If you are unsuccessful with women, it is 100% your fault. You are not a victim. Being attractive is not a static or predetermined quality

Pornography, Hollywood, and other forms of media have deluded men into false perceptions of women think and how attraction works.

Porn is a falsified, artificially constructed representation of human sexuality, where attraction and arousal are instantaneous, easy and abundant without true effort.

On the other side, mainstream movies, i.e. romance porn, often portray unquestioned dedication as the ultimate way to woman’s heart. Unremarkable, piddling men will win a beautiful woman over through some grand act of devotion, reinforcing that idea that men can be mediocre and still attract beautiful women solely through sacrifice.

Logically, we understand that movies and porn are fictional, but without experience or baseline knowledge, these misrepresentations become reality if reinforced early on.

These contradictory messages that women are owed to us (porn) and that they must be earned (mainstream media) have fucked up many men’s expectations and ability to handle rejection.

Men who are inundated in this mindset and who have experienced a series of rejections from women, begin to view women as a monolithic group that have rejected them in totality, who are looking down them from a pedestal. Rather than understanding that romantic/sexual rejection is something that happens frequently and is not a source of shame.

Red pillers, incels, and PUAs, are born out this. They blame women for being superficial or unattainable, they use band aids and tactics, rather than taking complete accountability an working to become an inherently attractive, interesting person. Even PUAs who achieve superficial success crumble when they encounter rejection, because their identity is largely predicated on acceptance from women.

Our society worships at the altar of the Victim. It’s difficult to take complete ownership of your faults and failures, I certainly struggle with taking ownership at times.

This is not a pro-feminist post. This concept applies to both men and women. You and I completely responsible for our successes and failures, not anyone else.

Women are not owed to you, the same way your attraction owed to anyone else. Women did not have a secret global meeting and deem you unworthy. Everyone experiences rejection—those who imply that they don’t experience it are delusional or liars.

You are not victim. Your attractiveness or any other facet of your personality is not static. Your success solely depends on personal accountability and willingness to experience discomfort in order to grow.

Edit: ‘Fault’ should be replaced with ‘Responsibility’, but the same concept applies

Edit 2: This post got me permanently banned from the social skills sub 🤷🏻‍♂️ 🥂