So, how does a guy supposed to get confidence and be interesting to women?

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2023-02-01T00:36:50+00:00

So find your own hobbies, people are interesting when they have something that they can talk about, into a niche film genre? Cool, tell me about it, tell me why you're interested in it. Furniture builder? Great, show me your work tell me about it, seeing pride in something you've achieved is attractive, (not arrogance), are there people who think you're hobby is dumb, probably there are hobbies I have zero interest in hearing about, but having a passion for something gives someone a bit of depth

Narbonar · 2023-02-01T01:02:05+00:00

I think you already said the answer. Confidence comes from experience. Find new hobbies. It will suck being at the bottom of the totem pole for a while but overtime you’ll build up. Video games might be a hobby your passionate about, but try to expand to some more social hobbies. Again it might be uncomfortable at first but there’s no way around it.

WWhiMM · 2023-02-01T04:39:01+00:00

Confidence is being comfortable with who you are and with what you do. If you feel like there's something wrong with you, that's a lack of confidence.
I see myself as boring and normal, but to other people I seem confident in my eccentricity. Whatever you're into, enjoy it unapologetically (assuming it's not somehow harming people). You become interesting when you embrace your inner passion for stuff and let yourself get exceedingly into it.

Mean_Mechanic9889 · 2023-02-01T01:45:23+00:00

It's meeting a girl who's into your interests, she'll find you incredibly interesting.

If your interests arn't common, woman intetested in them won't be common. But you've got plenty of good match partners out their :)

Your confidence in your knowledge of the shared interest. Will be all you need

EmbarrassedEmu27 · 2023-02-01T08:27:12+00:00

Confidence is believing that you are capable of doing it rather than already knowing or been done it. Looks like you don’t have reference of doing things outside your comfort zone hence finding it difficult is have a reference for what it is to be confident.

What is currently lifestyle ? Are you working or studying?. How many male friends do you have?. How often do you socialise with them?. If you don’t socialise with them start somewhere where you could socialise. There are apps where people want to practise English with native speakers. Try talking different topics and see how others respond. Can you teach something? . Do something radical that you haven’t tried so far. It could be even competing for a contest or taking cooking class. Do you like dogs, if so can you get a part time or volunteer at events and start chatting with people there. Confidence is build through practice. Even worst case scenario you failing at these places there is no big consequence.

You still have a lot of time to build yourself. Instead using dating and women as the only source of your validation you could try seeking companionship from people in general.

I have ADHD and tons of interest and hobbies yet people have told me that I am boring hence understand the reality that you won’t appealing for everyone in the world and that’s okay.

Gmed66 · 2023-02-03T03:35:40+00:00

Confidence and not being boring are two different things.

Being confident isn't going to make you attractive. Lack of confidence makes you unattractive. Just like being unemployed makes you unattractive, being employed doesn't make you attractive. Guys often get confused in thinking that there's a list of traits you need to be attractive when it's rather just a list of red flags you don't want to have.

Being boring isn't a red flag though. If you're going for a super quiet girl, being "boring" can be just fine. But if you're going for a girl who likes to go out or party or just anyone who is a bit social; then lack of excitement will be a huge attraction killer. Forget being boring, you need to be the opposite and actually bring excitement to the table in this case.

ManInTheArena12 · 2023-02-01T05:20:39+00:00

Don't try to "be something" to attract females.

Confidence comes from understanding who you are not. Yes I wrote that right. It doesn't come from knowing who you are, because who you are is masked by who you are not.

You are not worthless because you got bullied. You are not unattractive because something a girl said to you at school. You are not unlovable because your dad didn't treat you well, etc. Thousands of examples.

Until you realise what you are not, what you are trying to be or who you think you are, will be a compensation for your perceived and often unconscious inadequacies.

This is the basis of Red Pill and why Red Pill men are nothing but insecurity masquerading as masculinity. They need to "be something" to compensate for the perceived inadequacies. They need to maintain a false self, because they do not understand their true self.

Mind you, that's 99.9% of people, it's just Red Pill is a supercharged and dangerous version of it, because the overcompensation causes significant harm to others.

The answer, if you want to be at peace with yourself, is not in becoming someone different, it is in understanding what you already are not.

I worked all this out some years ago, and healed all these areas, now I have inner peace and confidence which is not dependent on anything but my true worth which is permanent and unmovable.

All the "high value" bullshit they say, "I" have, not my true self, but what you would call me. I'm 43, in shape, muscles, grew a $200m business, amazing house, investments, exotic cars. None of that makes ONE scrap of difference to my value. Not a scrap. I'd be just valuable if I was a bum. Until you can understand that you'll never be truly confident.

Your value is not in how much other people (men or women) value you. Until you really get that, you won't get anything.

Once you start to understand that, or even before, it doesn't matter, you need discover what you're passionate about.

"Successful" people don't become successful people because they want to be successful people. I use the term success here in western sense, but that's erroneous, and a whole topic on its own.

Bill Gates didn't become "successful" because he wanted to be successful, he became successful because he was passionate about computers, and let his passion fly.

Warren Buffett didn't become "successful" because he wanted to be successful, he became successful because he was passionate about company values, and let his passion fly.

Elon Musk, engineering and bettering humanity, Henry Ford, motor cars, Steve Jobs, beautiful technology.

You will not fulfill your purpose, have significant meaning in your life, or become "successful" if you don't have or develop a passion.

Start there, forget women or anyone else. Your value is not there. You're looking everywhere but where it is. It's already in you.

Dr_Lovemuchmore · 2023-02-01T14:17:20+00:00

“Being boring is a death Sentence”

90% of this sub is as cringe as the red pill itself, ffs, MOST people are not Indiana Jones dude, what is this “boring” thing about?

thrownawaytodaysr · 2023-02-01T02:14:32+00:00

What are your hobbies?

oneofamike · 2023-02-01T05:35:42+00:00

You can become an interesting guy if you can teach a woman how to improve her life. Maybe teach her how to make more money. Teach her how to be more social.

Take me for example. I run an IG account with pictures of girls in bikini and it has a large following. That puts me in a position where women are sliding into my DMs and asking me to promote them. I’ve even done photo shoots so it gives me more access to women to date.

JonF1 · 2023-02-01T14:55:43+00:00

Stop trying to be things to people unless you need it for a job.

Too many guys are putting nearly all of their self worth and free time into getting into a relationship. This is needy. These guys just need to find better ways to occupy their time.

Title	So, how does a guy supposed to get confidence and be interesting to women?
Author	Pomeranian111
Upvotes	8
Comments	17
Date	February 1, 2023 12:27 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/10qfdrw/so_how_does_a_guy_supposed_to_get_confidence_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/so-how-does-a-guy-supposed-to-get-confidence-and.1150502 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150502

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