Study finds that altruism is a determining factor in which men women choose for longterm relationships.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-08-19T14:15:05+00:00

“The women chose the selfish, attractive men for a one-night stand. But for a long-term relationship, they chose the altruistic man whether he was attractive or not.”

I’m just going to point out for the scrotey lurkers: this is way better than what some of you wish you could do. Scrotes make excuses like, “She’s had sex with other people, therefore she isn’t wife material.” Women evaluate personal characteristics. Don’t simplify this into, “Women just want bad boys until they’re ready to settle down!”

2oatmeal_cookies · 2021-08-19T15:39:21+00:00

And it needs to be genuine altruism. We need to stay far away from men with savior complexes. Sometimes a savior complex can be initially confused for him being giving and altruistic, but eventually his selfishness and resentment will rear its ugly head so vet vet vet.

For example, my most recent ex has a savior complex. At first his volunteer work and community outreach attracted me. As I got to know him better though, his acts of kindness didn't seem genuine and only seemed like he's focused on doing everything he can prior to having to apply for tenure. Eventually he told me he wanted to go to inner city schools and volunteer so he could be a "role model" to black children, and then he told me he wanted to go to "Africa" for a summer to teach the kids how to play a sport. For me, that was a huge red flag. On the surface it may seem like altruism, but when I asked him why the inner city and why Africa, he had no substantive answers. I asked him why he thought he'd be a suitable role model for black children, and still no answers. Like, just because he's a white, highly educated Catholic professor doesn't mean he's suitable to be any child's role model. Wtf?

He later told me that I was "pessimistic" for shooting him down even though that's not what I was doing at all. His lack of awareness told me that he's not really thinking about marginalized children and is only thinking about his own personal gain. It further bothered me that he dismissed my POV given that I'm a black woman. Gross.

His selfishness later came out in other ways, but now I know to avoid men with savior complexes like the plague. As soon as I see it, I'm done.

MissouriBlue · 2021-08-19T18:34:57+00:00

There are also Altruistic Narcissists, who are doing the Altruistic work only for the boost to the Public Image, so don’t be fooled by their generous demonstrations in PUBLIC. Watch for generous demonstrations that are also anonymous, AND similar kindness/empathy in the privacy of your relationship.

If you’re only finding ONE type of generosity (the Public Image Builder), whip out your magnifying glass and take a very close look at the other areas.

FirePreferred_theOG · 2021-08-20T14:42:06+00:00

altruistic, truly kind and generous men are truly sexy in my eyes. yes, i like an attractive body. and it's a bonus if they're fit AND altruistic and generous. But I'll take truly* kind and generous over a pretty body any day.

*truly - as in it's 100% genuine, not a show for others to see, their heart is pure and morals golden

Title	Study finds that altruism is a determining factor in which men women choose for longterm relationships.
Author	huevos_and_whiskey
Upvotes	171
Comments	15
Date	August 19, 2021 1:50 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p7f8ci/study_finds_that_altruism_is_a_determining_factor/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/study-finds-that-altruism-is-a-determining-factor.1057855 https://theredarchive.com/post/1057855

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