WAATGM, Aged 41, Girlbosssssss, wonders why she can't get married and have kids

mustangfrank · 2022-07-07T00:21:32+00:00

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bouncer_throwaway · 2022-07-07T00:33:24+00:00

Same shit different day. Nothing to say or see here that hasn't been said or seen before. She spent her whole life grinding away at her career, has "dated" (read: fucked) her way up and down the SES ladder from doctor to hobo, and just can't find a good man. She has gone on over 120 first dates in two years, a number which frankly boggles the mind.

Actually, I want to poke at that number a bit. A hundred and twenty first dates in two years. There's only 208 Fridays and Saturdays in that time frame, meaning this woman has spent 58% of her weekend nights on first dates. So when this woman says that

according to my male friends, I’m smart, beautiful, fit

Please read orbiters and boyfriends/husbands-of-female-friends in lieu of "male friends". But when she says this, she is clearly not bullshitting. A 41-year-old does not get to spend 58% of her weekends on first dates if she is not attractive. The 40 and 50-somethings that she is pursuing are definitely not willing to waste their time and money with a woman whose odds of having a successful pregnancy are about 0 if she was ugly to boot. So clearly the issue is not that she is fat and ugly. If she is not fat and ugly, then her personality and needs must be the issue.

What kind of person do you have to be to go on a hundred and twenty first dates, and not find someone you're willing to at least try spending a month or two dating? What ungodly level of pickiness and "he must be" do you have to have to get to that point? I mean my god. In later comments she of course says she's "not picky", but we all know that's a load of shit. When challenged on her pickiness, she says that

I want someone kind, loyal, good in bed, happy, smart enough and yes, I’ll admit eager to grow and learn as a person. Don’t care a wit about six figures, vegan , though all my married women friends say I should !! :)

This is in response to an accusation of being a 666er. Someone points out that "smart enough" might be the sticking point, as she clearly believes she is extremely intelligent. Her response?

This probably sounds really arrogant, but I’ve long given up finding a man as smart as me:)

A basic ability to carry on a conversation and make decisions based on data would be nice

And would you look at that? It turns out she actually is just insufferable. Aside from sounding like a cringe-inducing fedora tipping atheist from the early 2000s, this WAATGM clearly believes that she is God's gift to intelligence. After all, she cannot ever find a man as intelligent as her, and she's dated doctors. To repeat myself, my god. How arrogant can you possibly be, after dating doctors and engineers and lawyers, to believe that you are the single smartest person in every room that you walk into?

A final comment from this WAATGM, because really, her own words say it all better than any of us possibly could.

Oddly enough, despite being a proud weirdo, I find almost every guy I go out with wants to see me again. So that’s cool, and I appreciate that! I think it’s partly because I’m grounded and kind, and partly because I’m pretty, rarely because I feel truly seen and appreciated for being the delightful weirdo I am.

With regards to your second point, I can’t tell you how much I loathe the word, “picky” which I find to be used so much when in comes to dating and by so many people in this thread. Can’t we at least say “selective”? The word picky makes me think of someone picking their nose not picking a partner.

120 first dates. "Almost all" of them resulted in the guy asking for a second. She declined. No tingles. But her being picky certainly can't be the problem. Of course not.

Ah well. These are the tears that make us laugh.

NutsLikeMelons · 2022-07-07T02:28:01+00:00

I am yet to meet a single woman who can accept the simple fact that as they get older they get less desirable. It just kills them.

gentle_lemon · 2022-07-07T01:13:21+00:00

If she's doing all of this and still not coming up with a *single* potential lead she must have some dealbreaker personality disorder, is addicted to something, or looks like a nutcase.

You know, when you walk around and everything smells like shit, you might want to check the bottom of your own shoe.

TheGalator · 2022-07-07T00:56:07+00:00

Kids at 41?

