"Help, I'm going to be a parent, but I don't want to be!": The worst case scenario for each gender

DavidByron2 · 2022-06-27T04:54:06+00:00

C) Be a woman who takes a trip to the nearest Blue state on a weekend long shopping trip and abortion appointment you mean?

D) Be a woman who just takes a chemical abortifacient within a few days or weeks of getting pregnant.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-06-27T05:03:49+00:00

First, I am on your side. I’ve made other comments about how even without abortion, women still have many more options than men.

I’d like to clarify a couple things though.

A) depends on the jurisdiction and if the father knows about the pregnancy. In some places he has the right to claim the newborn before it goes to adoption and once he has full custody, can then file for child support from the mother. It’s pretty rare but just thought I should mention it. When women find out it’s a possibility they tend to just encourage each other to abort instead.

When I was a kid I wondered why more kids weren’t put up for adoption. After all there are more couples looking to adopt, especially infants than there are kids available. Later I realized that what else happens is the mother really forms strong emotional bonds late in pregnancy and at birth. Many many change their mind about placing the baby up for adoption once they hold it. Many surrogate mothers try to fight for a newborn they birthed that isn’t even genetically related to them.

EricAllonde · 2022-06-27T06:46:07+00:00

The average cost of 18 years of childcare in the USA is $105,000. That’s what is at stake when we allow women to force men into parenthood without our consent.

Nine months and done is by far the better option.

itscoldupheredude · 2022-06-27T18:29:29+00:00

It’s always great to choose that option that would never be possible for you isn’t it

GuaranteeUpstairs218 · 2022-06-27T19:01:40+00:00

The issue I see with option A is there are already so many orphans out there, and the older they get, the less chance there is for adoption and the abuse they could endure in foster care.

Shiroelf · 2022-06-27T20:42:35+00:00

Don't have sex unless you want a kid.

VeryFluffyKittyKats · 2022-06-28T10:36:27+00:00

Why are you making comparisons like this, especially when in the title you said it’s the worst case scenario for both genders? Why not just agree that both are bad, that it doesn’t matter which one is arguably “worse” and what matters is that we all fight for equality on both ends?

Besides, you worded your “A” point wrong—you go the rest of your life never being the same, not nine months. There are countless lists of problems that can occur after pregnancy—your body can literally change forever for the worse in multiple aspects, and there’s nothing you can do about it (changes of which none of you care to know, so I won’t list unless someone genuinely wants to know). Physical change isn’t the only thing, either—you can have severe mental challenges after pregnancy, too, even if you give the baby up. No matter how you feel about it, you’re tied to that child forever, because it’s eventually going to grow a conscious enough to execute free will, and then what?

Im not saying either is worse, both fucking suck and everyone comparing them or debating which is worse isn’t helping anything, especially when you’re ignoring a large majority of one side

edited for spelling

seesaw8 · 2022-06-28T03:31:16+00:00

Paying child support isn’t as hard as raising a child. It isn’t as much labor and ‘if time is money’ it doesn’t cost as much money.

You should know if someone is on the same page as you about abortion before having sex.

dampas450 · 2022-06-27T18:42:44+00:00

"consequence free" child bearing lmao, you're saying that as if bearing an unwanted child for 9 months isn't one of the most stressful things a person can experience, and all the emotional damage and guilt of discarding a child in a species that has evolved to do the exact opposite.

If I didn't want to have children I'd just get a vasectomy.

stacyxxluv · 2022-06-27T08:05:50+00:00

Don’t forget the birth and the recovery time after the 9 months though. For C-section that can be a few months. Also don’t forget possible post partum depression and other hormonal balances that can occur after birth. Maternal suicide has also massively increased and will increase a lot more if women are forced to give birth and then let their child be adopted. Don’t underestimate the emotional impact. It really isn’t as simple as just waiting it out 9 months and then going on with your life.

gamerlololdude · 2022-06-28T05:37:16+00:00

Hey man, this isn’t cool.

I don’t understand how this isn’t clear already. The issue with denying abortion is related to the issue of PREGNANCY.

Not parenthood. Not money. Not adoption.

But the aspect of a body going through pregnancy which if you read in-depth about you will see can be painful, traumatic, permanently disfiguring, can kill you. it is not some innate thing for people with a uterus to be okay going through pregnancy. by default a human may not want this happening to their body. it is terrifying when pregnancy and child birth happens against a person's will.

on a different note, if you personally feel happy with the thought of going through pregnancy you may be a trasngender woman.

You glossing over “grow a child” shows you don’t seem to have in-depth understanding on how reproduction works. What that actually means to the days and events and complications.

May097 · 2022-06-27T11:04:37+00:00

Are we really making this comparison? What good would it do exactly?

vyshnavshemej · 2022-06-28T15:53:59+00:00

This is a horrible way to look at things, and even worse terrible that you’re okay with the government just taking away women’s reproductive rights. Imagine a woman, a girl even that has an unwanted pregnancy be it WHATEVER the reason she doesn’t want it. That’s not upto us to decide unless that happen due to consented sex from you, and even then she should has the right to make her decision since it’s her body. Living with something growing inside of you, that will ultimately be a human being, a part of you and then giving it up, Is not as easy as you just made it seem. It’s just not that easy. Sure there must be a handful of women that you could cherry pick to justify your theory, but if we’re cherry-picking too how does that make us any better? Those 9 months are supposed to be some of the most strenuous and stressful times for a human being. And then letting go of this human that is part of your flesh and bone? None of that is as easy as you just made it seem. I am with you on how unfair the current child support system is but don’t drag and ridicule something to get your point across.

savewayvfromsm · 2022-06-28T23:20:26+00:00

The worst case scenario for a woman is death. I don’t understand why you’re making a comparison here

heheueuusud · 2022-06-27T15:22:08+00:00

This is a stupid argument. There's also a child involved here and their needs need to be considered too.

"Imagine that you are someone who wants to avoid being a parent at all cost."

First up I'd suggest using contraception at all times to minimise the risk of that happening. Secondly I'd advise not sleeping with women that show red flags (the crazies are usually pretty easy to spot).

Also there are other options open to men apart from the one you mentioned. Be an engaged father (you never know, you might enjoy it), or if you don't want to do that find a job overseas and you'll never have to pay anything.

Title	"Help, I'm going to be a parent, but I don't want to be!": The worst case scenario for each gender
Author	RandomThrowaway410
Upvotes	51
Comments	101
Date	June 27, 2022 4:44 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/vln8lf/help_im_going_to_be_a_parent_but_i_dont_want_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/help-im-going-to-be-a-parent-but-i-dont-want-to-be.1121311 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121311

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