Have you ever wondered and asked yourself what you consider rude? Or weird? Or odd? Or creepy? Many of us will think of outlandish unrealistic scenarios that rarely ever happen to convince ourselves that these judgments are objective. Such as a person stalking your house for a month straight. Or having a stranger randomly come up to you and insult you because of your weight or face or race loudly in public. Sure, some of these things happen here and there, but they're rare.

Most of the time, these behaviors are remarkably subjective, and your judgment of them depend on how you perceive the other person. How well you know a person plays a role. How attractive you find them plays a role. Etc etc. I learned this first hand from my own life experience. I have always been a very direct person sexually in terms of my intentions. This is probably because I spent a lot of my life sexually sheltered due to details I don't want to go into but that's just how I am. When I was short with bad skin, I was seen as unattractive, and almost all women that I met would not like how direct I was. Some would call it excessively rude and needy. Even while trying to be respectful about my intentions, I was ultimately seen as weird for being direct. The responses were often of the "you're not hot enough to be this much of an asshole" variety, even though in my eyes, I was just being honest and not an asshole.

Ever since about two years ago, when I started taking myself more seriously in terms of fitness, and thanks to a late height/puberty boost, I am seen as attractive, and do very well on dating apps. But my intentions didn't change. Now all of a sudden, almost every woman I've been with loved how direct I was. The women below my league allow it the most but I've noticed that women in general, including plenty of attractive ones, love the directness as long as they find you attractive too. Even the women who don't like how direct I am usually say "well atleast you're being honest" instead of the usual "I hope you learn how to talk to a woman some day" response I would get before. It quite literally switched from "I've never met someone as obnoxious as you" to "I've never had a man talk to me like this and I love it". Some of the stuff I've said is so wild I don't even feel like repeating it, but the wilder it is, the better the results if they're interested in you and the worse the results (possible social suicide) if they don't.

I am completely aware that men do this too, if not more, and I'm not trying to completely blame women here. The amount of men i've seen literally let women walk over them just for a whiff of pussy is insane and is still the driving factor behind why so many men have it bad. With that being said, I do think women tend to be less self aware of this or simply deny it, where men on the other hand who do this often admit to it.

The point of this post is to not blame a gender though. The point is that chances are, if you're seen as exhibiting bad behavior from women (or men) for being honest, unless you're autistic or literally a psychopath, it's not always you that's the problem. It's probably just you not being interesting/attractive enough to them