Him: “You’re my priority. I love you and want to be with you today and the next.”

Me: “If this is how you treat people who are your priority, then maybe we want different things.”

Him: “You’re really selfish, huh. Do as you like. Bye bye.”

I didn’t even open the messages in app. I blocked. Deleted. This whole saga is finally over. I deleted all photos of him and us a week ago. I was so indifferent, so over it. I wasn’t expecting him to lowball like that. I could feel my face flush and my tears well up. I could feel that split second regret, wanting to take it back—just because I didn’t want someone to think poorly of me. That part quickly passed though. I’m just so relieved now, like I’ve escaped this weight I didn’t know he had created in my life.

I can’t believe he would call me a name like that (above translated from japanese). I can’t recall any insults from our entire year together. But maybe the mansplaining was just a constant stream of subtle negging. Maybe I didn’t recognize other things because we didn’t speak in my native language. I don’t know. I thought it was a beautiful relationship, and just that it had run its course. It wasn’t enough for me. But now there’s a sour taste in my mouth. He had to make me feel something, if not love then hurt. I’m honestly in a bit of disbelief. I’ve had nothing but kind breakups. I don’t stay friends with my exes, but we part amicably and with wishes for each other’s happiness and wellbeing.

Luckily we have no mutual friends or any other thing that connects us. I’m sad, in a way that something ending is always sad, but blocking is the best form of self care I could be doing. Not waiting on an apology or a take-back (he would always delete messages he wrote in anger and then would rewrite kinder responses).

I wasn’t prepared for the shock of an insult. I hate how he’s affecting me like this. If anyone has any advice I’m all ears. The only thing I can think of is that yeah, of course I’m “selfish” about how I’m treated. Of course I’m “selfish” in choosing my partners.

Thank you for this beautiful community. It took me forty days from joining, believing him to be HVM to cutting it off for good.