seduction31/01/14 12:02 AM
1

I don't blame you for breaking ties. I'm just not sure you went about it the right way. I don't think you needed to tell her like you were breaking up with her. I would have just stopped talking to her until she said something. Odds are she would have just forgot about you, unfortunate I know but it would solidify your suspicions about how she felt about you. Now I have a question for the community. How do we feel about keeping girls around who are just friends? Is it a bad idea to keep a girl a…
/r/seduction26/01/14 01:59 PM
3

As a recovering nice guy, it has everything to do with not informing the girls I was sexually attracted to them. I had this huge crush in high school. I was super nice to her and we hung out all the time. We went our separate ways, she transferred to another school. I asked her out on a date one time during college. It was when I was first starting to get into the PUA community. I was being overly flirtatious over dinner. At one point she stopped me smiled and said why weren't you like this when…
/r/seduction26/01/14 03:16 AM
0

I never knew I was a bold flirter. I also think the teasing thing is really good if you're trying to pick up 16 year olds. And you are presumably 16 as well.
/r/seduction24/01/14 04:07 PM
2

Bonus points for Movie Recommendations! Great advice too.
/r/seduction23/01/14 01:12 AM
1

There's no better technique than showing a women your best side.
/r/seduction23/01/14 01:02 AM
2

Standing up against racism made me look confident, sure of myself, and ultimately more moral (racists know they’re being assholes). Men rarely challenge hot girl’s opinions so hot girls are attracted to that. Those are not only qualities girls look for in men. Those are qualities I want to see in myself. Your entire topic on Love is absolutely great! We were talking about this in another thread but I feel like when you get a girls number most guys think that she is in Love with you. Love is a ve…
/r/seduction23/01/14 12:58 AM
1

I have to point out a few things. As to number 1 this is what we usually refer to as outcome independence. Repeat that phrase ad nauseam fellas. It's one of the greatest and easiest ways to becoming (ironically) successful with women. Second thing I have to bring up number 2 especially because of how much criticism it has gotten ITT alone. I personally can't keep a conversation going like that via texting. That type of game just doesn't work for me. Here's the reason why. I get needy and very fa…
/r/seduction23/01/14 12:41 AM
20

I just might get hand reduction surgery just to use this line.
/r/seduction22/01/14 04:41 PM
2

Yeah I keep a lot of stuff there that I find truly inspirational.
/r/seduction22/01/14 01:36 PM
1

I'm happy it helped. It brought a lot of clarity to me too.
/r/seduction22/01/14 01:06 PM
1

Can someone elaborate on what this is? What type of support?
/r/seduction22/01/14 05:16 AM
20

In order to get the ending right -- to finally find that great woman you could spend eternity with, or at least happily ever after for two years -- you need to find someone who likes you (and is dating you) for who you are instead of liking you for who they think you are. You need to stop worrying about if she likes you, and you need to flip the switch and the power. You need to think: Do you like her? Is she somebody you can hang with? Is she somebody you can envision going on vacation with? Is…
/r/seduction22/01/14 04:21 AM
1

Awesome read man. Also it makes me really happy to say I've been doing all this for a while now. I guess I am learning something from hanging around here.
/r/seduction21/01/14 01:11 PM
1

Oh. I actually thought he was trying to say "reading people is in itself a skill". But it sounds better the other way. And makes more sense.
/r/seduction18/01/14 06:22 PM
2

Damn I thought the correct way was "reading people is per se a skill."
/r/seduction17/01/14 10:14 PM
1

Good way too look at it. I think the number one thing I have to remember is if I don't get laid it's not the end of the world.
/r/seduction16/01/14 11:44 PM
1

Yeah I'm ok with that. Comes with the territory.
/r/seduction16/01/14 10:17 PM
2

Oh I didn't realize you were making a distinction between LTR and STR. Makes sense to make that distinction but it went over my head. The way I've approached it for a long time was I wouldn't even hookup with someone unless I was really drunk and it was a one-night stand, or I saw long term potential initially. Now that I think about it this is was a big problem for me and I bet its a big problem for a lot of people starting out here. When I use to approach girls I would first think about whethe…
/r/seduction16/01/14 05:47 PM
1

