Thoughts on "weaponized incompetence"?

BetterOffCamping · 2022-05-25T19:38:13+00:00

While I agree with the comments dismissing the idea, I did have one man tell me that's how he gets out of doing things, so at least a few people do that.

My experience in two failed marriages is that if I don't do it the way she wants or when she wants it I'm incompetent.

So what ya gonna do?

63daddy · 2022-05-25T20:44:19+00:00

For all of human existence we men have formed a collective known as the patriarchy to oppress women. The tool we used to oppress women is weaponized incompetence. For all of humanity we’ve kept this a deep, dark secret, so which one of you men snitched and told women this is how we oppress them?

The patriarchy won’t be happy with your betrayal.

———————————————————————

Update: I remember one girlfriend who would complain I was incompetent at everything. If I sliced carrots right to left, she’d take over claiming they needed to be sliced left to right.

Years later, I heard a of podcast explaining this behavior is a way some people try to raise themselves. They essentially feel inferior. Putting others down, claiming they can’t do something you can easily do is a way of raising yourself up and proving your worth.

I suspect in most of these claims of weaponized incompetence, there’s no incompetence at all. Let’s face it, men are perfectly capable of cutting carrots, washing dishes, etc. The claim is simply a way to bash men to build themselves up and claim men oppress women.

EmirikolWoker · 2022-05-25T19:02:40+00:00

Sounds like this person has a chip on her shoulder.

In any case, I imagine the outcomes being as follows:

1) the man isn't asked to do the task again, and gets out of the work.

2) the woman gets used to the man doing things differently from her

3) they communicate and work out why they are each doing the thing in their ways, and maybe learning from the experience.

4) a fight breaks out, possibly with the man not knowing what he did wrong.

I suspect 4 is the most likely.

vaaralinen · 2022-05-25T19:03:10+00:00

Wow, that idea seems to be the literal definition of womansplaining.

TrilIias · 2022-05-25T19:33:12+00:00

First off, "weaponized" is too strong a word. It's more like "intentional incompetence."

Second, I've known both men and women to use this tactic, and anecdotally, I can't say that I've noticed one to use it more than another.

Third, I think there's a tendency to cry "weaponized incompetence" too often. Sometimes a husband or a wife might just not do it the way the other likes or might just genuinely not know how to do something correctly. I think "never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence" may be the funniest and best answer to all this in some cases.

awhatfor · 2022-05-25T20:25:29+00:00

Its a common comedy trope. It has being for a long term, you can see it on comedy a lot. And its something many children do. -Just mix the laundry(put some good towel there) and they won't ask you do it again!!!-. Its also an "old school" husband-and-wife joke ("straight boomer joke").

Calling it "weaponized" is kinda ridiculous, besides, there might be plenty reasons to do so: comunication flaws, insecurity, to simply avoid conflict, to entertain, etc.

Its so fucking funny they call "weaponized" when they literally claim they allow it just to be emotionally manipulative after. -throw a "i had no reason to do that but you ""weaponized your incompetence"". Well, madame, if you don't want to, you don't have to, and not knowing howto doesn't mean being unable to learn anyway. Taking it and being a bitch afterword is totally un-polite, at least for males(i know... ) .

I saw real "weaponizing incompetence": to refuse to help someone(or withold information) just to blame him for doing it bad after. At best, they manage to pull it off by doing extra unnecesary work, in that or other tasks.

alclarkey · 2022-05-26T00:58:04+00:00

I've done that at my job. Because the people who run my shop are a bunch of assholes, so who cares. But to my SO? Not a chance.

DavidByron2 · 2022-05-25T19:10:53+00:00

Almost every slogan or or phrase feminists come up with describing men is hate speech.

ie it's just a way to propagate hatred of men by demonizing them.

This would be an example.

It's something all people do sometimes consciously or not, and feminists mark it as a negative and then characterize it with men only. Like "mansplaining" or "manspreading" or "toxic masculinity" or "wife beater" -- all types of people do these things but in the feminist world only men are evil, only women are good.

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-05-25T19:15:16+00:00

I've only ever seen this in reverse - where a woman is intentionally doing something in a way differently than I've asked her to, ignoring the reason why I asked her to do it that way, coming up with a different result than expected, and then refusing to do the task the correct way afterwards, if ever again.

My own experience with this leads me to believe that if it's part of the feminist vernacular about men, it's because those women are projecting this onto men after they, themselves actually invented it.

