Friend's girlfriend wants to have rape fantasy, and she wants to be drugged.

SpanishGuy · 2011-11-02T09:33:31+00:00

DON'T DO THAT

If she's drugged, he may hurt her unintentionally and she won't be able to say STOP. There is a high risk of vaginal tear by lack of lubrication, or by a wrong position.

Also, WTF is wrong with that girl? You don't play with drugs. Ambien is a nonbenzodiazepine hypnotic. Benadryl is an antihistamine drug, probably doesn't need prescription but still is a drug.

Tell them to DON'T fucking do that. If she wants to play rape fantasy she must be conscious, and they have set a safe-word to stop if it's necessary. No drugs, no lack of consciousness.

That's for health and security issues. About the law... well, that's tricky, they both must trust each other, specially he must trust her.

cjcee · 2011-11-02T10:08:21+00:00

Two reasons not to:

One - Absolutely do not unless you have spoken with her about it and have signed (in triplicate) consent... and that had better be fucking notarized.
Two - Even if she consents, it still doesn't protect you if something goes wrong. There is precedent that you can't consent to things that happen to you while unconscious.

.. and that's the 'happy scenario'. The unhappy scenario is this is all some kind of fucked up scam.

In short - sorry, her sexual fantasy ends where the law screws people over.

ForMensRights · 2011-11-02T07:20:10+00:00

If he's hellbent on doing this, he should video record himself with her talking about all the detail of the whole event beforehand.

2011-11-02T10:57:34+00:00

There was a case posted here a few months back where a guy was sentenced to jail for fucking his unconscious girlfriend even though she had asked for it. He lost his appeal too, if I remember. So this is a very dangerous act - for the guy. She could decide she was raped at any point in the future and press charges.

Bobsutan · 2011-11-02T07:38:02+00:00

I just xposted something about this the other day. The OP of the article had a gf who wanted to do the same thing, they get into it, asks her if she wanted to continue, then at one point she freaks out and now he's afraid he'll got to jail.

My advice, steer clear or at least have her indulge him first in his 3/4some fantasy with her and other women. That should put a stop to that idea of hers real quick :)

2011-11-02T15:36:22+00:00

So... you don't see anything wrong with this?

DarthOvious · 2011-11-02T11:43:09+00:00

The answer is no. This will not be a good idea. As another poster pointed out there is the potential for harm. Also this could then be used against him in future as a false rape allegation. Potentially he will be made to feel shamed about an act that was totally consenual.

ProWomanAntiFeminist · 2011-11-02T14:31:19+00:00

My recommendation would be to not do it. And I'm speaking as someone who has participated in consensual stuff like this when I was young and foolish.

If, IF, he is absolutely committed to doing this, he should have the girlfriend sign a contract (BDSM contracts are available for free online) and he should get her on video, reading the contract, and then signing it.

Oh, and I AM NOT A LAWYER.

drinkthebleach · 2011-11-02T16:31:40+00:00

Both parties are in a lot of danger there, she gets mad one day and he can go away forever. Also if she's not conscious theres a huge risk of her being hurt and not being able to stop, as someone earlier mentioned. I've known a lot of girls with rape fantasies, i'm sure she wouldn't mind pretending to be drugged for safety.

14mit1010 · 2011-11-02T16:21:29+00:00

Let her take the drug. Dont do anything

When she wakes up, tell him to tell her he did it.

Then she can masturbate in peace, and he will be off the hook.

immortalagain · 2011-11-02T14:37:58+00:00

couldnt he just make her sign a waiver saying any sex that night is consentual then get it notorized?

AnnArchist · 2011-11-02T15:13:11+00:00

Better get written consent, video taped consent and a friend of his and hers as a witness.

I would strongly advise against going through with this.

NoSalt · 2011-11-02T16:10:08+00:00

Nah ... there is no way this could possibly go wrong.

Shattershift · 2011-11-02T16:43:28+00:00

I would advise against it, but there are BDSM contracts available online. If he decides to do this, he really should use one.

KMFCM · 2011-11-02T17:22:35+00:00

it's a trap

LogicalWhiteKnight · 2011-11-02T17:54:27+00:00

If she is into rape fantasies, they should try bondage, while conscious, with a safe word. That way she can have the fun of feeling like she is being raped without legal repercussions for him.

One fun way to do it is to have her tie herself up, and then he finds her like that and has sex with her. That way she can pretend she was just having some self bondage fun, and someone broke in and raped her.

n64mikey · 2011-11-03T01:25:33+00:00

Get her to sign a form of consent prior to the fantasy fulfillment. Then get that form notarized by a legally-licensed notary. That way, he is (or at least, should be), safe.

TheRealPariah · 2011-11-03T02:54:10+00:00

Get her to sign a written consent contract detailing what will be done, her current state of mind, and that she desires this to happen. Do not do anything not described by the consent contract. You can find examples of these on the interwebz. This contract could be thrown out or ignored because I think there is some case law which holds that you cannot consent to anything while unconscious, even if you did before hand. And you may want to talk to a lawyer. Keep it romantic reddit.

In any case, he will be exposing himself to quite a lot of criminal and civil liability. My advice: don't stick your dick in crazy. My more relevant advice: Don't drug crazy then stick your dick in crazy because she is begging you to.

Offensive_Brute · 2011-11-02T12:28:47+00:00

fuck no!!

Tell her that if she wants to act out a rape fantasy that she should dress like a slut and hang out in the parking lot of a dive bar. Eventually she'll have an authentic experience with a real pro rapist.

LogicalWhiteKnight · 2011-11-02T12:24:53+00:00

Sounds like feminist trap. Most feminists secretly like rape and want to be raped, but you know what they also like? Pressing rape charges. You must talk your friend out of this and you must warn him that his girlfriend is not who he thinks she is. I say with 99% certainty that she's most likely a feminist. He's been had.

mikesteane · 2011-11-02T08:17:13+00:00

I think it's a trick. Therefore, he should have nothing to do with it. Furthermore, if this trick fails, she may have an alternative in mind, so he would be wise to cover himself against that as well (e.g. by recording her request that she drug him and fake rape her for use as evidence with any other claim against him.) If however he should be decided on going ahead, he should do no less than get a notarised contract on her part confirming her sound mind, age ability to make the decision etc.

BlackWind13 · 2011-11-02T12:59:25+00:00

Actually,

Legally, if she said she wanted to be drugged and then have sex with her boyfriend, its not rape. As long as she said this is a sober state of mind, legally its not rape. This would be the same as two adults saying "Hey lets fuck after we get drunk." Legally if you have sex with someone when are drunk or high, it's rape. But if you agree to the sex before getting drunk or high then consent was given.

Now, I think this is a bad idea. Why?

Your friend's girlfriend might like the fantasy idea of her being 'raped' by her boyfriend. But when that fantasy becomes a reality, she might regret it or feel bad about it.

Offensive_Brute · 2011-11-02T10:01:15+00:00

She's given her consent awake. She wants to be "raped" tell him to do it if he feels comfortable. If this really is her fantasy she won't stop asking until he does it or she'll find someone else.

It's Ambien not a damn roofie she'll wake up if something is really hurting her. I take Ambien and have woken up when the cat has scratched my face. He could always ask Dan Savage.

Title	Friend's girlfriend wants to have rape fantasy, and she wants to be drugged.
Author	cgibees
Upvotes	9
Comments	61
Date	November 2, 2011 6:43 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/lxg4x/friends_girlfriend_wants_to_have_rape_fantasy_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/friends-girlfriend-wants-to-have-rape-fantasy-and.1032266 https://theredarchive.com/post/1032266

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