Please help me understand the situation: Flat mate light switched on me and I dont understand why

EricAKAPode · 2021-12-23T18:20:16+00:00

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

RedUtopia · 2021-12-23T18:21:26+00:00

They really need to bring back asktrp.

dakila5 · 2021-12-23T18:30:25+00:00

She wanted you to fuck her and you didn't, she's now doing this as an ego-defense mechanism because she feels devalued.

comcain · 2021-12-24T00:53:13+00:00

Girls CANNOT HANDLE rejection. They're generally insecure anyway and a rejection gnaws at their very soul until they collapse emotionally. The only way she can cope with her foundations crumbling is to assign you the role of asshole and that makes it okay.

Welcome to the female mind.

This, and 9,756 other reasons, is why female roommates are a terrible idea.

Good luck, chum. I think the situation cannot be salvaged.

Cheers

RipuliPeintteri · 2021-12-23T18:34:49+00:00

Yeah sounds like she got offended you didn't try to make a move. Which doesn't mean she would've gone with it, but just mad because she thinks you think she's not attractive enough.

Your decision making is that of a teenage girl. Wherever the wind takes me. Say you don't sleep with flatmates, correct it's a bad move you can't get rid of them fast enough when things go bad. But then you would sleep with her if she was the man and made the move on you. And then you are hanging out with her as a friend and in her bedroom... You say she's a friend but want to fuck her...

An underlying issue here might be seeking for friendship. As a man you have to be comfortable being alone to go forward. Are you looking for friends from anyone who gives you attention? Or do you have a plan of what type of people you want to befriend? Not sure about this one but you will know if you are desperate for friendship. Certainly made a bad leader in my army days because of this. But it also makes you worse in social settings because desperation reeks. The guys I tend to want to be friends with are the ones who don't need friends.

This is like the worst middle road. You are inviting trouble but not even getting sex in return. Have a plan and stick to it. And hanging around girls you say are friends but want to fuck but won't make a move hope they will is not it. You become what you are. And you are not being decisive or disciplined.

As I've gotten older and mastered things I see how it all starts to converge. In relation to this it's not just an isolated incident but a reflection of who you are. And if you want to be seen as a strong man by females you have to actually be it. Right now you aren't focused with your time. You aren't a steel ship headed into battle but driftwood. And to become steel you have to allocate how you use your time. The problem with hanging out ultimately is it's a waste of time that doesn't take you anywhere. And not going anywhere is in itself a direction that shapes you. This is the danger of the middle road. You aren't bad enough to notice it and act on it, but you also aren't sternly moving into a direction. So if you want to get into a situation where you have female attention and you are flipping through them to find good ones then you have to look at what it takes and move towards it. All of this converges. You are who you are. How you spend your time defines it. How you make decisions. All of it. So it's not just whatever I'll get there. Getting there only happens when you are moving towards something.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2021-12-23T20:06:35+00:00

Got a new female roommate.

I see where you went wrong.

oldskoolflavor · 2021-12-23T18:35:25+00:00

Honestly, bad idea overall to live with a female who you barely know. Walking on eggshells for sure even when you don't notice it.

Balderdash79 · 2021-12-23T20:38:09+00:00

You said that you would bone her if she made an obvious move.

She made an obvious move.

You did not bone her.

Now she thinks you are a blooper.

FAVETFORTUNAFORTIBUS · 2021-12-23T18:22:44+00:00

Why u living w a girl bro. That’s only gonna end badly if you someone has feelings and the other doesn’t.

Ur explanation is right lol. Probs best to find somewhere else to live. Sounds like it’s only gonna get worse.

omo-mummy · 2021-12-23T19:24:56+00:00

Don't have romantic relationship with your co-workers or neighbors. The risks outweigh the benefits.

Mouse1701 · 2021-12-24T01:44:26+00:00

Dude u broke a number 1 rule with a female. You can never be friends with a female unless it's a relative or through a marriage like inlaws. Even don't cohabitate with them. Even Rollo Tamassi says not to do this.you lose ur power.

wanderer779 · 2021-12-23T19:38:56+00:00

>Got a new female roommate.

All these stories include some big obvious fuckup. You probably knew this was a bad idea from the outset but you did it anyway. Listen to the little voice in your head it is almost always right.

JimiJons · 2021-12-23T18:27:27+00:00

She's an idiot and if you can't get over her acting like one, move out.

Sir_Distic · 2021-12-23T21:11:45+00:00

First: She invited you into her room, alone, to watch a movie. DUH! That's the sign she wants you to make a move.

Her feelings are hurt that you rejected her.

Second: Why have you tolerated her disrespecting you for months? Seriously? Sit her down and talk to her. Do not apologize. Make it clear that she needs to treat you with respect or she can find somewhere else to live because you won't tolerate disrespect. Do not fall for her trying to turn things around, etc.

THE NUMBER ONE RULE WHEN TALKING TO FEMALES: Don't be angry. Be matter-of-fact.

This is how it's going to be moving forward.

"I don't care and just go on with my life" Imagine if you were in prison. Someone comes by and calls you a pussy. He's much bigger than you, and is in a gang. So you let it slide because you don't want 10 guys pounding your face. Guess what, you're now considered a pussy. Because you tolerated it. So he knows you won't do shit so he keeps insulting you. Soon his gang comes by and tells you to give them your commissary or get your ass kicked. You give it to them because there's 4 guys standing at your cell door ready to rush you. Now everyone knows you're easy pickings.

You have GOT to nip things in the bud. But since it's too late for that you need to set her straight and set the line in the sand.

Also unless you're about to move out or she is, never fuck your roommate.

wanker7171 · 2021-12-24T02:22:22+00:00

She's angry because you show signs that you want to sleep with her, i.e. watching a movie in her room, yet you aren't making any effort to actually fuck her. If you want to fuck her, fuck her. If you don't then stop chasing some phantom chance she'll make a move.

TRPSenpai · 2021-12-23T20:51:28+00:00

It sounds like she developed feelings for you and you not recipocating or realizing it makes her frustrated and lashing out.

2021-12-23T19:37:25+00:00

She has a large ego. Don't try to bang your roommates. You dodged a bullet regardless.

2021-12-24T00:05:08+00:00

Ya done fucked up son. She wanted the D. Now she's pouting with a bad attitude because she doesn't feel attractive.

teucy · 2021-12-23T21:29:23+00:00

Do not, I repeat DO NOT shit where you eat.

recercar · 2021-12-23T21:45:59+00:00

We had a discussion once and she just told me she feels like im looking down on her and that id talk to her like shes stupid or sth. which is utter bullshit but whatever.

So you've talked to her and she explained why she's acting this way, and you think it's bullshit and it must be something else. Did she give any examples? It's entirely plausible that you acted like you were looking down on her and talked to her like she's stupid, even though it's not what you meant to do. This reads like missing missing reasons, except somehow not related to parent-child relationships. Why do you believe that she's incorrect? What was the context?

ChickenBalotelli · 2021-12-23T22:02:16+00:00

She’s mad she can’t get your dick

oooKenshiooo · 2021-12-24T03:06:32+00:00

This is what you get for being a dense fuck not once, but twice.

First: Don‘t move in with women.

Second: Always be clear about your intentions. Don‘t conflate friend stuff with fuckboy stuff.

cluelessguitarist · 2021-12-23T23:39:40+00:00

And thats why you dont live with women, atleast not your wife.

TheRedPike · 2021-12-24T00:23:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

seeing_it_in_red · 2021-12-24T00:48:32+00:00

The IOI eas being asked to her room, now you dud miss that signal, however you should of stated from the get go that you where not going to sleep with her due to the living arrangements.

You might be able to save it so as to avoid looking for a new housemate. But you need to establish HARD boundaries. If you can't then you need to evict her or find a new place to live.

Mouse1701 · 2021-12-24T01:47:37+00:00

He messed up when moved in with her. Most of the time it never works out with roommates anyhow. As general rule older people are more responsible than college age.

Xerexes3869 · 2021-12-24T04:06:02+00:00

Females think you are a mind reader. I'll tell you by experience- tell her honestly how you feel about the situation. Remember she won't acknowledge you feeling because she's a chick. So don't be angry if she keeps blaming you. Then let her reflect on it. She might get back to you or she won't because"something just doesn't feel right" or "something is just missing". Once you have said your piece don't argue. Let her blame you. If you argue you "just don't get it" in womenise. Reachout to her again if she hasnt explicitly told you to not talk to her about it after a few days. Let her remain the roomate.

How she reacts also depends upon what kind of mental illness she has. If she has some mental illness like most women she won't react positively to you conversation. Leave her be.

Also indulge in as much drama as you like as long as your mental wellness is not being affected by it. Show concern but have a mindset of amused mastery. Also do all of this only if you have some other chick taking care of your sexual needs even if she's a 5 or 6 else you will develop oneitis for the room mate

im_not_your_dad_100 · 2021-12-24T04:22:29+00:00

The fuck is all this drama, are we 9 years old?

Aquix · 2021-12-24T05:40:14+00:00

we started drinkin and watchin shit online as any other evening

You rejected her, what do you expect? That was an obvious invitation for sex.

By not making a move, she likely feels unworthy of you (as you suspect) because she couldn't get you to try to fuck her. Girls don't make the moves man - inviting you to her room with alcohol involved is already doing A LOT.

I dont really care

But you do, and you know she can affect you.

just go on with my life

Find another place? Even if you fucked her, the drama wouldn't end. There's always going to be some sort of dynamic with her. That's why it's a bad idea to put yourself in the situation in the first place. Hopefully, lesson learned.

ogroyalsfan1911 · 2021-12-24T03:21:26+00:00

Ask her to watch another movie. Then you can either make a move this time or she’ll reject you, then you’re even.

Hmuniz32 · 2021-12-23T23:32:06+00:00

Lived with a girl roommate before, we had 2 other roommates which were guys. She invited me to smoke weed in her room, but I declined. I would've probably been in your situation tho had I gone in there and not escalated lol

CoolKid2326 · 2021-12-24T03:34:04+00:00

iron rules of tomassi always

zino193 · 2021-12-24T03:56:14+00:00

Read the sidebar and the books in the side-bar. You just don't get it. That's ok, that's literally what the pill is. Welcome to the red pill. It's a hell'of a ride

Cool, chill girl. Shes into drinks, Popculture, art, we were vibing pretty well just having fun doing flatmate stuff.

That does not exist - for men or women - it just means she has a tight frame and knows how to make herself liked. (Pill 1). There are no cool people, there is no class of atlantians that just shine. There's people that are harsh enough with themselfs to mold themselfs into what other people like. Nerds (for example, but it can be replace with any self referential group from monks to feminists) self define their values and interest based on wierd stuff like popularity or the media they consume. "Cool people" spend most of their time interacting with other people and therefor their values and interests are what other people value and are interested in. Women are particularly good at "learning" new interests. If you ever find a girl on tinder (advanced stuff) that says: I just love a man that can teach me stuff - she is a woman searching for a peer group, a niche and you my dude are just her entry point into new worlds. (easy bang if you have a motorcycle and some biker friends)

I like her as a person

Persons, neutral do not exist -it's social construct as the kids would say - you are either a man or a woman. Meaning - you function and interact with the world as a man or a woman. In turn - the world knows how to interact with you based on if you are a man or a woman. This is what the kids would call a gender role - but it's not a role, because it's not a performance - Like the above "cool girl act". Gender however is not selective, conscious, voluntary or perfomative - it is a social function of your biological gender. An expansion pack you unlock after playing the game for a while. The closest we have to "person" - i.e. a genderless individual is a child or very old person that lost self determination. We do not treat them as "full people" - because it is implicit that full people have will and action - and will and action is unavoidably gendered - even if we don't say it outright.

Further, as a red pill disciple we also use the above functional taxology to diferentiate between active sexual actors in the sexual market, or passive actors - you are a man that fucks, a woman that fucks or someone's man or woman that sits on the side and gets picked when there's nothing around. Women in particular are intrinsically aware of this difference. They feel like there's 2 types of men by birth. A man that fucks, and the "good" man that supports, helps and loves. We at the Red Pill are not as cruel. We know men that fuck are made, not born. Welcome to the Secret Society. (Pill 2)

I like her as a person, would have boned her if she made an obvious move but I tried very hard not to get intimate with flatmates cause stupid idea.

So much to unwrap here.

you do not like her - you have been conditioned by default to see others - socially astute people as being better. A woman you like, you want to smash. Your desire is a compliment to who she is as a woman.(same for some men and respect) Liking someone as a person means they aren't a threat. This is why all non-agressive and non-conflictual women are likeable as a person, all women fit under the "friend" generic label - until you actually need help with something.
She did mate it obvious, as obvious as it was socially convenient. Women taking you by the dick sends a very strong signal to everyone around - she is your woman. She closes off all potentiality with any other male in the area - that from that moment on - would need to enter in a tense stand-off with you if he were to do anything with that woman. It reduces her social potential - unless you are the dominant alpha of the group and that group contains other women. (women will flirt with dominant men in front of other women just to rub other women's nose in their status). Everything people do, is withing the context of a dominance hierarchy. This might shock you - especially if you come from a middle class family - but everything is status. It's ingrained in human's social awareness. It's more pervasive and comunicates more than actual language. It can not be faked long term, and is the major engine that precedes money, work oportunities, sexual market value and phisical fitness quite often. (Pill 3)
You either like her and the roommates she is banging or don't think fucking with flatmates is a good idea. You either hold a value, or you do not and it's just a default setting you have been told by society to keep you in your place and out of the way of the men and women that fuck. Your values are only values if they actually mean something. I would go a step forward and say: your values are only real and you should have them if you genuinely walk the walk and justify those values.(Pill 4) Do you have a wife - yeah, probably fucking the roomate won't be a good idea. You're in college yourself and she wants a poly sort of arrangement where she gets fucked 10 times a day by all the cocks in the apartment block. Lead the way - ask for everyone to get tested regularly - ask for a participation fee for the rent and laundry expenses and let her bang her way out of rent. She's not your daughter.

Now from that point on for some reason she was blatantly disrespecting and ignoring me.

Because you didn't fuck. You rejected the oportunity to establish a man to woman dynamic. This can only be true in 2 cases:

you are not fuckable as a man
You actually don't see her as a fuckable woman - which is true - but you are too big of a nice guy to actually be overt with what you feel.

To solve the above conundrum she will test and poke. She will try to disrespect, humiliate or be more blatant about qualifying you as a low status, weak man in front of others. Women NEED at a primal level to know where they stand, and where other people stand in the hierarchy. This is not personal. Do not take any of the following as a personal offense. This is just how humans work. (Pill 5)

she feels like im looking down on her and that id talk to her like shes stupid or sth

As mentioned above - not knowing where you and her stand - makes her anxious. She has established herself as being of the group she has been fucking.

You are now either below them - which means she can do whatever to you as long as she has her peers behind her. You will probably be able to watch and join in - but she needs to know that you are a follower before she can grab their dick in public - to make a reference to the before concept of female blatant sexual advances. (i.e. make sure you aren't a judgy insecure man - you aren't right, you have no problem with a woman getting fucked in front of you while you sip your pina colada - that doesn't trigger any primal alarm bells, does it?)

Or you are above them all in status - which you will have to directly AMOG the rest of her fuckboys to prove - and then you will have earned her respect - she will understand she was beneath you and will then backtrack and play the vestal virgin with trauma that actually wants to be the girl of your dreams. Again - nothing personal, nothing malevolent - this is just how social dynamics work. And women are all about social dynamics. In all cases her imperative is to navigate to the top of the social order just as much as your imperative is to squeeze your face in between some huge squishy breasts while you have your glizzy luxuriating in some warm wet and cozy meat tunnel. (Pill 6)

I dont really care and just go on with my life but that just seems to make things worse.

Attaboy, tell her you don't care. Tell her you have no issues with seeing a woman fucked in your proximity while you sit and do your day to day. And tell her to reach out if she needs a new investor in her poly life ;) I'm sure there's plenty of boys around here that would make a deposit.

Title	Please help me understand the situation: Flat mate light switched on me and I dont understand why
Author	AdmCP
Upvotes	76
Comments	78
Date	December 23, 2021 6:17 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/rn1qht/please_help_me_understand_the_situation_flat_mate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/please-help-me-understand-the-situation-flat-mate.1090993 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090993

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