Dating for POC

Fire_Tiger73 · 2023-09-16T18:11:06+00:00

I've seen the reverse - more often nonwhite girls go for white guys, and nonwhite guys are seen as "lesser" and thus it's harder for them to date out of their race.

BLKSKNHED · 2023-09-16T16:58:07+00:00

POC guys probably don't yearn to marry someone who will turn out like their parents. Traditionalism, corporal abuse, and hyper religious.(It's a grass is greener kinda thing). You can prefer JNRroberts opinion that men are brainwashed coomers if you want, i won't be mad.

CringeButCorrect · 2023-09-16T17:02:20+00:00

Brown guys do not prefer white girls. Statistics overwhelmingly show that brown guys go for brown girls at over an 80% rate. Tbh this is just cope.

The truth? Most men of any race prefer women who are fit. If you're 5'4", you should be 140lbs or less. For brown women at that height, the average is 180lbs and yet the men still go for them at over an 80% rate. If you are an in shape brown woman, you are actually in more demand from brown men than the equivalent white woman is from white men.

Brown women tend to have higher standards than other women. So when they think of "brown men" it's actually just the taller, richer, more successful dudes (athletes, actors, wealthy businessmen), not the regular brown dude who primarily dates brown women. These guys are less common, so seeing one dating a white woman has more of an impact on one's perception.

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ThorLives · 2023-09-16T17:40:55+00:00

One thing I think all the other commenters have missed is the fact that the Western Media likes black men a lot more than it likes black women. If you pay attention to commercials, TV shows, and movies, it's more likely to cast black men than black women in major roles. The media has elevated black men relative to black women. If you looked back at the media, say, 50+ years ago, it was white men and white women who were the "cool people" and the main characters in TV and movies. Despite anti-racism, the media has mostly changed it's view of who the "cool people" are to white men, white women, and black men. Black women are still being left out in the cold. And in many cases where it shows black women in a major role, she'll be light-skinned and mixed race - like Halle Berry.

When it comes to interracial relationships, they're FAR more likely to show black men with white women than black women with white men. Once I started to notice this, I wanted to make sure it wasn't just confirmation bias in my own head, so I once started counting how often I saw a commercial, TV show, or movie involving a black man + white woman romance versus a white man + black woman romance. The number I came up with was about 7 to 1 - i.e. the media is 7 times as likely to show or imply a romance between a black man and white woman than it was to show a white man with a black woman. This influences both black men and white women to consider the possibility of dating each other, while not doing the same for white men and black women. It's weird how Hollywood considers itself liberal while being so unequal in how it treats black women.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-09-16T17:50:37+00:00

That hasn't been my experience or any man of color I know experience as well, but the brown community maybe different. In my experience it's women of color who go hard for white men and lower their standards significantly compared to when they date men of color.

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2023-09-16T18:03:51+00:00

Stats say that it is non white women who desire white men. Non white men prefer women of their own race, very different from the dominant narrative being pushed. I suspect this is intentional, can't have women seeming to discriminate on race as the most important characteristic as the more noble sex.

stats135 · 2023-09-16T18:05:00+00:00

I remember reading a chart shared right here in PPD, but the basic premise is this: The only people that get fucked over are Asian men and Black women. Unsurprisingly the winners are the White man.

pop442 · 2023-09-16T18:16:54+00:00

I'm a Black man who's dated everyone before but my main preference is actually Latinas.

I also like Black and White women about equally, slightly favoring BW. And I'm not really into Asian girls except for Filipinas, Cambodians, and Blasians(like Jhene Aiko).

Overall, though, I'm not bound to my preferences at all. I'll date anyone who I feel compatible with.

I don't think MOC favor White girls as much as people say. There's more evidence of WOC being obsessed with White men than vice versa.

Tons of Black men I've known including myself favor Latinas over White women when it comes to IR dating. And I've also seen Hispanic men flirt with literally everyone under the Sun. East Asian men don't see particularly big on White women compared to vice versa either. And I mostly see Indian men with Indian women.

I find that WOC are usually the ones who project "White worship" unto MOC due to their own racial insecurities even though the majority of MOC date, marry, and have kids with their own women.

Even rich Black men statistically marry Black women the most. A lot of times, you have to take WOC's claims that MOC are "obsessed" with White women with a grain a salt because they often use that to justify their own obsession with White men.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-09-16T18:26:41+00:00

I know brown men across the spectrum, but very few of them exclusively date white women. They're more like you being open to dating all races or are only interested in dating other brown women.

