"We've told our boys to find a mom with kids. Don't ever find a man, even a man with kids. They're dangerous."

specialkake · 2010-08-13T19:26:20+00:00

"And make sure they're white people, honey!"

Penoceros · 2010-08-13T20:56:12+00:00

Once I was walking home at night around 10 PM and I was a few blocks behind a young woman around my age. She looked back a few times at me, I didn't think much of it. After 10 minutes or so I was getting closer to her because she was walking very slowly, she turns around to check on me and sees I have gotten fairly close. The look on her face was pure panic... Then she took off running.

In all seriousness I laughed when she started running. I can understand that she has probably been bombarded by parents/media/etc that men are all rapists and kidnappers but I am not and it does not feel good to have someone think those things about you.

AnnArchist · 2010-08-13T17:30:45+00:00

Because women with kids aren't ever damaged goods?

Seriously? Tell your kids if you are ever lost, find a pair of people who are working together at a store. In uniform. I dont care if its a McDonalds uniform or a pedmall security uniform. If someone has a job they have an elevated status and sense of responsibility over someone without one.

mgasparel · 2010-08-13T20:55:20+00:00

I heard an interview on the news about the fact that it's 'creepy' for a male to be a babbysitter, and that if he enjoys being with kids he's obviously a deranged pedophile. WTF is with this viewpoint?

21Celcius · 2010-08-14T01:13:03+00:00

This is so sad, once I found a lost child who was crying so I just bent down and talked to her without a second thought as im female. She wanted to be picked up, so I did and took her to her mother who was extremely grateful.

obsidian468 · 2010-08-13T21:29:07+00:00

Unfortunately, things like this are right up there with politics and religion as "things to not discuss with coworkers". It sucks... I know.

On a different, yet related topic, where I work, there are often times many families in the public areas. Not more than a couple weeks ago, I assisted in a police investigation into an accusation of an attempted abduction (I maintain the CCTV system). Working with a female police investigator (who was gung ho to catch the perp), we pulled the CCTV footage. The video clearly showed that the child (about 3-4 years old) was running down the corridor, not looking where he was going, accidentally ran into the accused adult male, and fell down. The man helped the child up, looked around, and pointed the child back to his mother, when it became clear who she was. The woman snatched up the child protectively, while glaring at the man.

The police investigator, upon seeing this, said, "Charges dropped."

ETA: That said, while I'm at work, I try not to get within several feet of a child, and even try not to look at them (but keep alert of my peripheral vision to keep from trampling them). Hell, I even try not to get within several feet of females while at work. The last thing I need is for someone to accuse me of something untoward because they don't like how I look (I'm not exactly clean cut, and such accusations have happened before). At least I know my CCTV system will protect me. There's a reason I intentionally walk where I know cameras are looking.

This culture of fear of men sickens me - it's gone WAY too far.

Edit 2: I should also note that we recently brought charges against a woman that assaulted her ex-husband and tried to refuse to allow their daughter (by force, on the child's upper arm) to go with the father on court ordered visitation rights. Once again, the CCTV footage shows all. I just wish we had audio.

maidenfan2358 · 2010-08-13T19:37:20+00:00

Sounds like my mom's dating advice actually.

Zolty · 2010-08-13T22:12:16+00:00

How about find a security guard, employee, or police officer. Probably better advice than some random stranger. But then again this whole stranger danger thing is way out of proportion.

The vast majority of molestations are not random, they are from people the children know / trust. Only 10% are from strangers.

telldrak · 2010-08-14T05:19:14+00:00

As the second eldest of six kids, as well as being uncle to two nephews and a niece, I've had tons of experience dealing with children. I adore kids, and have had a long history of working with them, between volunteering at a day care when I was younger, and teaching a sunday school class for 8-10 year olds and working in the nursery as well.

It bothers me though when people just assume that I'm some creep - Just recently, while at a grocery store, I got in line behind this woman and her infant son. The kid was utterly adorable, sitting there wide eyed and gurgling, and I said "Awww! He's adorable!" - The woman looked at me, gave me a dirty look, then pushed her cart ahead, putting herself between me and her cart.

I understand being protective of your kids, folks, but for fuck's sake, I'm not gonna snatch your kid because I said he or she was cute - It's a compliment!

