I am 4 years post divorce and I have to say it has been a ride. It was an emotional roller coaster that I was not at all prepared for. I feel that I was lucky to get 50/50 custody and there was no child support or alimony.

It took me awhile but I now have a steady girlfriend who loves and supports me in many ways, she is truly incredible. I have been able to work my normal 9-5 job and pickup extra side jobs while my kids are with my ex wife. Not having someone leaching off of me and working extra has allowed me to move up from sleeping on the floor to finally being able to pay off all of my debt (aside from my house).

The kids are well adjusted at this point and they are even OK with the new people in their lives. It can be hard to see my kids wanting to do things with another man that I as a father would have done with them, but I suppose it is better than him being an arse to them.

I think back to the first few days, weeks and months. They were hard, incredibly hard; there were times I would want to lay down on the floor of my office and just give up.

But one day turned into two, so on and so forth and eventually I was able to turn my life completely around.

Based on my experience I can offer a few very important tips

1) do not turn to alcohol to numb the pain, it only drags out the healing process

2) If you are still in love or did not want the divorce stop talking to your ex. She will continue to leach off of you and lead you on.

3) Focus all of your time, love and attention on your kids. They need it

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Good luck to all of you. I am happy to finally say that there is life and there is hope for all of us