I think this is going to be the best strategy.
/r/seduction16/01/14 05:43 PM
2

I am actually on the fence about whether or not I like making lists. Maybe someone can convince me. I think some characteristics can make up for others. For example she may not like to travel but she loves my sense of humor. She's a keeper. Conversely, I think I may have some hard fast deal breakers. For example I'm hooking up with this one girl who is a little over weight. I see no future with her strictly because of that. Forget about me being shallow for a second, should men have certain deal…
/r/seduction16/01/14 05:17 PM
131

I guess I should leave my apartment today.
/r/seduction15/01/14 04:06 PM
2

Great post. I use to fall victim to this hard also. I'm doing much better but I realize when I start relationships I do a very bad job of balancing caring and not giving a fuck. I'm way to much of a jealous guy. It's not an easy change.
/r/seduction14/01/14 08:53 PM
1

Right on brotha!
/r/seduction14/01/14 03:29 PM
1

I am hesitant to bring this up because I agree that you shouldn't have this mindset. However I've been thinking recently that not all men are going to be able to get laid. I luckily get my fair share and so do some of my friends. But I have ton's of friends who just don't have sex. I think that women from around high school till around their late 20's are very picky. I can't find the article but it used the 80/20 rule to state that 20% of the men are sleeping with 80% of the women. I think that …
/r/seduction14/01/14 03:25 PM
1

Doesn't matter still saw boobs. : ). Happy new year.
/r/seduction01/01/14 12:11 AM
2

Why would she be mad? If you haven't made any moves she probably doesn't even know you are interested in her.
/r/seduction01/01/14 12:02 AM
3

It's all about timing.
/r/seduction31/12/13 11:50 PM
4

what? I'm not even following you. You had one bad experience going out by yourself while waiting for a girl. Regardless one bad experience shouldn't make or break you. Also if you are really concerned about meeting new people you won't be able to do that sitting in your comfy computer chair nice and warm. You have to go out there and make yourself vulnerable.
/r/seduction31/12/13 11:22 PM
4

Take a shower. Iron your best shirt and slacks. Hit a bar. Not alone. No excuses.
/r/seduction31/12/13 11:14 PM
1

Why not?
/r/seduction31/12/13 11:11 PM
3

I was never good at game at raves. I'd hookup with girls yeah but can't build report well to escalate to anything else. I'm not a good authority sorry.
/r/seduction31/12/13 11:06 PM
3

The worst thing that could happen is I don't make it out tonight. Anything else is just icing on the cake. Tonight is really not going to be a big gaming night for me. I'm really just looking forward to kick back with some friends. Although I'm going to be dressing up for the potential of a hookup. You never know ; )
/r/seduction31/12/13 10:46 PM
2

Again it's not the end of the world. I'm actually going to a friends place and I think all the girls going to be there are close frineds. So I'm really trying not to kiss any of them and give them the wrong idea. I'm trying to get some people to go to a bar down the street for a little while so I can work some magic and get back to the crew after midnight.
/r/seduction31/12/13 10:37 PM
2

Better than nothing. I wouldn't take it too personal. It's alright if you don't get a midnight kiss.
/r/seduction31/12/13 10:05 PM
13

Kissing cousins?
/r/seduction31/12/13 09:32 PM
4

It's really the easiest thing in the world. I hooked up with one of my high school crushes about 5 or 6 years ago on NYE's. I through a huge party at my parents house and she was all over me. Greatest day of the year.
/r/seduction31/12/13 05:46 PM
4

I meant to say don't be afraid to say something stupid. Sorry. Also how's your KINO relationship with this girl? Do you guys flirt a lot?
/r/seduction31/12/13 05:44 PM
4

I think the boy's too shy
/r/seduction31/12/13 05:38 PM
1

I guess my message I sent earlier from my phone didn't go through but I would try to find a bar somewhere between time square and MSG. They are usually don't have a cover and get a lot of people stumbling back from the Time Square area when they realize they can't get in. So you get a good flow of people throughout the night.
/r/seduction31/12/13 05:37 PM
3

I'm assuming it's going to be at a party. Just have fun. I would just have a good time not act any differently. Then when you get some alone time with her I would just kiss her and say something cheezy like "Here's something to remember me while you're gone." I am always cautions with lines like that. It's better to say what ever comes to mind. That was the first thing that came to my mind. Also don't mental masturbate over this girl. I can already tell you're thinking about some romantic gestur…
/r/seduction31/12/13 05:35 PM
0

