To Move Out or Not Move Out

AlohaMaui808 · 2023-06-08T03:32:13+00:00

I had success with starting to record on video, then going and standing in the way of whatever she's trying to wreck.

"I'm just trying to prevent things from being broken and wasted"

Never lay a hand (or finger) on anyone

businessstravel · 2023-06-08T01:46:44+00:00

Step 1: Hire a lawyer.

Step 2: Listen to said lawyers advice.

Step 3: Sidebar + Lift = Profit

Tyred_Biggums · 2023-06-08T02:04:55+00:00

Get lawyer, use a credit card, declare bankruptcy, restart.

Do lawyer consult, learn enough law to file yourself, probably get screwed, restart

Hire lawyer, go into debt, don’t declare bankruptcy, restart

Don’t do anything, get arrested for DV, hire lawyer, spend some time in jail, get divorced anyways, restart

You’re a retard for sure, but you don’t have to stay retarded.

J-VV-R · 2023-06-08T01:53:09+00:00

Only an absolute fucking retard leaves the marital/common-law home without consulting a lawyer...

Edit: To the cheeky bastard who sent me a DM asking; 'Why not just leave the house if you are common-law with no kids?', should probably review your state laws around common-law to see what happens if you just leave...

Ragnardanneskjunior · 2023-06-08T06:09:53+00:00

Move out to the Wyoming outback and become a fire fighter, buy a motorcycle, and forget all this noise. You have 30 days, we will find you.

UEMcGill · 2023-06-08T13:18:31+00:00

I've read through a few of your comments and your main question. Here's what you don't realize. You have power.

If she wants to go to a shelter, fucking A let her go. Not for nothing she'll be back in an hour after leaving your cushy nice apartment. You are constantly helping her and keeping her safe from moving on.

First step, read and internalize When I Say No I Feel Guilty. She has behaviors that try to force you to take responsibility for her feelings. And you do. She wants sushi? Why is that? To make you pay for her feelings. When you don't, she punishes you by throwing out your food. This is a boundary that you should have a response to, but you don't.

Long term, the stay plan is always the same as the go plan. Working out? Good. How are house finances? Are you on a plan to improve that?

A Redpill man embraces abundance. He also has an idea of what all his options are and instead of running from fear, embraces it. What's the worst that could happen? She divorces you? So go see a lawyer. Consults are free. Go see how much it would cost you. What your risks are for divorce. Most men don't realize that instead of paying 30% in alimony and child support that they are getting a 50% raise by getting divorced.

The next time she threatens to go to a shelter, give her the divorce papers. Let her know, "I won't fight you. You can have a divorce anytime. But if you do go to the shelter, I'll assume you want a divorce" Watch how fast she gets her shit together.

As an aside, you should always have your phone handy. She's shown she's crazy and will call the cops. Document these interactions so when you do go to court, shit is clear about who said what.

muzzy_W0e · 2023-06-08T04:44:18+00:00

Without hiding behind the kids and religion, why are you still married to someone like that?

sicrm · 2023-06-08T01:38:46+00:00

book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) and start working on an exit plan.

and in the future, you should always have plans for different scenarios.

Kevlar__Soul · 2023-06-08T15:53:47+00:00

Speak to a lawyer asap and do exactly what they say. If she is using the safety/happiness of your kids as leverage that is immediate cause for divorce. Don’t listen to legal advice from people online, it’s important to follow your lawyers instruction even if it doesn’t fall in line with RP. You can’t out alpha the government so in a divorce it’s actually in your best interest to come off as beta.

Read the side bar (focus on divorce material) and lifting. Start putting aside money for when you leave. Honestly sounds like a shit show that needs to end immediately. Follows lawyers advice and get out with as little damage as possible.

academicRedditor · 2023-06-08T08:37:12+00:00

Feeling sorry for your twins, man 😔

james-the-professor · 2023-06-09T02:03:40+00:00

You, sir, are being abused.

Bitr0t · 2023-06-10T12:55:53+00:00

As others have already stated. You need to keep your phone ready to record and document these interactions with her when she flies off the handle. Consult with a marital lawyer in your area and inform yourself of what rights you have. Divorce is not the end of the world. You've only been married a short time and If your income is what you claim, then there's only but so much she can get out of you. If you're bad with money, get good. You should be doing activities, hobbies (running, working out, etc.) outside of the house and away from her.

adeptintact · 2023-06-11T05:21:15+00:00

Her calling the cops on you is ridiculous. My ex-wife did that. Get divorced.

dolanthesemicolon · 2023-06-11T11:52:40+00:00

I'm a bit late to the party, but I'm just back from a big ass cycle and feel like sitting down and typing some shit today. So here goes.

