Now first off, I want to start this by addressing something detractors will accuse me of: thinking dating apps are easy for women.

They aren't, at least in terms of abuse and harassment women generally have to deal with there. The truth is, most women have no issue gaining interest, and with more interest comes more potential for someone to be harassing.

But time and time again, any male issue on a dating app is generally reduced to one category: a complaint.

And as a man, I find that attitude to be scary because people then assume if I open up about the struggles of finding a partner, it's because I'm personally failing to attract them and there are no social issues that could affect me - a bisexual, effeminate, kinky, geeky guy - from getting a date.

I've racked my head for an explanation for this issue and like most male issues it comes down to - as near as I can tell - perceptions of men, masculinity, and the empathy gap.

Now, the empathy gap is an interesting one, because we find that people are increasingly open to hearing about women's experiences on these apps and empathizing with them there. But if we are so willing to acknowledge physiological stress that befalls women from having "too big a pot" of interest - why is it so difficult to have people acknowledge that the inverse could cause phycological stress as well?

In general, I think it's because the female experience is sharply understood and easily confirmed, while the male experience is not. As humans we have likely all experienced some form of undesired personal interest or harassment. So when women describe that experience we can empathize - we've been through something similar - or if we haven't, it's easy to make up a female profile and see this thing occuring.

But for men? It's so much harder to convey what a lifetime of working for others interest feels like. The toll it takes on you. The desperate desire most men have to simply be wanted without having to initiate, to want someone else first and hope they might want you back. Almost no one goes and makes a male profile and when they do and see the disparate level of interest they may come to a realization that things are different for different genders but they do not know what it's like to live in that space for a long time. Our lived experiences as men should deserve the same thought, introspection, and respect that we assign others.