Outcome independent my friend. Have a fun time. She will notice and may want a kiss too. If not kiss a guy friend. That will make her jealous.
/r/seduction31/12/13 04:13 PM
1

I feel for the same thing too. And I had such oneitis for this girl because all the guys in my house were hooking up with all the girls in her house. And plus we still would make out sleep over and I could feel her tits. So it was better than going home when everyone would sleep over and masturbating by myself. I did it for the boobs.
/r/seduction31/12/13 04:12 PM
1

This is what it's all about. Congrats on advancing to the next level.
/r/seduction29/12/13 10:41 PM
1

"If I'm not getting the best women available then that's either because I am not representing those things clearly or I am not sure enough that what I am doing is excellent." That just sounds so arrogant. I'd tend to agree with the latter statement about not believing in yourself but I tend to avoid talking about my achievements unless they come up. I'm in decently good shape. I was a college football player, I'm in law school, a soon to be published author, and created two websites yet I feel l…
/r/seduction29/12/13 01:40 PM
2

As I certainly agree with you I fear that this subreddit is turning into a career/life advice channel. I agree that working on yourself is ancillary to good game and also a practice that should continue throughout your life. However we can't forget why we are here. The art of seduction is just one more tool in our giant tool of life skills. Just like going to the gym to get stronger or going to the library to get smarter we flirt with women to better our game. The end game should never be to get…
/r/seduction29/12/13 01:35 PM
3

/r/stopdrinking has some great resources. I stopped drinking for 6 months last year. Went to a couple AA meetings. I started drinking again but it's totally different. I don't think I have black outed for over a year. My hangovers are not nearly as bad. And I don't drink as often. I also recently discovered the word moderation.
/r/seduction27/12/13 03:56 PM
3

This is pretty cool but by no means a novice approach. There are a lot of easier ways to meet people at parties.
/r/seduction21/12/13 03:17 PM
5

This is what I use do. I would first meet like three or four different groups. Then I say "Listen I'm going to be getting a flip cup game going on so be ready when I call you over. I'm going to find my friends." Do that to about 3 groups of 3 people and now you got 9 people to play. Then you get the game going. This is a big social proof method as well. People start wondering who this guy is. He seems to know everybody. He's setting up games like he owns the place. Because the truth is most peop…
/r/seduction21/12/13 03:15 PM
1

Yeah you can't get into bars unless your 21. It may be different if there is a restaurant too but I most bars won't let you in.
/r/seduction20/12/13 11:34 PM
1

I think social proof is one of the most important elements. That's why wingmen work, that's why going out with a large group of friends helps as well. There's a lot of ways to show social proof.
/r/seduction20/12/13 10:31 PM
2

As awesome as this FR was and without taking any credit away from gwright... anyone can do this. You just have to go out with the mindset you're awesome and you're going to have an awesome time.
/r/seduction20/12/13 10:29 PM
2

Haha I'm bald too. It's great I get that I look like Vin Diesel a lot. One of my favorite compliments. It's funny too because I use to have really curly hair and I could never do anything to make it look good. Who would have guessed I look better bald.
/r/seduction20/12/13 10:05 PM
1

I'm guessing you're in Canada or somewhere the drinking age is 19. Don't approach people eating. But go to the bar and order a drink. Sit at the bar and just talk to who ever is around you. The bartender your friend. If I see two girls sitting and talking I walk up to them and say "Hey hows it going guys". I think I do this 100% of the time. Then I usually ask what brings them here tonight. You get some really great answers from this because they might say we just finished finals, she just got a…
/r/seduction20/12/13 10:03 PM
2

I guess I am lucky. I was blessed with decent looks and and I clean up very nicely. But I usually go out with a big crowd and I'm usually the ring leader. You can sometimes look up from the group and see half the bar staring at us wishing they could join our group. The best thing is they can! I usually try to get as many people involved as possible. My friends and I have started playing this game called hide the quarter. Where you have two teams sitting on either side of the table. One team puts…
/r/seduction20/12/13 09:53 PM
2

What a great mentality. I would be lying if I said it wasn't about sex.
/r/seduction20/12/13 09:19 PM
2

Epic man... I've had a couple of these nights and they make you feel like a champ. I just wanted to point a couple things out. First: I slam my phone on the table and say that anyone who wants to hang out again needs to put their number in my phone. That is awesome and I am definitely stealing this. Second: This is exactly what seduction is to me in a nutshell. It's more than just picking up woman. It's about enjoying yourself, making sure other people enjoy themselves while adding value to your…
/r/seduction20/12/13 08:43 PM
2

