I know that a lot of you may not want to hear this but the only way to overcome the fear of rejection is getting rejected... repeatedly. In my opinion, I find overcoming the fear of rejection to be more beneficial than getting the girl.

Why do I say this?

Let's say I fear rejection and I go out and approach some women. I get lucky (I don't like saying lucky but in this example, it is luck because on my first day I get a yes) and on my 3rd approach I get a phone number which turns into a date. Six months pass and the relationship goes in the opposite direction. She wants to break up. If I fear rejection, I'm not gonna want to go back out onto the dating market because instead of my 3rd approach it may take me 100 approaches to get the girl. I am a mess! This is how a lot of men are when it comes to getting women. Once they get her, they fear losing her because they fear the process of going out and getting another woman to replace her, which may take months or years because these men avoid rejection.

Let's say I don't fear rejection. Actually I embrace it as if it's a part of the process. When I get a woman and she decides to leave or I have to break up with her, I don't fear the dating market. It's like going back into the wild after being domesticated for a while. You look forward to all the abundance of young attractive women out there who are ready for the dating market as an adult.

I don't have the mindset of "I hope she says yes" when I approach women. I have the mindset of,

"She looks good. Let me see what happens", then I approach.

I focus on being bold, solid, and confident in each approach I do. If I get rejected, I self-assess my approach. If I was bold, solid, and confident in my approach, I feel good about the approach, even if I was rejected. If I was timid in my approach, I give a quick self-critique. The next approach I usually feel good about taking action so I go in bolder, more solid, and more confident.

After doing approaches for a few months, I notice that women are usually polite when they reject you. It's usually a "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm married". I only got one flat out "No" and another was a "No" but followed with she was talking to someone. In both these cases, the women weren't rude or disrespectful.

Using the direct approach when you meet women saves you a lot of time, but you will notice that the conversion rate is low... even for a phone number. Honestly, I would rather not get a phone number from a woman who just wants my non-sexual attention (shout out to Alan Roger Currie) instead of fuck because she has a boyfriend. I think indirect can get you a higher conversion rate as far as a phone number goes, but it may take longer to get her to have sex with you if she has a boyfriend. Also, men tend to try and work one girl to convert into a date instead of play the number's game and move as quickly as possible.

Accepting rejection is something that's important as well. If a woman tells me she has a boyfriend, the only rebuttal I'll give is "is it serious?". If they tell me yes, I leave it alone. If it's not serious, then I'll tell her to exchange numbers. I don't try to convince women to choose me or cheat on their boyfriend because there are way too many available women I haven't got to yet. I have an abundance mentality. I look for places where there are attractive women out and about in large numbers and I'll see new attractive women each time I go there.

When you don't fear rejection, you are quicker to approach. The woman's beauty and your desire to fuck becomes stronger than rejection. When I go somewhere and I see an attractive woman, my mind goes, "let's go talk to her". The first approach is the hardest. But you have to pop your "rejection cherry" in order to reap the rewards of leaning towards fearlessness instead of fearful when you approach the women you really want and desire most.

What are your thoughts?