AbysmalDescent · 2022-05-25T20:11:13+00:00

What's crazy is how people, feminists especially, seemingly fail to realize how much weaponized incompetence is actually ingrained into femininity and the many of the ideals that women follow. A lot of dating strategy for women is, by definition, a form of weaponized incompetence. Women expecting men to pay for them, perform menial tasks for them or to pursue them is a form of weaponized incompetence. Alimony and child support scams are another form of weaponized incompetence. Their inability and unwillingness to take control of their own fears, insecurities and prejudices, which they then push onto others, is a form of weaponized incompetence. When women play the victim to a harmless and innocent man, that is them weaponizing their own incompetence and abusing a form of systematic power. When women complain that their boyfriends isn't proposing and then belittle them for it, that is them weaponizing their own incompetence.

Misandrist women will attack men of weaponizing incompetence, for stuff like not doing chores, when those men are effectively just living their lives the way they feel comfortable with, but then completely neglect the countless ways in which women weaponize their own incompetence every day for far more sinister reasons and harmful results.

Pepperclue_55 · 2022-05-25T20:19:10+00:00

I think its a very real phenomenon- to take it out of gendered terms, I see it at work. Both male and female workers will feign difficulty completing tasks they dislike doing, with the hopes someone will do it for them or let them do it badly

StreetDelivery449 · 2022-05-25T18:58:34+00:00

Dear God. That's absolutely ridiculous. What is wrong with these people

test90001 · 2022-05-26T09:52:08+00:00

I have heard multiple men say they do this to their wives and it works, so it's definitely a real thing. In some cases it may simply be doing a task differently, but in others, it's intentional.

Whether it's as widespread as feminists claim, I have no idea.

McFeely_Smackup · 2022-05-26T16:53:16+00:00

I would never do that

yoitsericc · 2022-05-25T21:34:22+00:00

It's primarily a form of gaslighting - like if you are incompetent or slow at something, it's automatically a sign of intentional maliciousness rather than just, let's say, not knowing how to load the dishwasher a certain way.

denvercaniac · 2022-05-25T19:13:34+00:00

So now we're being bitched at for thinking differently.

Fuck this.

pnoecker · 2022-05-25T19:35:36+00:00

It's a part of their play book. "I was in a moment of weakness"

rom_sk · 2022-05-25T21:22:31+00:00

Those subs are outrage porn. Love yourself enough to avoid them

CaptainPrestedge · 2022-05-25T20:09:37+00:00

Women refuse to follow simple instructions citing "I'll do it my way" then fail and blame the mans instructions which is intentional incompetence and narcissistic.

A woman gives instructions she came up with in the same way as the first example "her way" and expects a man to follow illogical instructions. The man does it in a logical way or with a competent set of instructions, completes the task and it's somehow "weaponized incompetence" which is still narcissistic on the womens part.

Anyone who uses the phrase "weponized incompetence" is a complete and total narcissist and their opinion should be totally ignored...

ConsiderationOdd2929 · 2022-05-26T01:18:39+00:00

I have NEVER seen a bigger example of "weaponized incompetence" than a woman withholding sex from a man to get what she wants.

Since women are in the lead on this topic, feminists can kindly shut the fuck up.

*mic drop

Money_Bug_9423 · 2022-05-26T02:04:05+00:00

I think almost everything is weaponized incompetence these days. I mean industrial civilization is collapsing and billions of people are dying so what do you think is going to happen?

DeepMidWicket · 2022-05-26T04:48:15+00:00

My father 100% used to do this, unsure if he still does and he was given the idea by an equally shit person. It definitely is a thing that guys do, but like anything they are shit people, and shit people do shit things. But we don't need a "movement" to combat every personality defect that exists in shit people. We could instead go back to the old school method of acknowledging someone is a terrible person and just removing them from our lives.

Shrodingerscarbomb · 2022-05-26T04:59:56+00:00

I have literally never understood this. It’s hard enough living with one person forever and raising kids, my SO and I just play to each other’s strengths, instead of creating these battles to be fought over and over and attributing fallacious malicious intentions to each other. For example I feel like the house should be vacuumed more than my partner does, so I usually just am the one that vacuums, or if I want him to, I ask him and however he does it is fine. On the other side of things, he thinks about our grass and landscaping in general like a hundred times more than I ever do. I can never imagine him on some sub seething to other guys that I’m weaponizing my yard work incompetence to put everything on him because he’s been staring at a lawn that needs to be mowed for a week and I haven’t even noticed.

Wylanderuk · 2022-05-26T11:26:40+00:00

Hell its not like women don't pull the "tee hee but I am a woman...I can't do that!!!".

savemeihatemyjob · 2022-05-25T19:58:22+00:00

Men lead women follow...what's so hard to understand? These feminists need to reprogram themselves

PFfounder · 2022-05-25T20:34:38+00:00

Just another stupid sensationalistic word , unmansplaining.

Title	Thoughts on "weaponized incompetence"?
Author	camo_titanics_alt
Upvotes	31
Comments	50
Date	May 25, 2022 6:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/uxocs5/thoughts_on_weaponized_incompetence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/thoughts-on-weaponized-incompetence.1118590 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118590

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