Am I supposed to always have sex with my boyfriend whenever he wants to?

youllknowwhenitstime · 2023-07-29T00:28:49+00:00

> I should be in the mood more often

There's an odd idea floating around that everyone has to be "in the mood" when activities start, when in reality many people experience responsive sexual desire and the budding of arousal will start after stimulation does. There are even some people who only experience responsive sexual desire - they still typically enjoy sexual relationships.

If you're not "in the mood" already, but start engaging in foreplay anyway (gentle enough that it's not too much for your un-aroused state), what happens?

StunningSort3082 · 2023-07-28T17:21:56+00:00

Based on your post history, you’re on a medication that is notorious for destroying sex drives in both men and women. It also makes sex less enjoyable when you have it.

Have you spoken with you PCP about the possible side effects and alternative options?

freckled-peach · 2023-07-28T18:13:34+00:00

Check out the book “come as you are” by Emily Nagoski! My description won’t do it justice but It’s honestly fantastic. She explains how many women (and men) have different levels of libido but it’s honestly all normal. It discussed helpful ways to communicate with your partner, but also what may be influencing your sex drive.

Jenneapolis · 2023-07-28T18:00:35+00:00

There is no "supposed to." However if you want to be strategic about how to maintain a successful relationship, sex is important. Men value sex a lot and most women do not understand how critical this is to their feeling of well being in a relationship. Please read the chapter about this in "For Women Only." A man who regularly gets rejected from sex feels their overall self worth is negatively impacted because they believe they cannot inspire their woman to "want them." It's not about the physical need for a release, it's about their feeling of being wanted. And while I'm not a fan of encouraging people to read the MRP subs usually, married RP constantly has posts from men strategizing over how they can get their wives to quit rejecting them. It is something that really gives them angst more than many women understand.

Personally, my boyfriend gets sex (and the type he wants) whenever he wants it. The only times I will say no is if I am sick with the cold/flu or have another obligation (usually say "I can't honey I have to get on a work call but I can when I am done”). Any other time, I say yes. I don't need to be "in the mood." It's not like it's difficult to do physically or mentally for me. I can take 5 - 10 min for a quicky, make his whole day, and cement the bond we have. Why would I pass that up? It does me no harm to accommodate him and I reap all the benefits.

downtownbrunch · 2023-07-28T19:19:48+00:00

It’s more of a perspective issue. The chances of being “in the mood” 100% of the time your man is are not realistic. Men experience a consistent hormone cycle in a 24 hour period while we experience hormonal highs and lows over a 28 day (give or take) cycle. That alone will guarantee sexy times won’t always coordinate. Throw in stress, obligations, and anything else the modern world throws at our mental load, it’s more than normal to not always want to when he does.

Changing your perspective on what sex means, especially to men, means we can choose to engage in sex with our man when he wants it because we know what it means to him. To men, sex is love, connection, and all that good stuff. Men crave it and we control it. Sex is a great way to deepen the intimate bond with your man and further incentivize him to do his manly duties for you (provide and protect). So sometimes this means getting it done even when we’re not into it. If you know you’re rarely in the mood, imagine how constant rejection might affect your man. Would having sex when you’re not turned on lead to greater damage in the relationship than repeatedly telling your man you’re not attracted to him (in his mind)? This is how they interpret sexual rejection.

Only you know the answer to that question. It seems that you know sex is important. Talk to your partner and see if you two can come up with a frequency that would keep you both satisfied (keeping in mind this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re both guaranteed to be turned on at the same time).

CutieeeMay · 2023-07-28T17:37:59+00:00

Sexual chemistry is important between you both but you shouldn’t feel guilty for having mismatched sex drives. Could you ask if there are any ways you can meet his needs? Maybe not penetrative sex but other alternatives?

AutoModerator · 2023-07-28T16:57:46+00:00

Title: Am I supposed to always have sex with my boyfriend whenever he wants to?

Full text: My sex drive is not as high as his. It’s pretty low in comparison. We’ve been struggling with mismatched libido our whole relationship. We’re both in therapy. I’m starting to feel guilty like I should be in the mood more often. He has made it clear that his priority isn’t sex, that he loves me and wants to be with me regardless of how much sex we have. But I feel guilty like we should be doing it more, I should be wanting it more.

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krispiest_kurl · 2023-07-28T17:56:13+00:00

Try to identify your attitude to sex. What does having sex mean to you? What turns you off from the thought of sex?

Crew_Careless · 2023-08-02T01:13:18+00:00

You can up our sexdrive btw, did that with my gf.

Train, especially legs. Do some pelvic exercises and if you don't see your man use a vibrator every other day.
Cut out the carbs for a while (2 month) and try to eat mostly meat, fish and eggs. Embrace the animal fats.
Also drink pommegrade juice, eat some arucula and watermelon for the Nitric oxcide and and citrullin.

If you go carnivore for 2 month, don't forget to drink much more than before and also eat some pineapple to digest it better if you have problems.

She didn't trust me at first but it kicked it after 6 weeks for her and same for me.

angelicdre4mz · 2023-07-28T18:04:11+00:00

You should have sex when you and your boyfriend are both in the mood for it. If one is and the other isn’t then foreplay is the way to go! Figure out what gets you in the mood and utilize that (: If you’re not sure what gets you in the mood then make it a fun experiment to figure out what does! If you do decide to have sex then it should be pleasurable for you both! If you have hard time with it still, maybe a sexualchologist can help you both! English is not my first language so sorry if I mispronounced things. But I hope this helped!

AppropriateEbb5556 · 2023-07-28T21:16:58+00:00

You are obligated to inform your partner if he is not able to satisfy you. So if you feel like your sex drive is a result of him not doing something right, tell him:) You are supposed to enjoy sex. But I have no idea, maybe you do have a lower sex drive then him

Outrageous_Block3840 · 2023-07-29T14:23:08+00:00

He’s lying, maybe not fully but definitely to an extent. All men want sex and do care about it, he may be fine waiting but he won’t be forever. The answer to your question is yes, if he does things for you. If he doesn’t then you shouldn’t have to either but almost all men want sex, if not all, and he may feel upset deep down that he can’t with you. If you aren’t comfortable then don’t do it because that could lead to regret but if you are only uncomfortable because you are nervous then you should try to push past your anxiousness. Just my opinion.

BecomingABetterMan1 · 2023-07-28T17:43:46+00:00

I'm confused by this talk of "mismatched sex drives". It's fundamentally not a RP perspective.

LivelyLychee · 2023-07-28T17:50:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

-AlfredENeuma- · 2023-08-12T23:17:42+00:00

Question: why would a person seek out a life partner that suffers from meaningful depression?

Oralabotamy · 2023-08-13T18:12:07+00:00

Title	Am I supposed to always have sex with my boyfriend whenever he wants to?
Author	AquariusBear
Upvotes	57
Comments	54
Date	July 28, 2023 4:57 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/15c2wdm/am_i_supposed_to_always_have_sex_with_my/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/am-i-supposed-to-always-have-sex-with-my-boyfriend.1226769 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226769

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