What do you think of girls paying on the first date?

hissyyfit1 · 2023-01-02T20:08:32+00:00

At 16, I think it’s a good idea for both of you to pay, at least in the beginning. It’s not like the 16 kid who asked you out is financially independent, and he’s probably getting a little help from his parents to take you out. Plus a lot of teenagers are saving for college/cars/etc around that age, and it just isn’t the same as when you’re over 18.

Once you’re an adult, that’s when it’s a better idea to want the man to pay if you’re looking for something more traditional. In the past I always offered to split the bill on first dates a bit coyly, and the guy always insisted he would cover the bill. Besides the changing times, the “entitled” thing probably comes from the idea of taking a girl out who expects to be treated well just by gracing the guy with her presence, and doesn’t show any appreciation/is rude afterward or something.

nganon1 · 2023-01-02T19:34:29+00:00

If he offers to pay, I let him otherwise I would split the bill. But if I know I'm not interested and don't want to see him again then I split the bill.

ghua · 2023-01-02T19:59:43+00:00

If the date was good then split the bill unless he really insists on paying, then let him. It communicates the right things - you are not trying to take an advantage of him, you have money, you are willing to share costs etc etc

algo_trader_6ix · 2023-01-02T19:10:11+00:00

Generally speaking guys usually pay the first date and you can offer to split on future dates. There are also guys that will turn down your offer and continue to pay. It is up to them at that point. Considering your age, the confusion arises in young men since they are always told about 'equality', however it doesn't seem to apply when it comes to finances around dating. This was less of a problem in previous generations when the masculine/feminine dynamic was more clear.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2023-01-03T17:19:21+00:00

When I dated, if a man offered to split the bill with me on the first date, I wasn’t interested in a second.

I paid on the first date with my husband because I matched with him on a dating app and didn’t respond to him for nearly a month. I apologized for not responding to him for so long and he made a joke about me owing him dinner and I was in a good mood, so I did:) he paid for like the next 5 or so after that though.

kittenegg25 · 2023-01-03T16:39:16+00:00

I've always been asked by the guy and then he pays because he is asking me out.

jenna_grows · 2023-01-02T19:27:44+00:00

In my experience, more traditional men don’t do this (very few men, even less traditional ones, have).

But I never went out as and with a teenager expecting them to act like a husband at that age.

It’s sort of like when people say you shouldn’t do a personality test before the age of 25 (or whatever it is) because they’re still growing. A guy that always pays on dates at 16 may do the opposite after a decade of dating and vice versa.

Edit: it also depends a lot of what the dominant cultural norms are in whichever place you are dating.

dogsmoking · 2023-01-02T23:22:16+00:00

I always offer to pay. To me it's just polite and courteous. Especially when you're young, you don't tend to have a huge amount of disposable income to spend on a nice date. 90% of the time the offer gets refused anyway but the intention is still sincere. I've split bills before and had a great time.

Diamond-Breath · 2023-01-04T22:58:58+00:00

When I was a teenager my boyfriend always paid. Now as an adult the dynamic is practically the same, not the same guy though. Men can't expect femininity and submission if they can't even provide for you.

Peanut_Cheese888 · 2023-01-21T16:29:24+00:00

If I don’t really have interest in him and don’t think there will be a second date, I offer to split it. If he agrees to it I won’t say yes to an invite for a second date. If he insists on paying it will depend on how he treats me afterwards in terms of texting and I will re-think whether I would like to see him again or not. If the man says at start of the date that he splits everything (also happened once), I tell him it was nice meeting him but I need to go home early and end our date. Obviously my view is that who invited the other person to the date, pays for it and that’s what I will also my opinion that I will be sharing with him. If he just assumes that we split when we get the bill I guess I just agree to it but I’ll also let him know that there wont be a second date.

ALSO it’s not that I always expect for the man to pay. Often times, when the date is lunch and he pays for it I also offer to have a drink later and I pay for both of us. But then see here I also invite him for drinks so then I pay.

Routine_Owl811 · 2023-01-02T19:37:09+00:00

Here in the UK (I'm male) EVERY woman I've been on a date with has insisted on paying half for first dates. In a world where women want to be paid the same as men, I believe it's only fair. That being said, if I've gotten to know this person I'll often take them out, my paying.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-01-03T00:38:51+00:00

I always decline a girl’s offer, and then, if she makes it a second time I claim “I would be offended.” That is more about just stopping the conversation from continuing on that point than anything else.

On a sidenote, I once started dating a girl who would hint at asking me how much money I made. After a while, I called her out on it, and she explained that she was a successful entrepreneur, and women found that out they expected her to pay for everything.

Me: ”Oh, don’t worry, I just want you for sex!”

Her: ”I can’t wait to tell my mom that I finally met a man who just wants me for sex!”

Murky-Finish-8922 · 2023-01-02T19:12:05+00:00

If I know they’re in a similar financial situation to me (college student only working part time) I definitely offer to split the bill, but if I know for a fact they’re older and making a lot more money than me/have an established career I usually let them pay. I’ll still offer to split it early in a relationship with someone older/wealthier if I can afford it to be polite, but if they’ve invited me somewhere expensive, knowing I’m a student who makes very little money, I would expect them to pay

mediapoison · 2023-01-03T14:49:29+00:00

you should never go into any situation "expecting someone to pay". It is rude to think someone else should pay to hang out with you. if you do this you are more likely to be seen in a favorable light and the other person might want to be nice to you and pay. But if you are complaining and dulll like a tooth ache no one wants that. "Rules" don't exist. It is more negotiation. If a man pays he might expect something. If a woman expects it she expects something from the man. If your partner has no means to pay, that should be a red flag and you should run away as fast as possible. I started working at 13 and would never ask woman out for a date if I had no means to pay. No excuses!

CellularOhio9 · 2023-01-03T02:22:36+00:00

Maybe I have traditional values but I expect the guy to pay on the first date BUT if he wants to split it then I'd split it. It's kinda up to him seeing as relationships are up to men and that's what a date is there to explore the option of.

AutoModerator · 2023-01-02T19:00:36+00:00

Title: What do you think of girls paying on the first date?

Full text: Hello, I’m a 16F and this is a question that’s always been bothering me because I hear guys say that they would prefer a girl to split the bill, but I’ve always felt that whoever asked for the date should expect to pay. However they consider girls who think like this to be “entitled”. I’m a little conflicted right now, any opinions?

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Available-Ad-9338 · 2023-01-05T13:39:50+00:00

The first date should always be cheap and low-investment. Go for a coffee/ice cream.

Title	What do you think of girls paying on the first date?
Author	raincloud06
Upvotes	5
Comments	29
Date	January 2, 2023 7:00 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/101khmo/what_do_you_think_of_girls_paying_on_the_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-do-you-think-of-girls-paying-on-the-first.1147398 https://theredarchive.com/post/1147398

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