"How do I tell my rich and successful guy friend who has been pursuing me for years that I will never date him because he's not Chad?", says the woman in her 30s.

gentle_lemon · 2021-10-30T14:26:07+00:00

These are the women who will string the guy along for 10 years, and then once they've exhausted all possible other options, they'll come crawling back after an epiphany and 100+ cocks (and a couple kids in tow).

I speak from experience. It never works out. :-/

Aldabruzzo · 2021-10-30T20:31:49+00:00

Some advice for you men out there:

If a woman does not express sexual interest in you from the very first time you meet her, MOVE ON. She gets nothing from you - no time, no money, no attention. Nothing.

Don't be this guy. Don't spend money, time, or attention on women who aren't sexually interested in you. Don't joke that you'll get married. Don't get rejected and then slink back later hoping it'll be different. It won't be. She turns you away, end the interaction and never talk to or contact her ever again. Delete and block, close off all contact avenues, and forget her very existence. No romantic overtures. No "let's get a drink". No joking about how you'll get married someday. No friends. No meetups. No "let's hang out". No "it'll be different this time". No nothing. It's over, forever. Cut her off, don't talk to her again, don't respond to any attempts to contact you. Over. Finito. Done. Forever.

RedditSlayer2020 · 2021-10-30T14:29:25+00:00

Women and their smart mating choices. A clown festival for the whole family. Tune in for the new season of my cats and I.

ArrowGantOne · 2021-10-30T15:05:07+00:00

This one is a tough one, because if I am not physically attracted to the woman, none of the other things matter just like the OP in the post. Here is the problem, she claims the guy is ideal in all the other ways for her. It's actually fine she can't get past the attraction factor and date him. That's what she should do. But if attractiveness is a deal breaker, she should look for an attractive guy that meets SOME of her criteria. I'd be willing to bet my left testicle (it's my favorite) that she has met many attractive men over the years who didn't meet her OTHER standards. We all know she has a list of requirements in a man that would wrap around the planet. It's fine to have A deal breaker or two. But desired qualities cannot ALL be deal breakers. If she wants good looks, she may have to settle for a guy who makes less money, is under 6 feet, isn't toting a 6 pack etc. Women have been told for decades they can have it all. Women can have it all, just not all women.

The guy in the post is beating a dead horse. The friend zone is a bad place to be. But she isn't going to change her mind about him, he isn't going to wear her down. Honestly I think he needs to cut her from HIS life and move on. I actually have a little sympathy for her in the fact that he is holding on for the chance she'll change her mind eventually. THAT does NOT happen. It has to be irritating for her that she has to readdress the "only friends" issue again and again. I've been there as a guy being chased and you don't want to hurt feelings, but people get fixated and hope you'll see the light. She really does need to remove him from her life. She will get to move on and see Mr. Perfect doesn't exist and if he did he wouldn't choose her. The guy needs to focus on women who will be available and interested in him. Interacting with her is just punishing himself.

The comments in the post are ideal. Love she is being called out in real time in her own post. "Even a year from now." How many years has she been saying that now? We all know the route she is on, and the destination that awaits if she doesn't lower expectations. I appreciate the commenters in the original post trying to talk her off of the ledge. I've just never seen it happen. She'll make the jump and be surprised when it isn't the ground that she hits at 125MPH...it's a wall.

Edit grammar due to lack of caffeine.

Joaquino7997 · 2021-10-30T14:43:07+00:00

Man...she thinks her lack of (physical) attraction for him sucks NOW....

Just wait until she hits cock bottom, I mean, ROCK bottom and she needs someone to bail her out of her dire financial straits. He'll either outright reject her or not reply. Then, gentlemen, we'll have yet another bitter man-hating cat lady on the dating websites!

BargainBard · 2021-10-30T18:05:37+00:00

I hate how a man is thought as unworthy if he can supply a woman all of her NEEDS but not her WANTS

Cristoff13 · 2021-10-30T16:59:11+00:00

"How do I kindly and firmly tell a man who has been pursuing me for years that I will never date him?"

That should be easy. What's she actually asking is "how do I get this guy to stop bothering me for now, but keep him just interested enough so he's there as Plan B if Chad doesn't magically appear within the next 5 years or so."

UltimaterializerX · 2021-10-30T19:07:06+00:00

Jeff Bezos and Michael Jordan couldn’t make women happy. What chance do you have?

Long_Range_Shooter · 2021-10-30T23:35:11+00:00

Give this woman another 15 years and she'll be begging him to date and marry her. I could tell you about a number of women I've known over the years that friend zoned most of guys around them. They hit their mid thirties to early forties and the Little Black Book got opened up and they were trying to reconnect with former guys that once wanted to date them. So far not one of these women got a guy from their past who they friend zoned to commit to any of them.

AurelianWay · 2021-10-30T16:54:51+00:00

I think she willingly kept this guy as an orbiter for a while. When an orbiter gets too assertive a women will usually guilt trip him or get rid of him. Our successful rich guy has outlived his usefulness to her.