Another scary thing was that at one point, I moved in with two girls who were living in one of their grandmother's house, rent free - When I moved in (was dating the other girl), I spent my last paycheck buying groceries, and worked for three days straight to clean and organize the house - It was a wreck! The rooms and the carport were filled with garbage. So much so, that while cleaning out the carport, I found a freaking PIANO.

After living there for two months, and being unable to find work, due to the fact that I was spending my day taking care of the one girl's kids while she slept from partying all night. The kids would scream all morning, because she'd leave them in their beds. I changed diapers, I took care of things - But after a while, I'd had enough. I made arrangements to move in with other friends. That's when things went south with the girls - All the sudden, I was treated like a piece of shit traitor. After I had moved, the cops showed up one day, said that the girl was accusing me of molesting her kids and trying to rape her.

After explaining to the police about what happened, (and being backed up by my friends, who knew all about what had happened), the policeman asked if I wanted to press charges on her - I declined. The policeman said that was sort of suspicious, and asked me why I didn't want to press charges on her - I explained that I felt it was more important to me that her kids get taken care of than for me to get revenge on her for accusing me.

Eventually, she dropped the charges, but still - It's disconcerting that I put in all that time, effort, money and care into taking care of her kids, and she did that to me...

Yes, there are bad men out there, but this stigma is bullshit - There are just as many women out there that are horrible with kids.

johnny10finger · 2010-08-13T20:21:15+00:00

You can't think of an appropriate way to discuss it with him, because there is none. He's thinking is very narrow and he has kids and you don't so it'll be a big STFU to you if you mention anything.

kachapati · 2010-08-13T18:53:50+00:00

I have 4 sons. I have never told them anything remotely like that. Then again, I've never misplaced my kids. They may give me shit when I tell them to pick up their toys but they always listen to me in public. When they were each really young I made a point of showing them another family (mother included) and asking if they'd rather go live with them and call her 'mommy'? Cause that's what would happen if they ran off. Some other family would see a cute little boy and take him home as their own. That's all it took.

It has never occurred to me to subliminally frighten my boys with regards to men. But I will tell you that I have warned them about creepy women that want to have sex with 12 year old boys. And while everyone raves that it would be great for a boy to be seduced by a Milf, as a mother of 4 sons, I know that they would absolutely be damaged by such an experience.

2010-08-14T04:59:55+00:00

As someone who isn't a parent, I didn't think it appropriate for me to interject my feelings

WRONG! You don't have to be a parent to criticize them. Parents aren't all knowing, and no matter how good some of them are, they can still be wrong.

2010-08-14T12:35:58+00:00

I tell my kids if they need help they should find someone to help them preferably in uniform. I like AnnArchist comment that they should look for a pair of people in uniform.

If a person approaches them volunteering (male or female) it's less safe than randomly choosing someone.

vinniep · 2010-08-13T20:44:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

alphabetagammadelta · 2010-08-14T00:12:57+00:00

That's so fucked... If I see a kid alone without parents, I freak out- what the fuck is that kid doing without supervision? What if some weirdo guy or woman whisks him away? What if he/she gets hurt or taken advantage of? What if some bigger kids hurt or fuck around with them?

Someone needs to teach these women that one day their boys will be men- and that they are teaching them that they will one day be dangerous.

TheSnowLeper · 2010-08-14T01:05:59+00:00

i work with kids with autism, and telling them to find a lady with kids when lost is standard procedure...

pauldy · 2010-08-13T20:13:39+00:00

Straight up, yea you probably should just mind your own business. You don't have any kids of your own and your seeking advise from a group that's about half a step away from 4chans /b showing that you may not have the best judgment skills yourself.

kingsway8605 · 2010-08-13T22:42:07+00:00

Well no male from 8 to 60 years old is "harmed" by having sex with a female. Not true with sex with a male.

IYKWIM · 2010-08-14T04:25:56+00:00

"...and MILFs are fucken hot to trot, IYKWIM!"

lukipela · 2010-08-14T10:45:05+00:00

No. He is raising his kids to, when lost, seek out a woman because..SURPRISE they arent all psychopathic whiney bitches like you see in this subreddit.

Title	"We've told our boys to find a mom with kids. Don't ever find a man, even a man with kids. They're dangerous."
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	90
Comments	109
Date	August 13, 2010 5:12 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/d0umc/weve_told_our_boys_to_find_a_mom_with_kids_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/weve-told-our-boys-to-find-a-mom-with-kids-dont.1048123 https://theredarchive.com/post/1048123

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