It's all good. We all are always learning.
/r/seduction20/12/13 07:54 PM
1

You're right. It sounds too "player like". Which is stupid because I'm clearly flirting with you I don't know why it doesn't work but it just doesn't for me.
/r/seduction20/12/13 06:09 PM
1

Looks matter. And I would argue against the seddit community that looks matter a lot. When I look around a bar and see the guys approaching women, almost always they are pretty good looking guys. Check out /r/malefashionadvice though that can improve your appearance a lot. It's amazing how much clothes can make you more attractive. Also I think there is something to be said about having a different type of game if you are not as good looking. I'm lucky enough that I'm pretty good looking. I'm av…
/r/seduction20/12/13 05:14 PM
1

There's some good advice in this thread I think. I'm not going to really comment on anything else because I have no idea what your situation could actually be like. I will say this though. Don't stop jerking off. That is the stupidest piece of hippy bullshit I've ever heard. Jerking off feels good. I still approach women. I don't see a problem.
/r/seduction20/12/13 05:02 PM
1

I'm actually starting to face this dilemma for the first time in my life. But women come in and out of my life so quickly that I started to think that I should always be trying to pick up someone new. Until we talk about being exclusive I'm going to continue doing what I'm doing.
/r/seduction20/12/13 04:58 PM
1

Picking up women in the mall, especially around christmas time is very difficult. A lot of people don't want to be there to begin with and are not in the mood to flirt or be approached. I think you are being very hard on yourself. I think that you are a lot further along than most people just by being able to approach women in these scenarios. I've literally never have gotten a number walking around the mall. And I talk to almost anyone who's standing within ear shot of me. I'm not sure how old …
/r/seduction20/12/13 04:53 PM
1

In terms of getting the number I do one of two things. If something comes up in the conversation that I think we could do together I say something like "Oh man I do that all the time. What's your phone number I'll give you a call the next time I go." It could even be a bar. Which I do three nights a week. Or when I'm leaving I say something like "Hey I'm getting out of here what's your number I'd love to hang out with you again sometime." It's really that simple. Women almost always give your th…
/r/seduction20/12/13 04:46 PM
2

I do this quite a lot. What I notice is that the guy is usually thinking that he's trying to bang this girl but that's only going to happen if the third wheel gets some. So he's going to do everything in his power to make that happen. Which includes being your wingman for this girl. A girl I hooked up with last summer I went out with once with her and her brother and her brother helped me hook up with her sister. That was the weirdest thing that ever happened to me.
/r/seduction20/12/13 04:42 PM
2

I occasionally approach like I've known them for years. Also I said that statement more about tone of speech in an efforts to conceptualize the approach. A statement like "how do you build a genuine interest" just comes off to me as if OP is treating talking to women differently than talking to men. Which it really shouldn't be that different.
/r/seduction20/12/13 04:17 PM
1

Oh no I only text to make plans. No stupid banter.
/r/seduction20/12/13 12:56 AM
2

That's awesome. Have fun.
/r/seduction19/12/13 11:16 PM
2

Abundance. I'm assuming your going home for the holidays. Go out and meet some women. You'll probably forget about this girl and then when you get back to school you'll have this awesome girl waiting for you. If it does fizzle out so be it. hakuna matata
/r/seduction19/12/13 10:57 PM
1

Yeah its pretty easy. It's amazing how many woman there are every where I go.
/r/seduction19/12/13 10:55 PM
3

I have to agree with most of the people ITT. It's just easier to text. Both people are very busy. I am not one of those people who waits like 20 min in between texts to "show I'm not interested. If I have time to answer a text I do. But a lot of times I'm in class or the library and if someone called me I would be pissed. A text is good because you can answer it on your own time.
/r/seduction19/12/13 10:53 PM
1

What's the move? My go to move is the fake yawn to outstretched arm to girl's shoulder.
/r/seduction19/12/13 10:46 PM
2

What do you do when you talk to you guy friends. Don't treat woman any differently. Make fun of them when they stay stupid shit. Laugh only when they say something funny. And enjoy their company.
/r/seduction19/12/13 10:42 PM
1