Fluid_Fold5799 · 2022-07-07T01:50:19+00:00

When you have 120 dates and dont find a suitable partner then you are the problem.

xbox2024 · 2022-07-07T01:59:30+00:00

120 dates in 2 years. My three friends and i have never been on a date and we are all in our 30s. Just another female living on recruit difficulty.

WhereProgressIsMade · 2022-07-07T00:46:15+00:00

41? Even if she found a husband, her chances of getting pregnant and carrying a child to term is dropping like a rock. No man who is serious about wanting kids is going to take those odds. A fresh 29 was my cutoff to have a couple years to vet and then try for 2-3 kids before she hit 35 and the high risk pregnancy category.

p3ngwin · 2022-07-07T05:02:53+00:00

As usual "encouragement only ....."

Not reality, not actual feedback on the truth of her situation, nothing that would suggest she is the problem and give her any agency in her own dilema, only good vibes please !

Intelligent-Bet-8507 · 2022-07-07T02:29:57+00:00

If she’s still going on that many dates at 41 she must still have some decent looks. I can tell her mindset is that of “well maybe the next guy will be even more perfect, let me keep searching!” The clock is ticking so she better act fast cause time will come when she’s not going on any dates.

The-truth-hurts1 · 2022-07-07T05:50:34+00:00

41 and for the last 2 years… last 2? What about the 20 years before that? Only been looking the last 2 years because the old biological clock is all but over.. left your run for kids way too late..

2022-07-07T03:31:12+00:00

The love hack she is looking for is to build a time machine and go back to her 20s.

Mister_McDerp · 2022-07-07T07:27:53+00:00

Clear case of no one will be ever good enough for her.

Edit: My first diagnosis after reading the additional comments here is "narcissist".

Bob_and_Virginia · 2022-07-07T10:17:06+00:00

Wait a minute...could...could it be...that she's just...fuh...fuh...FAT?!

2022-07-07T14:01:50+00:00

All that whining and yet she has a legion of men in her friendzone (yes, even at 41) who would gladly be her knight in shining armor. After all, they already tell her how perfect she is; that’s just their way of giving her compliments and hoping she’ll see that her soulmate was in front of her all along.

Can’t have that though - their purpose in her life is to give her free attention and gifts when Chad isn’t giving those things to her.

MastermindX · 2022-07-07T14:13:20+00:00

Please encouragement only

I encourage her to get a bunch of cats.

ForgotOldAcc-_- · 2022-07-07T11:29:20+00:00

How does she want kids at 41?

AzLibDem · 2022-07-07T13:31:09+00:00

Her hard line is that she wants a kid; that's just not going to happen.

Since she's already 41, it not only means the kid will be college age when she's hitting retirement, but also that it's dangerous, and will get more so day by day.

That means that any guy would have to be willing to start right away; no romance, no travel, no time to just be a couple.

No man that would meet her standards is going to be interested in that.

sleepyweaselisawake · 2022-07-07T14:27:50+00:00

120 dates and she reeks of desperation. Men don't want her because she's looking to get married and knocked up within 6 months. Guys, like myself, in her age range who have never been married, no kids are fucking younger, hotter women. When it comes to women my own age.. I'm only willing to be casual, which they agree to until they decide they want a relationship and I gently remind them we agreed to be casual.

kevin_bean · 2022-07-07T11:22:29+00:00

Been on 120+ dates in 2 years, devoted the remainder of her life to learning how to date + finding dates and even moved cross country purely because of dating statistics. Good thing she's not too needy.

Joaquino7997 · 2022-07-07T12:11:39+00:00

When a woman has to 'crowdsource' to find someone...SHE is the fucking problem!

After reading HALF of this, I was exhausted! What man is going to want to put up with a woman her age, much less one who seems to suffers from one helluva case of FOMO?!?!

Swipe left and leave this boss on the boulevard - where she belongs!

