Do you wish to play the "feminine" role, or the "masculine" role in a relationship? Do you really know what you want in a relationship?

hyperlinktoZelda_v2 · 2022-07-03T01:50:01+00:00

I wish to be a functioning adult with his shit together in the streets and a boytoy in the sheets.

Novadina · 2022-07-03T01:42:47+00:00

No, I think “masculine roles” and “feminine roles” are both bullshit. In my house we do the stuff we are best at or want to, and for things neither of us prefer, we split the chore 50/50 and take turns. For most of our relationship we made around the same money, when my career took off I made more. I have gotten into cooking in the last 5 years or so and do that more, but he helps. We do both do laundry and dishes. My husband likes cars and does all the car maintenance. I’m better with finances so I handle most of that. No one is dominant or submissive, we have an egalitarian partnership.

decoy88 · 2022-07-03T10:48:25+00:00

I don’t need a role or a script. I just do what the fuck I want.

2022-07-03T02:57:07+00:00

From a very simplistic binary view of gender roles my preferred role would be considered masculine.

gofigure62 · 2022-07-03T07:30:28+00:00

I don't want to "play" at all. I want a compatible parter that fits into my life as is. We should naturally reciprocate our strengths and make up for each other's weaknesses with our own inherent personality traits.

Natural and authentic compatibility cuts through the bullshit where people don't have to "perform" and pretend to be something that they're not.

I'm not going to shape shift and read bullshit scripts of remedial social sterotypes.

I either naturally work with someone else or I don't. I don't date people if being with them feels like a job that I'm not getting paid for.

bluestjuice · 2022-07-03T11:34:21+00:00

I don’t believe in gender essentialism so much of this doesn’t resonate with me. I want fairly egalitarian relationships but I’m flexible about the details of what that looks like. I’m most comfortable in a relationship where everyone is contributing financially, and it’s important to me to divide household responsibilities equitably as well.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-07-03T02:19:42+00:00

I want us both to be masculine.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-07-03T02:34:54+00:00

Do you know what you want

It’s important for both people to know what they want. First as individuals; then collaboratively as a couple; then ultimately as a family.

questioning himself

That’s the most important factor in self awareness.

confidence issues and insecurity

This is the antithesis of Masculinity. Doubt is understandable. As you stated however knowing, not only where you are, but where you’re going; is fundamental. To a man’s sense of self efficacy.

Do you wish to play the “feminine” role

The majority of men cannot. As they don’t have the luxury. Of either a large pool of women to pick from, or indulge them.

Godspeed and good luck!

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-07-03T03:26:05+00:00

Being in the masculine male role is natural for me and I also want it.

2022-07-03T03:54:05+00:00

I don't necessarily agree with everything tied in these roles, nor do I necessarily think lumping a bunch of traits together like this and assigning it a gender equivalency is healthy for anyone involve. It leads to some pretty bad outcomes sometimes for both men and women who try to follow them especially closely when maybe they don't ideally match them or don't actually really want them but have been taught that it was really the only way.

I can say things that I like. Things I tend to do. But most of these qualities should really be split with say from both partners, homemaking, decision making, workload, emotional investment, so on. Things that I like? I like being the top. But I don't necessarily like being the stronger partner, not that either is a deal breaker or anything to me. I may be the smaller and weaker between myself and my girlfriend but I'm definitely the more confrontational if someone disrespects either of us. That's not really a relationship role so much as just a personality trait though. See what I mean when I see these bundles of expectations aren't always just the best system to work with. When thought over they don't always really help in any way besides oversimplification.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-07-03T04:29:58+00:00

I’m a masculine man not because I “want” to be but because I am, and its what my wife (and most men and most women and society) expects and needs me to be. I don’t “like” it, but I derive a sense of satisfaction from it. Its scary, painful, makes me anxious, but it is the best way for me to be valued, and therefore for me to survive, and thrive.

EulenWatcher · 2022-07-03T04:32:28+00:00

Neither of what you've described. I'm egalitarian and I've always struggled with applying strict hierarchical gender roles to myself or dating overall. I'm not naturally submissive, I don't need a man to "lead me", I don't need a provider, I want a partner, a person who is equal to me and who sees me as their equal. My husband and I make plans together and we work on them together. There's no hierarchy, one can't decide for another on a big scale of things.