If she is even moderately attractive she probably has a lot of orbiters already or she has another sucker lined up to take his place.

slipkid223 · 2021-10-30T15:09:19+00:00

Gump doesn't her the tingles, no one is surprised.

nitro-666 · 2021-10-30T18:34:53+00:00

I hate when people give good advice to this kind of women. Just let's hope she will never change her ways.

Disciple_Of_Cheesus · 2021-10-30T19:16:37+00:00

I wonder what she'll have to say about it in another ten years.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-10-30T20:23:07+00:00

I have an orbiter who I like to hang with because he gives me free attention and buys me food and drink, and I don't have to fuck him. Truthfully, I would love to use and exploit him because he's the perfect relationship guy for me, except I would never ever fuck him because he just doesn't do it for me. I reject him, he goes away. Then he comes back, probably hoping I'd change my mind. Well, I'm tired of it, the free attention and booze is boring, and I don't want to fuck him. I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK HIM. But I totally don't know what to say to him?

Thanks for all the input! Now I know what to say to him: "I don't want to fuck you. Go away."

Corn_in_your_pussy · 2021-10-31T07:11:48+00:00

She's suffering from abundance mentality when, given her age, she shouldn't be.

She is accustomed to men chasing her, and she is thinking "I have this rich, successful man who wants me...if I hold out I can get a rich, successful man who I am attracted to!"

The problem is that for every discriminator she puts onto her ideal man, she exponentially decreases her odds of finding him. Add to that the fact that she's simply unable to compete with younger models of her that are hitting the market and you have a recipie for dying alone.

If her brain weren't broken, she would see that this is probably her last and best shot at a good match and even then he is settling for her. Unfortunately, she will probably fuck this up by waiting too long, only to see him find a younger and hotter version of her to give it he the things she could (and should) have has for herself.

biccat · 2021-10-31T13:30:27+00:00

Women are born with the advantages they need to attract men. They can choose from many potential suitors, but these advantages come with an expiration date.

A woman’s ideal strategy is to cash in early and secure a high value man while she is still desirable.

In 10 years, the guy pursuing her will be wealthier and more successful and dating 25 year olds. She will be asking WAATGM.

ClatterShards · 2021-10-31T05:08:57+00:00

The guy completely wasted his time/energy on a clueless broad that can't even understand that her guy friend literally wants to spend his whole life with her but she will never give him the chance because he is simply not Chad. I couldn't care less if these types ladies end up on depressants in the end because it is their own fault for why they mistreat/push away any good men that gives them a chance.

wutc · 2021-10-31T12:04:25+00:00

"Thank you so much everyone: you've given me a lot of great and thoughtful feedback. "

Translation: "Thank you, manginas and man-haters of Reddit, for helping me to feel good about finally sticking the knife in this poor sap."

"I realize that I need to be bluntly honest with my friend then cut him off completely."

...Because that's how modern women treat male "friends".

Still, at least he's spared the horror of marrying her.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-10-31T11:25:32+00:00

I have no issue with her post, he needs to take a hint and move on. Men have got to stop trying to date women who are not physically attracted to them. These guys are literally begging to be Betabuxx.

BigCountryExpat · 2021-10-31T02:27:05+00:00

Fried Fucking Ice INDEED

Nightowloldschool · 2021-10-31T06:51:39+00:00

Some women are just the worst like this one

shocs · 2021-10-31T13:20:18+00:00

Give her enough time and she’ll come back crawling to him when she sees Chads are now preferring 20 year olds.

WeRAllOnThisBlessedD · 2021-10-31T14:23:31+00:00

We’ve all been this guy at some point. The best thing we can do when we see one of our friends spiraling down into the friendzone is to talk (or knock) some sense into him.

finger_milk · 2021-10-31T17:21:06+00:00

Part of me knows that you can't force a woman to be with a man that they don't find attractive, I respect that.

But if that is literally the only reason, and everything else about him is above average... I don't know what to say. The audacity at 30 to think you can do better at that point beggars belief.

MisterNavit · 2021-11-01T07:06:43+00:00

There's a saying in my country: "the patch fits the sack". Meaning trash will attract more trash. That is why women always go for Chad.

moorekom · 2021-10-30T14:46:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2021-10-30T21:31:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Manoj109 · 2021-11-01T20:58:51+00:00

At least she is honest and didn't go out with him for the money.

The guy for what it worth should move on and for get about her.

I have never ever ever chase a woman, if I don't get the vibes from the outset that she is attracted to me I move on too many in the world to be wasting my time chasing one

Stahlboden · 2021-11-02T13:26:20+00:00

Never settle, kwin

RunReilly · 2021-11-03T23:26:06+00:00

What wave of feminism are we on now? I lost count.

Select_Exchange4538 · 2021-11-02T04:19:13+00:00

Women are not required to be attracted to you. Ya'll need therapy.

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