A woman's manifesto on gender equality...or: how I learned to stop worrying and hate feminism

2011-04-29T21:10:19+00:00

I like the points about agency.

Some things can't be given, they can only be taken. Some things can't be demanded, they can only be earned.

Just as you can demand kids are nice to another kid but you can't make the kids actually like that kid... you can't make men respect women, especially not if they feel they are forced to pretend to. They actually lose respect for women in that case... and yet respect is what women claim to be after. However there will never be real respect unless it is earned.

pakmanishere · 2011-04-29T20:44:37+00:00

You are the type of woman that feminism promised, but never delivered.

2011-04-29T21:31:10+00:00

You are awesome!

2011-04-29T22:40:02+00:00

I understand a lot of you won't particularly care about how it has disadvantaged the women it's supposed to serve

Not true, we don't like what feminism does to anyone, men or women.

Good blog. We need more folks like you with courage and conviction. Well done.

girlwriteswhat · 2011-04-29T20:44:37+00:00

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2011-04-29T22:05:01+00:00

I think it's a fucking tragedy that more women don't have your attitude.

kloo2yoo · 2011-04-29T22:38:31+00:00

I posted this in /feminsm. they don't seem to like it. I wonder why. I think it's an excellent piece.

YIdothis · 2011-04-29T21:05:07+00:00

"Owning Your Shit: One woman's quest for gender equality" - Quality title there.

Damn good article. I think I may get this blogspot shit. My own blogspot shit.

masonmason22 · 2011-04-30T02:59:51+00:00

Have you considered posting your blog to /r/feminism and /r/feminisms?

wussgood · 2011-04-29T22:33:06+00:00

You and my girlfriend would get along well. It's disheartening that there isn't more awareness on the subject but i'm glad women like you and a few others i know can look at the situation with honesty, and in your case so eloquently metaphorical.

Benny_the_Jew · 2011-04-29T22:57:32+00:00

Why would this get down voted at all?

Godspiral · 2011-04-29T23:26:35+00:00

spectacular writing and thinking.

fireants · 2011-04-30T04:26:16+00:00

Modern feminism casts all men as predators, but in doing so, feminism casts all women as prey.

Thank you. This has been the thing I've seen as the most nonsensical regarding feminism.

2011-04-30T03:04:52+00:00

I'm giving you an upvote for the movie reference, and most-excellent URL. I presume I shall not be dissapointed.

2011-04-30T04:09:31+00:00

What a fantastic, well thought out essay. And your advice about owning your own shit is universal; it applies to men as well as women. EXCELLENTLY written! Thank you!

rantgrrl · 2011-04-30T01:38:43+00:00

Good article.

I do wonder where you're going with this idea of agency, though. We know that the vast majority of women still want men who are higher status than them - higher earning, more dominant, etc. They don't want independence from men, a feminist lie, in fact they enjoy having power by proxy through men.

Now, 100 years ago, both men and women could have been said to have agency, and although the man was usually head of the household and dominant over his wife, at least she had control of the things she spent her time on - the work she did, the children she raised - while the man had control of the things he spent his time on, too. But she also willingly allowed herself to be led by her husband, and it was a good deal for both. It was not oppression.

With modern technology, women have a lot more free time on their hands, and they still want some level of agency, but they also still want a man to lead them. They don't want independence, nor should they.

However, it seems to be natural for most people, especially women, to accept the privileges handed to them. And women always have had the privilege of protection by men, or chivalry.

Only men can put an end to chivalry, and they should. But can they? It would be going against their nature. Many are doing it, but can the masses?

If not, don't expect women to ever give up their privileges.

I'd caution you to assume agency is really the primary thing (most) women want, the lack thereof being the reason for their unhappiness. Most women want a man to guide them, and something worth doing that is their own (I guess you could call this part agency). If women were to realize once again that raising a family and taking care of the home was worth doing, they'd be happier. It's this notion that they should "have it all" that has misled women.

What I see lacking in your article is an understanding that not only do women desire agency, but they desire a man to lead them, a higher status male who they can look up to and work with in life. You may be an exception, but you are not the rule.

The article seems to imply that in a way, men and women want the same thing- agency. And maybe this is true to a degree, but men, far more than women, need the "self-sufficiency, accountability, or responsibility" aspects of agency. Women can get by with less of these than men. Women and men are different.

The article also seems to neglect the fact that women also want a man to lead them (and men want a woman to follow them). Again, women and men are different.

Feminism was the result of a few ugly women who were rejected by men and forced to fend for themselves, but weren't rewarded for it, and so they wished they were men. They hated men for it, and so they sought vengeance. One of their fundamental mistakes was thinking - until the continued scorn of men showed them otherwise - that women could be valued as much as men were for their hard work and independence. It's just not the case, so don't make the same mistake they did.

I think your article is a step in the right direction. If we are to build a better society, women need to start acting like adults, and men need to start demanding that they do. Chivalry must die. Of course, men will always protect the women they love, as they should, but they should no longer feel it necessary to protect women they don't know just because they have a slot, not a peg. Just keep in mind we can only go against our nature up to a point, and the vast majority of women will not be happy unless they have a man to lead them (at least in their younger years).

cplive2burn · 2011-04-30T19:25:56+00:00

If you are never held accountable for your decisions, you're being told that you're essentially as ineffectual as a child.

Love this quote

Sarthax · 2011-04-29T23:49:47+00:00

Slow clap.

pakmanishere · 2011-04-30T01:06:15+00:00

You have no idea what modern feminism is. None. Whatsoever. Chivalry has nothing to do with feminism.

Note that I am a woman who pays child support, her partner's grad school tuition, and all the costs incurred by having three children. This is awesome. Feminism has allowed me to have a career & not live in poverty, nor let my children live in poverty. I am really fucking grateful for the agency feminism has given me to let my children live a good life, let my partner pursue a satisfying career, and even let my ex-husband explore his career opportunities as an artist and musician.

Could I have even done this 50 years ago? Not so much.

2011-04-30T15:07:05+00:00

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nanomagnetic · 2011-04-29T23:22:05+00:00

care to source any of that? where is this "modern feminism" you're rallying against?

girlwriteswhat · 2011-04-30T05:51:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	A woman's manifesto on gender equality...or: how I learned to stop worrying and hate feminism
Author	girlwriteswhat
Upvotes	81
Comments	86
Date	April 29, 2011 8:24 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/h0eb0/a_womans_manifesto_on_gender_equalityor_how_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/a-womans-manifesto-on-gender-equalityor-how-i.1040417 https://theredarchive.com/post/1040417

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