Control is a helluva drug

Adventurous_Tie_4464 · 2023-06-01T22:17:20+00:00

Just grey rock, walk away, and enjoy time with your kids. Don’t engage with any verbal nonsense. Just focus on the kids and go get some ice cream after the recital.

Gattsama · 2023-06-01T23:43:16+00:00

In my case no kids, but super control and micromanagement issues. To the point that when she asked me to leave I was 'packing my clothes wrong' and she was telling me 'which luggage to use and how to fold the clothes'???

They only have the control we give then, and I had been giving her / giving up way to much for way to long.

SuperConfused40 · 2023-06-02T02:44:34+00:00

It will get worse as she becomes more angry.

:::laughs hysterically from experience:::

ABBucsfan · 2023-06-02T01:57:15+00:00

A few weeks ago my ex tells me she's booked the first six weeks of summer, this is when she will leave and be back.. uhh that's not what we discussed.. I was just about to book a trip first week of August... She points to some obscure incoherent thing written in the notes of our last meeting that isn't signed and formalized... Even though right under summer it says one month each and have two weeks to say yes or no and should be reasonable. So yeah she's screwed me because now I can't take my trip.. co-worker has other weeks off.. to make matters worse despite knowing my answer she waits til I get my kids and makes a scene with the kids and bf there trying to get me to sign travel letter. Boyfriend was prob told you better back me up and made some stupid comment. So pissed my head was rushing and I felt sick. I had to just insist my kids hurry so we could go. The kicker is we had the exact same conversation last year and blamed me for costs going up cause I 'wouldnt answer, (told her for weeks one month is plenty). And yes in case you're wondering she doesn't work lol. Rich family pays for it. I was like why would it be different than last year? Yi think I'm gonna be happy gettimg like 2 weeks at the end of summer?

cousinmarygross · 2023-06-01T22:26:03+00:00

You will come to find that when you ignore her it drives her bat shit crazy. It's predictable. You get to the point eventually where it's even entertaining.

wisstinks4 · 2023-06-01T23:42:08+00:00

If it weren’t for your daughter, you would cut her out of your life completely. Only communicate when it comes to the kids. I’d like the idea of gray rock, do the 180, go no contact that way you lead the situation. Completely ignoring her and any activity related to her. She doesn’t matter now.

Classic_Dill · 2023-06-02T11:26:51+00:00

High anxiety usually manifests itself in micromanaging an entire life because you’re so afraid of what the future holds. If she’s always been that way? The funny thing is through her anxiety she kept trying to control everything so she thought she could control her world and all she ended up doing was ruining her marriage, she had the opposite effect.

Artistic-Trifle-555 · 2023-06-02T18:59:14+00:00

It's been some years, my kids are adults now, but this rings a bell. My ex told our kids that she was going to take them to visit family 6 hours drive for Christmas vacation, play w cousins, blah, blah, blah, even though holiday was mine. Then I had to be bad guy to say "No", agreement says this. She called cops when I was at her house to pick them up. Imagine that great scene at Christmas time. She did this several times, basically setting something up for kids during my scheduled time without clearing it w me first. F* her

Title	Control is a helluva drug
Author	Massive_Concern1843
Upvotes	33
Comments	16
Date	June 1, 2023 9:35 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13xu3d8/control_is_a_helluva_drug/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/control-is-a-helluva-drug.1220992 https://theredarchive.com/post/1220992

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