Worgensgowoof · 2022-07-07T17:43:20+00:00

"More educated men to women, so more marriagable men"

Welp, you know shes a wannabe gold digger.

ogrilla99 · 2022-07-08T03:33:53+00:00

Part of her problem is, however attractive she is now, she was much more attractive in her 20s and 30s, and attracted far more of the men she wants: 30s-40s attractive, rich, never married men who want kids. When she says she's "serious" about finding a life-long partner now, what she means isn't that she wants the same type of guy who she used to date 10-20 years ago, and somehow get that guy to commit to her now, even though he wouldn't back then, and so no way in hell he'd do so now.

Women who genuinely want commitment-minded men find them early and get married quickly. They're not hard to find in your 20s. But women who want the exciting bad boy who has no plans beyond what bar to hit up this weekend, 20 years later, still want the same guy, except somehow hoping that guy will finally commit, while staying the care free, exciting guy she also wants.

IOW, she wants fried ice. Before, she was fine with plain ice, but now she wants it fried, and can't imagine why, after 120 dates, she can't find it. Either she still finds ice, or she finds fried food. But hell if she's going to settle for either of those! She's entitled to fried ice, damnit!

ReplyisFutile · 2022-07-07T08:43:32+00:00

Its ok, lets assume she is one of the most beautiful woman with supernatural powers from some semi-god race, and she is stranded on this planet of mere mortals. If she chose not to lower her standard she will be alone until her last days and its ok.

Fairwareprovidence · 2022-07-07T21:32:47+00:00

Funny how a man needs 1/10 the amount (or less) the amount of dates as a woman to make something stick.

Spoilers: I had three. In my life. And I am married for 10 years with 3 kids.

kingcheezit · 2022-07-07T17:23:55+00:00

What is she going to do?

Accept she is a car crash of a human being and that she has fucked her life up and go buy a cat.

CovidCommando21 · 2022-07-07T23:12:44+00:00

invested myself in therapy...ooh boy. Why do people think that is attractive. Shes done all the "self help books", immersed self in a bunch of kooky and narcissisticic religious practices. It sounds like she has done everything except try to get to know a man in hopes they are compatible and enjoy each other's company enough to want to spend their lives together.

If she was truly Buddhist, btw, she would see her absence of the complications marriage brings as a positive. More time to reach enlightenment. Less noise in general.

So much wrong here it's ridiculous. How much you want to bet all (or at least a few) of her male friends validating her are interesting in their own right and somehow interested in her but she "doesn't think of them that way". Lol I'd love to see pics and/or what the "important work" she is doing is.

HighLordDudeness · 2022-07-12T07:11:06+00:00

It's always funny to me when women freak out about child bearing age, thinking we're being perverts or creeps. The reality is, and the studies are there for anyone who cares to look, that child bearing past the mid 30's is dangerous, not to mention how hard it is to even conceive at that point. This lady is delusional

anonymouse604 · 2022-07-07T23:27:40+00:00

There’s one common denominator here.

parajumper80 · 2022-07-07T18:46:15+00:00

She should have moved to a military base

2022-07-07T09:00:20+00:00

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chirruphowlinkeeaahh · 2022-07-08T00:28:12+00:00

Must be having off attitude that men that wants to marry don't want in their life especially as a spouse. Rest is all here.

Ill_Drop7588 · 2022-07-21T14:42:53+00:00

120+ dudes hot DAMN. Like Roddy Rich's album Feed Da Streets

Holiday-Strategy-643 · 2022-07-07T04:20:20+00:00

She's hung up on an ex. There is someone she's pining after, which is why she hasn't connected with any of her 120 first dates. She sounds lonely and it's just kind of sad. Why trash her?

Title	WAATGM, Aged 41, Girlbosssssss, wonders why she can't get married and have kids
Author	bouncer_throwaway
Upvotes	198
Comments	128
Date	July 7, 2022 12:16 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/vt4ujx/waatgm_aged_41_girlbosssssss_wonders_why_she_cant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/waatgm-aged-41-girlbosssssss-wonders-why-she-cant.1122774 https://theredarchive.com/post/1122774

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