Get a 60's Volkswagen Beatle Bus, live in it. This way you can go back and forth between the beach and the local high schools picking up girls.
/r/seduction19/12/13 10:39 PM
5

Yeah I say hey guys all the time too and I hate myself for saying it but hey ladies makes me sound like a pick up artist from the 70s. I also am a big fan of the cellphone move. When ever I see two or more girls standing/sitting together with their cellphones out and are clearly friends. I walk over to them with my phone in hand and say "Hey can I join your conversation." 40% of the time it works everytime. But seriously it has always produced a good laugh.
/r/seduction19/12/13 10:35 PM
1

It seems like with guys who are struggling they fall into two main categories. Guy's who don't approach, and guys like you and me who are too inside their own heads. It seems like you need to focus on not being outcome dependent and just enjoying the company of women. I'm sure you think that is what you are already doing. But you can't be thinking about oh I really wish I could make this girl my girlfriend. Or how am I going to ask her out. Just be yourself. Call her up when you are doing someth…
/r/seduction19/12/13 10:31 PM
3

"Emotional Tampon". I love the imagery.
/r/seduction19/12/13 03:39 PM
2

She wanted your penis and you didn't give it to her.
/r/seduction19/12/13 03:38 PM
13

I think this is a well timed post. It seems like a lot of posts on the front page from beginners and I hope they read this. I'm no expert which is why it's also nice to see posts like this every once and a while. It's amazing how women respond to confidence. And these are all ways of building confidence. On a separate note I wanted to mention how these are all things that are totally within our control. Even if you turn into that perfect man you imagine yourself being overnight and that cute bar…
/r/seduction16/12/13 10:42 PM
1

Do you even workout bro!
/r/seduction16/12/13 01:42 AM
3

I'm going to jump on your comment for exposure. I would consider myself a very happy person with an abundance of close friends, a real sense of purpose in life and satisfied with my overall appearance. Yet I still fall victim to Oneitis occasionally. This is my prognosis. There is a lot of social pressure in our lives to have that prestigious career, the best friends, the fashionable attire, and the perfect partner. You hear your friends your parents talk about their girlfriends or why are you h…
/r/seduction16/12/13 01:41 AM
34

But instead of whining about it, or calling her a slut/bitch/whore or whatsoever because she cutted ME, the almighty Willem20, off, I read a book I enjoyed, went to the gym to work on my body and made a nice sandwich, because god, I do love doing all those three thing. I love this. This happened to me recently too. And I was at the gym the other day thinking wow I really missed going to the gym all the time. And when I got off the treadmill this girl popped into my brain again. Instead of feelin…
/r/seduction14/12/13 11:42 PM
2

I'm really confused. Why do you have a notebook. And do you go to this college or did are you pulling a sweet Lue and just going to a local college to pick up girls?
/r/seduction12/12/13 02:54 AM
1

And saved for this comment. Great explanation.
/r/seduction12/12/13 12:42 AM
2

I've literally had this conversation with myself. It's a tough thing to get over. Especially when everything is going fine. Have hooked up a couple of times. And then out of nowhere she stops talking to you. What ever I was hooking up with someone else at the same time anyway.
/r/seduction11/12/13 01:25 PM
2

I don't think we need to do anything to "fix our image" but I do think we need to remain vigilant of our responsibility to treat woman with respect. I live by this great rule: leave a woman better off then when you met her.
/r/seduction11/12/13 02:44 AM
1

I heard a saying once that you are the average of your 3 closest friends. I agree with the other advice. Ditch the asshole friend.
/r/seduction11/12/13 02:40 AM
1

The reason why people love the spam method is because of the time to success ratio. You success rate doesn't increase as steadily as the amount of time you spend going through every profile. When I was on okc I would go through a handful of profiles and get about a 60% return as well but 2-3 hours went by. I wasn't on okc because I was desperate for a quality date any way. So if I had to do it again I would definitely go for the spam method. I think the key to any online dating site is to minimi…
/r/seduction11/12/13 02:38 AM
1

I have to agree with you. The rest of the comments are really generalist along the lines of improvement doesn't equal compromising. Which is not wrong. But I think you have a point to. I see people all the time "acting" alpha to pick up woman. If your beta by nature there's no reason to change your life to impress women. However if improvements are things such as learning something new like how to cook or another language I don't see anything wrong with that. Trying something new is a great way …
/r/seduction11/12/13 02:29 AM
8