Firstly, everyone else has dealt with the huge fat 48 foot elephant in the room. The right course of action is to get the fuck out of this marriage. I'm not sure what sort of order of events you need to do it in your country, but in mine you can file for separation first, which means you're not fucked when you walk out the door. Then serve her the divorce papers. But maybe it's differet there.

Anyway, that aside, let's pretend this marriage isn't doomed for failure for a second. The only thing that stuck out like a sore thumb to me that I'm a little surprised noone as picked up on...

I've recently ceased this behavior and my wife is having none of it. In the past when she acted up I would move out and live on the streets, and after I purchased a vehicle I lived in that. After apologizing and being a bitch and begging for her to let me back in, our dynamic is a pretty fucked one.

And

It's been almost 2 weeks since i came across this sub, and I've only recently begun to apply RP principles to my life.

So, you've picked up RP like a couple of weeks ago and turned on the the RP principles pretty much overnight. Jesus wept. I'm not a fan of the term STFU, but it absolutly applies to you. In almost every case people are told to STFU and lift for a reason. You don't know shit yet. There's a lot of stuff you need to learn and figure out. The advice to most people like you is slow the fuck down. Keep the blue pill status quo, but just add 2 things - STFU, and Lift. Later, MRP also advises removing the STFU component and replacing it with something new, but that's not relevant today.

Today she was getting pissy with me, complaining about how emotional I always behaved throughout our marriage and how much of a bitch I am (my words for the most part). I let her talk and talk and she got more and more upset. I went to lift, got done with that and she tells me how now I have go buy her sushi to make up for her being upset since I seemed to be ignoring her.
I said that I refuse to allow her to punish me by requesting that I spend money on her. My answer is no. This came as a shock to her and she promptly went into the fridge and threw away the meat I cook for myself to keep my protein up. All while raging the entire time.

Look, I know the advice here is going to end up being the same. Divorce this bitch, but let's just humor this for a second. If you were like, 6 months into this journey, then you probably still didn't handle this well. In your case, after being 2 weeks into MRP (2 fucking weeks man! you're a toddler to this shit) I'd have remained blue pill and I'd have bought her the fucking sushi. You need to keep that blue pill active. Think of it as a dial that goes to 10. Turn it one notch at a time. Not 3 or 4. Internalise the side bar. Then turn it to 2. I'd literally be turning that dial just 1 month at a time. Next month, once you've added 2 more hobbies or shit to your life, turn the dial to 2.

Now, with all that said, you can throw that advice out the window if you like, because I agree with the others, she sounds more like divorce material than marriage material. But I'd handle the leadup slightly differently that some others are advising. I'd go back to keep the peace mode, but continue getting legal support. And I'd nuke this behaviour too:

Update: I've reached out to several lawyers in order to schedule a call. She actually ended up breaking down hearing that I've done that...

Why did you tell her shit? Stop poking the hornets nest. Have your call. Stay mr beta blue pill Get your papers in line. Then make your move.

vithus_inbau · 2023-06-16T09:31:34+00:00

Why is it the blokes who marry older women by many years end up with fucked marriages by the time the female is thirty+? You see it over and over again...

captainkeyes_99 · 2023-06-08T05:12:25+00:00

I would move out ngl. You shouldn't accept that kind of behaviour. I hope there's a good reason for you allowing her to treat you as an absolute doormat. Sidebar isn't going to help you, neither is lifting. Divorce is recommended. Alternative option: your kids are very young, it's just stress edition. 'You genuinely love her edition'. Leave the house for a week. Artificially create a huge argument if necessary. Fuck other women. Party. Gym 3x a week. Read the sidebar. Reset. Hot/cold. It's important that you play it as if you're really mad. But at the end of the week start opening up and coming bsck again. After the week she'll be gagging for it. Play it cool. Say you miss her but need more time but will still help with bills etc. Don't tell her where you're going at any time just say you need space.

Title	To Move Out or Not Move Out
Author	frekinsweet
Upvotes	8
Comments	45
Date	June 8, 2023 1:23 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/143va10/to_move_out_or_not_move_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/to-move-out-or-not-move-out.1221605 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221605

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