I do have feminine traits just as I have some masculine ones. I think you can be show some traits of both sets without turning it into competition or strict hierarchy in your relationships. I can be cute and girly with him without being submissive. I also can be dedicated to my work and bring more financially without being dominating. He can be very protective and, well, he's far physically stronger than I am, but he doesn't feel the need to dominate me to show off his strength/masculinity. He also can be nurturing and caring or be a better homemaker than I am, again, without being submissive in any way.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-07-03T11:25:16+00:00

The thought of staying at home while my husband is working makes me wince. Both of us will work, like most adults in my country do anyway. The major decisions should be made together. The concept of "leader" or "boss of the house" makes no sense to me, one of us will be better prepared or equipped to tackle issue A, and another for issue B, and we have to communicate and work as a team.

I however love certain aspects of a feminine role. For example, I genuinly enjoy cooking, especially cooking for my bf (I have to step my baking game up a bit tho). I love to take care of him, and I really want to be a mom one day. Back to back with this last wholesome sentence I will also add that I'm completely submissive in the bedroom.

Ohms2North · 2022-07-03T01:44:33+00:00

Masculine 100%.

I do want to experience what it's like to be wine and dined tho. I want to be sitting at the dinner table having her try to charm me and pay for my dinner.

Barely-moral · 2022-07-03T02:32:36+00:00

I am a man. I know what I want in s relationship I would love to play the female role. I hate playing the female role. Our definitions of said roles don't seem to differ that much.

The thing is that I am a man, the things I can't change about me are unfortunate and also need to be in a relationship or o get suicidal.

It is not about what I want in a relationship. It is about me needing a relationship and a stable one. So I play the male role and I get what I need. What I want is something I can't afford.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-03T02:52:39+00:00

Two people can't fit into a pair of pants and only one person can wear the pants.

ValentPerspective · 2022-07-03T02:23:33+00:00

The man should always be in the masculine role, simple as

2022-07-03T01:39:12+00:00

I want to be in the masculine role, absolutely. Even going towards nonconsensual consent, freeuse, and benevolent misogyny in public to dominating misogyny in the bedroom.

I want to have the option to use her body to please my cock whenever I want, and in exchange I will give her the assurance and security that my unrestricted access to her will not abuse her, embarrass her, or harm her.

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Peacesquad · 2022-07-03T03:22:40+00:00

More of a feminine role for me. I will have a career and help provide financially (and I expect my future husband to help with domestic and child work) but I want to be a feminine wife.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2022-07-03T05:22:58+00:00

Depends on the relationship. There has been some girls where I just want to be a cute sub boy and do whatever they want. Be their toy and clean the home and cook and have them choose my outfits, etc.

However, there is some girls that it is the exact opposite. So it just depends on the girl

tgirlbreeder90 · 2022-07-03T06:29:16+00:00

Last few relationships I've been masculine asf outside of bed but in bed I can be such a boy toy slut lmao. But seriously with my current gf, she likes it that way because we can play roles where we take control. Both can be fun if you're not to hung up on gendet roles.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-07-03T13:39:31+00:00

I like gender roles, however I have zero interest in marriage or even cohabitation. So while I enjoy them, I'm not going reduce my life to just one role. I think this problem isn't unique to me, a lot of other people share it but don't realize it until divorce #2 or 3.

Bikerbats · 2022-07-03T21:10:32+00:00

You don't have to choose everything from one side of the list. For example: My wife has always been the breadwinner, but I'm the protector. Especially early in her career when she was working rural hospitals for loan forgiveness and we lived in the middle of nowhere, it would be me out in the dark with a flashlight and shotgun investigating noises while she and the children peeked through the window.

Title	Do you wish to play the "feminine" role, or the "masculine" role in a relationship? Do you really know what you want in a relationship?
Author	ShiNoKikai
Upvotes	7
Comments	52
Date	July 3, 2022 1:36 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vq6br3/do_you_wish_to_play_the_feminine_role_or_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-wish-to-play-the-feminine-role-or-the.1121643 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121643

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