It's hard for me because I don't look for women who are adventurous. I'm one of the least adventurous people I know. I considered trying black coffee adventurous.
/r/seduction08/12/13 01:48 PM
2

Yeah being 21 changes things tremendously. Also being in college helps. But don't worry too much about it. you have the rest of your life to pick up women.
/r/seduction07/12/13 05:54 PM
1

No fair enough. I'm going to try it tonight. Maybe I'll do an update.
/r/seduction07/12/13 01:06 AM
2

What is a good recent sex topic though. I feel like the clinton be thing would have been great 20 years ago.
/r/seduction07/12/13 12:25 AM
2

You are already going out with the wrong mentality. You are not going to be by yourself. Your going to meet women. So even if you run into someone you know they're are going to think damn who is presariopresario talking to? Then there going to think how is presariopresario talking to all the hot women here?
/r/seduction06/12/13 11:18 PM
4

I hate this rule seddit has come up with. Although I incidentally happen to follow it. I treat texting women I like the same way I text my guy friends. I don't text my guy friends to see how their day is going. If I see or have something funny I send it to them. If they text me I respond. The moment it starts bothering me I either call them or respond later. No need to treat woman any differently. Having said that I tend to send more dick picks to my guy friends than girl friends.
/r/seduction06/12/13 09:29 PM
3

Nice. It's amazing how a night can change at a drop of the hat. Happened to me a couple weeks back too. Striking out with every girl in the bar. Ended up going to the one right next door and chatting it up with what seemed like every woman in the bar.
/r/seduction06/12/13 09:27 PM
2

I'm assuming you mean to meet women... I go out to bars. Usually try to go to ones without loud music which isn't too hard to find in my city.
/r/seduction06/12/13 07:48 PM
2

Haha. Yeah I wrote the whole thing in a stream of conscience. I should have gone back and proof read it.
/r/seduction06/12/13 06:20 PM
2

I had this problem for a while. Believe it or not it's probably not you. The girls you are talking to are most likely just boring as shit. Move on to the next one and forget about it. No big deal. I don't recommend this but I actually once told a girl that this was one of the most boring conversations I've ever had and walked away. I caught her checking me out a couple times later on in the night and smiling my way while I was talking to other people. I don't think that's a very nice thing to sa…
/r/seduction06/12/13 06:01 PM
2

There you go fixed.
/r/seduction06/12/13 05:54 PM
2

Haha. I actually have a date tonight. Not like most of these don't apply. But I think it would be difficult to pick up other woman while on a date.
/r/seduction06/12/13 05:17 PM
1

It's also a great supplemental to kino. I noticed a lot of times too I do excellent kino but there needs to be some communication as well.
/r/seduction06/12/13 03:20 PM
2

I seriously can't even picture it. I am imagining feeling a relative who is pregnant.
/r/seduction05/12/13 01:36 PM
7

Lightly and incidentally brushing her abdomen with your hands while talking What? I've gotten pretty good at KINO but this seems ridiculous.Brushing her abdomen. I don't even know what that would look like. Are we picking up woman or puppies?
/r/seduction04/12/13 02:22 PM
2

I hate when people do this. I have a friend who does this all the time especially since at 5'8 most of my friends are taller than me. One of my tricks is I hand them my drink and say thanks I'm going to get another one anyway. Then I'll look at the girl, go to grab her hand and say lets go get more drinks. Then back to the guy and say we'll be right back. I only do this though if there is more than one girl in the group I was talking to. I also try to tell a joke really quick. A lot of time peop…
/r/seduction30/11/13 12:47 PM
1

I know. I apologize.
/r/seduction21/11/13 10:38 PM
1

Yeah I'm starting to think that my expectations are to jump right into a long term relationship very quickly. And on my part it stems from the fact that I'm a very open and trusting person. I think for some people it takes longer to gain that trust and it's something you'll have to decide if you can stick it out for the long hall until they can feel the same comfort.
/r/seduction21/11/13 06:51 PM
9

I love the phrase mental masturbation. I literally do that more than the traditional kind.
/r/seduction21/11/13 03:33 PM
2

Damn. That's something that would eat me up. It sounds like she's keeping you on the hook until she finds someone better. Which I'm starting to think the same thing is happening to me. Also this is a total side note but did you meet her at a bar? Lately I've realized I'd rather have a LTR than trying to pick up girls every weekend. But I notice the girls that I pick up at bars even after things start picking up they still want to go out two-three nights a week and party like we are still in coll…
/r/seduction21/11/13 01:15 PM
2

