Demonstrating Anger

SBIII · 2022-06-01T09:38:49+00:00

You were supposed to get up early to do something so you could get back early to go for an ATV ride with your wife - which you didn't explicitly state - but expected her to read your mind.

But instead of getting up early you got up late, then got back late, then got pissed because your wife had failed to read your mind the previous day.

Then you got her to apologize (for doing nothing wrong), then decided that you'd still stay pissed with her because you're a fucktard.

And you're morbidly obsese.

And you're broke.

And your lifts suck.

And you DEER like a cunt.

And you have bitch tits.

Fun times. Keep up the good work.

AcademicDumbass · 2022-05-31T23:14:31+00:00

Here’s the rub and I’m basing this not only on this post but on your previous OYS posts and comments:

Your wife has zero respect for you.

You posted two weeks ago about how you had a problem with covert contracts in the past. What you seem to be failing to see is that you still have a big problem with covert contracts currently.

The very essence of your post is “how could I have handled this better” but the “so that I can control my wife’s behaviors” is implied.

You’re in a situation similar to mine. It’s something I have to keep reminding myself too.

You’re fat. Horrifically obese. Weak. In debt. Admittedly undisciplined with sticking to a financial plan (as of 3 hours ago). With bad knees. Socially people don’t like you very much. And your kids are used as excuses for not getting laid.

That’s all from your OYS posts from the last 14 days.

The good news is that you’re no different than anyone else here. You’re just like me. Just like Horns. Just like Red-Snuffaluffagus. Blarg. Anyone else here. You’re in a shit spot and lucked into finding a place that can help you change your life.

But that takes time. So for now, hard work, focus, and patience is your mission. Your wife and her friends abandoned you with the ATVs? Who gives a shit? Shrug your shoulders and drive back. If she calls bitching, tell her she can ride the ATVs home.

Just keep grinding to build the person you want to be. All of the extraneous shit is just that: extra. Don’t waste mental energy even thinking about it.

BobbyPeru · 2022-05-31T22:30:07+00:00

Guess which sex usually wants the other one to read their mind like you did when you didn’t tell her you wanted her to wait so you can ride?

You have a 50/50 chance at the right answer.

coffeefrog92 · 2022-05-31T19:43:47+00:00

If it wasn't said explicitly, it's a covert contract and you only have yourself to blame for that. You're responsible for you own happiness.

And then when she got back you rewarded her with verbal intercourse and told her explicitly that she got to you, which also demonstrates that you had nothing better to do than seethe and wait for her to get back.

You could've done better, honestly.

InChargeMan · 2022-05-31T20:00:21+00:00

Can't blame the girl for wanting something powerful between her legs.

UsefulWalk4 · 2022-06-01T00:23:36+00:00

Where was your ATV when you got back?

didn't want to risk another Rule 9:

Good call, your instinct was correct this is rule 9 material. Perhaps spend some time considering why you keep getting rule 9'd and why you might not want to spend so much time and energy focusing on your wife's actions? What do you think about that?

I was beyond butthurt. I was pissed. I considered packing up and leaving. When she got in, I told her I was pissed. I also told her that I must not have made myself clear the night before about planning to take an ATV ride (again, there was no misunderstanding).

Wow, that must have got her hot, huh? Oh wait, it didn't did it. Butthurt isn't a good look. Considering packing up and leaving and actually drawing a boundary, nah, I'll just stay and be a door mat. Telling her you are pissed, how'd that go? The apology was to get you to STFU, not because she was actually sorry. Telling her you must not have made yourself clear, LOL. WTF man even your writing here betrays you, it must be your fault right. Don't tell her it's your fault if you think it isn't.

How did I handle this?

Kinda shitty.

How could I have handled it better?

STFU?

Draw an actual boundary?

Go for an ATV ride by yourself?

Do literally anything besides get butthurt about it?

SR_25SD · 2022-06-01T06:15:00+00:00

On Saturday morning, I had to take my son home. I told my wife and son the night before I wanted to leave early so “I was back during the nicest part of the day”. I didn’t explicitly say, but there was no misunderstanding, the reason was to be back when it was nice to take an ATV ride.

I got a little bit of a late start, left around noon, and got back around 2. Still plenty of time for an ATV ride. When I got back, my wife, our friends (her friends), and her ATV were gone. They got back an hour and 15 minutes later.

So you:

Failed to clearly communicate expectations
Created bullshit covert contact
Got all pissy and butt-hurt when the covert contract wasn’t fulfilled

How did I handle this?

Horribly

How could I have handled it better

This entire situation could’ve been avoided had you set clear expectations in the beginning. Stop with the covert contracts. Read (or re-read) NMMNG

Ht/Wt: 5’9”, 241 (from 280) BF%: 33.9% (BIA scale, from 42+%)

Lifts (AMRAP): OHP 90 (x7), BP 120 (x8), SQ 175 (x6), DL 185 (x6)

No way you’re 33% body fat At 5’9 241 with such shitty lifts. You’re closer to 40%. Lift more & lift heavier.

OCBOA704 · 2022-06-01T18:53:59+00:00

Thank you for your help all.

There's significant overlap in the comments, so I'll address them here instead of individually.

It was a covert contract.

I don't know why I'm so blind to this, but EVERYONE agrees. I'll re-read the sections of NMMNG and look out for them in the future.

I handled it poorly.

No disagreement there. The sad commentary is I handled it better than I normally would have. If nothing else, next time I'll STFU.

I should have made better use of my time.

I read while she was gone. I could have done better.

I'm fat and my lifts suck.

So I've been told. I'm working on both.

red-sfpplus · 2022-06-06T20:26:03+00:00

so they went on an ATV ride without you?

HAHA Awesome.

ImPissedOffALot · 2022-06-01T11:39:00+00:00

I also told her that I must not have made myself clear the night before about planning to take an ATV ride (again, there was no misunderstanding).

I don't understand, how is that an appropriate reaction, or demonstration of anger ? Was the whole goal to make her feel guilty ?

Either you consider that you made yourself clear, and you do not tell her the opposite after she shat on your expectations, or you consider that you did not make yourself clear, and that's on you.

ragnar_Daneskjold · 2022-06-01T17:25:41+00:00

What's the hobby of all these other husbands that you don't intend to participate in?

Is it arousing your wife?

Title	Demonstrating Anger
Author	OCBOA704
Upvotes	6
Comments	40
Date	May 31, 2022 7:21 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/v1xt4c/demonstrating_anger/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/demonstrating-anger.1117842 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117842

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