Libido, Age, and Gender Debate

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-10-13T04:35:39+00:00

What IS a relationship in the modern world, I mean?

We destroyed the traditional notions and ideas we had about relationships, and introduced divorce and lose sexual moralities, reducing male-female interactions to casual encounters and revocable social contracts that have an expiration date.

It's only obvious that when we eliminate the transcendental meanings behind relationships, the only reliable form of measurement left is sexual satisfaction (and possibly reproduction).

My granpa used to say relationships were like TVs, back in the old days TVs used to be expensive, they weren't that great and there was not much to see on it (and you only had one) but when it broke you fixed it because, well, you couldn't afford a new one. Today TVs are cheaper and they get old every year, there is always a better TV out there, and when it breaks you just throw it to the garbage and buy a new one.

That's a great analogy IMO.

People just don't care about relationships anymore, relationships are not meaningful like they used to be.

So if the only way we know to interact with the other gender is sex, then better the sex be good.

IceC19 · 2021-10-13T05:34:25+00:00

I can see the "women's libido drop in middle age", but I just don't see how that should change what a fullfilling relationship means. I mean, if one of the partners is sexually frustrated it's not a perfect relationship.

FrivolousMood · 2021-10-13T06:43:54+00:00

Over time, some people lose interest in sex (with their partner). Other people lose interest in fidelity. This is not just a coincidence. Monogamy is simply not possible in the face of a libido gap.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-10-13T07:59:48+00:00

and frankly someone to provide for who takes care of the home

Antiquated and archaic view of men.

Modern men typically want a woman who have a competent bearing and who have their own career.

As for the other stuff: i don't agree at all. Sex is important as a reconnection within a LTR, and if your partner isn't attracted to you then you're simply roommates.

I don't think DBR couples should immediately split, but i do think they should listen to eachother and work on becoming more attractive to the other. If that doesn't work, open the relationship so both can have their sexual desires fulfilled elsewhere. If that doesn't work or they're trad, then yeah split.

Corollary- if you think sex isn't super important to relationships, you wouldn't have any problems with poly or ENM right?

daria1994 · 2021-10-13T14:18:23+00:00

Men experience erectile disfunction when they age (starts at 35-55), while women can continue having sex till death. The libido loss in women results from losing attraction towards your husband, because men age worse and usually take worse care of themselves.

GridReXX · 2021-10-13T14:36:01+00:00

Are you calling the average woman’s natural libido a “disfunction”?

Anyway, yes I agree. Heterosexual couples focusing on having “matching libidos” is the disfunction IMO.

upalse · 2021-10-13T13:51:40+00:00

Women dry up past the honeymoon point, men don't. This is why the substance of the relationship past infatuation is paramount.

WilliamWyattD · 2021-10-13T18:47:39+00:00

Men and women are ultimately complementary and compatible. We need each other. However, you are right that more we focus on raw sexual desire, the more we focus on an area where there is a bit of a zero-sum conflict between the genders. Meanwhile, there is less focus on family, where the sexes are more complementary.

Some of this greater focus on sex is inevitable. We live longer, and even with obesity, we are more functional for longer periods. We also have more leisure. We don't work 100 hours a week between work and domestic chores, and are used up and exhausted by 40 after years of brutal work.

So a lot of the old wisdom about how the genders can complement one another does need updating. We can take some of the focus off of sex. Society is indeed over sexualized. But as mentioned above, sex is still going to matter more and for longer to the average couple than it did in say the 1100s. Another issue is the lack of extended family support combined with the ideal that couples should be each other's lovers, best friends, and partners in child raising, spending so much time in one anothers presence and trying to be everything to each other.

I do think basic monogamy can be revived, with less divorce. But we may need to rethink a lot of things. Try to bring back extended family, or at least more local geography-based community to recreate a sense of being in a tribe. With this in place as support, maybe men and women could focus less on being everything to one another. They do not need to be each other's best friends and share a million interests. Their needs to be sufficient desire and respect for each other's commitment to the relationship and the family they create. We need more children for basic birthrate reasons, but children also help men and women properly reorient the priorities of a relationship.

Finally, with the right cultural support, given modern birth control and the like, maybe we can make 'enhanced monogamy' options more viable and scalable to the masses to alleviate the sexual pressure on relationships. I'd say these enhancements work best later in life, maybe after 35 when the relationship is stronger. But it will take the right calibration of cultural support to make these monogamy enhancements less disruptive to the basic relationship.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-10-13T07:39:28+00:00

TL;DR: Libidos between men and women don't really ever align statistically, so we should place less emphasis on it when it comes to how we decide what aspects of our relationships are satisfactory.

The solution is for men to fuck hookers and use their wives as paypigs to finance it.

I'm paying for hookers for my man. And I'm sure that other women are doing the same thing.

The future is cuckquean.

michael1962-01 · 2021-10-13T06:24:14+00:00

(Wall of text).... ...

... answer : first go the blowjobs then the relationship then the commitment.

... a relationship without a healthy sex frequency is doomed if the male is a male at all.

philomexa · 2021-10-13T03:30:51+00:00

I agree, but I predict this reasonable take (with science!) will rapidly turn into blasphemy and sacrilege for the perpetually dry-dicked amount us.

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Title	Libido, Age, and Gender Debate
Author	ThinkTwiceNow
Upvotes	5
Comments	106
Date	October 13, 2021 3:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/q724fd/libido_age_and_gender_debate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/libido-age-and-gender-debate.1079842 https://theredarchive.com/post/1079842

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