About a month ahead of me. I think we are in the same boat actually. I see my thing also turning into a relationship and I think she's open to it but I'm more interested then her. I would say we both have a mixture of both Oneitis and intimacy. There's clearly mutual attraction however the moment you are afraid of losing them you start to slide towards Oneitis. What worries me is the only way I know how to combat this feeling is through abundance. But that just seems morally wrong to me when try…
/r/seduction21/11/13 02:21 AM
4

Thinking about how you are perceived is the ultimate killer, and I believe its at the core of almost all confidence issues This hit home. Wow again really insightful. I appreciate your response.
/r/seduction21/11/13 12:05 AM
9

Thanks for explaining my exact problem without giving any advice on how to overcome!
/r/seduction20/11/13 11:14 PM
2

As someone in this position many times and fighting myself like hell to not do this myself again with this new girl I have to say my trick is to keep myself busy. Continue your routine as much as possible. The moment you start saying fuck the gym let me call her. She's busy. You know why? Because it's 4pm on a Tuesday. She's fucking working like a normal person. Oh I wonder what she's doing now. Sleeping! Because it's 2am on a Thursday night and she has work tomorrow. Go to sleep don't text her.…
/r/seduction14/11/13 03:20 AM
1

Perfect "What is real and what is mental masterbation." I laughed but then I had a real long thought about my new crush. I'm definitely falling for oneitis myself. It's funny because I have been doing a lot to improve myself in the past couple years and I'm loving my life. Then this girl comes along and all of a sudden I resort to the old me. Im going to get back to focusing on my life and see if she wants to go for a ride.
/r/seduction14/11/13 03:16 AM
5

This is perfect. I needed this right now too. I decided to go for this girl that likes me recently and I know I am my own worst enemy. As soon as there's a woman I like in the picture I become very bad at remembering to put myself first.
/r/seduction14/11/13 02:53 AM
1

I think by brining added value to a relationship could help keep your edge. Along with maintaining a separate and distinct identity. That is by making sure you continue to improve yourself and not get trapped into making your entire life about one girl.
/r/seduction06/11/13 02:57 PM
1

I'm not sure if I agree that's the only way. However I think this helps me a lot in my typical game. I notice when I am out and chatting it up with a girl and I say hey my friends are right over there and they see a girl standing in the group they are much more inclined to come over and hang out with me. But that exactly what this is, a game. And when trying to start a relationship I think this only leads to jealousy and or not that meaningful to woman.
/r/seduction06/11/13 01:39 PM
1

By abundance do you mean more than in woman?
/r/seduction06/11/13 12:53 PM
30

That's like saying yeah I dieted for a year and lost a pound.
/r/seduction04/11/13 01:43 AM
2

I met a girl last night. The night was winding to an end and I thought man I really want to kiss this girl. As soon as that thought started coming I went in for the kiss. She was actually still talking too and loved every second of it. Reminds me I should give her a call tomorrow.
/r/seduction27/10/13 07:51 PM
1

Well I don't science. And no career is what it use to be.
/r/seduction26/10/13 10:11 PM
4

This is what I keep telling myself. I had a great streak in high school and than college and my early twenties have been terrible. As a relatively good-looking, soon to be lawyer in his early 20's, I am looking forward to the future.
/r/seduction26/10/13 04:19 AM
2

And you won't ever know that because you're too hung up on some chick who's just as insecure as you are, and who won't date you because she's too scared people will judge her by her boyfriend. Funny this was totally me as well. I was going after woman just as insecure as me. It's only until you get out of the hole that you can look back and even realize you and all these girls are insecure.
/r/seduction11/10/13 09:38 PM
3

Nice. It was a bold move. Looks like it worked out.
/r/seduction22/09/13 10:37 PM
17

Did. Did you just piggy back yourself?
/r/seduction22/09/13 07:04 PM
1

Can you provide a little more context about the interactions. Are you just walking around the city with nothing to do?
/r/seduction01/09/13 12:40 PM
2

