stbx wants to come to a deal financially.

RedditDude07467 · 2022-05-17T16:32:34+00:00

Yes she’s obviously 100% playing a game. She’s gonna move the goal post so on you and say “well your proposal is a good starting offer, here’s my counter-offer” and be able to look like she still being reasonable. You need a lawyer ASAP.

gopherish · 2022-05-17T18:01:23+00:00

Tell your lawyer everything. Don’t ever withhold something. They’re there to protect you from yourself and others.

jimsmythee · 2022-05-17T18:47:01+00:00

It's a trick. It's a con! She knows you want to avoid a trial and you want to be done with this.

Here is what is going to happen. She's going to write up something and you'll say, "this isn't too horrible. I'm tired of this and I just want to get this over with." And you'll agree to it. You'll send to your lawyer and get documents going. Then I can 10000% guarantee this, she will think to herself, "Well, if he'll agree to this, then I can add in xxx, and yyy, and zzz!" Then she'll tell you, "I forgot to add in a few things. But if you agree to these items, then I'll agree and get divorced without trial."

You'll grit your teeth and say, "fine. I'll tell my lawyer to Add them. I want to be done with this!"

Then she'll come back and say, "I need you to add in aaa, and bbb, and ccc. If you do that, then I'll agree." And she will keep doing this forever.

So you need to do this. Don't ask her. Tell her, "Are you sincere in this? I am doing this ONCE. You draft up the divorce petition. I'll submit to my lawyer to fill it all out. If you come back wanting more, then I'm going to toss this and go straight to trial."

Hint; My exwife tried this. Her plan was to keep pestering me and making my life hell in the divorce process so that I would eventually cave. And it didn't. I told her, "I know the tricks and traps that you're trying to pull. I've been married to you for 11 years. It's not going to work. Not this time! I'll see you at trial!"

And the trial went heavily in my favor.

playerknowmore · 2022-05-17T19:12:00+00:00

Why can't you just tell her that you are no longer making legal decisions, so her lawyer can call your lawyer. You need to get use to not communicating with her. If you have kids get a parenting app. If you could have stayed friends you wouldn't be getting a divorce.

derelictherds · 2022-05-17T22:03:02+00:00

It's her idea. Let her to extend the offer to you via her lawyer. If you're sharing your thoughts, concerns, fears, strategy, etc with the STBX then you need to stop.

thefudmaster · 2022-05-17T17:21:38+00:00

No, and not only no, but hell no. Does she have an attorney? If not, I'd take it to trial and watch her fail miserably in court. However, If she is being reasonable, and has representation, I would entertain the idea of a financial settlement, but tell your STBX that it will include review by your legal counsel.

redditburner4me · 2022-05-17T17:56:29+00:00

That's what I thought thank you for the advice.

pegleg_legal · 2022-05-18T04:47:47+00:00

Generally speaking, the content of settlement negotiations cannot be used as evidence at trial. But frankly speaking, I don't understand what you've written.

AirSailer · 2022-05-17T16:57:15+00:00

Did you mean she wants to submit it to her lawyer?

hombredelgato · 2022-05-18T08:27:42+00:00

Are you negotiating over email? I did with mine giving me a chain of evidence of the changes from the original to the last. This killed any chance she could argue that she was “blindsided” by the official settlement offer.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-05-18T11:56:35+00:00

95% of divorces settle before trial. I never even met my judge.

Your lawyer works for you, not her. Your attorney can't represent her. In fact, your attorney will have her sign something acknowledging it. So your attorney is going to do whatever you tell your attorney to do.

rubix_fucked · 2022-05-18T18:13:27+00:00

The only deal your ex will offer you is a bad deal.

Consult with your lawyer.

Whatever she is up to it will not benefit you in any way.

No-Magazine2896 · 2022-05-23T05:07:02+00:00

She is not your wife. She is the enemy. She is out to destroy you and your future. Trust nothing she says or does. Ever.

Title	stbx wants to come to a deal financially.
Author	redditburner4me
Upvotes	11
Comments	20
Date	May 17, 2022 4:09 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/urpvis/stbx_wants_to_come_to_a_deal_financially/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stbx-wants-to-come-to-a-deal-financially.1119592 https://theredarchive.com/post/1119592

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