Why would a girl be interested in me?

neoexileee · 2022-06-28T14:04:01+00:00

They should do a study on how many long term relationships result from dating apps.

xvszero · 2022-06-28T23:47:13+00:00

Tinder has about 4 men for every 1 woman. It's not reflective of how the real world works, where that ratio is roughly 1:1. Nothing that happens on Tinder is reflective of much outside of Tinder.

Does make it tough for shy people though, because online dating is the "easy" answer to dealing with the anxiety over introversion. But if you want to find a better ratio than 4 men for every 1 woman, you need to get out to places where the ratio is better, which is usually not going to be dating apps.

honey-bundy-88 · 2022-06-28T14:10:23+00:00

You’re thinking about this in the most basic of terms, which I don’t blame you for as RP theories are based on strategy and maximizing your odds. There’s this common belief among guys that women are always being approached by the “best of the best”, when in reality a lot of the attention they get is not positive (think cat-calls and sexual harassment). They would have you believe that even the most unattractive woman is getting flown around the world and proposed to by 100 guys on a nightly basis, but that’s not the case. It’s easier for women to get attention sure, your little tinder experiment only solidified that in your mind. But what TRP fails to acknowledge is what happens after getting a match. Like how quickly conversations can turn sexual, or how many guys will say they “aren’t looking for anything serious” and just want to “see how things go”. It’s about quality over quantity. It’s nobody’s fault that mens standards are so low that they swipe right on any and everybody. But as a woman in the dating world, it’s less like gorging yourself at a buffet and more like a navigating a minefield. Looks, money, and an outgoing personality are nice, but they’re not what sustains a relationship. But neither does being shy and self deprecating. There’s an intrinsic value in you that the right person will appreciate and see as irreplaceable, but you have to believe that women are capable of seeing it. Women are not a monolith, we’re not so superficial that we’d gladly drop a loving, fulfilling relationship for an “upgrade” in status and looks. Having options doesn’t guarantee you’ll get what you want. It only makes it harder to find the real thing.

Sudden-Freedom3737 · 2022-06-28T23:08:51+00:00

Dating sites do not reflect real human attraction and dynamics. Success on apps does not indicate if someone, man or woman, is a good mate.

Women are people too, with their own problems and insecurities just like us. Sure they may have a much easier time on apps, but that does not mean they will find quality matches, feel safe, not be used/abused, etc.

I would recommend not using apps and social media, as they tend to reinforce negative thought patterns or validate RP ideas. When you live presently and mindfully, your outlook on life can improve significantly

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-06-28T14:18:25+00:00

Online dating apps are not representative of life, only a minority of women use them and they're flooded with requests. A better test is to go out and see what kind of people are in relationships, either by observing couples in real life scenarios or by checking statistics. All kinds of men, with very different levels of attractiveness, do find girlfriends or wives.

And I post as a woman in several of those pills groups, and most women are respectful of men posting, unless they word their posts in a very misogynistic way, which is sadly often the case.

GoodSilhouette · 2022-06-28T15:26:47+00:00

I'm not trying to be mean but I don't understand why some people turn to RP or blackpill mentalities even when they seem to know its a personal issue and not "female nature" bullshit as preached by rp.

WHY would a girl chose you? You listed all your negatives, list some positives! What are some things you like about yourself or want to improve or explore? What are some negative things you could work on?

Shy people in general are going to have a harder time getting selected, that's not the alpha-beta shit its because you aren't attracting attention . When I was shyer I got no attention or play. I'm still shy and still have anxiety but I developed a habit of getting out my comfort zone and it made me more confident (not just in romantic shit but life in general!)

In this case OP you seem to have some low self-esteem, you don't have to change being introverted but it really about putting yourself out there and getting out your comfort zone.

peeingclitoris · 2022-06-29T01:11:21+00:00

To be fair most men on dating apps seem to swipe on everyone with minimal effort, like casting a wide net. I know this is a generalization but I've experienced this a lot where men have clearly zero interest in getting to know me as a person & the conversation never happens. Most matches were a few lines of text before both of us gave up. Tinder sells the idea of easy hookups but really no one ends up connecting and you are much better off going to a bar or a poetry reading or something than wasting hours swiping.

thepowerelite · 2022-06-29T03:49:09+00:00

Is it a coincidence males have higher rates of homelessness and suicide? Or is it by design? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Male_expendability

Pomeranian111 · 2022-06-28T14:00:44+00:00

Dating apps are a waste of time. Never will go on one for your exact same dilemma.

Its extremely shallow, any woman who uses Tinder as their main dating technique is probably very shallow, and looking for a hookup with a very attractive man.

Why else would they go on a platform that gets random dickpicks and they are swarmed by men?

Meeting people in real life is a better strategy, to bad I live in a small town of 2,000 people 😅

But I firmly believe that's the best way for average or below looking men.

MelodiousTones · 2022-06-28T23:09:25+00:00

Options for what? These men are not attracted to her or interested in her. They want to sleep with her and walk away, and they will have no problem treating her like dirt in the process. This is not an “option”. It’s not flattering even, because it’s not real desire.

Meat_Vegetable · 2022-06-28T14:19:32+00:00

Want to see the woman version of Redpill, go look at r/femaledatingstrategy

Also being ugly is whatever dude, get off dating sites and be a person, not another number that send a message. Dating sites are designed to be awful on purpose.

Edit: I derped hard

MaxRalfN · 2022-06-28T20:19:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

MarkDavisIn · 2022-06-29T19:09:32+00:00

Don’t give up. Do not focus on appearances

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-06-30T09:17:20+00:00

Most of those men who matched on your experiment will be looking to use the woman for casual sex. The average woman is NOT down for this (no matter what TRP will tell you)

incredulitor · 2022-07-01T02:11:12+00:00

It's hard to put my finger on, but it seems like something might be a bit circular about this. You're describing yourself as not hateful or entitled. That piece makes sense and I'm glad you find yourself there. The next thought is about a string of negative descriptions about yourself and how those would relate to someone not choosing you, an experiment that apparently confirms that, and then another cycle of the reasons that this hypothetical other person would have to choose someone who's not you. Is the issue really that you're not sure a woman would have any reason to be interested in you, or is that a manifestation of the issue?

Title	Why would a girl be interested in me?
Author	MaxRalfN
Upvotes	26
Comments	52
Date	June 28, 2022 1:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/vmnjet/why_would_a_girl_be_interested_in_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/why-would-a-girl-be-interested-in-me.1209493 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209493

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