Plates dad died

JakarrSlamson · 2017-10-02T20:29:22+00:00

Alot of people on here are assholes. You should offer to help if she needs anything. If you want to go above and beyond, bring her a casserole or flowers or something. Would reccomend leaving her with family for the interim. Don't treat her like nothing though simply because she's a plate. Treat her like a human being and a friend, how you would want to be treated. It doesn't matter if she wouldn't do the same for you. Be the best person you can be.

NexusReflexX · 2017-10-02T20:59:55+00:00

Be her rock. You didnt enter her frame by saying what you said.

Ive never dealt with this before, but just be a fucking human man. Show some compassion, but dont drown her. Personally, it seems like you guys are starting to get into ltr status, as if u were just a fucktoy to her she probably wouldbt tell you. Shes emptionally invested in you, and she just lost potebtially the most important man in her life (assuming a standard upbringing non-abusive father).

Just be there for her.

If it were me, id tell her basically the same thing and keep in touch with her periodjcally, saying youre there if she needs anything.

I would offer to take her out for a drive. Ride around amd just let her cry and be her rock. Dont offer advice, just be strong and show compassion.

redlurker9 · 2017-10-02T20:36:49+00:00

Either comfort her or leave her be for a while. Show some decency.

supersonic-turtle · 2017-10-02T20:49:46+00:00

Just be nice man, if she needs anything do it. She's your friend right? What would you do if your best bros dad died?

_pragmatic_ · 2017-10-02T22:31:55+00:00

TRP is a human behavioural model to understand sexuality, sexual selection, and to a certain extent is an interpretive lense on interpersonal relations.

From time to time, it might sound mechanistic but that is an incorrect understanding. It is a model of human behaviour.

Right now, she's a distraught daughter who has lost her father. Be a strong man and offer her your kindness, support, and care. She may require assistance in simple day to day tasks such as meal preparation or transport. It is likely she will be confused about her emotions and may need periods of solitude, periods of companionship, and periods of distraction (eg quietly watching a movie).

To experience your own emotions or to provide emotional support to others is not "breaking frame". It will in fact help you to understand the depth and complexity that the male frame can achieve during challenging and crisis situations.

Be there. Be supportive. Offer strength. As you would to any friend.

apollosapien · 2017-10-02T21:13:41+00:00

This thread confirms that a lot of TRP frequenters are weird.

SpinPlates · 2017-10-02T20:57:02+00:00

Be a good person. Ask her if she needs anything. Help her as much as you can.

BestSC86 · 2017-10-02T21:34:53+00:00

How old are you?

Going to give you some grown up advice.....

Put away your damn penis.

And think this point out completely, when your time comes to die the last damn thing you will be thinking about was the number of vaginas you stuck your little wee-wee into when you were a idiot youngster.

The moments which will flash before your mind will be how you actually treated people in their most difficult times, when they needed you most, and when you could have provided the most value. All of this along with the joy you got from interacting with other people.

There is no Redpill way to react, there is only the principled human way to react.

AstuteBlackMan · 2017-10-02T21:44:07+00:00

Men are suppose to make women feel comfortable to a certain extent. Especially when it's about death. I see no need in being an asshole.

If you are one she'll leave you and tell all her friends what you did. And it won't turn the other friends on in a way that's attractive.

Being nice for a month or more while she's dealing is cool. Just don't let her shake you from your goals and life.

And don't force sex if she doesn't want it for a couple weeks.

Zanford · 2017-10-03T01:58:37+00:00

No, don't ghost for a few weeks over this! Geez. It's an opportunity. Be comforting. Be normal. Don't make neggy jokes about it.

You only really need to employ TRP-specific philosophy here if you get the vibe she's using it as a bartering chip. "Can I move in with you? This is just a hard time for me..." etc. In that case don't act emotionally affected by her use of the chip but don't bluntly call her out, just stay cool and say stuff like "It's a very emotional time for making big decisions" and change the subject.

Otherwise, this is solid comfort zone/game stuff and one of the times it's OK to actually be, well not blue pill, but to follow generic protector-male instincts. Be someone she can talk to about her emotions. Just don't get emotional yourself. "Be her rock." Cliche but apt here.

Bloody_Rayne · 2017-10-02T20:41:03+00:00

Sometimes I hate TRP. People would fuck the brains out and nothing else even if her father just died.

