Thoughts on this line of thinking: “I’m the boss at home. My husband doesn’t interfere.”

pieorstrudel5 · 2021-11-23T12:58:26+00:00

Hmmm.... I think you can take this two ways. You can either hear her being a controlling wife. Or you can hear a woman that runs the household and her husband trusts her.

I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt and go with second. If I came to my partner and said I think we should get an upright freezer.... That way when I find meat/food on sale I can store it for later and this will help us stretch our food dollars. Then I am showing him that I am being a good steward of his money. I think he would just ask me to send him a link to the freezer I want and would take care of it.

But if your partner gives you a budget and says take care of the home and doesn't meddle. Then i'd set aside some of that money and order that freezer and set it up in the garage myself haha. And be like "Ta da!!! Look what I got us!"

WeWearMirrors · 2021-11-23T12:47:58+00:00

I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that attitude, as long as her husband agrees with it!

I've had a lot of dumb fights with my husband by trying to involve him too much in the day to day running of the house. He is happier if I take care of it honestly. Although I'd still ask him about buying anything big like a freezer.

BumbleBitny · 2021-11-23T18:44:11+00:00

Haha sounds like my house but I probably wouldn't word it as aggressively. I balance the short term money (he does all the investments and long term savings) so if I want a freezer I find room in the budget and or save for it. Then just sorta tell him we're getting a freezer. Normally in a "I think I'm going to get a freezer". Just in case he did have a problem with it, like our house couldn't handle a freezer load from the electric or something he could tell me.

My husband's favorite joke when people are shocked how little he knows/is involved in the house is "Hey man I just live here".

lohvei0r · 2021-11-23T21:04:59+00:00

I would trust my women knows the best way to run home. Otherwise I did a mistake choosing her.

SnooRobots5509 · 2021-11-24T13:40:50+00:00

Let me tell you a short story from my life, I'll try to be as brief as possible:

My mother was the "boss at home" kind of figure, meaning she was the one making decisions as of what to buy, how to decorate everything, whether there was a need for any adjustments etc., my father was just letting it all happen, focusing on his work.

Then a distance appeared between them, and that distance grew with each year, eventually breaking them apart. I was in my late-teens by then, and I will never forget how it suddenly hit me, on the day when my father moved out of the house, and what hit me was the feeling of how this house wasn't actually his. All he took with him was a suitcase with clothes, some papers and a laptop. To me it didn't feel like they split apart in that situation, it felt like he was leaving my mother's space. I remember asking a question, why does he take so little with him? His reply was "What else can I take? It's your mother's stuff".

This day actually made a lasting impact on me. I demand both sides to be equally involved in household decision-making in a relationship, this way both sides are invested on the same level, and it's not just one side "parasiting" on the other, letting them do all the work.

Sea_Bookkeeper_1533 · 2021-11-23T12:27:29+00:00

This is actually something I've been wondering myself, especially with regards to cooking and grocery shopping. Hubby will often make suggestions or give his opinion on these two matters but it's something he genuinely knows less than me about. While I'm happy to take his lead, I feel like I'd like him to let me lead in those departments and follow my lead when I say we will do it this way or we need that product. He's a very smart man, don't get me wrong, but if you don't know the difference between passata, paste and all that then you probably should let me lead in the sauce making department, for example.

Edited to add that I wouldn't just go and buy a freezer without his input though. Large purchases still need his approval.

MrsDSL · 2021-11-24T02:42:56+00:00

I mean, if they are in a financial position for her to be able to make those choices without his input then great. My husband doesn’t tell me how to run our home either but we do have a limit to the amount of money we will spend on an item without consulting each other. A freezer would meet that limit.

emmalai85 · 2021-11-23T19:31:02+00:00

Might be how they do it, but I'm like you, I would need permission to spend that kind of money.

n8ivco1 · 2021-11-23T23:20:06+00:00

I would have no real problem with it as long as it can be justified in the household budget. A good way to do this is take a certain amount of money each month and do what businesses do and set aside for capital improvement.

TheBunk_TB · 2021-11-24T00:25:48+00:00

Major expenditures aren’t a joint concern?

TheTwincessMaker · 2021-11-23T14:30:53+00:00

Different people need different things. This isn't a relationship that I'd want, because it sounds absolutely exhausting, but I'm a firm believer that there are happy and successful relationships that look nothing like mine. Sometimes I get a little worn out by the opposite problem, having to run everything by my husband, because he has an opinion on literally everything. Both models have their ups and downs, but I'd still take mine every day.

HappilyMrs · 2021-11-24T10:50:43+00:00

I think if that works for them, great. I am flexible when it comes to who should be in charge of what when looking at other people's relationships.

For us, a new freezer would be a very big purchase. To that end, we would be working together to find one that met both our requirements, though most likely my opinion would hold more sway because the home and food storage is on my paper rather than his. Also getting a car, it is on his paper, but we would look at it together, with his opinion holding more sway.

Minor things about the home I generally decide and don't need his permission for. He trusts me, and if I want something I think may be unnecessary I ask his opinion before deciding.

Dinosauceboss · 2021-11-26T12:42:44+00:00

I do not micro manage how my wife runs our home. I trust her to stay within reasonable spending limits and if there is a purchase that would be above that we talk about it. We stay in our lanes and divide responsibility by strengths. I wouldn't have it any other way.

qclady · 2021-11-27T17:41:11+00:00

It depends on their budget situation. I have my own household account that is funded by a fixed amount each week. What I do with that money is for me to decide. Sometimes I save up for large items or luxury items for the house.

We also have a home improvement yearly budget that we mutually decide on. That can be anything from appliances to furniture. Given that I plan and maintain the home, my preference is usually given the most weight. Also, I’ve demonstrated over many years that I do not frivolously buy unnecessary items.

So, yes, the household weekly budget account is mine and my husband does not interfere with it. And no, major appliances are usually mutually decided.

It really depends what their budget looks like. It’s possible that she has a funded household account which is hers to decide.

LateralThinker13 · 2021-11-29T19:57:49+00:00

Depends upon the couple. Some have clearly-delineated spheres of influence, some are more partners and give-and-take. As long as you are both happy in who decides what, it's not an issue.

purplepansy88 · 2021-11-23T12:21:56+00:00

I think different things work for different homes. Maybe the lady in this marriage is much better at that task or perhaps the husband finds it too stressful. I like my husband to be involved in everything, but that's just me.

Maleficent-Tie-4185 · 2021-12-02T23:01:29+00:00

the man is the head but the woman is the neck.

Title	Thoughts on this line of thinking: “I’m the boss at home. My husband doesn’t interfere.”
Author	anothergoodbook
Upvotes	53
Comments	28
Date	November 23, 2021 12:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/r0bxnq/thoughts_on_this_line_of_thinking_im_the_boss_at/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/thoughts-on-this-line-of-thinking-im-the-boss-at.1086981 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086981

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