I'm going out on a limb here to say that this situation only happens at a bar. I don't think I've ever seen a girl approached by two men anywhere else. If that assumption is correct I am also assuming that the pickup is for a one night stand by both parties. Therefore looks are almost the only thing that matter in this situation. Yeah a good personality will help both parties but that only goes so far. Just like looks will only go so far.
/r/seduction13/08/13 11:21 AM
30

Yeah but if you have the choice between two girls one is hotter than the other 0 guys willingly choose the less attractive one. Source: Experience.
/r/seduction13/08/13 12:36 AM
2

It was served to me on a silver platter. I couldn't resist.
/r/seduction03/08/13 03:18 AM
9

Now onto bigger and better things That's what she said.
/r/seduction02/08/13 03:24 PM
0

That just smells like pure gasoline.
/r/seduction08/07/13 11:42 PM
20

Naked man. It works 2/3's of the time.
/r/seduction08/07/13 02:22 AM
0

I feel ya. Apparently I was one of the few people to throw an Upvote your way.
/r/seduction01/07/13 01:11 AM
12

You don't sarcasm much do you?
/r/seduction30/06/13 03:25 PM
-2

Great article. But how many people really have a problem holding eye contact during a conversation? Where else do you look? If someone's talking to you do people really not look them in the eyes?
/r/seduction14/02/13 12:23 PM
6

What kind of bars do you guys go to where its quite enough to talk through something like this and have girls with long enough attention spans to do this?
/r/seduction08/02/13 07:17 PM
11

That's what I am most afraid of. Steve ಠ_ಠ
/r/seduction07/02/13 02:52 AM
2

I have not. If you happen to try it let me know.
/r/seduction07/02/13 12:21 AM
7

I talked to a few people about this at school today, I am in grad school, and the consensus was what one would expect. Guys thought it was awesome and most woman could care less. I think that many were just shy to admit that they thought it was kind of cool but I think a lot genuinely thought it was pretty sleezy.
/r/seduction07/02/13 12:20 AM
13

If that shit popped up on my wall I would be so pissed.
/r/seduction07/02/13 12:19 AM
7

Any girl that would be so devious to do this I don't want to have sex with anyway. This hypothetical girl sounds crazy. And if I have learned anything from reddit, you don't stick your dick in crazy. Also it would be tough to prove that you just clicked on everybody, because you could say you honestly wanted to get with her. And if she says anyone who uses it is sleezy, she is still on it.
/r/seduction07/02/13 12:17 AM
3

This is exactly what I was thinking I am going to do.
/r/seduction07/02/13 12:14 AM
4

I need to get one of those. I can't imagine all the new woman I'd reel in with a wife.
/r/seduction28/01/13 12:18 PM
2

I'm just going to wait for my 30’s. This is ridiculous. Of course woman want what they can't have. Guys are the same ways. That's why we fawn over them because we lost the first time. No guy goes up to a random girl at the bar and does this. It's usually after you are friend zoned or something as a last ditch effort to try and win her after.
/r/seduction28/01/13 12:17 PM
7

I have cashed in on that once before and it was pretty good. It was amazingly funny how desperate that chick was. And now I am definitely keeping Facebook. Lol thanks.
/r/seduction21/01/13 02:13 AM
11

This makes so much sense. I am in my early twenties. I see so many girls pass on great guys for one reason or the other. And guys are so frustrated. I know many guys including myself who wouldn't mind a serious gf if the right one came along. But many woman pass it up again for what ever reason. I can totally see a lot of my girlfriends in a few years beginning to panic that they aren't in serious relationships and start serving the lady bits on silver platters.
/r/seduction21/01/13 12:59 AM
2

Honeybunny
/r/seduction11/01/13 02:02 PM
4

I'm just going to a local bar in Boston with a few friends. Going to suit up and try the usual game on the ladies. Nothing fancy or new.
/r/seduction28/12/12 07:22 PM
3

That's awesome. I love that: who dares, wins.
/r/seduction28/12/12 06:37 PM
2

I also sometimes think the same way. As I get older i notice that the things I use to really enjoy I don't really enjoy anymore. Mainly going out and partying. So sometimes it begs the question who am I turning into?
/r/seduction28/12/12 06:07 PM
1

I agree and I think it's because guys value their emotions the way girls value their vaginas. We're both not that willing to open them up to just anyone and once we do we fall hard for them. That quote hit home hard for me too.
/r/seduction26/12/12 06:10 AM
1

I think James Bond must have told you this.
/r/seduction04/01/12 05:28 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter