Domestic violence charge - My lawyer tried to convince me to hack my Ex's fb.

AndyCalling · 2021-12-20T16:47:15+00:00

Well, I can suggest that you're on the right track switching lawyers. If they won't even talk to you then I guess your current lawyer isn't going to be much help. Just go to another.

That said, the legal assistant has tried to get you to commit a crime. Forget about stalking, hacking in to a system without permission is a serious crime in and of itself. Trying to push you into doing this is also a crime. You could report it to the police, but instead you could just start a complaint with the lawyer's office with the option to go further if they don't address your concerns. That might get the lawyer actually talking to you, which would be a start.

Also, start collecting evidence to prove you are not stalking anyone, historic and current. I know it shouldn't be that way round, but do it anyway. Personally I'd be keeping a blow by blow diary of every place I go, with times, dates and a note of significant other people there to back you up if needs be. Even when at home or just alone somewhere be cautious. I would seek to ensure I always have someone else around to confirm my movements in case of later accusation. If no-one else is there, keep dated (and time stamped) photos of yourself there to prove where you were. If you live alone get a security camera and record yourself all the time you are at home alone to prove you are not elsewhere doing dodgy things. Overwhelming evidence of when and where you are and who with, if exhaustive, could really mess up any claims against you from this point on.

I would also carry a personal attack alarm. Should your ex approach you in any way using an alarm will make it impossible for them to claim you were attempting anything underhand as you can ensure everyone else in range is watching closely. You will have witnesses. It will also discourage the ex from approaching you again, which is good for all concerned. That said I'm quite enamoured with attack alarms right now so I may be over egging this pudding a bit, but since they cost just a few pounds may as well have one to hand. It can't hurt.

hardturkeycider · 2021-12-20T16:38:34+00:00

Get a call recorder app. Record her telling you to break the law.

DirtyPartyMan · 2021-12-20T17:51:40+00:00

Ethics & Malpractice issues

Oozingmachism0 · 2021-12-20T18:03:56+00:00

Maybe go to canadian bar association and file a complaint. Pretty sure this so-called lawyer got a few complaints from different people.

SamaelET · 2021-12-20T17:41:50+00:00

I am not a lawyer but I think not hacking you ex's FB is the good choice. Your legal assistant really looks like she is trying to put you in jail.

Just in case open a notebook and write every interaction with your assistant in it. Date, place, time, people who were present, the reason you met, content of the discussion (particularly her accusations and bad advices), etc.

But yeah you need to find another lawyer.

Try to contact one of these centers from National Coalition For Men (888-223-1280 or 619-231-1909):

*Atlanta, GA, Tatyana Roberts, Liaison [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

*Boston, Massachusetts, Jason Leatherman, Liaison [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

*NCFM Carolinas, Gregory Josefchuk, President [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

*Chicago, IL Tim Goldich, President [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

*Fargo, ND, Darrin Albert, Liaison [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) phone

*Gaffney, South Carolina, Paul Clements, Liaison [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) phone

*Kansas City, Wichita, KS, Tom Dougherty, Liaison [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

*Los Angeles, CA site, Ray Blumhorst, President [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

*Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, William Gravitz, Liaison [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]),

*Portland, Oregon, Philip Cook, Liaison [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

*San Diego, Harry Crouch, President [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]), San Diego Men’s Center, 932 C Street, San Diego, CA 92110

*San Francisco Bay Area (San Francisco, San Jose, Oakland), Steve Svoboda, Chapter Project Lead [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

*Twin Cities (Minneapolis/Saint Paul) site, Will Hageman, President [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

Or this lawyer:

https://shrink4men.com/

Philosophipster · 2021-12-20T17:38:18+00:00

Geez, this sounds f'd up. I'd say go back in time and don't get involved, or why you should even hack herFB. Not many good stories out of canada that bode well for men around women that hate men. Any chance of moving to a different country? 5000 dollars is a lot of money man, what did you talk to the lawyer about before you handed that over? A contract? Any way of getting it back?

Not how it works where I come from. I would spend any additional dollars to get the hell out of there and relocate to a more man-friendly area or country. Accept the loss and move on. Enough english speaking areas where men don't get f'd over by cultural judgement, cuz that's what it sounds like.

xx_DEADND_xx · 2021-12-20T16:03:09+00:00

Try r/legaladvice

ImJustHereForCorn · 2021-12-20T20:38:32+00:00

GET A NEW LAYWER! This lawyer is not acting in your best interest in any way shape or form. CYA! Save everything, get witness testimony, but do what the police said and stay as far away from her and places she and you or just she frequents or even frequented. CYA!!

goinsouth85 · 2021-12-20T17:39:45+00:00

Whatever you do - don't hack your ex's account. In addition to being obviously illegal and possibly being a violation of the restraining order - you will not be able to use anything there as evidence. If there is something that is actually useful, you should have the judge subpoena them.

This is very unethical behavior by your attorney, advising you too commit a crime. After this case is done, you really should report him to the bar.

rahsoft · 2021-12-20T21:39:07+00:00

i suspect your lawyer is bias.

I also suspect your lawyer( and their legal asst) usually represent wives not husbands, and i think you can already see their bias when it comes to the area of DV.

