Retroactive jealousy: women mad over porn is no different from men mad at their SO for having casual sex prior to their relationship

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-17T14:45:13+00:00

are we talking about in the past, or currently? i’ve never heard of a woman getting mad that a guy watched porn before they had a relationship.

but there are a lot of reasons to dislike porn and jealousy is just one of them.

Hiyaya85 · 2022-03-17T14:46:24+00:00

You can't compare the things you did before you had a relationship to the things you're doing while you're having a relationship. What happens in the relationship is something you can discuss together.

It's possible for both man and woman to have had casual sex prior to the relationship. Some people don't like it, that's fine. In that case you don't start a relationship with that person. Nobody is forcing you.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-17T14:54:23+00:00

Jealousy often isn't why people dislike either of these though. Watching porn or having casual sex says something about you and your values and how you may behave in a relationship, which may diverge from what the other person wants and does. It's not all about jealousy and casual sex is not porn, although both can be judged you can't call someone hypocritical for criticising one when they do the other.

Barneysparky · 2022-03-17T15:04:33+00:00

I've never dated a man who hasn't had casual sex partners or a number of previous relationships. My husband isn't the casual sex type, however he did start dating his first wife after a threesome with her roommate he was dating.

I also know a TON of women who have never had casual sex. Women that don't have casual sex are not on hookup apps. Why are you going on hookup apps looking for a woman who hasn't had casual sex, but will have sex with you without commitment?

Regarding the porn thing wouldn't it be easier to understand that your porn use would be a deal-breaker if it continued into your relationship for a percentage of women, but not all, then find a woman who is fine with it?

Why do all women have to be a potential for you? And for the love of God stop looking for virgins on Tinder then complaining when they are not there.

-ShesACarnival- · 2022-03-17T14:50:17+00:00

an obvious difference is that your weird, off, false premise that women are upset at male "past" porn use and not porn use DURING active LTR/marriage

2022-03-17T14:47:42+00:00

It’s no different for us as a couple because I don’t care if my husband watches porn and he doesn’t care if I had casual sex in the 42 years before I met him.

wtknight · 2022-03-17T14:48:20+00:00

This would only be comparable if men were former users of porn and women were rejecting them because of this.

The former user of prostitutes comparison is a better one, but it has already been debated on here several times.

2022-03-17T15:21:07+00:00

Women get mad over the man they're in a relationship with watching porn while in the relationship. It's not "retroactive"

The men on this sub need to take a course in analogies

No_Tomorrow915 · 2022-03-17T14:50:56+00:00

I don’t know man, I’m not sure the two are comparable. I really don’t like porn or casual sex, but I think would rather date someone that watches porn in moderation (maybe 1-3 times per week) than someone who has had a ton of casual sex.

That said I think porn consumption and casual sex in men who don’t approve of casual sex / sluttyness in women are hypocritical. Porn is bad imo for many reasons, but honestly it’s having your cake at eating it too. It’s wanting women to exist as sexual objects for your pleasure, but also wanting women to exist as your wife, mother, sisters, and daughters while also not wanting any overlap between the two. It’s an understandable fantasy, but an unfair reality.

Anyhow, I am sure most women who engage in a ton of casual sex don’t care if their partners watch porn. And the women that don’t have casual sex probably are the ones that do care a lot more, but even many of them have learned to live with it.

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Title	Retroactive jealousy: women mad over porn is no different from men mad at their SO for having casual sex prior to their relationship
Author	SmarmyPapsmears
Upvotes	1
Comments	34
Date	March 17, 2022 2:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tgbq9d/retroactive_jealousy_women_mad_over_porn_is_no/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/retroactive-jealousy-women-mad-over-porn-is-no.1107117 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107117

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