Today she dropped the word divorce…how to protect?

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-05-30T05:06:06+00:00

You can protect anything you can prove that you owned prior to date of your marriage, and you have never commingled with marital assets.

Everything else is up for grabs, and trying to hide it can result in unfavorable outcomes

DatabaseSpace · 2023-05-30T11:21:17+00:00

The only good thing you have going financially as far as divorce goes is you have only been married 5 years. If you were at or near 10 years you could end up supporting her for life.

I have to say I am totally shocked at the number of women with small children filing for divorce just because “I’m not in love anymore”. Family law needs to change.

Classic_Dill · 2023-05-30T11:19:08+00:00

When a woman shuts down sacks, it’s got to give you a clear message that there’s a monster red flag flying high! I’m not going to say how she got in this way or why she got in this way, because I don’t know your backstory, but keep in mind is a possibility that she could’ve been cheating as well? The thoughts of cheating can definitely be blamed on your spouse, especially if they don’t want to have sex with you for basically two years, however, the physical act or emotional act of an affair is all on you! Did you guys ever sit down and have a very deep talk about your intimacy issues? Because in a personal level, I will not be married to somebody who doesn’t enjoy or care about sex, what’s the point? Dead bedroom relationships are a joke! And people who think they’re OK and they can still have a healthy relationship or wrong, if you have a physical disability, I can definitely understand it, and you can definitely work with it, But dead bedroom relationships? All that is is excepting the horrible life that you’re living and trying to call it good. You may have got out of this thing lucky by getting divorced, you also have the legal right to go to your joint bank account and take half of the money now, however, if they bring it up in court, it may go against you? But it is legal at least state by state. She’s going to probably get nasty towards the end of the divorce so you need to defend yourself the best you can. Again, maybe this is your fault? We would need more Intel.

AristotleRose · 2023-05-30T18:25:08+00:00

Calm your cheetos first of all. Do you want a divorce? Because most of the advice here will guarantee you one. Your partner is unhappy, you are unhappy, your kids for sure feel it.

With the exception of a huge betrayal usually everything is 100% recoverable. You can get intimacy or you can get a divorce, it will all matter where you put that effort into. Are you going to work hard to get your marriage back to being lovely or are you going to work hard to get divorced?

Sex 3 times in two years? I would go insane. Sex with one another is how married couples reach out and “reset” and keep one another close in both body and heart. Are you cheating more than you’re telling us? Is she? Are you ignoring her when you get home? Is she already in pajamas when you get home?

Marriage counseling or lawyers, pay for one. Depends on what outcome you really want.

Reflog1791 · 2023-05-30T05:55:58+00:00

That sucks dude sorry. Get an initial consultation with an attorney in your area and he’ll give you the bad news.

Some would say get ready to move to a third world country.

Others would say get ready for the war of the century.

I would say figure out a way to get out of this with no debt (easy to go into debt on legal fees and family court drama) and plenty of cash flow.

In like 18 months your divorce agreement is going to say something like she keeps the primary residence, she has primary custody on some schedule, you pay child support, maybe alimony (hopefully not), etc.

The stuff being in your name is going to be irrelevant if it was bought during the marriage.

They shouldn’t stick you with half her student loans.

Divorce is a bad time to be making 3-4x your spouse. But the lawyers will tell you you’re lucky she even has a job at all.

Kind of sucks, not much you can do now except get a damn lawyer and don’t be afraid to file for divorce if it is imminent.

It’s all temporary and you’ll get to live a great life with your children one way or another.

divorcesucks1234 · 2023-05-30T06:43:05+00:00

Okay so couple of things

Try setting up a date night with her. Try watering the lawn of love by killing her with kindness. Try to go to marital counseling.

Protect yourself. Don’t move out the marital home. Remember to be overtly kind in every text message because soon your lawyers and the judge will see it. Find the best lawyer in town before she does.

ww3historian · 2023-05-30T05:50:19+00:00

Why would you stay in a “marriage” where you have ask 3 times in 2 years?

heartless_monk · 2023-05-30T10:18:31+00:00

Do you specifically, actually want a divorce? Why exactly, have y’all only been intimate 3 times within a 2 year span? Would more intimacy perhaps make the both of you happier together? These are all questions I would run though.

I think lack of intimacy is a very fixable thing.

Anyways.. as far as the divorce,

Unless she’s willing to go “no contest”, expect to lose about half of everything man..

I’d vouch for the two of you to attempt mediation, which will usually work out best in the end, as you’d probably lose much less, and have a great share of child custody.

pk2at · 2023-05-30T17:38:45+00:00

Depends on how smart you are. Do you live in a state that allows legal separation and can you get her to sign twice on a legal separation form? If yes, then boom, you get to keep all assets in your name. Are you smart enough to hide assets or use offshore trusts? If yes, then you get to keep what you hide or what you have protected. However unless you have some experience in asset protection, you won't be able to get the 'skills' on short notice, easier option is to cash out and simply not disclose.

The dumbest options is to list all your assets and expect the court to be 'fair'

pk2at · 2023-05-30T17:48:46+00:00

Irrespective of what people on this forum tell you, assets being in your name and your control make a HUGE difference if you can get her two signatures on a legal separation form, or are able to move those assets out of state/country

soundbarrier47 · 2023-05-30T18:32:23+00:00

What state do ya’ll reside in?

My brother, no no no! You wish her no ill will, while that is very kind and generous, trust me and others on here will agree. In the back of her mind, she is thinking about crushing you. To quote the Karate Kid movie, “NO MERCY.”

captainchippsixx · 2023-05-30T23:03:55+00:00

Don’t be a doormat beggar/ She will continue to want a divorce the way your acting.

Tell her fine. Im unhappy, no sex. Ii didn’t sign up for marrying a roommate that doest love me. You would be surprised once you act like a man (she will say your a dick) that she starts to respect you. Right now she has your balls and does not respect you.

By the way, when you don’t get sex… your wife is getting somewhere. Not 100%. But a good chance.

Title	Today she dropped the word divorce…how to protect?
Author	wineraq
Upvotes	9
Comments	27
Date	May 30, 2023 4:42 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13vgppw/today_she_dropped_the_word_divorcehow_to_protect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/today-she-dropped-the-word-divorcehow-to-protect.1220723 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220723

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