You are going to hell in a handbasket, damn cowards

stillah · 2017-10-03T02:06:39+00:00

let her talk and cry on your chest. tell her everything's going to be alright. don't get emotional. you're comforting her just by being there.

BigMattyMcDaddy · 2017-10-03T04:38:47+00:00

I'm going to give you some perspective on going too far. My ex's dad died and she broke down. I gave her all my attention, started doing everything for her and let her get away with not going to work. Eventually as time passed and I kept this up, she fell into a perpetual state of sadness because subconsciously she knew that's how to get my attention and validation. That was the swaying factor that led to the downfall of our relationship.

My advice is to be human, strong and kind to her now. Afterwards verbalize that you're giving her space and time to be with her family and tell her to reach out to you when she's feeling better. That way she won't associate you with her sadness.

tinykittenblep · 2017-10-03T01:16:10+00:00

A lot of good advice in here... honestly, depending on the kind of person she is, don't push for sex for a bit. You don't have to spend money or take her on dates or buy flowers for her or any things like that. If you do buy flowers, coordinate with someone involved in the process and contribute towards something for the memorial. But seriously, go for a drive somewhere, bring some fruit and snacks, and just chill. You don't need to talk. Maybe there will be talking, maybe there won't be and maybe it will just be pure silence. Go to a lake, go to a river, go for a walk.

Any physical contact should be just soothing stuff at this point. Learn how to give a good massage. She's most likely in "I want to run away from the world and forget everything exists" moment. This is one of those moments where her mind will be completely elsewhere, where she's extremely vulnerable, and where she's just looking for an anchor/rock.

With things like deaths, funeral planning and an overwhelming outpouring of people who "wanna talk" and burden you with their own bullshit. Think like every person selfishly turning you in to an emotional tampon while you're already saturated with your own emotions, and then sprinkle in some toxic assholes who already try to start laying claim to things, and behaving like immature idiots. It is exhausting.

If she talks, she talks. Take it at face value, don't take it in. Just listen. It is totally possible to maintain frame and not become an emotional tampon by just removing yourself mentally from it. You don't even need to try and relate to her, either. Just keep flipping it to something positive, good memories about her dad.

Kommanderdude · 2017-10-03T13:26:02+00:00

Let one of her orbiters Comfort her and fuck other bitches. You don’t owe her anything.

Jk. Be a rock and be stoic for her if she is someone you actually care about.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-10-03T04:52:06+00:00

Offer some comfort. Be there for her if you havr that type of relationship with her.

"Be careful in your fight against monsters that you do not become one yourself in the process", by that I mean don't become a true heartless jackass just becayse you want to maintain sex. You lose part of yourself and your humanity.

yallapapi · 2017-10-03T07:35:06+00:00

So.. the problem here is that you are going to get sucked in for being there for her. For sure sucks that her dad died. But a natural byproduct of being nice and gooey is developing feelings. On the flip side it's hard to distance yourself after something so terrible.

This is similar to when a SO has a disfiguring accident but you're not particularly invested in the relationship. No easy answer.

clint_bronson · 2017-10-03T11:46:05+00:00

Next time you're with her, pretend you're having a heart attack, but do really try to pull it off, then go like "haha got you!" You can really push it further and go like "just kidding, who do you think i am? your dad?" Or, the ultimate, "was this how your dad went?"

Anyway, hope this helps.

vandaalen · 2017-10-02T19:43:48+00:00

How many other "plates" are you currently fucking?

mrpoopistan · 2017-10-03T00:46:42+00:00

Comfort her, and be prepared for "validation of life" sex.

You're in for a treat.

JeffreyDoe · 2017-10-02T20:15:27+00:00

are you dating Tom Petty's daughter?

AlphaGrad · 2017-10-02T20:21:29+00:00

So the platter broke?

zndas92 · 2017-10-02T21:23:23+00:00

You can be here daddy now this is a good thing

ScottDurden · 2017-10-02T19:37:49+00:00

It doesn't matter she's just a plate. People die all the time.

TRPAndNofapGotMeLaid · 2017-10-02T21:00:04+00:00

How old was her dad?

askmrcia · 2017-10-02T19:20:59+00:00

You think she would care if your dad or someone died?

Let me help you out...... nooooope

Title	Plates dad died
Author	umphlove189
Upvotes	22
Comments	55
Date	October 2, 2017 7:02 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/73uvug/plates_dad_died/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/plates-dad-died.115435 https://theredarchive.com/post/115435

Comments