Skipped most of the Redpill and went straight to blackpill. How do I recover?

Snoo52682 · 2022-04-14T20:23:06+00:00

If you're super smart, I suggest you read the actual studies that the black pill likes to cite. Surely with your intellect you will understand the way the modest findings are wildly misinterpreted and generalized.

xvszero · 2022-04-14T23:44:51+00:00

Friendzone isn't really a thing. Or at least, not the way you think.

What happens though is "nice" guys who are interested in women often just start hanging around them for weeks, months, sometimes even years while HIDING their interest, because they have this weird idea that letting her know she is interested will somehow ruin their... longterm... odds I guess? I dunno, there is no real logic to it. Yet I do know, because I used to do this shit too. It's stupid, and yes, it can get you put into a mental box of just a friend that is tough to get out of. BUT THAT'S BECAUSE SHE THINKS YOU'RE NOT INTO HER.

Meanwhile those "bad boys" don't do this shit, they're assertive and make their interest clear early on.

But you can be assertive and make your interest clear early on without being an asshole. That's the ideal.

my appearance is at best average

Average looking people find good partners all the time man. All the time.

NdN124 · 2022-04-14T19:32:22+00:00

Do you trust women at all? Which beliefs are you trying to change?

Grappleheart · 2022-04-14T20:52:51+00:00

First you have to understand that female sexuality is very diverse. Women as a whole like a lot of different things. Black Pill acts like women like one thing which can be easily rated from 1 to 10.

Also understand that self improvement can actually increase your desirability.

Finally understand that the women on line are not representative of the women in the real world. Most content creators like to act like they are normal people but are not entirely.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-04-15T08:22:40+00:00

Dude, being nice is not going to get you friendzoned. That is a myth. Research shows that for women friendship often turns into something more once they feel they are safe with you.

And again, women are not some monolith of people, they are a very varied group with varied preferences where SOME will like bad boys while others like to have a friend first and then will grow feelings for him.

I just have the same sound advice as everybody else: HOBBIES.

Dance especially is overrepresented by women, if you go study ballroom dancing (great for your brain btw) you will be forced to dance with a lot of women because we need men there.

w1gw4m · 2022-04-14T19:55:47+00:00

If you already know it's bad, nihilistic bs, what more do you need to stop believing it?

You say you think you're supersmart, that comes off as arrogant. Are you? Let's be honest here, super smart people wouldn't fall into this trap and be unable to crawl out.

2022-04-14T19:34:20+00:00

I don't know. BlackPill has no faults.

It's a joke.

It's a matter of reading the studies. There are a lot of crap in it.

ispariz · 2022-04-15T08:41:16+00:00

You need to fully accept that women are people. So are men. Neither are biological or hormonal automatons. All are incredibly varied and complex.

Some women like soft men, some don't. Some women find looks very important, many don't -- and even those who do have wildly differing tastes.

In my experience, the men who have the most dating options are the ones who have their own shit in order (hygiene, finances, mental health, self-respect) and treat women like people. they treat women like people, and thus talk to and befriend them easily, for the same reasons they would befriend anyone else. Some of those friendships can turn into something more.

Seriously, what is wrong with making a friend? TRP talks about the "friendzone" like the only reason any man could have to talk to or befriend a woman is the eventual promise of sex. THAT is the problem. Again: WOMEN ARE PEOPLE. It is good to be friends with them for its own sake. But also, most women date in their pool of friends and coworkers -- just like everyone else.

Gmed66 · 2022-04-14T19:43:25+00:00

What's your question exactly and what are you looking for?

harbardabaras · 2022-04-15T02:40:26+00:00

emotionally intelligent

I dont think you know what this means. Its your ability to recognise what people go through by just looking at them. Your ability to recognise which person is dangerous just by looking at it for example.

It doesnt mean being empathetic or nice.

Ithrewallofitaway · 2022-04-15T08:04:41+00:00

You really have to take a step back. I still look at redpill content, but my rose colored lens are gone. A lot of it is really toxic. How to do that is to play a devil's advocate. Imagine that you are a girl that is similar to you, what could you take away from it, what seems to be off. I still am angry at my ex and in girls in general, but I also have to take a look at myself. I am a very good looking guy, and am attractive to a lot of girls, especially to ones that are not my type. When I was younger, I got a lot of unwanted attention, because as good looking as I was, I was always the introvert. I had some anti-social issues, which did and sometimes still does cause me some bit of grief today. The magic pill is empathy. Learning empathy curbed tose antisocial behaviors. I stopped being an a-hole. But, I also became uninteresting as I curbed my opinions, and it was something my ex somehow did not like about me. She liked the toxicity, as it added flavor to the relationship, because she craved drama. Once, I learned empathy, the drama died. You can learn this same thing to escape red/blackpilling. There isn't that much difference between men and women. Just learn to empathize.

Critical-Past847 · 2022-04-14T23:08:21+00:00

You have the same odds as escaping the event horizon of a black hole mate

Maybe self-induce schizophrenia idk

azucarleta · 2022-04-15T14:55:24+00:00

I think most people who are worried about getting friendzoned and are worried about their outward appearance being substandard realize (usually subconsciously) that they are only attracted to people who would not be attracted to them back. I.E., you have let yourself be attracted only to people "out of your league."

Ask yourself what percentage of people of appropriate ages would you tolerate as your partner, sex partner, life partner, or otherwise? Like, I think those who are afraid women are too choosy to choose them are themselves the ones that are too choosy, in most cases, and are weirdly projecting that high selectivity onto the world/women.

Maybe just lower your standards, go date and have sex with those lower standards for 6 months, and see if you feel differently. If you are lucky, like me, you'll experience really hot and sexy times with partners who the Old You would have rejected as too ugly, too low class, or just inadequate in whatever way.

In short, everyone I've met and become friends with who complains about not having as much sex as they want, or inability to find a partner, is actually rejecting like 9/10s of the population that would date them, sometimes without even realizing it, other times fiercely defending their right to be highly selective and unrealistic while simultaneously blaming women for doing the same thing. First step is to realize this dynamic so you can work on it, and then second is to work on it.

A very powerful skill is to be introspective enough to analyze what you emotionally feel is "normal," unpack it and see where it came from, and then make a conscious decision to be different and do different. YOu are not a slave to most of your impulses; most of them are plastic and changeable, if you learn how and choose to do so.

TackleOk3608 · 2022-04-15T23:21:05+00:00

If you’re average looking then you can date average women.

2022-04-20T22:56:26+00:00

the big issue is that what women find attractive in men is entirely genetic (height, face & hair) while what men find attractive in women is very much under their control. the error in most of the blue pilled comments posted on this thread is the false assumption that becoming less unattractive somehow equates to becoming attractive.

unless a man meets a baseline of height & looks, nothing else he may have to offer is going to help him attract a female partner. most (but not all) black pilled men would be more than happy with our looks match but their looks matches are only interested in top tier men. i think the black pill can be very accurately summarized by the following two truth statements-there is no gym for you height or face and for men, average is the new ugly.

Title	Skipped most of the Redpill and went straight to blackpill. How do I recover?
Author	paradoxicalbastard
Upvotes	19
Comments	48
Date	April 14, 2022 7:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/u3pae0/skipped_most_of_the_redpill_and_went_straight_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/skipped-most-of-the-redpill-and-went-straight-to.1112662 https://theredarchive.com/post/1112662

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