So I was very close with one girl in college and I mean inseparable, but she had a really bad reputation for cheating, homewrecking and being promiscuous. When I left for an exchange semester I was told that all of my friends did not hang out with her, she was asked to leave a party, they all follow me on social media but not her, and the only people who showed up to her birthday were her roommates and my ex and his friends who I asked to go. Some of her closest friends have fallen out with her and complain about her to me, and it was difficult for me to convince 2 of my friends to live with her (and me). We will be together again this upcoming year, living together and remaining friends.

I’m worried how it will affect me socially, as I was always invited to things even in front of her while she was ignored, and people would only speak to her to ask how I was.

Because our identities are so intertwined, I worry that others will assume that I act like her. When they get to know me, this is not the case, and most boys I have dated did not like her. I usually maintain good relationships with them and their friends and they make jokes about how I should take back their friend and be in a relationship, but with her they just make jokes about her cheating or call her easy.

I know that rumours travel fast in college, and next year I want to focus on my work, I have a position in a society, and will be moving forward in my career. I want to work out, read, see friends, but not party like I did when I was younger. And I want to get married, but I feel that the impression of me men will get from being her best friend will taint me.

Any tips on refining your reputation/self presentation and distancing yourself from your friend’s antics?