It's literal gaslighting when feminists respond to men who bring up the ways they're disadvantaged in society with the phrase "When you're used to privilege, equality feels like oppression"

iainmf · 2021-10-04T06:47:59+00:00

Oppression also feels like oppression.

It's abusive and manipulative, and should be called out for what it is.

That's a good approach. Don't fight people when they are being manipulative. Just point it out.

MelissaMiranti · 2021-10-04T02:33:23+00:00

The original use of the phrase was talking about women losing privilege.

hendrixski · 2021-10-04T02:44:07+00:00

Yup, because making the draft gender neutral is losing the privilege of being exploited by the military industrial complex.

And yes, because changing custody to 50/50 takes away the privilege of becoming a visitor who writes a paycheck when all you want to be is a dad.

So many other privileges: genital modification without consent, being more likely victims of assault, being overwhelmingly the target of murder, longer commute times, lower life expectancy, etc.

I get that women are struggling for equality in other domains like income etc. But just because we have some privileges doesn't mean they don't have other privileges.

SpanishM · 2021-10-04T14:59:52+00:00

It is, but then I tell them "That's not an argument" and they -usually- stop talking.

Also, you won't believe how effective it is sometimes to simply say "nah." (meaning "you're not right and it doesn't bother me").

I guess it works so well because gaslighting operates at a rational (cognitive) level but also at an emotional level, and when they are told "nah" they feel like they hit a concrete wall.

If you want to discuss with manipulative people, cool down your blood first.

And if you come across someone who you suspect is the narcissistic/antisocial type, don't try to argue with them, it's useless.

DouglasWallace · 2021-10-05T00:37:27+00:00

Feminist woman: "When you're used to privilege, equality feels like oppression"

Me: "I won't dispute your lived experience." Possibly with the addition, just to be clear: "Do you think that is a reason why other people shouldn't be just as privileged as you?"

If it's a feminist man, I'll admit they always stump me a bit. Sometimes a feminist man will talk like a man and be open to factual discussion but more often he will be too ill with feminism to be able to think about facts. Leave him be, since there still aren't any mental institutions that are available to cure feminism.

maxcorrice · 2021-10-04T05:16:56+00:00

Just respond “that’s why your exclusive reproductive rights being threatened feels so scary”

AnotherRichard827379 · 2021-10-07T17:53:10+00:00

Tell them “misandry has become the norm. So when I tell you about equality, your bias sees misogyny.”

austin101123 · 2021-10-04T05:50:43+00:00

thats not what gaslighting is

Edit: distinguished, stickied, and see responses below

genkernels · 2021-10-06T03:36:24+00:00

Gaslighting is a snarl word, say what you mean.

reddut_gang · 2021-10-05T21:43:25+00:00

It's facts though. Have you seen the reaction to the draft announcement, texas bill etc.

Not saying I support either of those, pro-choice and anti-draft, but it's still telling how much this quote applies to the ones who say this. Like it or not, the texas bill is the closest we've had to equality. And evidently, it feels a lot like oppression.

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