Forsaken_Dragonfly66 · 2023-09-16T16:58:14+00:00

I'm an ambiguous looking mixed race Black woman and can speak to this.

In the Western world, European features will always be considered the standard of attractiveness for both men and women. Men of colour often specifically prioritize white women, but it's actually not uncommon for women of colour to do this as well.

It is my perception that white men are actually pretty open to dating women of any ethnicity (more than white women) if they're attractive, but at the end of the day, most people are MOST drawn to others from similar backgrounds as themselves. It's just the way it is. It doesn't mean they're racist, but it definitely makes dating a bit more complicated.

I am not a brown chick, but I have brown female friends who often state how highly brown men prioritize white women. Black men can be quite similar.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2023-09-16T17:05:41+00:00

I’m a black guy who dates everyone, my last gf was from Eastern Europe. I have a good amount of minority guy friends who date outside their race.

First of all, women are much more likely to date within their race than men are. I believe the only exception is Asian women who disproportionately date white guys.

I have a ridiculous number of black girls in my inbox, I can pick and choose the hottest ones. Also I have no qualms about picking between a black girl and a white/Latina/Arab/Asian woman, I don’t put them in different buckets and I don’t give any special consideration to black girls. The best girl wins so to speak. So it’s not that I prefer white girls, rather I have no preferences and my best option (personality, looks, education, etc etc) can easily be non-black since blacks are a minority.

I once checked my dating history and I’ve dated almost exactly proportional to the demographics of my city (white-washed liberal city), hence most of my dates were not black.

IronDBZ · 2023-09-16T16:42:35+00:00

I'm Black, dated a white woman, technically dated a black woman (one of those we're not dating cause I say we're not dating things), dated an East Asian woman.

You're going to have a harder time finding people because when you control for markers of success and money and opportunity, more women pursue conventionality while more men pursue novelty.

Being of the same background as a man does not necessarily make you more attractive to him. Depending on their prejudices, it might be help or hurt you, but if you don't want to date a bigot you'll just have to expand your horizons.

As a man, my issues come more from women only wanting to date people that reflect themselves in some part.

This isn't a dig against them, I get it in some ways. But there are a lot of women in this world who would never touch a Black Man for a whole host of reasons and navigating through that is more than a bit difficult. Because it's not acceptable to outright say, "I don't date Black men" even when it's demonstrably the case.

And of course this goes for other points of difference like religion and politics and class, education to some degrees and on it goes.

Edit: just a thought I had based on my observations and experiences with women:

I think the women with the highest self esteem pick men that are strong complements to what they already have in life because they're already satisfied with the lives they live.

The ones with the lowest are much more likely to branch out because that level of self-assuredness and self love isn't something they have themselves. Seeking out someone that reflects them means being with someone they loathe, or resent, or cannot respect any more than they can respect themselves.

I suppose the healthiest middle ground is seeking a partner that's different enough to you that they introduce new ways of thinking and living into your life, but not as a substitute for what you're already doing. I haven't met that many women like this.

Honestly, women that I've known like this have usually been single and quite happy that way. And I respect it.

They get enough variety from their friends and adventures

JNRoberts42 · 2023-09-16T16:41:03+00:00

Porn, it's porn. There are multitudes of bleached blonds with light eyes on porn and social media. Obviously POC from conservative cultures and countries are comparatively rare in porn and social media.

Men tend to seek whatever they trained their dicks to respond to in their teen years.

Safinated · 2023-09-16T16:52:09+00:00

Men have a hive mind and women do not. Women are diverse, men are narrow. Men compete over the same small group, women do not

OzandtheWizard · 2023-09-16T17:55:55+00:00

I'm an older white man born in Australia but now living in the US. Color has never mattered to me, culture and how you conduct yourself is what it's all about for me...

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-09-16T18:34:35+00:00

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2015/08/19/exploring-racial-bias-among-biracial-and-single-race-adults-the-iat/

Racial bias and preferences appear to the be the same for poc regardless of gender.

Title	Dating for POC
Author	skrimpers
Upvotes	8
Comments	38
Date	September 16, 2023 4:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16kbuar/dating_for_poc/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-for-poc.1232022 https://theredarchive.com/post/1232022

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