I noticed this with a number of law firms in their advertisement .

they know under the code of conduct or whatever its called in canada they have to act without impropriety. They either think you are too ignorant or won't do anything( like file a complaint to whatever organisation represents the licensing of lawyers for malpractice)

Is it not detrimental to my lawyer if I lose my case or get arrested for hacking my ex's fb?

nope, so long as you cant prove it, it will be stated as you not following advice.

however it doesnt mean you have to play clean if the other side isnt doing so either.

you just got to choose what is acceptable( i dont think hacking fb is a good idea for you to do, and I emphasise for YOU to do, what other non related people who are not known to your ex is not my concern)

legal asst are not qualified to provide advice( they risk being sued).

now having said that the normal and devious practice with lawyers( as I learnt from my ex wife who is lawyer) is that you are paying for a lawyers time ( charge per hour etc), but they delegate the work to a junior at a lower rate, but charge you the higher rate. which is why smart lawyers for big companies demand a breakdown of all costs to per hour and billable rate of each person involved and how many hours they put in and what for.

the family law business is a dirty, dirty abusive business ripping people off( on both side by inflaming the situation for collectible) when they are at their most vulnerable.Its also hurts the children when they are caught up with an acrimonious parent.

I would like to see this area of law heavily reformed, because you have no choice but to get divorce( its not like a libel suit that you can choose to take action)

go with your instinct and change lawyer - treat it like a job interview eg why should you hire them?

BTW - if canada has a men support line/website etc ( is it CAFE?) then ask them if they have a list of lawyers who work in DV and can do so without bias on either side..

NostalgicKunt · 2021-12-20T18:27:51+00:00

While I cannot provide any advice, I sincerely hope you make it through it 🙏

OctaviaPinfold · 2021-12-20T20:46:21+00:00

I'm not a legal expert but giving you an advice, whether legal advice or not, that you should hack anything and especially use information got like that to your advantage, is a crime in itself. Obviously doing it is also a crime, but while your lawyer and his assistance probably has a way out, you don't. That could be the reason they're telling you to do it. Malicious all around.

Mike00889 · 2021-12-20T23:49:37+00:00

Lawyers typically rely on their assistants. That's just how they work 🤷‍♂️ How many times have you contacted him and over what time period? What questions are you asking him? If you're not comfortable with his advice, ask for your money back and switch lawyers.

For people telling you to record him, etc. That's really a waste of your time. If you want to report him to the board, go for it. But without evidence or damages of any sort nothing will happen and you will be no further along in your own legal needs.

I will also say, lawyers have to choose you too, and those communities can be smaller than you think. If you blaze a war path you may find no one wants to take you on. Is this answer fair or necessarily satisfying? Nope, but it's the truth.

xAV96x · 2021-12-21T07:32:04+00:00

Either your lawyer is sold out. Or he knows you don't have any concrete evidence so he sees your case as a waste of time and makes his assistant talk to you. I would say start searching for legal help groups that give free advice and collect some concrete proof.

Easiest way to disapprove a domestic violence case is character certificate and evidence. You lack evidence But your neighbours, friends, family, etc are all candidates that can vouch for your character and can give you a solid defence. Without any defense even the weakest attack is lethal.

Remember anytime she got hurt and note it down with how she had got hurt and when. She might use photos of those incidents to frame you. Also any accidents, medical bills, anything medical make a list.

Make a list of potential witnesses your ex can call (her friends, besties, etc) and make sure you note down anything you remember when you met them in the past.

Nobodyz_Nikki · 2021-12-20T16:21:05+00:00

You are trying to press charges against your ex for domestic violence or are you saying she is trying to charge you with it?

bluesydragon · 2021-12-20T19:28:27+00:00

Uhh get your money back and switch. But what theyre doing is def illegal and you should follow through with the advice given on who to report this too.

There might be government organizations that can help

But def get their request to "hack" in writing (email) or phone call recorded

McFeely_Smackup · 2021-12-20T19:55:41+00:00

If she can't give you legal advice, what value are you getting from paying for legal advice?

It's definitely time fora lawyer change

mimiczx · 2021-12-21T08:35:08+00:00

Lawyers are the worst. Always record any conversation or interactions you have with them. And before you pay anything make sure you have what your expectations are written down BY THEM. Never hesitate to ask any questions no matter how silly you think they are. They know the law so if they can slither out they'll do it. Remember lawyers profit from your misfortune and very few have any integrity.

As for this report him to the bar and show your documented attempts. Many trash lawyers will take your money and run but figure you're powerless and won't report them to the bar so they keep on screwing the average person. Colleges and universities usually offer free legal services.

DutchOnionKnight · 2021-12-28T00:55:13+00:00

I don't think I, as a Dutchie, can be of much help. But you should record these massages, collect evidence. There should be an ethical organisation which hold firms in line. If everything is sorted with your ex. You should adress this.

Title	Domestic violence charge - My lawyer tried to convince me to hack my Ex's fb.
Author	Guide2
Upvotes	353
Comments	58
Date	December 20, 2021 3:54 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/rkqcuy/domestic_violence_charge_my_lawyer_tried_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/domestic-violence-charge-my-lawyer-tried-to.1091527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091527

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